Me To Everyone I Meet: Chill, It'll Be Fine! Take Care

Ive had an almost but not quite bad day. Jazz band was good and I woke up okay, if not tired. I left the social studies sheet at school and it's due tomorrow :/ The art teacher left everyone have a free for all on unclaimed pieces from last semester, most of the good stuff was taken before I got there but I did get a left over print that was nice. I've been working on a writing project that I hope I finish, I've actually enjoyed writing it so far. I can't wait till the week end, I think I'll go to the library :)

Why do all my favorite posts I've made only have one note. I mean the one note is me because I'm a genius but tumblr, c'mon, they were throw away posts. They're, admittedly, also genius, but also not what I want people to like. Y'all wrong. Just fully incorrect. This is my professional opinion as the dictator of this blog and y'all are bad at this.

Me shopping at ten dollar store:

Sweet now I have everything I need to make the wings for a costume :D

Oh wait fuck I need fluffy feathers for the converts.. this black feather boa should work

-sees an witch hat with black feather on the rim fully knowing that it won't be enough feathers-

I must have it

The ticket is always blank

I feel as though life has been passing me by

It feels like I'm at a train station

Watching the trains pass

Wonder which one was mine

It's hearing a busker's guitar, calm peaceful

We stand their in our own melancholic solitude

Not daring to look up

Buried in our own self doubt

It's watching clouds roll over blue skies

It's watching the seconds tick

Waiting for the clock to fall

And my body to decay

It was laying in the grass

Trying to become a bug

It was standing in the rain

To become a puddle

I think of these things

These thoughts of death that plague my brain

I watch another train go by

The next one, I think,

I'll get on

I sat there in an almost peaceful silence, if not for the thoughts swishing back and forth in my mind like a broken washing machine, I'd have thought it tranquil. I felt myself choke, I choke and all the thoughts I couldn't swallow. If I felt any better I would have made a joke there, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. I tried adjusting, maybe the thoughts would disappear like that. They didn't, they bubbled menacingly, they twirled in circle infornt of my eyes. A shuddering gasp for air broke the silence. And then another. A few more as my vision blurred in the dim lighting. It didn't sound like me, rather, like someone else was there, someone else's desperate grabbing for air, someone else's breif and lonely wimper, not my own. I tried to gather myself, I didn't even know what I was crying for. I needed something to block out the quiet cries, before they became racking sobs. Something to put the incessant thoughts to rest, if only for a while.

I love the fact that I’m using this cesspool of chaos and showers to build up my self confidence. 

Guys don't leave your doors open, Its zucchini season.

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right

Me getting really emotional whenever someone correctly genders me is one of the most pitiful things that I've ever seen. Me getting all happy and excited/really sappy is really sad because I'm like a beggar on the street looking for some spare gender euphoria when someone calls me anything I can associate to masculinity in the slightest.