Latest Posts by well-shit-were-doomed - Page 4

you were a mcr, fob, p!atd, 21 pilots emo

i was a bvb, ptv, sws, atl emo

we are not the same

this is the one day a year that i am absolutely insufferable for 24 hours

ofmd spoilers

Nigel and Chauncey getting stabbed/shot in the same eye.

Everyone blaming Stede when it was just an accident.

the petrified orange coming from jim’s family tree, which i think is symbolic for their love for the family they’ve lost, ending up with stede’s daughter as a reminder of his love as he prepares to leave for good.. i’m thinking thoughts

ofmd spoilers

The parallel of Ed saying he could fake his death. And also that scene where he said he’d thought he’d have a cooler death than this. “Like being eaten by a tiger…”

And Stede faking his death with a jungle cat.

i NEED someone to get married Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner style. PLEASE

taika waititi is a silver foxy mother fucker and i want to lick him up and down

I would just like to say this look from Ed absolutely destroys me cos he's just trying to cheer Stede up and gives him these beautiful big puppy dog eyes like "Here look I love you I'm doing this for you" and it MELTS ME LOOK AT IIITTTTTT 😭

ofmd spoilers

I think Mary and Stede really do love each other. Not in a romantic way of course. But they definitely love each other. In an unconditional, under the surface kinda way. They hated being with each other because they didn’t make each other happy in the roles that they were playing.

Them talking it through (as a crew).

I think that if they met under different circumstances and played different roles in each other’s lives, it would have been different. Good different. Really good different.

That’s where they’re going. They figured out why they made each other so miserable. And the fact that they want to make it right, to make each other happy. Shows that they love each other.

I like to imagine that they stay good friends. That Mary and Doug get married and have a good life together with the kids. The kids love Doug.

Stede goes off and finds Ed. They realize they love each other. They stay together. They sail the seas.

Every once in a while, they come back and visit Mary and Doug and the kids. The kids listen to them tell stories. Alma is fascinated. They take them on the ship.

Everyone is happy.

Samba Schutte’s Instagram is the treasure we were looking for all along.

also Taika Waititi, David Jenkins, and Con O’Neill’s twitters

ofmd spoilers

Stede not being cut out for the pirate life when he was on the ship out at sea, b e i n g a p i r a t e.

But Stede handling himself perfectly and being all feral and pirate-y while back on land. Him being able to talk about death without exploding. Him putting a knife to Doug’s throat without a second thought. The oomf. The oomf that Blackbeard taught him. The “Now that’s a fuckery.” LIKE COME ON

ofmd spoilers

Not “Stede” getting crushed by a harpsichord in episode 10 after saying we must face the music when they were found by the Spanish.

I know it’s just an expression but that’s funny come on.

Vico Ortiz said on their tiktok that in an original draft, Jim’s favorite color was going to be purple, but it was changed to teal. There’s also a little detail of Olu’s earring being teal.

Stede and Ed are also shown in teal and purple.

I like the idea of Olu and Stede being teal. And Jim and Ed being purple.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdHnuv42/

The parallel of Stede at the beginning, leaving Mary and his family to sail the sea. Alone on this big ship with all his things. Nervous and scared about how he’ll fare as a pirate.

Then Stede at the end, leaving to find Ed and his home, where he belongs. Alone on this tiny boat with nothing. Confident and determined. Happy.

OFMD spoilers

It’s not the kraken and the lighthouse. It’s the ship and the lighthouse !!!!!!!

Stede and Mary got married in front of the lighthouse, and they were told to be lighthouses to each other. Mary gave Stede and lighthouse painting for their anniversary. Stede gave Mary a ship for their anniversary. These little gifts represent who they are to each other. Stede is the lighthouse. Mary was supposed to be the ship, but she didn’t like it. She didn’t want it.

Stede goes off to sea, and he takes the lighthouse painting, and the model of the ship, and the ship itself. Along the way, he meets Ed.

Ed is fascinated by the model ship and the big ship. Instead of thinking it’s ridiculous like Mary and everyone did, he thinks it’s incredible.

When they realize the Spanish are into them, and they need a plan, they say, “We need to be lighthouses.” This goes back to choosing Ed over Mary. Except Ed isn’t the lighthouse. Stede is the light of the lighthouse which the Spanish avoided. Stede is still the lighthouse. You can’t have two lighthouses.

Everything happens, they get caught, Stede goes back to Mary, etc. Mary is living fine without Stede. As Ed said, you’re supposed to avoid lighthouses so you don’t crack up on the rocks. That’s what Mary did. She avoided Stede She wasn’t the ship that goes with Stede’s lighthouse. Ed is.

At the end we see Ed, a mess, looking at the lighthouse painting while on the ship. He went back to the ship. He chose the ship. He’s the ship. And he’s a mess because he didn’t avoid the lighthouse. He cracked up on the rocks.

By the time Ed realized he was the ship, he had already crashed.

Hope my rambling makes sense.

misha misha misha mISHA MISHA MISHA MISHA MI-

the feels ™️

Here’s the thing about human nature:

Think about things you know. Think about the things that live in your head, that got encoded into your memory without being learned.

My parents will get on YouTube and look at compilations of Top 80’s Songs and sing verses of every last one. They quote SNL skits that aired 20 years ago.

People in my generation quote Vines the same way. We know jingles from infomercials we haven’t seen in over a decade. It’s been months and I still find the words humming in my head, Turtleneck and blazer, on point like a laser…

I can sing songs I never intentionally listened to. It’s going down, I’m yelling Timber tumbles through my head without me knowing where it’s from. As an adult, I looked up “apologize” on youtube because of a vivid memory of being in the dentist’s chair as a child and hearing, It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late… I have always instinctively known that Boots with the fur follows Apple bottom jeans.

I can’t hear “What do you want” without the overwhelming urge to say “I want to sing and dance!” because of a Ray Stevens song. I can’t hear “What does the fox say?” without feeling something. I dare not say “Dumb ways to die” in front of my siblings.

Did you ever sit down and intentionally memorize the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody? Were you ever a fan of Owl City or do you just know that “You would not believe your eyes” is followed by “If ten million fireflies?”

Why do mnemonics work on us? How often do you say to yourself, “Thirty days hath September” or sing the ABC’s to yourself quietly? My dad told me, “If red touches black, he’s a friend of Jack, but if red touches yellow, he can kill a fellow” and I remember it. I can count by threes without thinking about it because of a video I had in elementary school. I can sing the alphabet in Greek and in Spanish because I listened to alphabet songs for them. I still know Be, am, is, are, was, being, have, has, had, could, would, should, may, might, must, shall, can, will, do, did, does, having are almost all English “helping verbs” because of a video I watched in high school. The only reason I know anacondas are found in Ecuador is because of a CollegeHumor parody of Nicki Minaj’s song Anaconda.

Study advice tells you to make up rhymes to memorize information. Commercials have jingles and slogans and rhythmic phrases because we automatically memorize them. It’s batshit that “make a mnemonic” is standard advice for students. How is that not harder than just remembering?

You know what follows “Hey diddle diddle,” but why? You can probably name most, if not all, of Santa’s reindeer. You know what Superman can leap in a single bound whether or not you’ve ever given a shit about Superman. You know “Ring around the rosie” is followed by “Pocket full of posies.”

I posted about this a while back, but you know that song about murdering Barney that you or your siblings used to sing? That song has been sung for over 30 years. Across multiple continents. There’s a tree of variants based on the same basic theme, There’s even multiple versions in Spanish based on the Spanish Barney theme song.

Where I can’t remember poems, there are little indents in my memory where their syllables should be. But I have multiple poems memorized that I never memorized on purpose.

You have definitely heard about how The Iliad is an epic poem. Before writing, everything was passed down orally. Everything. “How on earth did they do it?” people wonder, and bitch about how technology has ruined our memories, which is hilarious, because how they did it is obvious.

We are WIRED to memorize. If something rhymes or is rhythmic, our brains are terrifyingly good at making that shit last FOREVER. We can’t make it stop. “Damn it, I can’t get this song out of my head!” we will say. I have had this happen to me after hearing a song literally once.

Rhythm, rhyme, meter, the basic components of poetic structure, are VERY fundamental to how our memory works. Somehow. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” is in trochaic meter. If it was “Teenage Mutant Samurai Turtles” it wouldn’t stick around the way it did. But if you sing it, it sticks around.

Why does this work?

Do you know anyone that never gets songs stuck in their head, that can’t remember jingles and poems and theme songs? Is there anyone you can think of that just…doesn’t have that lightbulb light up when you sing half of something they should remember? Dyslexia, aphantasia, prosopagnosia, disabilities where faculties we think of as “things brains do” are missing are pretty common, but are there humans that can’t do this?

It would be noticeably disabling. Imagine trying to memorize your ABC’s if you can’t sing them, even in your head.

there are two things that made me what i am today. both pieces of literature. both read in sixth grade. one, an extensive published series spanning over nine books and hundreds of chapters all written by the accredited author james patterson. the other, a gravity falls fanfiction that taught me what the tag lemon means

that is my mom

my mom is literally the most selfish person in the world 

did you take french in high school, or are you straight ?????

MONEY CAT MONEY CAT MONEY CAT M O N E Y C A T M O N E Y C A T M O N E Y C

procedurally generated chess pieces

I had an idea for a Play

It’s Hamlet 

No Stage, just a bunch of chairs and props scattered around the room, audience sits wherever they want 

A Disclaimer is given at the beginning of the play: “There Will Be Blood, and Audicence paticipation.”   “You will be expected to stand up and yell “STOP!”.”   “You’ll know when.”

Play continues as normal, but maybe with a little more Verve than usual 

Just let the actors be Real Unhinged 

Make it clear somewhere in the second act, that the actors aren’t pulling thier punches- 

Those are REAL broken noses, that’s REAL blood on the floor and those swords sure as hell aren’t blunted 

HOPEFULLY someone in the audience stands up and yells “STOP” before rosencrantz and Guildenstern are killed on stage 

From that point on, the play is Improv 

Whoever stands up is treated by the actors like another character in the play- Hamlet will try to convince them to aid his cause, Polonius to get them to Kill Hamlet, Ophelia to get her the hell out of there etc. 

The Doors Are Locked

Efforts to make them break character will be ignored, they can only be reasoned with “In Character" 

It is now up to the Audience to try and stop The Tragedy. 

 This is a terrible thearer production, a great horror movie or a fantastic prank on theater critics.

Reblog until Obama (barack obama) sees it.

story time: presidential edition

so you know how everyone has a story

you know

like the story

like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story

and you know exactly what they mean

the story

well 

i have a story

and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:

barack obama

pre-2008 reebok sneakers 

and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life 

so here we go

it all began eight years ago

(i was a gangly child then) 

and barack obama came to town

(when i was a young girl)

(my father took me out into the city)

(to see the president of the united states, obama) 

(barack obama)

except it wasn’t the city but where my parents worked 

and my mother was hired to take pictures of obama shaking the hands of others

(rich people)

(ceo’s) 

(people who didn’t wear reeboks to meet the president)

so i skipped school to see obama

(naturally) 

(but my teacher was a republican so it still counted as an absence) 

and the adventure begun

but as i soon learned

most of the adventure was waiting in a large room with my mother and some secret service men for roughly eight hours 

because there is no timing with obama

(barack obama)

no one can know when obama is supposed to be there

(barack obama)

there is no, like, obama warning system

(barack)

it’s just that one second he’s not there

and the next second

he’s there

(barack obama)

so it was eight hours

and i remember nothing from those eight hours except for when one of the secret service men tried to talk to me

‘how are your studies,’ he said

how’s school, he probably meant

but i didn’t understand at the time

i was a gangly child

i was scared

he was tall

(i cried)

and then all of a sudden

(about eight hours into the eight hours)

he was there

(barack obama)

he was beauty 

he was grace

he was

(barack obama)

he walked into the room

he wasn’t wearing reeboks 

(i noticed)

(i began to feel i’d made a mistake)

my mother took pictures of him shaking the hands of others

(rich people)

(ceo’s)

(none of whom were wearing reeboks) 

and at the very end

obama began to leave 

(barack obama)

i was happy enough to have graced his presence

but my parents

my parents were not happy

they needed more

‘mr. obama,’ they called

and they pointed to me

‘of course,’ obama said

(barack obama)

he’s so nice, i thought

and then it hit me

oh no, i thought

oh yes, my parents thought at some point, probably

i’m obama, obama thought, most likely

i was going to meet obama

up close and personal

obama

(barack obama)

the rest was a blur

and the next thing i knew i was there

with obama

(barack obama)

his hand was shaking my hand

his hand was on my hand

(nothing had ever felt so right)

‘so what’s you’re name,’ he asked 

(with obama’s voice)

(because he was obama)

(barack obama)

and i almost forgot but i told him

and he said it correctly even though it’s weird 

(obama said my name)

and we were off to a good start

how was i to know

how was i to know the horrors to come

‘so how old are you,’ he asked then

and that’s when this dream became a nightmare

‘twelve,’ i said

a seemingly innocent answer

but here’s the thing

i was 

thirteen. 

(thirteen)

(13)

(12+1)

(16-3)

(13.0)

(Thirteen.) 

what have i done, i thought

(panic! at the election)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3LGopSVju4

i still don’t know why i did it

did i really forget? 

did i do it for the thrill of the chase?

to see if i could?

maybe

but obama didn’t know

i did it, i thought, i lied

i lied to the president of the united states

i pulled it off

the greatest lie in history

the greatest heist

(i didn’t know what a heist was)

(i was thirteen)

‘oh so you’re in 6th grade then,’ obama said

shit.

i was so close

shit what do i say, i thought

the journey is not over

the nightmare rages on

what do i say

i open my mouth to say, yes

‘no,’ i say

what the fuck, i think 

‘no i’m in 7th grade” 

(because i was)

maybe he won’t know, i thought

but he did.

(obama’s been around the block)

(obama knows what’s up)

‘so you’re ahead of your class, then’ he said

(i wasn’t)

(i failed basic math at least twice by this time)

‘yes,’ i said, just wanting this nightmare to be over

just wanting the lie to end

for obama to call me out on my shit and arrest me

to spend the rest of my youth locked away in prison where i couldn’t hurt anyone any more with my lies

i waited

i waited for arrest

but arrest didn’t come

and that was even worse.

obama trusted me

obama thought i was a good kid

obama thought i was ahead of my class 

(ahead of my class) 

i let him down

i let obama down

(barack obama)

i watched him leave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYNH1baA_7k

obama, i mouthed out after him

obama i’m sorry

(he trusted me)

why did i do it, you ask

i don’t know

after all these years

i still don’t know

it still haunts me

i still wake up at night, shaking, and i think

i lied to the president of the united states

(twice)

the photographic evidence of my nightmare hangs in my father’s office

i’m smiling through my pain

i’m wearing reeboks

obama is not

(barack obama)

i hope that someday, after obama’s retirement 

we can put this all behind us and start anew 

start fresh

(no more lies)

(no more deceit)

but i’m not naive

i know that we can never really go back

back to the way things were

five seconds after i met him but five seconds before i lied

but i can dream

i can hope

obama

obama i’m sorry

(barack obama)

Edgar the Eagle (Edgar Allan Flo)

“Names are like moms with sprinklers”

-my mother misreading a sign that said “Nanas are like moms with sprinkles”

My friend: egg

Me: *sigh* egg