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Okay, getting my Asexual-spectrum Batman brainrot in some sort of order, everything is subject to being updated.
This turned out long and rambling, just the way I like it.
My main inspiration for this is a scene from the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, where Bruce and Alfred are discussing how to reintroduce Bruce into Gotham society. It's been awhile since I saw the film but I'm pretty sure Bruce looks at Alfred and is like, "So, what do young billionaires do that would explain vigilante injuries?" And then the scene cuts to Bruce and two foreign models swimming in a fountain at a fancy restaurant. And I'm like.
Fucking. Alfred. Suggested the himbo thing? Was this a passive-aggressive punishment for fucking off for years that went on for too long?
(I love my main man Mr. Pennyworth, I will meme that he's a saint. In reality, I think he's part of the reason the Robins keep having a terrible time passing on the mantle. I can address my grievances in another post tho.)
So I'm there, thinking about Batman and Bruce and growing up in private schools. I'm in the process of unlearning some damaging information that I was taught as "truth" from my own school days. I'm thinking of Butler Alfred, and his position as caretaker, and how he was raised, and what he would think is appropriate counsel.
When Bruce is hitting puberty and writing love poems to the tune of BeeGees songs to girls in class, how would Alfred handle that? He'd surely have a perfunctory talk with his charge about respecting women, how to be a proper gentleman, safe sex, warnings about people who are out for Bruce's heart as a way to get to his status and fortune.
But would Alfred even think to cover queerness? He surely knows of it, but he's from a generation and culture that is known for stoicism and silence. The generation where one might know a pair of "confirmed bachelors" or "spinster sisters", but one does not mention it in polite company. Perhaps he would decide to have that talk if it ever seems to be necessary.
But would Bruce ever think to ask about why he isn't as interested in sex as seemingly all the people around him? Why wouldn't he chalk that up to his massive trauma and call himself mature for it? And a number of girls would love that maturity, that Ice Prince gentility, that challenge. So he'd learn how to be charming, how to flirt. It's applied psychology to Bruce, it's masking, it's learning how to act like a "normal" human.
It's easy for me to see him continue that trend in his adult life. He is romantic and he isn't sex-repulsed; he matches the flirtation energy of someone and if they both want to have sex, they do. It's kind of fun for him, too, to learn someone's body and use his to make them feel so good.
It's just that, sex is just a mutual workout? And he legitimately enjoys doing other things together equally or more, like actual workouts or sparring or casework. Bruce will initiate sex if he picks up his partner's cues, but by the time he's comfortable enough with them to relax... He's just not in clue-finding mode. So partners become understandably annoyed. Upset. They feel like they're the ones putting in all the effort to keep the relationship alive and Bruce doesn't have the knowledge or words to explain his position.
So yeah, there are jokes about Batman being easy, jokes about his history of romantic relationships with rogues, civilians, and heroes alike. He's just doing what he thought was normal. Flirting back, following the other person's lead, matching the energy. It frustrates him when he thinks about it, because it's just another way he's Different and Broken and Missing Something that the rest of the world seems to understand on a basic level.
(To be firm: Bruce Does Not Match the energy of everyone who flirts with him. He is an adult and has his own tastes. He's got Polite Flirting, Interested Flirting, and Gray Rocking down pat.)