sp00kybutch
21 yo physically + cognitively disabled dogboy. complicatedly and tentatively plural. disability awareness/advocacy and sometimes kink posts. artist and musician who likes to wax poetic about silly things.
52 posts
Latest Posts by sp00kybutch
Once you become a certain age, it is your responsibility to unlearn behaviors that hinder your growth as a person.
• this user has complicated feelings about being physically disabled
I think people with brain damage and neurodegenerative diseases' unique position on brain/body duality is so heavily appropriated by others and used to speak over us or put words in our mouths that I don't think we're ever actually allowed to speak about it ourselves. That's a huge loss I think, because I think we really do have a lot to say that could be very beneficial to the community and disability rights as a whole. Even to our understanding of the human experience and its physical nature, I think.
To have your body tangibly damaged, and through it your entire world and self too, to be changed so intrinsically that it spans both the body and the very essence of self. The inseparability of your physical disabilities and who you are not just on a spiritual or social level but a tangible, physical, neurological one, where even in a hypothetical future you couldn't cure the physical without changing the self, everything you experience, in ways that can be almost impossible to comprehend. The absolute, unavoidable understanding of every fiber of one's self as a physical phenomena, down to the very last thought or feeling, and coming to terms with it.
Unfortunately I think unless people stop using us as a mouthpiece to talk over each other, we won't get to have those conversations. If you want us to speak, you need to listen. I mean really listen. No picking and choosing, no deciding for us what you think it means. No trying to relate our experiences to your own when we tell you that no, those things aren't the same. Just listen and uplift our voices, especially those of us who can't communicate our thoughts and experiences very well.
i have a recurring stress dream where i’m driving one of those horrible newer cars with a huge iPad looking thing in the dash. (my IRL car is a 2009 Cube). A video game, usually Fortnite, is running on the screen, and for some dream logic reason it is imperative that I both make it to my destination and survive in the game. It usually ends in me crashing, but one time I succeeded somehow and woke up feeling really good about myself lmao
everyone has dreams about being lost at school, late to work, cant find bathroom etc but whats yalls most common Uncommon stress dream. ill always have dreams about having various problems with my fish tank
*gently takes you into my arms*
hey. hey. go put a slice of gouda and some crushed up chips in your mac and cheese. things are gonna be alright someday. maybe soon. maybe they already are.
soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
Likes to charge reblogs to FUCKING cast
really wish able bodied people would stop infiltrating SCI communities to ask about their back pain. that’s not what a fucking SCI is you two-legged fuckwit
the psych facility I stayed in at 17 didn’t give me a room due to my being a wheelchair user.
i was forced to sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the dayroom of the psych facility because they were “afraid i would fall”.
the dayroom was the “hub” of the facility. i had to try to sleep while patients were getting prepped for admission at the desk only a few feet from me. while people were getting blood drawn, meds administered, etc. i barely slept.
they also didn’t let me bring my own wheelchair in, and made me use a hospital wheelchair which was not fit to my orthopedic needs. my shoulders still ache when i see one of those fucking rust buckets.
psychiatric care is not safe for physically disabled people. if i have another mental health crisis, I will choose anything over going back to one of those places. i would rather die by my own hand than go back there and be subjected to that kind of treatment again.
inpatient psychiatric care is typically only for physically nondisabled people.
psych facilities will often simply turn you away if you have mobility aids or specific medical or access needs they are unwilling to meet. i have also heard stories of them doing things like taking away people's communication devices.
institutional psychiatric 'care' is a mixed blessing at best, but since it's what we have, it should be available to everyone who needs it. people with non-psychiatric disabilities are more likely than average, not less, to need this type of care. but it is often not available for us.
Im so tired of trump diaper jokes. So fucking tired. Maga people don't care, trump doesn't care, the people who have to wear incontinence products for medical reasons though? We notice and we care.
random musing.
something i really love about life right now is the silent wobble of solidarity when i see another person who has a movement disorder. i wobbled past a guy with cerebral palsy at the store and he raised his T-rex hand to me like it was a gang sign. hell yeah we may be wobbly but we’ll be wobbly together
“once in a generation” is such an odd phrase, doesn’t that mean it happens every 20-30 years? that’s not really once in an anything, just a thing that keeps happening
Same as it ever was
i am BEGGING people to please stop spreading this sentiment without the appropriate nuance. I irreparably damaged my shoulders by using a mobility aid that wasn’t right for me because I was told “just get the cane!”
Mobility aid use is a serious medical decision. Absolutely do NOT get crutches because you “think they would make you look cool.” You have a high chance of causing avoidable, permanent damage to your body.
If you are unable to be seen by an occupational therapist, please make sure to do research on different mobility aids and how to best use them for your needs. It can make a world of difference in your future ability.
to those who want a mobility aide, but don't think they're "disabled enough" for it:
get the aide.
you want a cane, but you don't think you need it? get the cane.
you want a wheelchair, but you can get by without? get the wheelchair.
you think crutches would make you look cool? get the crutches.
it doesn't matter if you just think it looks cool or fun. using mobility aides actively helps those of us who do 100% need them, even if you don't ""need"" them.
using mobility aides in public makes it easier for others to do so. buying mobility aides, especially things like canes, often means that they continue to be made and supplied. sometimes, disabled folks make and supply mobility aides - in that case, you may be directly supporting them.
get the mobility aide. use it. you're doing good.
this is happening to me rn
every character should get fatter to signify that their life no longer sucks
if we had a universal basic income program i would do all the bookkeeping for it at no cost just to make sure it kept functioning. not for altruistic reasons, my math autism brain just Craves Finance
i wholeheartedly believe in the idea that people would still want to work if we had a universal basic income. i am unfortunately a terrible spokesperson for it because if you gave me enough money to cover rent and food i would spend every day playing video games, drawing fictional characters kissing and slapping my meat. but in theory i know there are people who like having a job. trust.
taking a class on something you’re genuinely interested in as an autistic person FUCKS. i just hyperfixated really hard and accidentally did tomorrow’s work today
I think it’s really unfair that I (a person who needs to feel loved all the time) am so incredibly hard to love.
needed this today so im reblogging it in case someone else does too
Sometimes your worst fears are true. Sometimes you’ve annoyed a loved one. Sometimes you’ve even upset them or frustrated them.
But you know what? It doesn’t mean they’re done with you. It doesn’t mean they’re going to leave you.
It is normal to be annoying sometimes. It’s normal to not be perfect and to have off days. It’s normal for relationships to not be in perfect harmony all the time.
My point here is, yes, while sometimes they are true, it isn’t the end of everything. It’s actually quite normal. And you’re going to be okay.
AND I WILL NEVER DIE
I WILL NEVER DIE
I WILL NEVER DIE
I WILL NEVER DIE
I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE DRAFT EARLY OH MY GODDD
anyways this is finally done i can rest goodbye
i don’t rlly know what to say other than that,, here’s the textless version and the sketch because i think the sketch is cool and the textless version is lowkey better💔💔
shoutout to being fuzzy
estrogen didn’t get rid of most of my body hair and i’m so thankful for that
I think body hair that isn’t leg hair deserves appreciation too. Body hair is amazing. I love the little hairs above my lip. I love how I can see the peach fuzz on my jaw starting to grow thicker. It’s exciting to see more chest hair everyday, I love that after years of having just the one that more are coming.
I love the little hairs on my arm that are growing in, little blonde ones that will turn black some day to match the rest. I love the hair on my hands and the hair on my fingers. I love that the hair on my stomach has been going growing further up my belly. I can see light blonde hairs on my back that weren’t there before, I’ll love them too when they grow in.
My leg hair was already so thick and dark, and I hope mine gets thicker and darker. I love the matching patches of skin on my legs that are bald from my thighs rubbing together. I even love the hair on my feet. I love being hairy but if the hair on my head thins or goes bald I’ll love that too.
freaks and degenerates are just so much nicer and kinder than the rest of you idk. i love you perverts with illegal and unethical fantasies thank you for being so nice to me
also remember that there is no enforcement office for the ADA like there are for other similar government acts! the burden of enforcing ADA is placed entirely on disabled people and our lawyers.
the ADA simply defines grounds for lawsuit. that’s all it does. the ADA is the bare. fucking. minimum.
happy 34th anniversary of americans with disabilities act (ADA)! remember ADA is bare minimum!
the leftism leaving people’s bodies when you ask them not to say ableist shit
Reminder from someone with actual literal brain damage from a brain injury to stop fucking using "brain damage" and "brain injuries" as a means of describing someone whose opinions you don't like or deem as stupid.
It's ableist and offensive as fuck, and for some reason a lot of leftist people think it's okay to use. I've seen posts replying to right wing racists calling them "brain damaged if you believe this" and "do you have a brain injury? do you not understand X?". Just now I saw a beautiful post about fat people throughout history that was absolutely ruined by opening with "How do we break it to boomers with actual brain damage and nostalgic brainrot, and the 'tradwife' thirsting Andrew Tate fans..." before continuing to say that fat people existed throughout history.
Brain damage does not make you racist. A brain injury doesn't make you stupid, or fatphobic, or unaware of history and politics. Stop fucking using my disability as a catch all to describe people you think are shitty. Y'all use it like it's a replacement for how people used to use the R-slur, which shows you learned absolutely nothing about why the R-slur was wrong to use and decided to throw in other disabilities instead. Fuck off and stop doing it.
(And don't do it with other disabilities either, because I know y'all do.)
I know a lot of people with brain injuries. They're smart, and funny, and compassionate. They learn about the world and care about social issues and wish they could go to protests if their disability won't allow them to. Are there right wing people with brain injuries? Sure, absolutely. But they are not right wing because they have a brain injury, and using any disability as an insult is still fucking ableist.
Tldr - stop using brain damage and brain injury as an insult. It's ableist and incredibly offensive.
Love, your local brain injured/brain damaged pal
You're not immune to being the bully btw. You're not immune to being in the wrong