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Distant - Blog Posts
Being an older sibling, and seeing a younger sibling upset will never stop being painful.
It only adds to the pain when you aren't equally close to all of them, and the one with the most distance is the one in need of help.
We've never been overly close, and they seldom, if ever, come to me for help. Our parents were more gentle raising them, so they grew up healthier and more independent. That's a bit of a double edged sword, though. I could at least try to calm the others down and encourage them, but not this time. They probably don't want me to, and I wouldn't know how, even if they did.
It's strange how people who grew up in such close quarters, with the same parents have such drastically different connections with each other. The rest of us a close-knit clique, with a thin, frail connection to that island. It's not like any of us deliberately excluded each other growing up, and it's not like any of us saw it coming. It's no fault of our own, and it's upsetting, but that's the way things came out.
Sorry...
Sorry for being a burden.
Sorry for being clingy.
Sorry for being such a mess.
Sorry for having no self control.
Sorry for being insensitive.
Sorry for being thougtless.
Sorry for being heartless.
Sorry for being unempathic.
Sorry for overestimating.
Sorry for not grasping cues.
Sorry for being emotional.
Sorry for overthinking.
Sorry for being distant.
Sorry for being manic.
Sorry for being depressed.
Sorry for being arrogant.
Sorry for hating myself.
Sorry for bothering you.
Sorry for dissapointing you.
Sorry for making excuses.
Sorry for being suicidal.
Sorry for telling you about it.
Sorry for staying.
Sorry for opening up.
Sorry for saying all that.
Sorry for apologizing.
...I'm sorry.