filiasapphonis

Latest Posts by filiasapphonis

Everything I do, I wonder what you’d think about it.

-the greedy heart.

27/12/22

so i’m seeing her next week :)

We need updates?! Did you meet her before going to uni?

ok so i know it’s been like 3 months sorry !!! but i did meet her and we just had a really long conversation , i don’t really remember the details of it

i’ve moved countries now but i’m coming home next week for a good while for christmas, i plan to see her at some point then

we have emailed pretty frequently since i moved and some of the stuff she sends me is so cute (also she’s started signing her emails with her first name and now her nickname 🥹)

what did she reply !!?!

she was just like !!! use my email also miss u come see me before u move to university

so

i’m seeing her on friday

crying screaming throwing up

she replied ???????????

“In my memory, it doesn’t end. We just stay there, looking at each other, forever.”

— John Green / Paper Towns

i think our story just ended. made a reason to go into school today and she had left by the time i got there. tomorrow is the last day of term and there’s so little chance of seeing her and i have no reason to be there . but i wanted to apologise for the email and leave a way to get in touch but our last interaction is now just a normal conversation and that stupid email. i know it’s stupid to think that her leaving early today had anything to do with me but i can’t stop thinking that she wants to avoid me.

she’s not going to be here all summer as she’s going travelling so i can’t even dream about running into her some random day, and the next time i could see her is next year now if even .

i don’t want to email her again because i feel like she hates me but i feel so…. crushed

how does 7 years and all those chats and silly memories just end on a random week day and i didn’t even know it was the last one ?

how do u guys deal with the guilt ? sometimes i feel like i make him so uncomfortable and that’s the last thing i ever wanna do.

went to leave books back in to school today and she wasn’t there .

exception by renforshort should be the tc community anthem tbh

i just listened to it there and it’s on repeat now

re downloaded the app and thankfully no reply

but

what if i get in trouble or she hates me or won’t speak to me anymore ???

i already don’t know what to do because i am officially out of school. it’ll only be a few weeks before we lose our school email addresses , i have no reason to be in school anymore and to top it off she’ll be away all summer . it’s pretty common here to come back at christmas time after you have started uni to say hi to teachers , but i can’t wait that long . 7 years can’t be reduced to this .

and it hurts so so so much because no matter how strong my feelings are it won’t change anything for her and there is nothing i can do to change that and the email was . stupid . but here we are

my friends and i went out the other night and i got drunk and emailed her 😭😭😭😭😭so embarrassed i just deleted the whole email app

it wasn’t even bad , but i have to go in and give books back now so going to be very awkward. also mildly afraid she’ll hate me ??

my friends and i went out the other night and i got drunk and emailed her 😭😭😭😭😭so embarrassed i just deleted the whole email app

it wasn’t even bad , but i have to go in and give books back now so going to be very awkward. also mildly afraid she’ll hate me ??

just did my last exam so i will ….. never see her again

unless i go in next week to return books so i can speak to her

what do i SAY tho she’s not here all summer and i’m too nervous too ask for her number

i literally hate when i go to talk to her and there’s someone in her room… it’s always the same guy too like LEAVE this is my time

she emailed me unprompted today WHAT

Did you talk with her again about THAT movie she proposed to you ? ( the lesbian one)

yes lmaooo she said maybe she needs to watch it again (?) and recommended me way more movies

I don’t think I’ll ever forget you. But when I think of you, I won’t be remembering you as love, because you were far from it. I’ll remember you as my biggest heartbreak. You were a maybe. An almost. You were my dream that came to life, but for it to last was too good to be true. And to this day, I don’t think there’s anything more tragic that’s happened to me.

c / maybe one day you’ll become less of a core memory

last class w her , got photos including a few of just us two🥺

first time seeing j back at school after easter and

i spent all lunch in her room and it just . felt like home

middle of easter holidays … i miss her sm

always enjoy the little things in life, because one day you’ll look back and realize they were big things.

j recommended me some movies so . weekend plans x

tips for anxious tc'ers

having a tc is hard. eveyone knows the feeling of going blank when youre around your tc, or stumbling and choking on your words when you try to speak to them. so i decided to compile a list of tips that i have used that have worked for me (an extremely shy and awkward person) get close to my (extremely closed off/cold-ish) tc. if you're looking for ways to start a conversation with your tc and make that leap into a more casual relationship - read on.

these tips work well for when you're both online and on-campus :)

pets.

this is a very good way to talk to your tc when everyone is stuck at home during online school. how many times have you seen a dog running across the frame in your tc's class? or heard meows in the background? if this every happens, take the leap and ask your tc (preferably after class as not to derail) what their pets name is. when i did this my tc even she sent me some pictures! it's a great conversation starter and you can ask about the pet again in the future :)

casual segways.

this one is a little trickier and more nerve-wracking and it can be difficult depending on what class your tc teaches, but making the leap is really important. to do this, you have to first be having a class discussion in your tc's class. for example, one time we were learning about how different cultures celebrate christmas. so i casually asked L how she'd be celebrating and spending her holiday. this turned into a conversation and brought us slightly closer together. asking your tc personal questions related to what you're learning is great, it shows them you're interested in both them and the class and everybody loves talking about themselves.

joining/coming to class early for small talk.

i know everyone has sat and waited a couple minutes before joining a google meet so that they aren't alone with the teacher, but joining early when it's just the two of you can create some really good conversations. it's scary and you have to be quick, but joining quickly and giving a quick 'hi! how are you?' can create a friendly relationship between you. adding in a 'how was your weekend?' can create a great conversation as-well.

advice, questions, help.

this is an obvious one, but asking your tc for help or reaching out to them for guidance is a great way to talk to them. if you have assignments or assessments in their class, you can ask for advice or for them to check on your work. the worst part about this tip is actually coming up with a question to ask, lol. you can confirm due dates, clarify details, and ask a quedtion about what to do or how to do something.

compliments (within reason)

everyone likes getting complimented, and when we're online it can be a great way to lift up your tc's mood. i wouldn't go too far with compliments, i'd stick with things like 'i like your shirt' or "cool earrings!'. another great opportunity is complimenting your tc if they get a new haircut or change something about their appearance. one time, my tc got bangs and i complimented her. this became a conversation and that was one of the first times i really spoke to her! and if you're worried about being weird or obvious, there have been countless times when ive complimented other teachers on their jewelery or clothes. its alwayd been recieved well.

speak up!

keeping engaged and active during a class is really difficult to do, especially whenever we're online. a good way to create a good relationship with your tc is engaging in their class! obviously, dont be obnoxious or rude, but answering questions and making jokes can be a great way to liven up a lesson. if your tc asks 'how are you guys' in your class and nobody says anything, take the leap and answer! it can be awkward and really scary, but trust me it's worth it. don't let your tc's questions go unanswered.

I love the TCC coz people with crushes on female teachers be like "she looks so hauntingly beautiful today, her hair is in a loose knot. When I showed her my homework that contained three of our most pleasant inside jokes, she merely smirked." And people with crushes on male teavhsrs be like "he said my name correctly today so that's fun? Still want to suck him off unfortunately."

I'm not saying that I'm in love with you but I'm vague posting about you on tumblr.com

I search for pieces of you wherever I go,

Though you are not near, I try and find you,

In words, in music, in light and dark,

You are there in everything I do, in everything I see and feel

1 Week left to easter, 2 weeks when we come back , then that is …. it for school . forever

we are off for exams from may but our final official day is june …. i’m going try and come in and see her frequently before this

it actually rips my heart up though because although i’ll probably ask her if we can stay in touch , i’m not guaranteed to see her ever again

i want to cook her dinner so bad

ok so i watched it and it’s just lesbian porn tbh help….?

30/03

j recommended me a movie to watch called room in rome ?? and she was like oh it’s 18+ be careful and i replied IM 18 IM LEGAL so…. embarrassed 🫠🫠

but i looked this movie up and it’s literally just . lesbian sex WHAT DOES THIS MEAN