"it's Not Something I Can Tackle Yet, I'm Not Strong Enough, And That's Okay. I Don't Need To Be Strong

The nickname "ghost" really suits me. Wether it be me lurking in random chatrooms for hours, not responding for half an hour because I just tend to be like that, or hopping on to social media and being active for five minutes then disappearing for another three months.

Being autistic is such an weird experience because I just spent an hour fuming around the kitchen making dinner and trying not to break anything. Then the moment I held big cat (comfort item be praised) I just started crying. Now I'm eating dinner with a massive gray cat, who is a short king and I love him.

I'm trying to follow the racoons advice but the most impossible task rn is taking a shower.

The ticket is always blank

I feel as though life has been passing me by

It feels like I'm at a train station

Watching the trains pass

Wonder which one was mine

It's hearing a busker's guitar, calm peaceful

We stand their in our own melancholic solitude

Not daring to look up

Buried in our own self doubt

It's watching clouds roll over blue skies

It's watching the seconds tick

Waiting for the clock to fall

And my body to decay

It was laying in the grass

Trying to become a bug

It was standing in the rain

To become a puddle

I think of these things

These thoughts of death that plague my brain

I watch another train go by

The next one, I think,

I'll get on

Chaotic Academia Spotify Playlists: The Complete Collection

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3q0JPpoeoSfYB4njmfRj7K?si=B0heqlLUSqelVpfkl2oo0Q&utm_source=copy-link

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6EWrhl3niUYQOIkPdc5zJ1?si=ddfoegERTeeZxVn923KImw&utm_source=copy-link

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6MsyW5iZV5ldq8UW4mULFQ?si=m7ULmehUSuefTIOVOEPcsA&utm_source=copy-link

Some choatic academia playlist for your aching souls.

(from top to bottom)

Wake up sleepy head! - upbeat morning playlist

Hoodies over dress shirts - a collaborative all around playlist

Oversized t-shirt and a book - calm evening playlist

Hope you enjoy!

Inspiration comes from basically anywhere, but sometimes I want something to occupy my mind as I live. So I make stories from small fragments of inspiration. Usually agitation, if I'm being honest. Sometimes they come from small bits of hope. Those are always my favorite.

Today I believe it was hope. Maybe optimistically, I want to believe it was hope.

me to everyone i meet: chill, it'll be fine! take care <3

me to myself: you walking disaster.

Episode 3: Smoothie

I need both so we can learn guitar together and then go on road trip or illegally hop on a frieght train to travel across the country playing and writing song

i need a friend who knows how to play guitar so i can jam along