Rules Of Misogyny

guys you gotta stop thinking of women in their 30s as elderly it’s just misogyny

“Our brains were two million years in the making. That long, slow accretion doubled our cranial capacity. And the first thing we did with it was say thank you. We drew the megafauna and the megafemales, sculpted and carved them. The oldest known figurative sculpture is the Goddess of Hohle Fels, and 40,000 years ago someone spent hundreds of hours carving Her. There is no mystery here, not to me: the animals and the women gave us life. Of course they were our first, endless art project. Awe and thanksgiving are built into us, body and brain. Once upon a time, we knew we were alive. And it was good. 

And now we leave the realm of miracles and enter hell. 

Patriarchy is the ruling religion of the planet. It comes in variations―some old, some new, some ecclesiastical, some secular. But at bottom, they are all necrophilic. Erich Fromm describes necrophilia as “the passion to transform that which is alive into something unalive; to destroy for the sake of destruction; the exclusive interest in all that is purely mechanical.” In this religion, the worst sin is being alive, and the carriers of that sin are female. Under patriarchy, the female body is loathsome; its life-giving fat-cells vilified; its generative organs despised. Its natural condition is always ridiculed: normal feet must be turned into four-inch stubs; rib cages must be crushed into collapse; breasts are varyingly too big or too small or excised entirely. That this inflicts pain―if not constant agony―is not peripheral to these practices. It’s central. When she suffers, she is made obedient.” 

― Lierre Keith, ‘The Girls and the Grasses’ 

i honestly feel so bad for anyone struggling w dysphoria trying to find detrans resources on here, the tags are filled w degrading fetish content

Does Your Daughter Know It’s OK To Be Angry?

By Soraya Chemaly

May 9, 2016

Girls, taught to ignore their anger, become disassociated from themselves.

Anger is a recurring theme of the current presidential election. Every male presidential candidate has directly and overtly tapped into the very evident rage that the American public feels. They thump podiums, raise their voices, curse, and shout without being called divas, shrill, unhinged, ugly, or unlikeable. More power to them, literally.

Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, has a narrower path to tread when expressing or even responding to righteous anger. After decades in the public eye, Clinton, knows that she has to carefully manage overt displays of any strong feeling at all.

Most girls and women understand the risks they take when they become angry. No matter how justified, appearing angry won’t do her any favors and will actually undermine people’s perception of her competence and likeability. Studies show that when men are angry, people tend to lose their own confidence and defer to men’s opinions. When women are angry, the opposite happens. Studies also reveal that people will opt to work for angry-sounding aggressive men, but not with angry-sounding aggressive women.

The problem with studies that confirm what most women already know is that they may contribute to women policing themselves even more, and to parents teaching girls that being nice is better all the way around. That’s why seeing overtly and justifiably angry women who do not care that they may not be likeable to some people is so important.

According to the American Psychological Association, while both men and women feel anger, and shame related to anger, they show what they feel in different ways. For men, anger reinforces traditional gender expectations, for women it confounds them. That conflict by itself is a source of anxiety.

Girls are more likely to learn that their feelings of anger, no matter the reason they have them, are “wrong” and out of sync with their identities as girls. They are also more likely to intuit that to show anger puts their relationships at risk. Even worse, they associate anger with being unattractive in a social milieu where few things are portrayed as worse for a girl.

These messages start immediately. Ideas about anger in children are quickly infused with parental implicit biases and gender expectations. In one study, newborns were dressed in gender-neutral clothing and researchers misled adults about their sex. Parents were far more likely to describe the babies they thought were boys as upset or angry than the girls, who they categorized instead as nice and happy.

In general, starting when they are toddlers, boys in the United States are given more leeway in terms of being “out of control.” Parents and teachers expect girls to be able to control themselves more and hold them to higher standards, and so girls exhibit better self-regulation. Many parents not only think that boys can’t control themselves, but they unconsciously expect boys to be angry and girls to be sociable. When kids don’t adhere to these stereotypes, parents often respond, usually subconsciously, in ways that develop these traits accordingly. For girls, that means a whole lot of sublimation.

“Unspoken gender rules,” write Deborah Cox, Karin Bruckner, and Sally Stabb, authors of The Anger Advantage, “play into the diversion of women’s anger.”

Anger is diverted in women, who, as girls, lose even the awareness of their own anger as anger. Girls are taught, through politeness norms that suppress disruptive behavior, to use indirect methods of dealing with rage. For example, it’s “unladylike” to be loud, or “vulgar” to curse, yell, or seem unattractive. Adaptable girls find socially acceptable ways to internalize or channel their discomfort and ire, sometimes at great personal cost. Passive aggressive behavior, anxiety, and depression are common effects. Sarcasm, apathy, and meanness have all been linked to suppressed rage. Troublesome behaviors, such as lying, skipping school, bullying other people, even being socially awkward are often signs that a teenager is dealing with anger that they are unable to name as anger.

Girls, taught to ignore their anger, become disassociated from themselves.

Anger is so successfully sublimated that girls lose the ability to understand what it feels and looks like. Is her heart racing? Does she feel flushed or shaky? Does she clench her jaws at night? Is she breaking out in hives? Does she cry for no reason? Laugh inappropriately during difficult conversations? Fly off the handle over something that seems inconsequential? You can see where I’m going here…those crazy girl hormones, right? Better to just think of it as a phase.

For too many women, however, the phase never ends. It’s lives spent never expressing anger at all and believing that they don’t have the right or ability to do so without great risk.

Interestingly, the reasons men and women tend to get angry differ. A 15-year study of girls and women found that there are three primary causes of anger that are not the same in men: feelings of powerlessness, injustice, and other people’s irresponsibility.

By the time they are teenagers, many girls’ feelings of anger have been shunted into contorted shapes that no longer fit the standard (read male) ways that we think of and understand anger.

When most people think about anger management they think in terms of what can be seen: frustrated, foot-stomping people, most frequently portrayed as men, throwing things, maybe screaming or punching something. In 2004, researchers looking into gender and anger concluded that women’s complex management of anger “may not be accounted for by existing anger models.” In other words, using a male standard for understanding the problem meant, for many girls and women, simply not understanding the problem. Bottling up anger is as harmful, if not more so, than anger exhibited in violent outbursts. “Anger management” should also mean considering what can’t be seen, the kind of anger that women are more likely to experience. How we think of “anger management” should more broadly include teaching girls that it is OK to feel angry.

Few parents are considering these long-term effects when they unconsciously model or teach children lessons about politeness and how to be sociable. As they age, girls are effectively taught to put others needs first and are, indeed, rewarded for doing so, well into adulthood. The result, for many girls and women, long into old age, is a host of physical, psychological, and emotional damages. Anger impairs people’s immune systems, contributes to high blood pressure, heart damage, migraines, skin ailments, and chronic fatigue. Unresolved anger contributes to stress, tension, anxiety, depression, and excessive nervousness. It is now estimated that 30% of all teen girls have anxiety disorders.

Between the ages of 12 and 15, the number of girls who have depression triples, a rate three times that of same-age boys. Feelings of powerlessness and anger are also integral to the development of eating disorders. Suicide rates for girls between 10 and 14 tripled over the past 15 years.

Before puberty, boys and girls typically experience depression at the same frequency. “Social pressures” appear to be greater for girls and we’ve all been schooled on the impact of “hormones and emotions.” But girls aren’t just depressed when they are teens. They grow up to be more depressed in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond.

Depression is complicated—part genetic, part hormonal, part environmental, part economic. Women who make less than their male peers, for example, are four times more likely to suffer from anxiety and 2.5 times more likely to suffer from depression. Imagine what would happen if they could get angry instead?

Clinicians believe that a large component of depression is anger and a specific type of anger caused by a perceived or actual loss or rejection. There are many reasons why girls might feel rejected, powerless, and angry.

First, they begin to see the effects of gender–based double standards that fly in the face of everything they’ve learned so far about their abilities, equality, and potential. Teenage girls feel the very real disparate impact of limitations on their physical freedom and behavior. Everyone seems to have policing opinions about their clothing and appearance, their movement and bodies.

Second, they become aware of physical vulnerability. Street and sexual harassment are common occurrences, including at school. They learn about sexual assault, if they have not already been assaulted (43% of assaults happen before the age of 18). They adapt to having to restrict themselves.

Third, they begin to encounter the cultural erasure of women, people who look like them and whom they are meant to emulate, as authoritative. The older girls get, the fewer women they see in positions of power and leadership. Boys and girls move from childhood realms where women are their primary caretakers, teachers, babysitters, neighborhood, and family adults to institutions where they are marginally represented as leaders. Role models are comparatively few and far between for girls who grow up gender code-switching in ways boys aren’t expected or, for the most part, allowed to. At the same time, the opposite is happening to boys whose confidence during the same period grows.

Fourth, they are navigating the stressful tension between managing their own sexuality and the crush of women’s pervasive sexual objectification. Adults around them often unhelpfully elide the two. School dress codes, for example, are the perfect example of how attempts to stop girls from “sexualizing themselves” handily do the trick for them.

While anger in girls and women is overwhelmingly portrayed as irrational, it is, in fact, completely rational. Girls learn to filter their existences through messages of powerlessness and cultural worthlessness. Girls might be more inclined to depression because coming to terms with your own cultural marginalization and irrelevance is depressing. Why isn’t this making you angry?

Girls need to know—and should be told explicitly—that it’s alright to feel anger. That it’s a healthy emotion that, as humans, they have the right to feel and express. It might not make them any friends, but that’s another topic entirely. It also doesn’t mean giving children, girls or boys, a pass for violent, disruptive, or entitled behavior. Understanding and managing anger can be part of larger childhood lessons about resilience, empathy, and compassion.

“Girls, taught to ignore their anger, become disassociated from themselves.”

— Soraya Chemaly, from Does Your Daughter Know It’s OK To Be Angry? (via wishbzne)

Hello! This blog is my archive for various feminist resources.

About this Blog

About 6B4T

Tag list:

#articles

#books — PDF format

#reading list — recommendations

#health — general

#female health

#self help

#miscellaneous

#6b4t

Feel free to @ me if you think something should be archived here!

The flower in my header and avatar is Clitoria ternatea — Blue Butterfly Pea

Happy 2025 to women and girls only ❤️ may you get everything you wish for this year

for the anon with heavy periods, here are some changes you can make to manage it

increase your intake of these nutrients:

iron: obviously necessary to replenish blood loss, but if you’re anemic before your period, your flow will be heavier as well. sources: red meats, chicken, oysters, beans, dark leafy greens, tofu, pumpkin seeds, an iron fish.

vitamin C: for absorption of iron and to strengthen capillaries, reducing bleeding. sources: rosehips (you can buy a bag of organic dried rosehips to put in tea, it’s florally and kinda fruity,) yellow bell peppers, cantaloupe, citrus, strawberries, and dark leafy greens

vitamin K: when it comes to blood clotting, vitamin k is essential. supplementing it has been shown to reduce heavy menstrual bleeding in women who otherwise have no known blood clotting disorders sources: spinach, kale, collard/mustard greens, broccoli

omega 3s: anti-inflammatory and helps produce prostaglandins that regulate the menstrual cycle and flow. sources: mackerel, salmon, sardines, oysters, brussel sprouts, tofu, navy beans, and fish oil supplements

vitamin B6: b6 helps regulate production of serotonin and dopamine and regulates production of PgE1, a prostaglandin that’s been proven to affect menstrual cycle regularity and flow. sources: avocado, spinach, banana, sunflower seeds. this is one i recommend supplementing (along with b12) if your general health is poor.

other stuff:

blood clotting medications: tranexamic acid is the most common one, also called Lysteda, and it isn’t as scary as it sounds. it’s a blood clotting medication for adults only, used after childbirth frequently, and they even give it to people with chronic nosebleeds. there’s also Desmopressin nasal spray which has a different mechanism but the same effect. talk with your dr about side effects, but please do your own research! physicians unfortunately rarely have our best interest at heart and will often fail to inform you of side effects or drug interactions.

ginger: an anti-inflammatory, can ease pain. inhibits the enzymes prostaglandin synthetase and cyclooxygenase, both of which can create a prostaglandin imbalance that causes heavy menstrual bleeding and irregularity

raspberry leaf tea: contains fragarine, an alkaloid thought to help pelvic floor muscle cramps, reduce pain, and shorten period length. don’t drink more than 2 servings if you’re extremely sensitive to estrogen. some women swear this is their holy grail for PMS

cruciferous veggies like broccoli and brussel sprouts help your body eliminate extra estrogen which can reduce bleeding and shorten period length.

i’ll include more about all of the above stuff and other helpful nutrients for PMS like potassium, magnesium, etc in my next post about diet based on your cycle, this was just a quick post for supplements specifically to reduce a heavy flow.

lastly, stay hydrated and rest as much as possible during your period, easier said than done

menorrhagia is defined as abnormal blood loss during menstruation. this means heavy flow lasting for over a week and/or totaling greater than 80 ml (~1/4 cup) per month. if your symptoms are having an impact on your quality of life, consider seeing your gyno to find an underlying cause.

(disclaimer: i’m a dropout whose only medical training is as a lab tech and phlebotomist. i am in no way a health professional. none of this should be taken as expert medical advice)

it deeply concerns me that some popular takes against 4B from political women are “but who will birth the next generation of radical feminists?” and “but how can we change the world by refusing to participate in society?” as if the only morally correct way for women of “mature age” to participate in society is to marry a man. i also notice two key essential gender roles in this rhetoric . . .

american women your objective for the next four years is to make men miserable. exacerbate that male lonliness epidemic as much as you possibly can.