Avengers 4: Carol Danvers Uses Tony Stark As A Baseball Bat And Beats The Fuck Out Of Thanos

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Listening to your religious co-workers murmur about angels and miracles, is always a little awkward for you. They had asked you before, if you believed in angels. You had hesitantly agreed, and to your relief they had asked nothing else on the subject, though they seemed surprised that someone like you, believed in angels. 

The mental image of their reactions if you told them the truth though, are enough to have you giggling a bit. You had gotten a few odd looks for that, not that such a thing would be anything new, but luckily they had shuffled off a few moments later.

The idea of telling them that you had once smashed a vase over an angels head when they had appeared in your bedroom, or even the fact that they stuck around and have taken to calling you “Little Miracle”, is more than a little amusing. You’re pretty sure they wouldn’t take such “blasphemy” well.

As you opened the door, the sight greeting you was not, as your friend put it, "a teeeny mistake with a summoning spell". In a hasty attempt at a barrier on one side of the room was a couch, your friend staring fearfully at the scene in front if them. Two entities, one whose face was constantly changed from different animals to humans, with a cloak of billowing blue smoke surrounding them, the other a attractive figure that glowed gold and grand, gravity defying jewelry and an extra set of arms the most prominent features. They seemed completely different, the only thing in common the rage on their faces and tendency to hurl insults in odd languages at eachother. God's who had been ejected from there plane lost their powers, and it seemed these ones we're not taking it will. With a swift gesture with your arm, a nearby vase shatters in the middle of the angry gods, all tension in the room halting as three sets of eyes land on your figure. You couldn't tell if they were surprised by you being there or your bored expression. Maybe it was the words that came out your mouth next. "If the both of you would stop throwing a hissy fit, we can actually address the current slightly more civilized than primal apes. "

At the insult, the multi-faced god's, well, multi-facing, became erratic and quicker, speaking in an odd dialect.

"]ou $are ßpeak ïn ßuch æ \ay [o ?e. $o ]ou ñot (now \ho \e ære? "

After deciphering that the first letters consisted of the appropriate human symbols, you had run out of mental energy from the journey here, lack of sleep, and promised vacation bullshit.

"Yeah, a couple of powerless gods who think they can overcompensate for their usefulness with their ego. "

Whilst the first gods face recedes into a display of anger and shock, face shifting, hw other breaks out into high pitched tinkling laughter, teasing the other god with a child's naitivity and mentality.

As you sighed, a dark premonition crept up, assured by the human in the feeble position still behind the couch and reconstructed vase flying at your head.

If humanity truly is in the hands of gods, we're all fucked.

When your friend had called you up to nervously tell you that they’d had a small accident with a spell and needed your help, you had expected something simple and mundane. What you had NOT been expecting, was to walk in and find your best friend very nervously waving at you from besides two deeply pissed off, and completely powerless, gods. 

And to think you had been hoping for a quiet week.

wash has effectively been dumbassified

why does this whole scene look & sound like a YTP

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

Farewell online privacy

Genuinely can’t put into words how fucking fuming I am that people are not going to see Captain Marvel because they think it’s a film about “putting down men”. She is a powerful superhero who is going to be more powerful than other male characters in the MCU, this doesn’t mean she’s putting them down. Thor is clearly a more powerful character than Valkyrie in Ragnarok but none of us have come online and said the film is sexist/puts down women, it’s just the character’s qualities. Why can’t we just enjoy this new super hero for her amazing qualities and either celebrate the fact she’s a woman, or just not let it effect you’re judgement at all until you’ve seen it. The comments I’ve seen online are honestly delirious. Genuinely people worrying that she will be, and I quote, “an unlikeble character who will use her powers to show up other men in the MCU”, so basically if she does anything powerful or cool in endgame these losers are gonna write it off as what I will assume they define as “feminist propaganda”. Honestly if anyone is thinking like this PLEASE just get a life, take the film for what it is: a superhero movie about an extremely powerful and awesome individual who, yes, will most likely be one of the most powerful additions to the MCU, shut up and enjoy it, or don’t, but don’t use gender as your reason for claiming it’s a bad film.

After two long nights, it’s finally finished