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Imagine you are Akutagawa. You have just watched the person you most consider your equal die. The only one who has ever stood up against you, the only one to truly stand beside you, and someone you would let stand behind you.
And he is gone. Turned to light and dust in the air. And you could not save him for all your power and strength.
And only now do you see everything.
The hate.
The anger.
The respect.
The love.
Only now do you see and feel and remember all that Atsushi Nakajima was to you. And it doesn't even matter because he is gone. He is gone, gone, gone. And he is gone because he wanted for you to stay.
Just as you wanted him to stay.
And you don't know how to feel because he is gone but he did it because he believed you, of all the mutts and monsters and strays, deserved to live.
Of all of the unwanted creatures in the world, you met the one you needed. Someone who you saw and who saw you. Who you would save and who would save you in turn. Because, now that your eyes are clear and unclouded and full of light- his light -you can see that you were wanted.
Both of you were.
Because were either of you truly unwanted, why would you die for him and he for you?
And it burns and it aches and it hurts because despite both of you wanting and wishing- you, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, are alone.
Because one stupid, foolish weretiger asked for you to live.
Because one idiotic, stubborn, wandering stray dog wanted for you to stay.
Imagine you are Akutagawa. You wake up a blank slate- knowing simply your name and your purpose: protect the princess. Protect the commoners. Those are your only thoughts. Your only duty.
And so you do.
You must slay the evil that threatens the princess. Slaughter it so that it never darkens her doorstep again. Destroy it so that no commoner must fear again. But what you find is not simply the evil, but someone else. He seems to recognize you, but you cannot. He calls to you, afraid- you don't listen. Who is he?
No matter. He is a commoner, which means he must be protected. That is all there is to it. All that matters is destroying the evil in front of you. Nothing more. Nothing less. That is your duty as a knight.
You clash with the evil, a blur of blades and power and sparks. You fight to protect and to serve and to succeed.
And then you fall. You don't quite know how, but you fall nonetheless. You are prone and bleeding and hurt. You are lifted into the air, pain and anger and the voices: Protect the Princess. Protect the commoners. Protect the Princess. Protect the commoners. But you cannot move. You cannot fight. You accept your fate as a knight should. That is all you can do.
A weight crashes into you, heavy and deliberate. You feel yourself fall again, but this time it's different. Because you see him. Arms outstretched. Arm. Arm outstretched. He saved you- protected you. He let himself hurt for you. Die for you. Why? Why would he do this? Who is he? What is he? Why?
Why?
Why?
"Consider us even. Away with you..." he smiles at you, turning to light. "...you fool."
And you remember.
And you remember.
And you scream because that is your partner, your other half, your fool. The man you found enough to hurt for. To die for. To protect because he is Atsushi Nakajima and that was reason enough.
And you remember.
And you scream.