I Want To Rest On Your Waters/ Reflecting Your Light Beyond Your Reach/ Teasing Your Horizon With A Travel

Crazed

I'm crazed by how the thought of you overwhelms my immediately/ and expodiciously exposes my vulnerability exceedingly/ needing this fix, shock, wake up call/ to awaken my ability to be enthralled/ shock becomes awe as numb becomes dumb/ to the sensation that mundane can make ones sensation become/ u conquered (my defenses) I saw (felt u while senseless) we came (and climax consistent)/ forever changed (ever-present and persistent)/ for I thought and dreamed and knew you/ I wished and believed and knew you/ I doubted and denied, coward and lied to myself in the face of your truth/ knowledge of you is spiritual, protecting you is ritual/ wanting you is now habitual, as the idea of living without you is minescule/

-Pati3ntWo1f

So even-though it is torture, because my dream cannot be completed... i will do it anyway, because the dream is worth enough, worth the pain and burden of never being fulfilled... and those few moments - although incomplete - are so enriching and magical. If i am left to only feel partially and woefully, then so be it, because i cannot deny my desire to feel. I’ll be the sad story and tragic ending that troubled souls cure their moments of loneliness in, when they hear it or see it. I’ll be the warning of what to avoid and how lifeless and bleek things can really get. I’ll be the bottomless abyss, the void, the emptyness and hopeless and romantically make them my home... and the opaque that, by contrast, gives the heroic, redemptive, compassionate, enduring, triumphant, joyful, desirable, fulfilling, optimistic, happy-ending stories their array of emotional fragrance, their textures of enjoyability, their sweet palpability and enticement - their thrill, their signs of life and worth living.

- pati3ntwo1f (091120)

Statement of Intent

You okay if I take some of that weight on my shoulders and I intent-fully commit myself to your honest expression - as a form of homage to self, respect, recognition, reverence, release, restructure, renew, reenergize, … and potentially so many other plusses that there can be no minus….? May I? Yes?

Statement of My Intentions:

I intend to not pressure but be an available reminder. I intend to not burden but to ease. I intend to not limit or define or expect. I intend to accompany, to balance, to provide presence and mutuality. I intend to do more by doing less. I intend to serve and not be served. I intend to stand in the gaps where i fit and be a reinforcing echo of your own intentions. I intend to be weightless but felt as support, safety, encouragement, reassurance. I intend to be complimentary and accepting of you as you are, however you are, wherever you are (in mind or spirit or emotion) at any given time.

- pati3ntwo1f (080322)

10112019

I’ll state my intentions like they were a poetic password to be played off of my lips sincerely and into your ear sweetly...

an offering, to your goddess, of my soul - to come and taste of it and know that i am one with my truth...

I will bow and kneel, submitting myself to your waist... pleading with my wet lips upon yours for your acceptance - of me - to moisten and flow and grant me access to you, yours, heaven...

I’ll play praises upon your vessel with my fingertips, positioned around you like one would be if passionately playing the cello - as a cellist is to their instrument - your body being my instrument that i focus on; study on; practice on; repeatedly earning my way from “a gifted talent, yet a Passionate Novice” to “Purely remarkable Professional” to “Mastery”... mastering the art of keeping you with me, safely, ever-prepared, and In Tune... mastering the personal connection and the art of this instrument -your vessel - to the point inwhicb either of our names is inseparable from the other... and on demand or at whim i can bring angelic vibrations, in the form of pleasure’s song, up from within you and resounding out from you... a symphany of sensations made by two acting as one.

-Pati3ntWo1f

I must try! Wishing...

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

I’ve already set the light and the music and created additional environment and mood. Right now i am Cleansing via lather then Manifesting via moisturization then Energizing via Confidence’s scent...

I wish to tempt just enough to entice you to follow my lead. I wish nourish enough for you to bloom before our eyes. I wish to wash away all energy that is entrapping and/or limiting and/or relying (like leeching) and/or not of you...

And i seek to...

Set...

You...

Free!

To escape the confines of time, and habit, and subjection and all other mental/social limits...

And resurrect you in your glory...

- With all the percs of the flesh bestowed and becoming to your whim -

... as the Goddess you are! ... and I know you to be.

-Pati3ntWo1f (03232021)

A Poet’s Chance - 1am & 3 Hour Drive (10.25.20)

The second verse AND how he sings it... and how it feels while i listen to it rn (after watching a 25min doc how this song was made - Netflix) and after that feeling, that all-ness in my chest we all call our heart (the idea)...

and the sensation like drinking ice cold water after having a peppermint... or breathing in freezing air while not dressed for the weather and its like with each breath you can feel your entire respiratory system... but, place that feeling in your heart (the idea) and feeling the gap, the hole in the all-ness... and feeling it whistle as your breathing cadence slows and deepens and swells as you sense it... the missing…

Its space

Its empty volume

And the phantom feelings faintly teasing, haunting, ghosts of what was... what I used to be able to and did feel

... the thoughts ... they echo like questions ... with no response, just these feelings, imaginings, swells and hollow whistles…

And the song repeats, again

I’ve lost track of how many times, because I set it, intentionally to repeat... and trap me here…

Because I felt it... i feel it... and morbidly am too excited to feel the

All-ness of my heart (the idea) again... that i am sorrowfully enjoying

The cold air exposing the hole, the missing, the empty space of me.

-Pati3ntWo1f (102520)

She…

She trusts - be it blindly, intent-fully, instinctually, passively - that the connection (acceptance) will be there whenever she returns

… and it will be… because she deserves… because he has earned… because she has burned… because he has reserves… because she emits it… because he elicits…because she just does… because he just loves… because she been through… because he’s been too… because she accepts… because he respects… because because because… “the connection will be there whenever she returns”…

Imagine if she learns..?!

-pati3ntwolf (062422)

“Be strong in your pride as a woman! Let him take you until he tires, but still leave him wanting. Be a woman he can’t consume.” - Yujiro Hanma, “Baki”(Netflix)

“It is like I have a cast over my heart, and a sling to hold it in place. Hidden. Unseen behind the smiles and jest and seemingly well wishes and responses. And there are the special ones… that somehow seem to sign the cast - leaving their mark, with no intent to stay or return when I heal… if I heal.”

-Pati3ntWo1f (03102020)