Homura And Madoka's Wishes (the Concept Of Selfishness)

Homura and Madoka's Wishes (the Concept of Selfishness)

TW: Mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation.

I) Beginning

In a lot of PMMM "discourse", even pre-Rebellion, there existed the idea that Homura's wish was fundamentally selfish, while Madoka's was fundamentally selfless.

This idea is often based off of the wording of Homura's wish. After all, Homura could have altered hers to simply make Madoka come back to life! Why couldn't she just have said, "I want Madoka Kaname to come back as a human girl"?

However, this "argument" of Homura's wish being "selfish" due to Homura wanting to basically protect Madoka instead of of "just" saving her hands-off is flawed from the start. Namely, because Madoka's wish has a similar catch:

Both of these wishes have a catch that can be considered selfish, but only Homura's is seemingly ever argued to be "bad". However, the same arguments that people use to call Homura selfish can be used with Madoka's wish here. After all, she could have just wished to erase any and all witches. But, instead, she wishes to do it with her own hands. Similar to how Homura didn't just want to protect Madoka, she wanted to be the one doing the protecting.

II) Homura's Wish is Never "Granted"

I'd like to bring up here that Homura is the only magical girl that, pre-Rebellion, is shown to not actually get her wish fully granted.

Everyone else gets their wish, even if it's twisted/not as they intended. But with Homura, the whole second part is cut out. She never becomes strong enough to protect Madoka, pre-Rebellion. Ever.

She loses the fight against Walpurgis. It's not even a close fight. Even in the anime timeline, when she's shown shooting it with guns/bombs/grenades/a train(?), the witch is nearly entirely undamaged. It is literally impossible for Homura to win. Not winning = Madoka not protected. Madoka not protected = the "I want to become strong enough to protect her" part of Homura's wish is not granted. Not in the slightest.

And this isn't like Homura just needs to keep trying, and she'll eventually be strong enough. The creator said by the anime, Homura has looped nearly a hundred times. One hundred attempts to protect Madoka, and she isn't able to do it even once.

And then, when Madoka becomes a God, she literally ceases to exist and cannot physically be protected at all, meaning Homura's wish then becomes literally impossible to fulfill.

III) Homura remembering Madoka

Madoka (and Kyubey) tell Homura that Madoka's wish essentially erases her from existance. Any physical memory or evidence of her ever being a person is entirely wiped out. But Homura remembers her — how?

I'd like to argue that it's entirely possible that Madoka wanted Homura to remember her. After all, she gives Homura her ribbons, with a vague "But maybe you'll still be able to remember me."

The only people shown to remember her in any capacity are Homura herself, Madoka's toddler brother who is implied to only remember due to his age (and that he might forget when older), and her mother — who only says the name is nostalgic and comments on Madoka's/Homura's ribbons. Kyoko doesn't remember her. Mami doesn't remember her. Her father isn't shown to remember her. Mami/Kyoko show blatant confusion when Homura cries over Madoka, because they can't even recognize her name.

But how is Madoka wanting to be remembered possibly a bad thing?

It's not bad. But it does, again, touch on the idea that Homura = Selfish, Madoka = Selfless.

IV) Rebellion

See, a main issue a lot of people have with Rebellion is that Homura's new world is bad because it is unstable.

Madoka is constantly seemingly on the cusp of remembering being the Law of Cycles (LoC). Sayaka seems to remember her as well before her memories are altered. This re-written universe she's made isn't stable. And, thus, people think it's "bad".

But Madoka's wasn't stable, either.

Madoka let Homura remember her existence. And, yes, I am saying "let her". Madoka gave Homura the ribbons as a token of rememberance. She has everyone forget her existance, all except for Homura.

She could have also altered/wiped Homura's memories. But she didn't.

Madoka letting Homura remember literally led to the events of Rebellion.

Homura remembers Madoka -> Homura tells Kyubey about Madoka/the previous universe -> Kyubey plots to trap Madoka/the LoC -> Homura begins to turn into a witch -> Homura feels the need to seperate the LoC from Madoka both to prevent Kyubey from harming/trapping her, and to follow what she believes to be Madoka's true desires (to not be the LoC) -> Homura creates a new universe that's, arguably, just as unstable as Madoka's.

Yet, despite this error, Madoka is still never called selfish for essentially causing a chain reaction.

V) Madoka's Wish Isn't Selfish, but Neither is Homura's

You might see this post and go, "Oh, samble is trying to call Madoka selfish and evil!", but that's not it.

A major, major thing anyone who has issues with Homura (or any of the cast) forgets is that the characters are little girls. 13-15 year old middle schoolers. They are not grown adults. They are not mature people who make 100% rational, level-headed decisions (nobody does all the time, anyways). They are all deeply traumatized children manipulated by a force beyond their control.

Madoka is not a selfish character. She has low self worth, low self confidence, and can even be argued to be depressed. Her wish to defeat all witches "with her own hands"...

Is likely a side effect of this, in a way — in that she wants to do good. She wants to be "useful" and help people. She wants to have a purpose.

Homura in Timeline One has more similar characterization. Remember, Homura then wasn't this mysterious, edgy girl. She was physically disabled. Very shy and socially stunted. Behind on her education, bullied, etc. She also had self worth issues, and in canon was suicidal, or, at least, depressed enough to be influenced by a witch into becoming suicidal.

So why does she wish to protect Madoka instead of just wishing her back to life? Because Homura is Selfish and Evil™ and wants some sort of spotlight on her? No.

Homura is like Madoka, at this point. She doesn't feel like she can do anything worthwhile. She thinks she has no use, that she's unable to do anything right or good or helpful. But what she can try to do is save Madoka. Like what Madoka does is try to defeat all witches. Because it gives purpose. Because it let's them feel like, look, I feel worthless, but by doing this I must be doing something good. It's not because a traumatized thirteen year old is selfish. It's because she's canonically shown to feel like she's worthless.

Not even touching on the fact that Madoka's wish "erasing her from existance" when she canonically has these issues can read an awful lot like a cosmic suicide, and that Homura is canonically suicidal and self-hating in every movie she is in.