Hurt No Comfort - Blog Posts

No Justification for a Life Lived Without Passion

It all seemed so sudden.

Midoriya had been trying to pick up the pieces of his life after the war. After losing his quirk, he’d been trying to find his place in UA. Midoriya was so focused on trying to find himself again, he failed to see what was forming between his classmates.

Class 2-A was nearing the end of the school year when it came out that Todoroki and Bakugo had begun dating. Midoriya, who had loved Bakugo since childhood, was devastated.

Uraraka seemed worried for Midoriya because she was the only one aware of Midoriya’s crush on Bakugo. Rather than congratulating the new couple, Uraraka quickly rushed Midoriya off to her room.

“How could I have not seen it?” cried Midoriya, tightly squeezing Uraraka’s pillow.

Uraraka let out a shallow breath. “I knew they were getting closer, but I didn’t think they’d be getting closer romantically.”

Midoriya tried his best to speak, but sobs came out instead. Uraraka gently rubbed Midoriya’s back, pity in her eyes.

“It’s all my fault. If I wasn’t so worthless Kacchan would have noticed me,” wept Midoriya, his back hunching forward as he began hyperventilating.

“Never say that again. You are the greatest hero that’s ever existed. You are beautiful. You’ve done an amazing job despite the shit thrown your way. Never amount your worth to a boy’s attention,” lectured Uraraka, cupping Midoriya's face and shooting Midoriya a warning stare.

Midoriya wilted a bit, his lips wobbling. “I’m a horrible friend.”

Uraraka’s frown deepened, her concern getting worse. “Why would you ever say that? You’re an amazing friend. I couldn’t imagine anyone filling the space you have in my heart.”

“I should be happy for them. I should be down in the common room congratulating them. I should be laughing and doing something dumb with you, not crying in your room about heartbreak. I’ve been a crappy friend since the war,” revealed Midoriya, staring up at the ceiling.

Uraraka crashed beside Midoriya, grabbing his hand gently. “I’d rather be here to support you at your low points like you always did for me. While I hate to see you upset, I’m happy I can be here for you. There’s always another day to do something stupid and fun.”

Midoriya remained quiet for a bit, taking deep breaths as he gathered his thoughts. “I want to get away from here.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” asked Uraraka, curious as to what Midoriya was thinking.

“I want to see the world, maybe transfer schools. I don’t want to be some hero sidekick. I think that would hurt more than not being a hero at all,” confessed Midoriya, finally opening up about the thoughts he’s had since the war ended.

Uraraka sat up, looking down at Midoriya. “Really? You want to leave?”

Midoriya sat up, quickly grabbing tissues to wipe his runny nose. “Honestly… yeah. I just don’t feel like this is the place for me anymore. I feel isolated and trapped. I’m only here because of you all.”

“I don’t want you to leave, but I understand why you want to. Sometimes it’s hard to be here without all the reminders of the past. We used to be so youthful and happy,” reminisced Uraraka, recalling how innocent it all used to be.

“Now everything is so… so ugly,” commented Midoriya, picking at one of his dozens of scars.

Uraraka hesitated a bit before responding, “Yeah. I don’t know if you feel the same, but it also seems empty.”

“Mhm. Maybe it makes me childish, but I think Kacchan and Shoto getting together was my final straw,” mumbled Midoriya.

“Whatever you decide, just know I will support you and be there with you through every step,” reassured Uraraka, grabbing a tissue and blowing her nose.

The rest of class 2-A were shocked by the sudden news of a relationship. Kirishima was beyond confused. He had thought that Bakugo and Midoriya were in a secret relationship. There was this oddly electric tension between the duo.

Iida was supportive of Todoroki and Bakugo’s relationship, but he was extremely concerned for Midoriya. It was clear he didn’t take the news well and Uraraka was quick to drag him off. It was clear there was something he didn’t know.

Kaminari and Jiro were supportive, cheering on Bakugo for making a move. Many students decided to confess their love after the war, worried about the possibility of never being able to get the chance to. Kaminari and Jiro were one of the couples and they were going strong.

Many others in the class were surprised and happy. It was always fun to have a new couple to tease and pick on.

When Todoroki and Bakugo decided to tell the class that they were dating, they were the most excited to see Midoriya’s reaction. They couldn’t wait to see his shocked expression and hear his happy analysis mumbling which was rare since the war.

They did not get the reaction they expected. Midoriya’s eyes widened in shock, but a smile didn’t accompany it. His pained expression came as fast as it left, but both Todoroki and Bakugo saw the hurt in his face.

Midoriya was quick to cover up whatever he was truly feeling and offer a smile. Except his smile was nothing in comparison to the blinding, toothy smile we wore day in and day out when they were first years. 

Before they could reach out to him or even look to one another to make sure the other saw his reaction too, Uraraka made a move. Uraraka wasn’t smiling as she snuck her hand into Midoriya’s and guided him away.

Midoriya didn’t put up a fight and mindlessly followed. They watched as Kirishima turned to ask Midoriya and Uraraka what was up, but quickly shut his mouth after seeing something.

Kirishima shot Uraraka a thumbs up with a sympathetic frown and Uraraka nodded her head in response.

Todoroki and Bakugo quickly felt concern bubble to the surface. The first thing that came to mind was that something was going on with Midoriya that they weren’t aware of. The second thought they both shared was that something was going on with Midoriya that they should have been aware of and completely forgotten.

“We’ll talk to Izuku later,” whispered Bakugo, resting a hand on Todoroki’s shoulder.

Todoroki nodded, raising a hand to rest on top of Bakugo’s. “Okay, good. I’m worried.”

Midoriya spent a lot of time with Toshinori after the war. When all of class 2-A tried avoiding Midoriya to avoid their feelings, Toshinori was the one Midoriya could open up to.

The mentor-student, father-son duo bonded deeply over the loss of One for All. Toshinori was nearing the end of his mental recovery and Midoriya was in the beginning of his. They lost it within a year of each other so they could bond over something they miss. They could bond over being quirkless, gaining a quirk, and being quirkless again.

After Midoriya could maintain his composure for longer than five minutes, Uraraka suggested that Midoriya talks to All Might. “I think All Might would be a great person to talk to about wanting to get away. Maybe he could offer some advice or wisdom,” offered Uraraka, flashing a gentle smile.

“You’re right. I’ll go talk to him now,” agreed Midoriya, feeling a lot better with Uraraka guiding him in the right direction. Right now, he needed someone he admired and someone who would want the best for him.

Uraraka rose from her bed and tightly hugged Midoriya. “I just want you to know… no matter what you decide to do, I’ll always want you to be a part of my life. You are the best friend I could have asked for and I don’t plan on letting you escape our friendship.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” laughed Midoriya, carefully hugging Uraraka.

Midoriya stood by the elevator and called Toshinori. “All Might.”

“Young Midoriya!” cheered Toshinori from the other side of the phone.

“Can we talk?” asked Midoriya shyly, suddenly feeling nervous that Toshinori might reject.

“Of course. Is something wrong?” inquired Toshinori, concern laced in his tone.

Midoriya panicked, not wanting to worry Toshinori. “Not necessarily! It’s just I have a lot on my mind, and I wanted to talk about it with you.”

“Well, perfect you called me now! I’m going on my afternoon stroll. I can meet you in front of the 2-A alliance and you can join me,” invited Toshinori, practically beaming where he was standing.

“Okay, I’ll be down quickly.”

“See you soon, Young Midoriya.”

“See you, All Might.”

Midoriya quickly took the elevator down to the ground floor and quickly made a beeline for the entrance. Most of class 2-A was still down in the common room and watched Midoriya make his way out.

Kirishima jumped up from his seat and rushed over. “Hey Midoriya!”

Midoriya quickly turned to face Kirishima with a kind smile. “Hi Kirishima, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” revealed Kirishima, lowering his voice to keep people from hearing.

Midoriya couldn’t stop the surprise from showing on his face. “Oh, uh,” stammered Midoriya before taking a deep breath and smiling. “I’m okay. I just needed a moment. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Kirishima shook his head with a toothy smile. “Nonsense! You have nothing to apologize for! But seriously… I thought you are Bakugo were dating and just hiding it from everyone.”

“Well, I can’t lie… I thought Kacchan felt the same way. Guess I was naive and too blind to notice the truth,” chuckled Midoriya bitterly.

“If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’m here for you. I actually wanted to ask you to go to a hero convention with me. I bought two tickets, but Kaminari ditched me at the last minute,” wined Kirishima, throwing his head back dramatically.

Midoriya clapped his hands together, excited that hero conventions were still happening. He hadn’t had the time to think about silly things like that in a while. “I’d love to go with you!”

Kirishima perked up, beyond relieved. “Really? Great! I’ll text you the details later. Anyways, where are you going?”

“Oh— crap! I am going to have a talk with All Might! Sorry! I really must go! He’s probably waiting on me!” rambled Midoriya, backing away quickly to the doorway.

“It’s alright man! See you later!”

Midoriya threw on his shoes and ran out. Most of the class had heard the part that Midoriya was going to talk with All Might. His panic was loud enough for everyone to eavesdrop. Looking out the window, they watched as Midoriya approached All Might who was standing by the bottom of the stairs.

Toshinori naturally opened his arms and Midoriya quickly rushed into the embrace. After a quick, but tight hug, Toshinori appeared to ask Midoriya a question. Whatever Midoriya said stunned Toshinori, but Toshinori didn’t appear to be completely surprised by whatever was said.

“So, what did you want to talk about, Young Midoriya?”

“I think I want to move away from here,” confessed Midoriya, a bit worried about Toshinori’s response.

Toshinori took a moment to compose himself and respond, but he smiled. “That’s understandable. May I ask why?”

“I don’t think I want to become a hero just to be a sidekick. That may make me a selfish person, but I don’t think I can mentally handle being so close yet so far from my dream,” explained Midoriya, beginning to walk.

“That doesn’t make you selfish. I understand why you’d rather just scrap it all than be a sidekick. What would you rather do than be a hero? Have you thought of that?” questioned Toshinori, wanting to make sure Midoriya had mapped out his plan thoughtfully.

Midoriya nodded, looking up at the sky. “Yes… I was thinking about going to the US and becoming a support item developer with Melissa Shield. Since we are both quirkless and interested in heroes, it would be cool to work together.”

Toshinori perked up at that. He was very fond of Melissa despite the betrayal of her father, David Shield, who had been his sidekick. “That’s a great idea. I’m sure you’d easily be able to transfer to a school in the States. I’d even accompany you since I’m familiar with California.”

“Really? You don’t think I’d be making a mistake?” questioned Midoriya, feeling a bit uneasy.

“If leaving Japan for a couple of years would make you happier and allow you to try something new that would bring joy to your life, I don’t think you’d be making a mistake,” rationalized Toshinori, providing Midoriya with a new outlook on leaving UA High.

Midoriya smiled, feeling a bit relieved. “Yeah. I think I’ll finish this school year and transfer over for my third year.”

Toshinori grinned, holding a thumbs up. “You could even do a student exchange program. You could remain a hero student and try out different things.”

“Yeah… I’ll talk to Aizawa and Nezu about it. I think leaving for a bit would be for the best. I was already on the fence, but today pushed me over the edge,” sighed Midoriya, looking down at his scarred hands.

“What happened?” questioned Toshinori worriedly.

Midoriya’s face glowed a bright red as he realized he’d never really talked about his love life before. “Well, it’s a bit embarrassing to say out loud but, I like Kacchan… romantically.”

“Ah, I figured something more was going on between you too,” chuckled Toshinori, happy to hear Midoriya wasn’t afraid to love.

“Kacchan… is dating Todoroki,” whispered Midoriya, feeling his throat tighten from having to say it out loud. The wound was still too fresh.

Toshinori stopped walking, feeling his heart break as he watched Midoriya crumble before him. “Oh, my boy, I’m so sorry.”

Midoriya didn’t fight it when Toshinori wrapped him up in his arms and gently rubbed his back. Midoriya rather melted into the touch as he began to cry again. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, you're far from it,” argued Toshinori, refusing to let Midoriya talk badly about himself.

“I should have confessed when I had the chance. I should have noticed that Kacchan had his eyes on someone else. I was just delusional,” cried Midoriya, tightly squeezing Toshinori’s shirt.

Toshinori frowned as Midoriya cried into his chest. He hated to see Midoriya cry. Watching your kid experience his first heartbreak was devastating. There was nothing you could do to help.

Toshinori took a deep breath before pulling back. “I may not know what it’s like to fall in love with my best friend and they fall in love with another. But I do know what it’s like to never confess and regret it later. As the number one hero, I was never able to keep a long-term relationship. Whether it was out of my control, or I was scared.”

“Really?”

“Really. So never feel bad for not confessing but take it as a lesson. Many people experience what you are going through. Take this moment and never hesitate when it comes to love,” encouraged Toshinori, offering Midoriya a heroic smile as he wiped away Midoriya’s tears.

The rest of their walk was peaceful. The sun was shining brightly, and the air was warm. Midoriya cherished moments like these. The war seemed like a faint memory when the world was so beautiful, and he was spending his time beside the man he grew up admiring.

Uraraka and Midoriya agreed to meet after dinner to talk. It just so happened that Todoroki and Bakugo chose that time to approach Midoriya to check up on him.

“I’m really worried about Midoriya,” sighed Todoroki, wishing the elevator would move faster despite Midoriya’s dorm only being on the second floor.

“I’m sure Izuku’s fine. We are probably being paranoid,” guessed Bakugo, going against his better judgment.

By the time they reached Midoriya’s floor, they could faintly hear him talking. The couple paused, carefully inching closer to Midoriya’s dorm room door. They could hear Uraraka's voice as well.

Todoroki and Bakugo exchanged a wary glance. They thought Uraraka and Midoriya had already talked today. They were curious when Uraraka and Midoriya got close again considering the two had distanced themselves after the war.

“See, I told you he’d be the best person for you to talk to!” gloated Uraraka for being right.

“Yeah, he was supportive of my plans and ideas,” noted Midoriya, his voice upbeat.

The shifting of sheets could be heard from inside the room before Uraraka asked, “What is your plan? I don’t think you ever told me exactly what your ideas were.”

Todoroki and Bakugo were equally lost. Midoriya hadn't mentioned plans or ideas recently. The last serious conversation Midoriya had with either of them was about how his training was going. Even then, he didn’t have much to say.

Neither Todoroki nor Bakugo realized how little they knew about Midoriya anymore.

Midoriya was quick to respond to Uraraka. “I was planning on moving to the United States. Specifically, California to work with Melissa Shield. Since we are both quirkless, it would be nice to work with her.”

Bakugo felt his heart momentarily stop, horrified to hear Midoriya wanted to leave. After the last time Midoriya left UA, he’d never heard Midoriya entertain the thought of leaving again. It would be an understatement to say Bakugo didn’t want Midoriya to leave. He dreaded the mere thought of not seeing Midoriya each day. He couldn’t imagine not being able to see Midoriya smile and hear him say Kacchan.

Todoroki felt sick, unable to imagine not having Midoriya at arm’s reach. After having Midoriya there at every stage of his life, he didn’t want to lose someone so important. Still, Midoriya has been nothing but supportive to him, so he wanted to return the same support.

“That’s actually a really good idea! Are you planning on continuing your hero education or are you going to change your goal?” questioned Uraraka with excitement in her voice.

“All Might said he'd set me up with a foreign exchange student program if I wanted. That way I could get the best of both worlds. Still, I think I may just go into support gear with Melissa,” answered Midoriya, still leaning more toward giving up on being a hero.

It was quiet for a bit. Todoroki and Bakugo remained frozen in place, waiting for Midoriya and Uraraka to finish their conversation before fully panicking.

“You sure you don’t want to be my sidekick? We’d be one hell of a team,” teased Uraraka, even though there was a trace of sorrow in her voice.

“No… I wouldn’t even want to be Kacchan's sidekick,” opposed Midoriya quickly.

“Damn. Is that just because you don’t want to be a sidekick that bad or is it because of your unreciprocated feelings?” interrogated Uraraka, struggling to make light of the entire situation.

Bakugo felt his entire world stop. Izuku Midoriya had a crush on him. Midoriya, his childhood friend, loved him. Deku, the boy he fought next to during a war, wanted to be with him. Midoriya liked him the entire time.

Todoroki on the other hand felt incredible guilt. While it wasn’t his fault and Bakugo had been the one to ask him out, he couldn’t help but feel like he stole Bakugo from Midoriya. He couldn’t help but feel like he was inconsiderate of Midoriya’s feelings. If he had known Midoriya liked Bakugo, he would have never accepted the confession.

“A mixture of both. It may sound stupid but after the war… I fought with my mother so hard to let me stay here. At that point in time, you all were ignoring me. Kacchan was all I had, and I didn’t even know how to talk to him… but I stayed because of him. Now that he’s with Todoroki, I don’t have anything to stay for. They have each other now,” lamented Midoriya, feeling a bit empty now that he was saying it out loud.

“It’s not stupid. It makes a lot of sense. Besides, an upside to you going to the United States for a bit is you’ll have the opportunity to move on,” offered Uraraka, feeling bad for Midoriya.

Midoriya seemed a bit happy as he announced, “All Might said he’d even go with me! Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

Uraraka gasped, clapping her hands. “That would be perfect! I think having him around would be good for you. Since you’ll be experiencing a lot of changes by moving.”

“I’m a bit nervous to move because of that. Making new friends while learning a new language and picking up a new career goal is a lot,” sighed Midoriya loudly.

“You’ll have no problem making friends!” refuted Uraraka, offended Midoriya was nervous about having to make new friends.

Midoriya was quiet in response. Bakugo and Todoroki shared a concerned glance. Uraraka's voice greeted them first. “Deku? What’s wrong?”

“What if they think I’m worthless or ugly? I’m covered head to toe in scars, my hair is uneven, I’m quirkless, I’ll be the UA High dropout,” listed Midoriya, not bothering to downplay his concerns.

“Listen to me very carefully. I said this earlier, but I think you need the reminder. You became the greatest hero to ever exist. Those scars are reminders of the blood, sweat, and tears you sacrificed for the safety of others. Your hair will finish growing out by the time fall comes around.”

Midoriya opened his mouth only for Uraraka to shush him violently. “Silence! You won’t be known as a UA dropout. You fought in a war that many pro heroes didn’t survive. Everyone will be super excited to be in a class with you! Besides, who cares if you’re quirkless? You could probably lift this entire building with your pinky.”

Midoriya couldn’t help but laugh at that last comment. “I guess you’re right. Still, I just don’t think I’ll ever be the same. I don’t want to give up on being a hero, but the world is unfair.”

“Why don’t you take up Toshinori’s offer? Be a foreign exchange student in the hero program. Work with Melissa and have her develop support gear for you. You can still be a powerful hero! You still have all your combat knowledge under your belt,” suggested Uraraka, trying to motivate Midoriya to not give up on his dreams.

“I’ll talk to Aizawa about it. I’m not even sure if I’ll end up moving to America. I just think I’d be a lot happier if I got away from this place,” admitted Midoriya.

Bakugo and Todoroki rose to their feet and tried to gather their thoughts. Todoroki whispered to Bakugo. “What if we pretend to get off the elevator? That way he won’t know we overheard.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” agreed Bakugo, sneaking into the elevator before closing and opening the door.

The duo was talking at a normal volume and immediately noticed Uraraka and Midoriya stopped talking.

Bakugo knocked on the door, trying to remain calm. “Izuku? It’s me and Todoroki. Can we come in?”

“Yeah, Uraraka is here too,” answered Midoriya calmly.

Bakugo opened the door and walked in. Todoroki followed close behind, stopping to slowly close the door. The first thing both noticed was that Midoriya’s room lacked its usual amount of All Might merchandise.

Bakugo nodded at Uraraka before confronting Midoriya. “What’s going on Izuku? You’ve been off today.”

“It’s just been a weird day,” answered Midoriya shortly, not even sure how to speak to Bakugo anymore.

Todoroki frowned, sitting in Midoriya’s desk chair. “Are you sure that’s it? You seemed off this morning and even seemed a bit off when talking to Kirishima.”

Uraraka turned to Midoriya, curious. “You talked to Kirishima earlier?”

“Yeah, Kirishima approached me earlier. He just invited me to a hero convention. I was super excited and agreed to go, but I guess I just started thinking about how different everything is now and how I haven’t had time to go to one,” rambled Midoriya, quickly coming up with an excuse.

Todoroki nodded, knowing that wasn’t the truth, but took it. “Oh, that makes sense.”

Bakugo narrowed his eyes, wanting Midoriya to be honest. “What about this morning? You were acting strange. Pink Cheeks here dragged you off.”

“It was a rough morning, that’s all. I’m fine,” dismissed Midoriya, not planning on telling Bakugo or Todoroki anything.

“Okay, as long as you’re okay. I was worried,” replied Todoroki, not wanting Midoriya to withdraw any further.

The rest of the talk was bland and awkward. Midoriya, Todoroki, and Bakugo were aware of how broken their friendship was, but there was no easy way of mending it. The war changed each of them so much and they never took the time to talk about everything that happened. They seemed to dodge the touchy subjects and handle them on their own.

Bakugo had to deal with the trauma of dying on the battlefield and the effort it took to rehabilitate his arm and strengthen his heart while also being careful. Todoroki was busy dealing with mending his broken family and the physical recovery of each person. Toya was the worst and Enji was in close second. Still, Todoroki didn’t have any desire to open up about what was going on or how he was feeling about the situation.

Midoriya was dealing with something else entirely. Midoriya was still trying to recover from the events that occurred early in the year. The large number of near-death encounters he had provided his nightmares with unlimited fuel. The backlash from countless civilians in the fallout of the first war made him scared to show his face in public. Seeing all his friends and idols injured and fatally wounded on the battleground was horrifying and those moments would forever be imprinted in his mind. Those were just some of the things Midoriya had to deal with. He also had things like losing both of his arms, feeling like he failed to save Tenko, missing the past users of One for All, and being quirkless again.

There was so much Midoriya held inside and struggled to cope with. Midoriya knew his friends needed just as much help as he did, but he never truly bounced back after initially feeling ignored. It was very similar to the isolation he felt when he was young and quirkless.

Bakugo and Todoroki never reached out and Midoriya was too depressed to put energy into maintaining relationships. Now Bakugo and Todoroki were happily dating and finally seeing just how badly they failed Midoriya.

Midoriya completed his second year at U.A. High before quickly leaving for America. Toshinori and Inko followed closely behind, ready to give Izuku the future he deserved. Class 2-A, now 3-A missed Midoriya's presence, realizing too late just how much he needed their attention and support. They had to watch Midoriya mentally and physically recover through news articles, reports, and social media posts.

Todoroki, Bakugo, and Uraraka never told anyone the reason why Midoriya left Japan and U.A. High. Even though Todoroki and Bakugo broke up shortly after five months of being together, they’d forever remember they were the final nudge Midoriya needed to leave.

Oneshot -Perhaps in another life. In another time

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

TW: mental health problems, suicide, struggling reader, struggling dazai, character death, reader death, angst, no comfort

A/N: I saw this post and felt compelled to write because mood, I honestly feel the same, so uh, this is for you, @r3stingangel

You had met Dazai at a quant cafe below where he worked. You had found your gaze drawn to him. Something about him stood out.

Familiar.

He had caught you staring at him, but he didn't seem mad. He put on a flirtatious mask and walked over to you confronting you about staring. When he drew closer and looked into your eyes, something changed, his mask cracking.

Like he had realized the same thing you had.

Familiarity.

You began visiting that quant cafe more often, letting yourself relax in the presence of someone who understood you.

You came to learn more about each other with each visit, compelling you to continue going. It let you escape from reality for a little while.

The familiarity turned out to be a shared feeling of hopelessness. A shared feeling of purposelessness. Of inadequacy.

Nihilism.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what was under the bandages covering his neck and arms, perhaps even other parts of his body as well. And while you weren't covered in any bandages, you figured he knew you had your own personal scars as well.

Perhaps the biggest difference between you two was his flawless ability to hide behind well-crafted masks. It was something you faintly recall being capable of doing as a child, but now you were simply too exhausted to bother hiding your apathetic nature.

Dazai didn't seem to mind.

After some time of getting to know each other, he invited you to join him at a bar. A place he said held many memories of a time long gone. A time in which he was happy, even if fleeting.

He told you of his two friends, one turned traitor, the other dead.

You remember that night.

Odasaku was the man's name. He took you to his grave that night.

Though no tears were shed you could feel the melancholy surrounding him like an intoxicating aura. Coiling around the two of you like the fog did, seeping into your skin, your bones.

Currently, you were returning his gesture, bringing him to a place that held your happiest memories.

Fleeting as they were.

Before everything in your already difficult life went to absolute shit.

Bills were scattered on your kitchen table, and copies of a resume were among them.

And yet you were currently leading Dazai to a bridge. A beautiful river surrounded on both sides by flowers of all kinds.

It had been your happy place away from your home life where you hung out with your only friend.

You couldn't remember his name. Faint memories of hair so blonde the sun created a halo on his hair. A smile, innocent and youthful. An angel running through flowers in the middle of spring.

Red. Everywhere.

The platinum blonde hair was stained with a garish color.

A warm breeze, telling of the nearing summer shook you from your thoughts as you and Dazai made it to the bridge.

Even at night was it beautiful.

You looked at the man next to you.

He was no angel, far from it.

But perhaps that was why you got along, for you were no angel yourself.

Your hands would forever be stained in the red that seeped through platinum locks of hair.

"It's beautiful." He spoke softly as if to not disturb the calmness of their surroundings.

You smiled looking from Dazai down to the water, to the moon reflecting across in streaks of white. "It is, isn't it?"

Words were meaningless.

Speaking for the sake of speaking.

"My dear belladonna." His sentence left unfinished.

Belladonna's were a beautiful flower.

Poisonous.

"Would you be willing to end our suffering with me, love?" He finished. Words unneeded.

Lovers.

Something you were not.

Perhaps in another life. In another time.

You took his hand.

Moving to sit on the railing of the bridge with him, you looked up at the moon as it stared down, always watching.

You looked at where your hand was intertwined with his then up at his face.

Soft brown curls framed his face in an almost endearing way. Eyes a beautiful brownish burgundy color.

You smiled, genuinely.

He looked at you.

His lips pulled into a genuine smile. He looked tired.

Perhaps you looked the same.

You both closed what little space was left between you.

The kiss was soft. It would've been sweet if not laced with your shared melancholy.

Without breaking the kiss you both slipped off the railing.

Oneshot -Killing Butterflies

Fandom: Genshin Impact

Ships: Aether x reader ; Childe x reader ; Childe x Zhongli

TW: Aether x reader ; reader x Tartaglia ; Tartaglia x Zhongli (if you squint) ; Major angst ; character death ; hurt no comfort ; Aether loves reader, reader loves Tartaglia, Tartaglia loves Zhongli ; reader dies ; implied death ; gn reader-no gender is given to reader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is a whole bucket full of angst so have fun lol. Also, for context i would recommend reading this post of mine. Anyways enjoy reading! (*^▽^*)

Aether couldn't bear to see you like this. To watch you through yourself at him when he no longer loved you. It was pitiful really. How you begged for him to stay. You were attached to him while he moved on. Tartaglia didn't hate you, he simply didn't love you anymore. Tartaglia moved on and fell in love with someone else; his best friend. You couldn't do anything about it but simply accept what had happened. Though you could never move on from him as he had done.  

And so Aether watched as you fell deeper into despair. He tried to lift you up, to show you how much you were loved and that you didn't need Tartaglia to feel loved, that there was someone else who loved you dearly. You were too blinded by your sorrow to notice how Aether thought of you.  

As much as Aether wanted to do more for you he couldn't and so he let himself be a shoulder to cry on for you. Hoping. Praying. That one day you would see how much he cared for you. 

You had been going to Aether nearly every day for about a week just to cry. He was your dearest friend after all.  Until one day you stopped.  

Aether thought you simply needed a bit of space to get over your heartache.  

That was a week ago though. 

It had been two weeks since he last saw you, and he was getting worried.  

He stood outside your home, knocked, telling you it was only him and that he was worried because he hadn't saw you in two weeks. 

Silence 

He knocked again. 

Nothing 

He wasn't fond of entering without your permission but he had to make sure you were alright. He needed to make sure. 

He went to open the door to find it was unlocked already, though it wasn't uncommon for you, it seemed to unnerve him for some reason. Your home was dark, the curtains were all closed and no light was on. The lack of light only made him worry more. You always had light in your home whether from open curtains or candles lit at night so for your house to be so dark in the middle of the day was worrisome. He walked around your house looking for you until he came to your room. 

The door was closed and at first it seemed deadly silent from within your room as it was in the rest of your house. He stood there silently until he heard what sounded like a sob come from within your room. He opened the door to find you curled in on yourself in the corner of the room on your bed.  

"Y/n are you-" 

However you were surrounded by butterflies. 

Red butterflies. 

Blood Red butterflies 

"Aether?" 

He knew what was happening. He had seen this before. A friend from another world had died the exact same way, but he hadn't heard of it happening on Teyvat. He didn’t think it was possible here. He didn't want to believe it.  

"How long has this been going on for y/n?" Aether inquired while walking over to your side. 

"A-about two weeks now," you paused, taking a breath. "Aether do you know what's wrong with me?" 

The look in Aether's eyes told you the answer to your question. It hurt Aether to see you like this, to hear you sound broken. It seemed that at the very least the disease wasn't well known in Teyvat if at all. 

You didn't have much longer. It was obvious with how pale you were and the number of butterflies around you. Most people barely survived a month with the disease. Typically the victim died within three to four weeks of obtaining it. So it was easy to tell you would be dead soon. 

He stayed by your side, tending to you as you slowly grew weaker and couldn't perform simple tasks let alone even walk. The only time he left your side was to inform Tartaglia of your condition and what was going to happen as well as ask Albedo if he knew anything of the disease. 

Aether was told that while it did exist in Teyvat, it was extremely rare. 

The moment Aether got back he was immediately by your side again. 

You died in his arms five days later. 

He laid you down on your bed as the butterflies landed on and around you to rest peacefully alongside with you.  

Aether sat on the ground next to your bed, closing his eyes only to start coughing. He looked at his hand only to be met with flowers. 

Red flowers. 

Blood Red flowers. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've come to realize that while I'm not the biggest fan of reading angst, I sure do love writing it.

fic planning be like: