Ah, To Be A Sleepy Prison Guard On The Way To A Chair By The Cell Of An Adventurer… Maybe I Will Wear

Writing Tip #1

Your characters are the most important aspect of your story. The best part isn’t what happens, it’s who it happens to. Spend time developing them.

As you opened the door, the sight greeting you was not, as your friend put it, "a teeeny mistake with a summoning spell". In a hasty attempt at a barrier on one side of the room was a couch, your friend staring fearfully at the scene in front if them. Two entities, one whose face was constantly changed from different animals to humans, with a cloak of billowing blue smoke surrounding them, the other a attractive figure that glowed gold and grand, gravity defying jewelry and an extra set of arms the most prominent features. They seemed completely different, the only thing in common the rage on their faces and tendency to hurl insults in odd languages at eachother. God's who had been ejected from there plane lost their powers, and it seemed these ones we're not taking it will. With a swift gesture with your arm, a nearby vase shatters in the middle of the angry gods, all tension in the room halting as three sets of eyes land on your figure. You couldn't tell if they were surprised by you being there or your bored expression. Maybe it was the words that came out your mouth next. "If the both of you would stop throwing a hissy fit, we can actually address the current slightly more civilized than primal apes. "

At the insult, the multi-faced god's, well, multi-facing, became erratic and quicker, speaking in an odd dialect.

"]ou $are ßpeak ïn ßuch æ \ay [o ?e. $o ]ou ñot (now \ho \e ære? "

After deciphering that the first letters consisted of the appropriate human symbols, you had run out of mental energy from the journey here, lack of sleep, and promised vacation bullshit.

"Yeah, a couple of powerless gods who think they can overcompensate for their usefulness with their ego. "

Whilst the first gods face recedes into a display of anger and shock, face shifting, hw other breaks out into high pitched tinkling laughter, teasing the other god with a child's naitivity and mentality.

As you sighed, a dark premonition crept up, assured by the human in the feeble position still behind the couch and reconstructed vase flying at your head.

If humanity truly is in the hands of gods, we're all fucked.

When your friend had called you up to nervously tell you that they’d had a small accident with a spell and needed your help, you had expected something simple and mundane. What you had NOT been expecting, was to walk in and find your best friend very nervously waving at you from besides two deeply pissed off, and completely powerless, gods. 

And to think you had been hoping for a quiet week.

---

Feeding your kids is not a favor. Buying them clothing and school supplies is not a favor. Encouraging their learning throughout life and making them feel loved are not favors. These are LITERALLY OBLIGATORY FOR EVERY PARENT. Parents—do NOT use these “kind” actions as proof of how good you are. Do not make your kids feel guilty for receiving things from you. You are achieving the bare minimum of parenting. Goddamn.

As someone that has grown up surrounded by beaches and done surf life saving, I know how the sea works. Lots of people dont. Every summer multiple tourists die here because they don’t respect the sea, if you’re going to the coast, here’s a thing I saw on Facebook.

beware

just a reminder that the UN classifies forced pregnancy/denial of an abortion as actual torture. that’s how essential reproductive rights are.

source

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

Many of you may know that I keep youtube playlists of language samples, and I thought it was about time to compile them all into one post. They contain pretty much anything where you can hear the language clearly – music, dialogues, tutorials, movie trailers, readings, etc. I’ll probably add more in the future. Hope someone finds them useful!

afrikaans

ainu

akkadian

albanian

american sign language (ASL)

amharic

angolan portuguese

arabic

aramaic

aranese

armenian

aromanian

assamese

asturian

aymara

azerbaijani

bashkir

basque

bavarian

belarusian

belizean creole

bengali

berbice creole dutch

biblical (classical) hebrew

bosnian

brazilian portuguese

breton

british sign language

bulgarian

canadian french

cantonese

cape verdean creole

catalan

chechen

cherokee

chickasaw

coptic

cornish

corsican

cree

crimean tatar

croatian

crow

czech

danish

dogri

dutch

early modern english

egyptian

emilian-romagnol

esperanto

estonian

etruscan

faroese

fijian

finnish

flemish

french

french sign language (LSF)

frisian

fula (fulani, fulah, peul)

galician

gallo

garifuna

georgian

gottscheerish

greek

greenlandic

griko

gujarati

gullah

guyanese creole

haitian creole

hawaiian

hawaiian pidgin

hebrew

hiberno-english (irish english)

hindi

hindko

hittite

hungarian

icelandic

indonesian

irish

italian

jamaican patois

japanese

javanese

kannada

karelian

kashmiri

kazakh

khmer

kinyarwanda

konkani

korean

kristang

kurdish

kyrgyz

ladino

lakota

latin

latin american spanish

lebanese arabic

lemko

lithuanian

livonian

lombard

louisiana french

luganda

luo

luxembourgish

macedonian

malagasy

malay

malayalam

maltese

mandarin

maori

mariupol greek

martinique creole

mayan (general)

meitei (manipuri)

mirandese

mongolian

mossi

nahuatl

neapolitan

nheengatu (língua geral amazônica)

norwegian

nuosu (yi)

odia

ojibwe

okinawan

old english

old french

old norse

old welsh

pashto

pennsylvania german

persian

piedmontese

polari

polish

punjabi

rajasthani

rioplatense spanish

romani (general)

romanian

romansh

russian

ryukyuan

saint lucian creole

salish

sami (general)

samoan

santali

saraiki

scots

scottish gaelic

serbian

shanghainese (hu dialect, wu chinese)

shona

sicilian

silesian

sindhi

slovak

slovene

soga

somali

sumerian

swabian

swahili

swedish

swiss german

tagalog

tahitian

taíno

tajik

tamazight (general)

tamil

tatar

telugu

texas german

thai

tibetan

tlingit

tocharian

tokelauan

tongan

totonac

trinidadian french creole

tuareg

turkish

turkmen

ukrainian

urdu

uzbek

venetian

vietnamese

vurës

welsh

wolof

yiddish

zaza (zazaki)

zulu

---

every tumblr user: despite the fact that no one views or cares about my blog, i will continue to spend the majority of my life updating it