Persecutor - Blog Posts

As a semi recovered persecutor, this, I understand and know that my actions have hurt and scarred the people in our system. It's fully understandable for them to hate me, I'm not upset that they are, I've hurt them, or people they care about, you can be mad at someone or hate them without demonizing them for something out of their control, and it's important people remember that

Reminder that while persecutors aren't evil, or bad for the trauma they went through or hold to have resulted in how they act — you're allowed to be upset with them, dislike them, hate them even for the actions they take against you/your system. You are allowed to feel hurt by their actions.

Persecutors shouldn't be shunned or demonised, but that shouldn't remove them from the responsibility for their own actions (if they have control over their actions, some alters don't, but of course even then you can still be upset).

Suffering trauma from within your own system is hard, and you're allowed to be angry, upset, disgusted, whatever you feel about it.

Putting this here in case Forest decides to spy what i have to say again

Do not do any of the stuff i talk about guys

I seriously need endos to fuck the hell off, what i go through daily isn't fun quirky little game you can decide to play, it is a fucking trauma response and i actually have to waste tons of my energy not to cause any more unreversible damage to the other alters. Having other people in your head isn't fucking funny, they're not just "friends you can have inside jokes with". It's tiring. It's debilitating. It's not knowing what will happen when you're not in front. Is having the others getting potentially exposed to danger and being unable to do anything to protect yourself and/or the body. It's others hating you for doing exactly what you were formed to do. The shame, the guilt, the self hate you constantly have to carry around that came after years and years of terrible trauma. It can sometimes be fun but the main point is it's a fucking disorder. I can't stand you guys fucking de-medicalising it so that you can enjoy a fake ass romanticised version of it. I hope my traumas hit you all at once. I hope you split a pre self-consciousness me. I wish all the worst to y'all