@aithlynfreyeaesthetic said:
Hello. I hope you are doing well. I struggle with showing and not telling. Do you have any tips to get better at this? I apologize if you’ve already answered an ask like this.
Hi there, thanks so much for your ask! I don’t have much to say as a prologue-type thing, so let’s jump right into it!
“Nick was cold.”
This is telling. When you “tell”, you’re just giving your reader information. There’s not much room for the reader to deduce what’s happening or for you to include too many double meanings (if that’s your intention).
“Nick shivered as the strength of the wind grew, goosebumps appearing on his forearms.”
This is showing. Does it say Nick is cold? No. Could you have guessed that Nick is cold? Probably. When you “show”, you’re doing more than just giving your reader information; you’re giving them clues of sorts that lead them to the knowledge that, in this case, Nick is cold.
In many cases, “telling” is a good way to make your readers believe that you think they’re stupid. Showing helps you give readers the opportunity to discover for themselves, and it also helps them paint a picture in their mind’s eye.
Let’s look at the above example. Nick is cold, sure. But how does he react to being cold? How do we really know that he’s cold, as opposed to just being told? This is where showing comes in; it’s also a great way to include some imagery and for underwriters to boost their word counts.
Yes! Think, for example, of a time jump in your novel. If there’s something that you need to include but that doesn’t play a legitimate role in your story, this is where telling comes in. A week passed and nothing important happened? Write that.
For example, in my current project Smoke Shadows, I have the phrase: “Three days pass in a monotonous routine of…” Why? That’s all I need to write. Nothing important happened in these three days, but I needed my readers to know that three days passed.
It’s probably best to use telling to describe things like this, then jump right back into showing.
Here are some quick things to think of.
Do you ever state an emotion? Think of how you could let your readers know that your character is feeling this emotion rather than just telling them outright.
What about character traits? Sometimes those don’t need to be said outright, but instead you can pepper your writing with clues. Maybe a short character is always getting their hair ruffled or having people leaning their elbows on their shoulder.
Do your best to avoid forms of “be”. Unless it’s in dialogue or in a few other circumstances, the verb “be” is usually a sign of telling.
How are you describing the world around your character? Instead of saying they’re in a classroom, describe and give clues/description that would lead the reader to understand that the character is in a classroom.
Use your five senses! If you can really put yourself in the character’s point of view for this moment, then you can probably be sure that you’re showing instead of telling.
Read through your writing. Is there anything that seems abrupt, or that makes you feel like you’re just being given information? Unless it’s dialogue, you’re probably reading a bit of “telling”.
Remember that not everything needs to be shown! Trust your own judgment; if you’re telling but you believe that’s what’s best for your work, then don’t change it because of an advice post you’re reading on the internet.
So, that’s all I’ve got for today! If there’s anything else you want to see me write about in my next post, please don’t be afraid to drop a message in my ask! Until next time, much love! <333
Lemony Snicket: Stop watching this show, it’s extremely unfortunate, depressing and has no happy ending.
Me: Don’t tell me what to do you beautiful poetic bitch.
“With the objective point of view, the writer tells what happens without stating more than can be inferred from the story’s action and dialogue. The narrator never discloses anything about what the characters think or feel, remaining a detached observer.”
Pros
Adds a potentially useful suspense to the events of the story, as the reader cannot predict as easily what will happen next based on the characters’ internal thoughts.
More direct with the events and description of elements of the story, such as setting and the rate at which time passes in the story, which can be muddled in stories in points of view like third person, where these details can be overshadowed by descriptions of thoughts, feelings, backstory, etc.
Descriptions can come across more fluidly and make the actual images and scenes visualize more easily in the readers head. It is the closest point of view to a movie, as films don’t typically focus on what the audience is explicitly being told, but what they see and what they can deduce from the images in front of them.
Cons
This point of view can be more difficult to relate to as readers, due to the story being told and described in a more detached way, rather than being pulled into the story in a way that makes them feel like a character themselves.
You have to really utilize subtext and context with this perspective. You can’t convey the story’s tone through any of the characters’ thoughts or feelings, so you have to rely completely on the pure course of events to tell the story and grip the reader emotionally.
This makes it really hard to connect to the characters and understand their motivations unless the reader is looking really deep into the context and reading between the lines.
“Here the narrator does not participate in the action of the story as one of the characters, but lets us know exactly how the characters feel. We learn about the characters through this outside voice.”
Pros
This is pretty much exactly like first person narration, but with different pronouns. Instead of “I walked to the store” it’s “he walked to the store” and eliminates the reader’s potential skepticism of the narrator’s reliability while still telling the story in the same words.
You have the potential to divulge more about what other characters are thinking or doing at any point in time because you’re not technically limited to one character.
It’s a pleasing way of telling a story. It doesn’t take too much analysis for the reader to imagine how the perspective could be tainted by emotion in some way. It doesn’t require too much brain power to read. It flows nicely.
Cons
This isn’t as much a con as it is a warning. Your characters need to be rounded and diverse if you’re going to write a story in third person. If they all share the same characteristics and motivations and emotions, your story will fall flat super fast.
Third person has a viewpoint character, typically. If you want to be able to tell whatever you want about whomever you want, then you need an omniscient point of view. Third person usually focuses on a main character and occasionally shares about other characters when it serves the story.
“Second person is a point of view (how a story is told) where the narrator tells the story to another character using the word ‘you.’ The author could be talking to the audience, which we could tell by the use of 'you,’ 'you’re,’ and 'your.'”
Pros
Your reader feels what you write so much more intensely, because you’re referring to them specifically. It’s a reader insert point of view. You’re speaking directly to them.
Action and romance are really good genres for this, I imagine, because those are stories where readers often put themselves in the place of the protagonist anyway, so second person would amplify that to your advantage.
There works so well when it’s done correctly, and if you take the time to practice with it and master the pacing and what really makes a reader tick in second person point of view, it will grab that reader and pull them very, very quickly.
Cons
You usually have to be really really vague about descriptions. If your reader doesn’t have blonde hair and hazel eyes, but your character does, this will really put a damper on their experience because every time you describe how their blonde hair blows in the wind, they’ll detach from the story.
Sometimes your reader may feel confused because second person is a very hard point of view to read about at first. It takes some time to get used to. A lot of fanfiction (mainly reader-insert) is second person point of view and I’ll be the (not) first to say that it took so time to adjust to, at least for me.
“In the first person point of view, the narrator does participate in the action of the story. When reading stories in the first person, we need to realize that what the narrator is recounting might not be the objective truth. We should question the trustworthiness of the accounting.”
Pros
Is not limited to the point of view of the main character, as displayed in books such as The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
A certain connection between the reader and the character can create a sense of authenticity and intimacy between the reader and the story as a whole.
The themes and motives behind the story can become easier to decode, as they are disclosed in a more clear and direct manner.
The character can be easier to understand and relate to, as everything is being told by them, with their bias and interpretation included.
It puts the reader inside of the story rather than having them watch from the outside. The intimate details and description can make put them in a position to experience the story from inside and therefore make the story mirror their reality in a way.
Cons
It may become difficult for the reader to differentiate who is speaking to them in the story, as many sentences will begin with “I” or “we” and create a repetitive narration and lose the reader alone the way.
The reader may become bored with hearing the story from only one’s perspective. The style in which the story is told {the adjectives, the themes, the personality} may not vary enough to keep them entertained.
Imagery can be difficult to pull off in this point of view because the writer may get into the habit of telling the reader what is happening instead of showing them through smooth interjections of descriptive vocabulary.
The writer may experience a dependence on dialogue to try to compensate for lack of description of events, and the reader may lose track of story details that may become imperative to events later in the scene/story.
This makes it a lot easier to pull an “unreliable narrator”, as first person is only the perspective of a person, rather than the story told from a purely factual position.
“A narrator who knows everything about all the characters is all knowing, or omniscient. A narrator whose knowledge is limited to one character, either major or minor, has a limited omniscient point of view.”
Pros
This makes it really easy to include details about many characters that you wouldn’t be able to from the perspective of a single person.
You are writing as yourself. You are the author, you have all the information to give the reader, and you get to give it in the least convoluted way you could ever desire, and in your own words. In any other point of view, you are pretending to be somebody else, even in third person, so this allows you to really demonstrate your unique voice as a writer and express your own style.
You can write fast paced scenes without the reader questioning what an individual character is feeling all the time. You can slip in whatever information you want at whatever point you wish and it just sounds natural to the reader.
Cons
Plot twists are ten times more difficult because there’s no reason why anything would be a surprise. Your reader technically has access to all information and foreshadowing required to predict what will happen next, so if you’re planning a big surprise, prepare for a challenge delivering it.
Keeping the focus on one subject is more important when you’re writing for younger, less experienced readers. You have to have a protagonist and a linear story for them to follow, which can be tricky with omniscient point of view. It’s important to keep your audience in mind if you’re going to choose any point of view, but especially this one.
These pros and cons are subjective, depending on what you are intending to convey in your story. Please consider this with a grain of salt and take the detail and unique qualities of your own work into account when using this resource. Not all pros and cons in this piece will apply the same to every story, and that is something to keep in mind. I hope this will be useful to you all. Cheers!
Ext. Sources ~ x x x x
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How the setting looks in my head:
How the description comes out on the page:
Anger:
Grinding teeth
Narrowing eyes
Yelling
A burning feeling in the chest
Heavy breathing
Unjustified or justified accusations towards other characters
Jerky movements
Glaring
Violence
Stomping
Face reddening
Snapping at people
Sadness:
Lack of motivation
Messy appearance
Quiet
Slow movements
Crying
Inability to sleep
Frowning
Red eyes
Isolating oneself
Fatigue
Not concentrating
Love:
Thinking about someone
Good communication
Not forcing a friend/lover into something
Smiling randomly
Making eye contact with loved one
Nervous behaviors (fiddling hands, biting lip)
Cuddling
Flirting
Inside jokes
Holding hands
Kissing
Offering gifts
Fluttering stomach
Racing heart
Losing track of time while with loved one
Daydreaming
Denial:
Disagreement with someone
Shaking head frantically
Backing away
Putting hand on one’s chest
Rapid speaking
Rationalization or justifying something
Dismissing someone or something
Embarrassment:
Blushing
Avoiding eye contact
Grimacing
Looking down
Changing the conversation
Rubbing back of neck
Shoulders slumping
A weak voice
Tightening chest
Panicked thoughts
Running away
Getting quiet
Concentrating on something else
Happiness
Smiling
Laughing
Squealing
Bouncing on toes
Warmth in chest
Fast pulse
A sense of contentment
Relaxed posture
Quick movements
Breathlessness
Desire to help
Fear:
Face going pale
Panicked thoughts
Jerky movements
Mind racing for a solution
Running
Freezing
Fighting
Fawning (doing what people tell you to do)
Side note: flight, fight, freeze, and fawn are all reactions to adrenaline. Aka the fight or flight response
Thinking of survival
Rapid breathing
A panicked feeling
Guilt:
Feeling horrible about oneself
Lying
Grimacing
Trying to redeem themselves
Asking for forgiveness
Anxious thoughts
Shout out to writers who can’t do plots, who write about feelings and moments in time instead. I love reading those fics, and I love writing those fics. Keep on peering into the depths of characters’ hearts and souls in the little moments. You’re exploring the places where canon often fears to tread.
– A lot of you have asked questions pertaining to a struggle with planning scenes, so I’ve decided to make a little rundown of questions to answer before writing a new scene of your story. Obviously, you probably won’t end up going through this process over and over again until the end of your writing career, as this will become like a second nature to you as you continue to practice it. If you have any further questions, my ask box is always open. Happy writing!
Intention
How is the setting of the scene relevant to the events that take place?
Is this scene easy to follow with the information given to the reader?
What role do past events play into this scene?
How will the events in this scene shift the story toward the resolution?
Does this scene solve any plot holes or create any new ones?
Purpose
What is the overall purpose this scene serves?
How will this scene progress the plot?
How will this scene help to develop your character(s)?
Information
What information is this scene supposed to reveal to the reader?
What information is required to make this scene make sense?
Subtext
Are there any hidden messages you need to plan beforehand?
Is there any foreshadowing taking place during this scene?
What context might alter the implications of this scene?
What consequences might come from the events of this scene?
Starting Point
Does this starting point make sense for the trajectory of the scene?
Does the starting point allow room for some rising action?
Is your scene starting abruptly or with a build up to a large event?
Is there space between the beginning of this scene and the last?
If there is, are there any blanks you need to fill in to continue?
Tone
What is the main way you’ll be conveying tone in the context of the scene’s events?
How do you want the tone to impact the reader’s experience?
Does the tone change drastically in contrast with the last scene?
How Do You Want The Scene To Leave The Reader?
Do you want your reader to end the scene asking a bunch of questions?
Do you want one of the subplots to be resolved?
Do you want the reader to be shocked?
Do you want the reader to think, “Oh, that makes sense now”?
If you have any to add, feel free to leave them in the comments down below to help each other out!
If you enjoy my blog and wish for it to continue being updated frequently and for me to continue putting my energy toward answering your questions, please consider Buying Me A Coffee.
Request Resources, Tips, Playlists, or Prompt Lists
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FAQ //monthly writing challenges // Masterlist
"I almost always topple over, when she always bends over, baby bring that bottom over, don’t make me run on over.
Baby why do I always fall for you, I just see that bottom behind you, and it seems to keep reminding me, just how much you mean to me.
So baby let me smack that ass, you must think I have balls of brass, when really I’m just hopelessly in love with you."
Ode to MC by Kaitlyn Liao
🙄
What song(s) reminds you of Kaitlyn? Or song(s) that you associate with your MC and Kaitlyn?
I actually don’t have one so tell me yours! :D
Sofia. She/her. Writer, thinker, listener, trans woman, and supporter of the Oxford Comma.
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