49 posts
Latest Posts by the-mothership-has-landed - Page 2
House Vines
Hufflepuff: You have a beautiful smile.
Ravenclaw: Thank you...You’re not that handsome.
Hufflepuff: Wow.
Hufflepuff: Thanks!
House Vines
Slytherin: I’m over with this dumbass school with all these fake ass bitches-
Ravenclaw: *waving* Hey.
Slytherin: *In a sweet voice* Hey!
Slytherin: *under breath* Fucking bitch.
House Vines
Gryffindor: I’m not gonna convresate with you. I’m not gonna invest time-
Slytherin: *stirring tea* I think it’s converse.
Gryffindor: Huh?
Slytherin: Just say talk. *sips tea*
House Vines
Gryffindor: *plays flute*
Hufflepuff: Look! It’s a snake charmer!
Gryffindor: Ey yo snake!
Slytherin: *pauses and whips around*
Gryffindor: You cute as hell.
Slytherin: *blushes* Ssssstop.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: Well I wanna see a manager.
Ravenclaw: Well, I am the manager and uh-I can’t give you the display bagel; it’s not real.
Hufflepuff: Test It.
Ravenclaw: No.
House Vines
Voldemort: I don’t understand why you’re mad at me.
Harry: You killed my mom!
Voldemort: Yeah, but then I said “April fools”
Harry: *laughing* Dude!
Voldemort: *also laughing* I got you good!
Harry: You did!
House Vines
Gryffindor: *holding a “Yuleball?” Sign*
Hufflepuff: Oh! Oh my god! Yes!
Gryffindor: N-no! Tell Ravenclaw!
Hufflepuff: Okay. *whips around to where raven claw is sitting*
Hufflepuff: Ravenclaw! I’m going to the Yuleball with your boyfriend Gryffindor!
House Vines
Gryffindor: When you drink too much orange juice-
Slytherin: Hey I’m looking for Ravenclaw.
Gryffindor:...I don’t know who Ravenclaw is-
Ravenclaw: That’s me. Hey Slytherin!
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: Hey man, what’s up?
Ravenclaw: Just hanging out.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...and my heart is severely damaged.
Hufflepuff:...
Hufflepuff: So Slytherin if you’re out there-
House Vines
Slytherin: *looking up* Yeah, so he broke up with me.
Ravenclaw: Why are you looking up?
Slytherin: I NeEd TO CrY, But mY FOunDaTIon coSTeD 48 DOLLARS!
House Vines
Ravenclaw: Now that I’ve explained the answer for 10 minuets, do you understand the problem Gryffindor?
Gryffindor: Yes.
Ravenclaw: Are you lying to me?
Gryffindor: *tears in eyes* YeS.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: *peace sign* What’s up guys? Just wanted to give you an update.
Hufflepuff: Ummm...My worms are back.
Hufflepuff:
Hufflepuff: Yikes!
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *holds up hermonica* You play it, you get 100 million dollars, but a 100 million people will die.
Slytherin: *plays hermonica aggressively*
Hufflepuff: Slytherin No!
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *looking out the window, watching the raindrops fall* So what do you think about space travel?
Ravenclaw’s pet: *makes small noise*
Ravenclaw: I don’t speak Spanish, sorry.
House Vines
Muggle born Gryffindor: My mom said if I don’t get my grades up, she’s not gonna let me get my tetanus shot next year.
Hufflepuff: That’s weird..what are you gonna do?
Muggle born Gryffindor: Fucking study I guess.
House vines
Hufflepuff: Hey, can everybody leave the kitchen while I get my fourth pudding cup?
Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor:...
Hufflepuff: *a little quieter* I just don’t want you guys to know I’ve...had four pudding cups...
House Shenanigans
Gryffindor: Oh shut up, you know you love me.
Slytherin:
House Shenanigans
Gryffindor: *stands .0001 millimeters outside of Slytherin common room entryway*
Slytherin: *looks up from couch* Get out of my room!
Gryffindor: *smiles smugly* I’m not in your room~
Slytherin:
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: Do you have a death wish?
House Shenanigans
*Gryffindor sitting on the opposite side of the desk from Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff*
Ravenclaw: *reading Gryffindor’s resume* Says here you’re proficient at fighting ghost?
Gryffindor: *feet kicked up. Arms behind head* Yeah.
Slytherin: *looking over Ravenclaw’s shoulder* But...*looking up* This place isn’t haunted.
Gryffindor: *finger guns* You’re welcome.
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: *looks directly at the camera like Ben from Parks and rec*
Hufflepuff: Holy shit!