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I haven’t done these incorrect quotes in like forever’s, so I forgot which ones are already done soooooooo, i’m just gonna do one instead of the normal three 
*The Squad is at Theo's house*
Ridley: Ohhhh we each get our own oven?
Theo: ...N-No...
Theo, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Ridley, motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!
Izzy: I see a-
Theo, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Ridley: Oh, well I-
Theo: Hey. wait wait. actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Theo, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Leila: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Carter: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Theo: Now I've discovered more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin'!
Theo: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Theo, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Olly, pointing to another appliance: Also, the toaster oven!
Theo:
Ridley: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Theo:
Theo, ecstatic: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS.
EVEN MORE INCORRECT QUOTES (generated)
W/ unhinged Theo, chaos trio Ridley and Golden twins, Leila and Carter :)
Carter: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!
Ridley: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!
Olly: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!
Leila: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!
Izzy: Throw matches at someone who need to get fired up!
Theo: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.
———————————————
Ridley: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
Theo: And here we have a capitalist.
Leila: Did you you just-
Carter: what does all take the moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
———————————————
Izzy: why do you act like we’re three-year-olds?
Theo, exasperated: WHY?!?
Theo pointing at Ridley: YOU HYJACKED A CAR!
Theo pointing at Olly: YOU JUMPED 20 METERS OFF A CARPARK!
Theo pointing at Izzy: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!
Theo: AND YOU ASK ME WHY??????
Some more (generated) incorrect quotes
W/ unhinged Theo, Chaotic Ridley and Golden twins, Concerned Leila and Carter :)
Carter: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out.
Theo: Fucking Olly and the Izzy were trying to invoke one of the minor Gods again last night. I didn’t get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting
—————————————
Ridley: I just got a pet snake, what should I name him?
Leila: A SNAKE!?
Theo: William Snakespeare.
—————————————
Carter: WHY DID YOU GIVE RIDLEY A KNIFE-
Theo: she said she felt unsafe.
Carter: Well I feel unsafe!
Theo: I’m sorry…
Theo: do you want a knife?