Own Work - Blog Posts

hello :) I've been wanting to share this for a while, and figured this would be a good starting place

Lately I'm struggling again, with so many things. But the worst is the inability to regulate feelings.

I am so full of love and sorrow at the same time. I'm drowning in myself. Sometimes the emotions come like a flood in the ocean or in waves. And sometimes it's just a mere drop dripping in my brain, my day. But always drowning. Either in the overflow or in the nothingness.

I know I should be able to get out of this alone. Shouldn't depend on anyone! But could you help me out of this misery and guide me back home?

You're stuck in my mind just like a song but somehow I can't manage to find the words to explain how much I care about you. You're awesome and my brain likes you, a lot. You're cool and funny and I like spending time with you. A week where I don't get to see you doesn't feel right. Seeing you makes life feel a little bit more light. But I don't understand the feelings I have. I simply don't know in what way I've fallen in love with you. Because I've said it before and I'll say it again, loving your friends is a form of falling in love too

Can I come over?

Can you hold me closer?

Can I crawl in your bed?

And lay down my head?

To get some rest,

On your shoulder or chest!

'cause I feel a bit shaky,

but you feel like safety.

My thoughts are in a rush,

and everything feels way too much.

You're my last sense of direction,

so I need (this) platonic affection.

Because my head got too loud,

it's like there's a giant cloud.

I feel the darkness grow,

and I'm feeling low.

You help me feeling okay,

But not in a romantic way.

With you I don't have to mask,

so is it okay if I ask:

Can I come over tonight?

Because I fail to find light.

Love letter to my friends

I wish I could ask you to come over right now.

Wish I could but I don't know how…

I wish I could tell you about

Everytime my head gets too loud.

How you manage to shut up my mind.

How you help me to find

A way to escape those thoughts in my head.

The ones that leave me wanting to be dead.

Without you I can't find the way.

That's why I wish I could ask you to stay.

Wish I could ask you to stay with me tonight

And help me kill the pain I feel inside.

But telling you about it all

Would mean letting down my wall.

Would allow you to see

Even the hidden parts of me.

And honestly, I probably would

If I only knew how I could…

Cause losing loved ones is what I fear most

But I still let you come so close.

And even despite of my fear

You're part of the reason I'm still here…

(Gefühlschaos)

So oft ist das Leben hart

Aber ich mag dich

Auf eine ganz eigene Art

Und deshalb auch etwas mich

Ich hoffe es wird dich nicht stören

Das ich es mag dich anzusehen

Mag dir zuzuhören

Dich zu verstehen

Mag die Worte die dein Mund verlassen

Mag wie du denkst

Kann es kaum fassen

Wenn du mir ein Lächeln schenkst

Das Bittersüße Gefühl dich zu vermissen

Das Stille Chaos in mir

Würd gern alles von dir wissen

Verbringe so gerne Zeit mit dir

Vielleicht werde ich es wagen,

Wer hätte es geahnt,

Dir irgendwann zu sagen

"Ich mag dich (etwas) mehr als geplant"