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what happens when you apply for a job in teyvat!
includes: hu tao, xiangling, rosaria, albedo
masterlist here.
"good evening, kid! what are you doing here?" "i'm here to apply for a job." "ohh, great! we have been so understaffed lately, it's just me and zhongli, everyone else who sees corpses everyday can't stand it!" "haha. i also see corpses everyday, so i will be fine. my whole family is dead." "oh, sorry. anyways, wear our uniform! here, 20 bucks please."
"um.. no. not before i see the salary." "sorry! err... it's $300000 mora a month." "what? are you for real? what a deal!"
hu tao smirked. after all, they only give staff such a high salary because they overprice their funerals. people who think zhongli is poor because he works here are so dumb! someone like him will not ever accept a paycheck.
walking to wanmin restaurant, you wanted to talk to chef mao but accidentally read the wanmin restaurant poster instead.
"chef mao, i'm here to be an apprentice." "sorry kid, we don't accept any staff. me and my daughter is enough. and we certainly don't want some stranger to ruin our recipes." "by 'recipe' you mean a fucking slime secretions sandwich? hell naw ywou do your thing. i'll work for the liuli pavilion."
"fine by me. we don't need you," chef mao says.
when he said that, a girl's head popped out from under the counter.
"dadd!!! we are in need of kitchen help. if she will ruin our recipes, we can still let her cut and prepare the ingredients! you won't need to wake up at 4 every morning to shave potatoes again..." "i suppose you're right," he sighed. "welcome aboard. but before that, how fast can you cut a carrot?" "like a normal person. i'm slow, but practice makes perfect, right.."
"yes it does. now please, cut up this chicken into cubes. our popcorn chicken is very popular."
"you? work in church? why are you even asking me? when i go to church i don't even sing with my sisters."
"well you were standing outside the church like you wanted to go inside so i thought you were a nun hiring people."
"no, i wanted to go inside because it was burning hot outside. and i was waiting for the nuns to finish singing about bartabatos." "who is that?" "you want to become a nun and don't know who that is? oh gods."
i'm truly scared of that stone faced alchemist. but i've graduated from sumeru academy, so he can't not accept me right? although i did not pass with flying colours. albedo is always wandering around collecting birds in cages and turning them into geovishaps.. how scary. but alchemy is the only thing i'm good at, and i need a job! here goes..
"hey. i'm someone who likes alchemy. wanna hire me?" "only if you're better than timaeus and won't push this green haired girl and awaken a giant dead ice flower." "umm.. surely not. that seems impossible." "well, it sure isn't. i've experienced it." "i would be surprised if you haven't. you talk about it like it's real."
"turn this boar into a lamb please, it's a test."
after a few hours, you made the boar look like a lamb. "good job. i can surely do things faster than that, but hey, at least you're better than timaeus. all he does is stand near the alchemy table and interrupt people when they want to craft something."
"i feel you... and people." you say.