Latest Posts by well-shit-were-doomed - Page 5

My little sister is creating a slave army on Minecraft. She’s building houses with dungeons in the basements and filling them with villagers. She’s only seven, but I’m pretty sure she’s already building her empire.

Paint me like one of your French girls

you think im being all dramatic because i be sighing all the damn time but jokes on you i have asthma and i can never fucking breathe

while we were watching judge judy my sister just asked my grandpa what his name was and my mom responded by yelling “im batman” from the kitchen where she was making burgers

does coughing for like five straight minutes count as a good enough ab workout for today

imma bout to drink a whole bottle a cough syrup and fucking astral project myself to saturn

me, drinking pineapple juice: I wonder who had the idea to put pineapple juice in drinkable cans my sister, staring ominously into the distance: god

so I was just watching Hannibal (the movie not the show thank god) and my mom looks at me and says You know how chicken legs taste different then chicken thighs? And so I was like yeah? Not knowing where this was going So she continues saying Do you think cannibals have a preferred body part? And so of course I looked it up and when I didn’t find anything my sister from across the room just looks up and says Cannibalism who?

Josh: the wine you may find this funny but i shit you not i laughed at this for at least five minutes while getting weird looks from others in the grocery store fuck you Josh for making this wine that made me laugh so hard

king good boy

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