Sugar Pussy Make It A Yeast Infection, Slurring Speech Call It A Beast Inflection, My Penis Hard Im Having

they should make a skin picking that’s good for you

U A C U G U U G A C C C

NO FUCKING RNA 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫 NOT ALLOWED 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

idk why but i get a deep pang of embarrassment when i even think about making anything about a fictional character. like fan art or some shit

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

my mom purposely overpaid her credit card bill by 1 cent so every month they send her a letter that says they owe her 1 cent and it costs them a dollar to send the letter plus the paper. she is costing corporations money 👍

hop tuah. would a bunny say. is what a . a bunny would say hop tuah

if my doctors name was house i would wanna know his first name before he does any surgery on me. what if its haunted