Your Curated Tumblr Experience Awaits!
Idolize - Blog Posts
Rainy Day
As the rain dropped from the sky in the quiet neighborhood, someone was not so quietly cursing themselves out. “Shit! I’m going to be late. My mom’s gonna kill me!” Running like a mad man down the street to her bus stop, cause only idiots run in the rain. To spare herself of the incoming incident she could have just walked. Or I dare say, get in trouble and have her phone taken away for the night. But no, she decided to test fate, as always, and risk running in the rain.
She would regret this decision
“Shouldn’t have stayed up all night watching YouTube. Just because there is like 10 MHA abridged’s, doesn’t mean you have to watch all 10 of them plus movies… I really don’t want my phone taken away.”
It was as if god(s), if any, heard her unserious plea. Because gosh be darned, she done this stick for 3 years now.
HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS THE FIRST TIME SHE TRIPPED!!! LIKE WAS THIS DIVINE LUCK OR WAS THE WORLD FUCKING WITH HER!!
Sticking the landing straight one her ass, letting her clothes get soaked to death, she sat there, stunned. As she was reeling from what one could call divine fuckery or karma, her day was about to get a whole lot worse.
Headlights dawned on her figure as she turned around. She couldn’t move, she was going to get hit. The bus couldn’t see her through the heavy rain and neither could her bus mates waiting not even a few steps away. She couldn’t move. She should be moving, she ain’t no horror movie cliche, she should be able to move. But it’s as if her whole body just gave in, like she wanted this. All she could think was of the end. That she would die to a school bus.
‘This is it. This is what kills me. Fucking school. I at least thought it was going to be me, or my mom, or hell, even a fiery blaze. Not a fucking school bus. I’m going to die. I never got to go to a convention by myself. I’ll never finish those fics I wanted to. I’ll never have a graduation or become 18 or vote or lose my virginity. Actually I can live without that last one. Oh my god, I never got to see my old friends, or finish SAO abridged… yeah the first one seemed more important. But what about my parents, my sister, my best friend? I just started caring about my life, I was going to live all my cliche high school dreams. I JUST turned 17, and that birthday sucked! What kinda bullshit is this! I don’t want this! I hate this! I was going to do so much! And now I can’t. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my life! If I’m gonna die I don’t want it to be to a school bus. It’s going to hurt like hell. And no one is gonna to benefit from it! THEY CANT EVEN SEE ME! What a waste! At least let me end it myself. I’m never going to see those around me grow up, I am never going to grow up. And screw heaven, I’m not even guaranteed that fake luxury. I’m never going to finish my favorite mangas. Or games. Or animes. Or anything.’
As the pain of getting hit by a 1,000 pound bus did, in fact, hurt like hell.
Crawling with her last ounce of strength reaching for the broken phone, she typed or tried to type her last words.
‘God, Buddha, Zeus, Cthulhu, Mother Nature, or who ever the hell is upstairs, if any, please at least let thi s se nd. A nd h o w d o e s B l ue L o c k
e n
d
.
.
.
.
.
Starting system…
Finding host..
System host found.
Welcome Host!
To the Female Lead System!
Do you want to join?
Yes No
.
.
.
Choosing for Host…
Yes
Heavily inspired by: Cheating Men Must Die
You could never see her
And yet you want to be her
With how she sings on that stage
It's like she's putting put up a charade
Her mystic visage
Is it just a mirage
Her beautiful age
Is it all for stage
Do you think all that pain
Is worth the rage
Or are you as blind
As her and I
To the tears that fall from her eyes
Is it worth those 15 minutes
Or is just another gold ticket
I implore you to stick around
And find out how this canary
Got caged and got out
All we know of this story
And the marionette of this quarry
Listen well and listen wide
As I tell you the story of
Starlight Hyde
People running in different directions.
Instructions being shouted in all directions.
And in the middle was a gaggle of girls and their manager, standing in one location.
Even with all the hustle and bustle you could still hear what he said clearly,
As if he wanted the whole world to know.
"Look at you girls, you’ve grown so much. Starlight's new single hit number one on the charts. CANDYS ‘album has hit the top 100. And not to mention being the guest appearance on that popular afternoon Tv show. Aren’t we glad that the host was a fan of Starlight’s. You guys have another concert tomorrow to celebrate your 2nd year anniversary and it the dress rehearsal looked great today. Good job Starlight… and girls. A toast is in order, you all did great."
He walked them to their changing room.
Then as the man exited the scene, all but one huddled together.
They had locked her out, like always.
She was excluded.
She sat outside their circle, as they gossiped and grimaced in front of her face.
As if they didn’t care.
As if she didn’t exist.
"Honestly it sounded like he just wanted to congratulate Starlight. He doesn't care about the rest of us."
"Hmm."
"True."
“Her new single did get number one. Maybe that’s why.”
“But he always talks about her. What’s so special about her?”
“I know right? She’s not even that cute.”
“And she’s so dull. Why doesn’t he pay attention to me?”
“Or at least anyone but her.”
“She’s just a hog.”
"She’s so mean."
"What's the point?"
There was a long silence in the room. The sound of ice clicking together in the cup was heard by all.
"Maybe we should just graduate already."
There was a shift in the table as someone jumped up. Knocking into the table.
"No! You can't. I need you guys. The company needs you guys."
"No, you don't. In fact, nobody needs us. Our manager does not care. I don’t think the fans even care.”
A pensive face appeared on her. She just couldn't understand. Why would they say that. That's not true! Even if she knew deep down that it was true, she couldn't accept that. They can't leave.
"That's not true, he does! He mentioned the album and it raising in the ranks. He wouldn't have if he didn't care. And the fans would riot if you guys suddenly disappeared.”
"Oh come on Starlight. The fans don’t care. And he obviously did it to not sound bias. We all heard him raving about your up-and-coming single. And it's no wonder he did, you know how much money the company makes off you. You are all he cares about, we're just collateral."
"That's not true! He's proud of you, of us. We did great in that album and poured our hearts and souls into it. He knows it. This is a huge accomplishment for the group, for us. We'll be world-renowned in no time. And he knows that. It's not just me, it's all of u-"
"SHUT UP. He doesn't give a fuck about the rest of us. The only thing he liked from the album was your solos. I heard him say it to the other managers. 'Starlight was so good. The rest suck though, but at least they make Starlight look better blah blah blah.' He couldn't care less. After all, you the company's golden goose, this group was made around you. All the interns practically worship the ground you walk on. Managers, fight for you. Executives, “whatever you want”. PR team, it doesn't matter. News reporters, you can do no wrong. Gossip mags, she's the greatest. Fans, we'd DIE for you. Hell, even other celebrities LOVE you. He doesn't care about us, they don't care about us. It wouldn't matter if we all quit, as long as you're here nobody would bat an eye. They would just hire our replacements or something off the bat. I bet the only reason we still have our jobs is because of you. Well, am I right?"
"..."
You couldn't lie. It was true. They had almost been terminated a couple of times. But you fought for them every time. You wonder if the cared or were insulted. After all it's not like they liked you.
"I fucking knew it. He doesn't care because he has you. What's the point in being a part of this group if I'm always going to play second fiddle to the same pompous, immature brat."
*BANG*
Your manager had returned awhile ago. Listening the whole time. Biting his tongue or more of peacefully observing, watching what you'd say. It's only when he felt like they had gone far enough, did he say something. His calm demeanor turned cold in seconds, slamming both hands on the table rattling the drinks on it.
"CAMI! Be nicer to Starlight! Or else I'll have you terminated."
"See, I told you. Let's go girls."
And with that they left.
Alone.
Without her.
She was alone, so alone.
Even as her manager slowly wrapped his arms around her in comfort, she felt so alone.
More alone than ever before.
They hate me
Maybe... I should just go
Maybe... I should just leave
Escape to where no one can find me...
Because I'm tired...
I'm tired of this.
The saddest tune is sung by thee
Will no one answer her plee
I don’t own and of the dividers