Original Post - Blog Posts

"No matter what.. you are never alone in this world, I will fight back"

Commission Info

HURT WITH COMFORT

You're Stuck With Me (comfort version)

She was hidden away in her room, crying a river. She tried so hard to be quiet. It was late and she didn't want to disturb anyone's sleep. Then, a knock was heard at the door if her bedroom. She held her breath, hoping they wouldn't hear her and leave, but the door soon opened, with all of her three siblings standing on the other side of it. She tried pretending to be asleep, but they could already hear her. That was fine, though. She didn't have to cry in front of them, or talk to them about it, but they still wanted her to be okay. They shuffled into her room, the second eldest closing the door behind him, and gathered around her bed. Then, the second eldest flopped over her, onto the other side of her bed, and the others followed. Now, with all of them cuddled up onto her bed, they fell asleep.

Tw: Dark themes, murder, angst.

You're Stuck With Me

All three of her younger siblings stared down at her as she bled out on the floor. They weren't sure what to do, and they were scared out of their minds. They couldn't look away. Their aggressively drunk father letting out spiteful, boisterous laughter all the while. She wasn't dead yet, but she might as well be. She can't even move. All of them were in tears. Then, they all collectively dropped to the floor beside her and just sit there. There's a moment of silence. Her eyes close, and after a while, she's gone. Completely dead. The now eldest sibling stands. He walks into the kitchen and grabs the biggest knife he can find. He walks back into the main room, where his siblings all remain and grabs the youngest by her arm, pulling her up to a standing position, and stabs her. Over and over. She screams and cries and tries, desperately, to fight back, but to no ones surprise, she fails. She's only four and a half. What a shame. His younger brother just watched in shock. The horror absolutely evident on his face. Filled with adrenaline, the younger tries to run. He is only able to run for a short time. He's out of breath and cover in tears and sweat. He just gives up. His legs give way under him. He accepts that he's powerless to escape, and before long, he's being stabbed. The constant sting going straight to his head. Finally, with all of his siblings dead, he hesitantly points the blade toward his own throat. He thinks to himself, "𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.".

Tw: Dark themes, su!c!de, angst.

Straight to the Point

At that exact moment, we locked eyes. I stood there for a long minute. We both did. I took my jacket off and tied it around her waist. "Just something to remember me by. " I muttered. I didn't cry, because it felt like it was partly my fault that I didn't know how to save her. She jumped. I just watched.

(I might make a longer version of this with background.)

My life was so unfair

Until I met you, Belle...

Completed

My art

Art work completed

Commission

Completed

I would just like to thank the 5 new bots that started following me /sar

I don't normally do original posts but I must tell someone about this. My mother, who knows vaguely about Tumblr through osmosis, just referred to it as "the conspiracy theory website". When asked to clarify, it's because "they all write stories about stories". "Fanfiction?" I ask. Yeah, apparently. "Mom those aren't conspiracy theories, they're fictional" "So are conspiracy theories!" She would not be dissuaded from this

So apparently fanfictions are conspiracy theories now, just thought yall should know.

@t0tally-n0t-lou for my actual intro post

some of my favorite songs right now for the people.

verneider, souheki, and saimota are currently chewing on my brain.

For those of you who haven't watched Nimona yet, this is all you need to know about the movie

Hallelujah

Is there truly a religion?

I always question myself about my religion.

What do I believe in? At first I thought I was catholic but in reality my relatives practiced the orthodox religion and pushed me to do the same. Then my grandpa believed in the muslim theories and my father too. My mother claimed to be an orthodox. As time passed by, she realised something very strange; all religions believe in one thing: God. And it is true.

My family’s culture in fact is pagan. My hometown’s population was and still is based in paganism. We are patriotic and we believe in our town. We believe that there’s a God but we don’t practice religions. Perhaps, we never had a religion. Conquests influenced our population and culture, imposing a new emphasis of social differences and new words on our language. Our language was and still is un religious. It’s hard to believe I know, but that’s how it is. In our language the only thing we had was “God”.

That’s why I don’t have a faith. Or perhaps, my only faith is my consciousness.

Was it all a way to fool people’s mind from finding out the truth of Earth’s origins and history?

Or was it all true?

I just know that I don’t believe in any religion. I believe in God and myself.

Do I respect other religions and faiths or beliefs? Of course I do. Who am I to neglect their existence? I shall respect but not only, I ought to study them because their historical behaviors amaze our provenience. We are human beings that without religions’ existence we wouldn’t know what we are.

Is there more to know about our existence? Of course there is.

Do they want us to know about them? Of course not. You’d be a fool to believe otherwise.

And why, when I listen to Jeff Buckley’s song, I feel deeply touched? I am uncertain.

Is art somehow connected to religion?

Or is God connected to art?

It’s completely complicated. How can a mere person come and claim to know how to respond to these questions? Are you that much of a fool to think that we are allowed to ask of this thematics?

Nonetheless, I will continue praying at difficult times.

Thunder only comes when it’s raining.

Recap: Katerina Angel Kennedy or “Arrow” is a Texan patriotic girl that loves her few friends and having fun with them during their high school years. She will handle a lot of pain and difficult situations in her life but her friends will always be there for her. We don’t know but maybe some new relationships will start and some old relationships will end.

Tw: #attempt suicide #depressing thoughts #depressive character #toxic friend #heartbroken character #substance use #drug use #weed mention #weed use #reefer character

Part 1

And I screamed.

Her POV:

High school boys just give me the ick. They’re disgusting.

I only have some high school guy friends and they’re kind of different from the others. I have Benny, Don, Slater, Tony, Mike and Kevin. There are other guys in my school but I don’t really talk to them, like I say “hi how are ya” and that’s it.

Benny is my best friend since kindergarten. Our parents are friends and every where I go he is there. I used to have a weird crush on him ( I still don’t get why I liked him in 8th grade but thank god I don’t like him anymore ). But we are really close to each other. I know everything about him, and vice versa.

Don instead is kinda my big brother that I’ve never had. Being an only child, he thought I felt lonely so he always stayed with me. He is sweetly overprotective of me, and it’s obvious that he loves me. Don’t get any idea! This is all platonic and he is an enormous play boy. I don’t know how Shannon likes him. Ew.

Slater is my reefer friend. My bestie. The one who makes me feel comfortable whenever I smoke blunts or weed. Kevin too. Pickford tho is the hottest of the whole world. Like man how can I smoke weed and not confess my love to you-

Tony and Mike are my friends and they are literally the only ones I can have a decent conversation with.

Now getting to the main point. I’m a picky person. If I want to have friends, I study them before having that intimate relationship with them. Instead the girls are a different subject. I talk to all of them. Even if some of them are bitches, I still respect and adore them.

The one who I seriously can’t stand at this school is Pink. He thinks that he can fool every girl in this school or in this town. Fuck off man. Arrogant son of a bitch. (I actually respect his mother very much.)

I hate him because one day he wanted to kiss me. Bro had never talked to me before and one day he thinks he can fucking kiss me? Nahhhhh man you got the wrong girl. I fucking slapped him. And since then we had this mutual hate relationship.

Another person that I “hate” is David Wooderson. He actually isn’t in our school anymore. And he is older than all of us.

He was my first and only true love. He was my first kiss.

We were very close friends. At the beginning I used to get weed from him and from then we just clicked. He would always meet with me, stay with me, smoke with me, go to parties with me, hang out with me and on and onnnnnnn. God damn. He was the best guy I had ever met. He was my true AND ONLY LOVE. But all of a sudden he started acting weird.

Everytime I used to hang out with Benny or Slater, Wood would always get upset. He would say things like “You don’t hang out with me anymore” or would straight up act mad at me. I didn’t know if he was jealous or something. But still, that doesn’t justify his behavior. Yes we had kissed before. As a joke. And yes, I loved him. But he didn’t know this. I’ve always been jealous of the times he hung out with girls. He was a fucking player, god damn he’s still a player. And yet, I never behaved like that. So, one day after I was out with Benny at his house, I go to meet Wood at his place. I knock at his door. He opens it after a long time, and I see him with disheveled hair, no shirt on, and a naked girl behind him. And he says : “Who tf are ya, man?”

I didn’t even respond. I turned around and went away.

That day I had thought of fucking killing myself. I felt so heartbroken and I felt treated like a fucking toy. I got back home. I had cried all the road to my house. Once up to my bed room, I couldn’t fucking breath anymore. He had been treating me like shit for like forever and I had always respected him because he was my friend. I had his my feelings from everyone for three years because I didn’t want to break the relationship I had with him. And he treats me like shit?

I was panicking. I was in shock and so tired of life. I got up and started searching for weed but I didn’t have any. Or i couldn’t find any, I don’t know. But I remember going downstairs to the phone and calling Slater. He answered and I was crying and saying how I so needed weed and I couldn’t find any. He was so worried behind the phone, I could only imagine his confusion.

After not getting any solution to my problem, still crying and panicking I closed the phone.

I got to the kitchen and I was searching for something that even I didn’t know what. I get a knife from a drawer and I don’t know but I think I stabbed myself with it. And I screamed. I cried and I screamed.

I don’t know what happened after that. But I know that when I woke up, in front of me was Slater. He was fucking crying and on the phone. He was saying something but I couldn’t hear anything. I was dazy as shit.

After that day, I was a different person. Slater got closer to me. And he was always worried but I indulged to drugs and weed, getting my mind out of shit.

I started picking the friends I hung out with and the things I did. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore. And David Wooderson was nothing to me.

Only Slater knows what happened between me and Wood. All the others don’t know a thing. Or i think so. Slater might have told to Benny something about it because I noticed how Benny started ignoring Wood and talking about him.

How can a girl go through so much and still be alive? Only God knows it.

Katerina “Arrow” :

Zodiac incense sticks.

I feel unsteady, like my mind.

Rosé wine is sweet with such a pretty color. Every night there's a glass of it on the table accompanying me while I'm taking a bath. I've definitely got everything I need at night. Jeff Buckley's voice soothes me deeply, helping me to relax my body in the warm water. As a matter of fact, when I'm at this time of the day I don't think of anything at all, really. So even now I close my eyes and start dreaming.

My baby boy has come to me, opening up to me and confessing every single problem he has to me.

I'm waiting for him with my arms wide open. He lays his head on my breast and starts silently whimpering.

I just love it when he cries in my arms. I love it when he is vulnerable in front of my eyes, in my presence. Because, it's me he seeks help from. And I am always here to give it to him. What can a woman do when her man comes back home destryoed from the army?

I don't cook for him. In truth, I don't even know how to properly cook. That's a long story for another day.

Without him having gotten in our neighborhood, I just feel his presence. I immediately get out of the hosue and wait for him at my frontyard. I look at his car from afar. I listen to the sound of his car and just that brings shivers to the back of my neck. He sees me waiting for him and impatiently speeds up his pace.

Oh, how much he has changed.

He stops his car in front of me and rapidly gets out of the car. He comes up to me and looks down at me. I study his face and his body. I inhale his musty, masculine perfume. What a bliss that brings into my belly. I instantly got the heebie jeebies.

Looking up at him I notice that he's got tears in his eyes. All my nervousness disappears and I wrap my hands around his body.

I could never get tried of his affection. Or of his beautiful voice. Or of his body. Of anything really.

This is never over.

Thank you for reading this. I'm really grateful of my inspiration that always comes from Jeff Buckley, Jim Morrison, Nirvana or Aerosmith. It is really hard to write sometimes because I've had too many ideas lately and I didn't really have the guts to organze them. But, I tried nonetheless.

hope you enjoyed this!!!!

K.M.

Bang bang

I hit the ground.

He lighted his cigarette and looked at me.

“Ya want sum?” he said to me. I nodded and he leisurely passed it to me.

I sighed as I smoked it. “I’ve never felt like this before.” I said.

“How so?”

“Seasons change you know? I change. I’m not the same. I never thought I’d start smoking cigarettes.”

He looked at me and took the cigarette outta my hand. “What do you mean exactly?”

Staring at the parking lot, I explained: “You know that I did weed and that shit but never nicotine. My father did it all the fucking time. Man was so crazy for it that whenever we’d tell him to quit smoking he would make empty promises. Hated him for that. Lied to us for all his life. And that’s how it brought me to hate nicotine.” looking back at him, I see him already staring at me. “Now, I smoke it once in a while. Should I be ashamed?”

He got a long hit and then answered: “Nah, doll. Look. When I was five, I used to stay at my pops and I knew that he always had a gun somewhere hidden in the house. Every Sunday I’d hear bangs coming from the backyard. In the morning I’d see dry blood in the yard. This went on for three years. None stop. And I never questioned my father’s decisions. But oh, how did I hate him for making them. Guess we all went through sumthin that traumatized us.”

I stared at him and hesitantly asked him “Do you still hear the bangs?”

He sadly smirked and looked up to the sky while responding to me with: “I hear Bang Bang every Sunday night. And I wake up scared to find dried blood in the backyard.”

I curiously asked: “Didn’t you even have the urge to ask him why he did that?”

“Of course I did, doll. I knew I’d get a beating because of it so I shut my mouth, forced my eyes closed and pushed myself to sleep with the bangs.”

I slowly slid to him and hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Wood. Why did you have to go through all that at such a young age?”

“One of us should suffer in this life babe. And God said it was my turn. Gotta accept it doll. Now don’t get sad because of me” He tilted his head down to take a look at me and he saw the tears that were shedding from my eyes. I sadly looked back at him and said: “You’re my baby boy. I love you. With my whole heart.”

“I love you Doll.”

Excuse le rouge.

Red.

All I see is red.

There’s blood everywhere. I should be terrified, but I’m not. It’s not strange to me. This blood means so much to me. It shows how much he cares for me.

They envied me. Provoked me.

I warned them, nicely. They didn’t listen to me. And I smirked.

He loves me. I love him.

That blood shows his devotion to me. And that, arouses me. Excites me.

I don’t want flowers. Neither chocolates.

He gives me what I need.

Protection, devotion, obsession, possession and his body with his heart.

He knows me so well.

I want to give him children. He knows. He grins and pounds harder, deeper.

Now that we’ve come this far, I don’t know how to explain to you the connection we have. The truth is, he makes love to me. Our bodies are united. He knows my body so well. He gives me what I need.

Oh my devoted man. My dream man.

Touch me. Look at me, I’m dripping, creaming, making a mess.

Please.

Je t’aime et je te déteste.

With love, your woman K.

Smol hike in a German forest with @citrusjam7 💚

Forest cabin at night~

I hope you don't think I'm dead yet. As usual, sorry for the incorrect translation and enjoy your reading!

Weeper

When I looked out the window, I was blinded by the rising sun. I see her. She's smiling, weaving a wreath of young willow branches, silly. Who else would choose to weave willow wreaths?

I think she's calling me, waving her hand. I don't want to go out and spoil the fun, but something is starting to worry me. I take another look at her. Her feet. Why are they all muddy? Did she go down to the river?

Stepping out the door, all I could see was a willow tree. The spreading branches of the weeper cast a shadow on the murky water of the river. Where are you, sister? You were here only a moment ago. Where have you gone? Not to the village?

An early morning reddish haze covered the village. No one. Almost no one. By one yellow-roofed house stood an old man and a girl.

- Uncle Zhenya! - I called out to him, coming closer. - Hello. Have you seen Sashenka? She was playing by the willow tree, but she's gone somewhere. Probably playing hide-and-seek.

- By the willow tree, you say? - sighed the old man - The devil is calling you to the willow again, and you're still looking for Sasha. Go back home and go back to sleep

- But how can there be a devil if I've seen my sister?! - Uncle Zhenya grinned bitterly - So what if you have seen her? The willow is fooling you, the blind weeper. Do you want to know the history of this curse again?

- Again? Why "again"? I never asked about it, I never cared. Now you do, since you call my sister a devil. -The old man crossed himself - God be with you, you wretch. Listen to your story!

And the old man began his story:

"About eleven years ago a family came to our village. A family like a family. Father, mother and two children. The girl was five years old, the boy nine. They settled in the house where you live now. But the willow tree was very young then... I should have cut it down back then... It doesn't matter now.

At first they lived as they usually lived here, even better. Quiet, peaceful, friendly to everyone. Especially their youngest daughter - frisky, cheerful. Just an angel. We helped them as much as we could, and they helped us. Only on one of the godparents' evenings the women predicted bad luck to Marina, the mother of the family. It always happens when people are careless about the Conduct. True, in time everyone forgot about the prediction, but, apparently, Marina did not forget her fate......

When did it all start? Oh, on the fourth year after they came to us. The quarrels became almost constant, and why? Grigory, the father of the family, told me that his wife behaves more and more strangely. She is afraid of something and looks at the willow tree. And he gets angry and asks: "What are you hiding from me? What's bothering you?" He swore and swore, but he never found out.

The day began as usual, but there was silence in the house, a rare silence. It was a holiday, people were busy all day. And then their son came up and asked: "What is that willow tree growing on the shore? Has anyone seen my little sister?"

The people replied, "No one has seen your sister," but they were worried. The boy seemed strange to them. They asked him where his father was and where his mother was. He replied that his father had gone to a neighbouring village to get presents, and he had not seen his mother, only his sister. They went to look round the house - there was no one there.

And then Grigory appeared. What a fuss!

It turned out that Marinka completely lost her mind and threw herself and her daughter into the river. From the very place where the willow tree grew. They didn't even bury them, because that's a terrible sin! Time passed, the father died, and the son.....

But what is there to say about him?"

Grandpa finished his story. The guy standing in front of us turned pale and walked away.

- Grandpa, Grandpa, tell me, is the story true? And what happened to the son? - Wrapping my arms around the hand of a dear man begged me. Grandpa shook his head. - There is no fiction in the story, because the son was standing in front of you. So he did not accept the death of his sister, Sashenka. God knows he knew what the women had predicted to Marinka....

- What did they predict, Grandpa?

- That she and her son would drown by carelessness. And Marinka decided to give her daughter to Providence instead of her son. The girl was terribly ill anyway. I don't think she'd have lived to be your age. But you can't cheat fate.

Can't post much at the moment. Here's an excerpt from a short story. I apologise in advance for the incorrect translation

"About eleven years ago a family came to our village. A family like a family. Father, mother and two children. The girl was five years old, the boy nine. They settled in the house where you live now. But the willow tree was very young then... I should have cut it down back then... It doesn't matter now.

And the old man began his story:

At first they lived as they usually lived here, even better. Quiet, peaceful, friendly to everyone. Especially their youngest daughter - frisky, cheerful. Just an angel. We helped them as much as we could, and they helped us. Only on one of the godparents' evenings the women predicted bad luck to Marina, the mother of the family. It always happens when people are careless about the Conduct. True, in time everyone forgot about the prediction, but, apparently, Marina did not forget her fate......

When did it all start? Oh, on the fourth year after they came to us. The quarrels became almost constant, and why? Grigory, the father of the family, told me that his wife behaves more and more strangely. She is afraid of something and looks at the willow tree. And he gets angry and asks: "What are you hiding from me? What's bothering you?" He swore and swore, but he never found out.

The day began as usual, but there was silence in the house, a rare silence. It was a holiday, people were busy all day. And then their son came up and asked: "What is that willow tree growing on the shore? Has anyone seen my little sister?"

The people replied, "No one has seen your sister," but they were worried. The boy seemed strange to them. They asked him where his father was and where his mother was. He replied that his father had gone to a neighbouring village to get presents, and he had not seen his mother, only his sister. They went to look round the house - there was no one there.

And then Grigory appeared. What a fuss!

It turned out that Marinka completely lost her mind and threw herself and her daughter into the river. From the very place where the willow tree grew. They didn't even bury them, because that's a terrible sin! Time passed, the father died, and the son.....

But what is there to say about him?"

Old man yaoi lovers, please go watch Disenchantment, because there isn't nearly enough fanart for these two. And they're actually old men, god damn it, not just 35 year olds that some 20 year olds looked at and decided were old.

last-minute adoption

openly gay

pretty straightforward with his feeling

always speaks his mind

confident

practical

can be charming

dominant 😳😏

likes to watch Felix draw - he says it's calming

fluffy hair

not the best student, but really tries to improve

best boi 🙏

closeted pansexual

since he was eleven years old, his parents work a lot. they are mostly out on delegations - they are only home for weekends (not even every week). they own a big company

when he was younger, his grandma would take care of him on the weekdays. She'd also take him to the local church every Friday - that's where he met Jenna

he's Jenna's best friend and Zoe's ex boyfriend (they are still friends tho)

kind of a loser

school outcast, but chill with it

super awkward

his parents decided to adopt another teenager so he's less lonely

owns ten cactuses

last one for now

will do anything to annoy her religious step-dad.

"gosh, my mom is too nice for this jerk".

can actually flirt with girls.

sport enthusiast.

butch.

can't cook for shit.

popular.

horny on main.

pretentional music taste.

would dress grunge if it was a bit more comfy.

even more info cause I'm a big softie for character design

Ann's parents passed away when she was four. she doesn't remember them at all.

since then, she lives with her aunt Lisa (her dad's youngest sister).

Lisa was only 21 when she adopted Ann.

they lived in a very small town until Ann was 17, because they didn't have funds to move out.

Ann was bullied for her sexuality. she came put at the age of 12, when she liked her classmate.

she was threaten/beaten up several times.

since they were around 14, other kids would call her "a slut who can't find a boy so she seduces girls".

Ann is depressed and sees her therapist egery month. she also takes meds.

Zoe and Jenna had a crush on her the second they saw her, but started talking to her after several weeks, when Ann got in an argument with a guy who tried to ask her out and got verbally abusive after rejection.