If This Happened Instead Of Him Going With Them Than God This May Hurt More - Blog Posts

i think about a version of aftg where andrew had to chase after neil and actually catch him in order to keep him. like i imagine a scene where neil's paranoia gets triggered so he runs away and andrew chases after him, not used to the effort so his legs burn and chest hurts but neil is right in front of him, arms length. his knees ache, threatening to buckle but that firey hair in front of him urges him forward. he's about to give up, wonder what makes him even run after this thorn on his side but then neil's looking over his shoulder. eyes wide and blue, shocked for all they're worth and then neil's stumbling.

he falls and stares up at andrew's hunch figure over him amazed. no one has ever caught up to him, no one's ever tried. but here they were, eye to eye with neither one clear what causes the stand still. unsure of why andrew chased and unsure of why neil stayed.

beautiful. wonderful. no notes.

so we're talking baltimore, right? if neil found out lola and romero came for him and instead of going, he did what his mother taught him to do. he dropped everything and ran. he ran even though his muscles ached from the game and he ran away from the best year of his life because maybe for a fleeting second he thinks his mother is waiting for him he thinks she's going to be there when he turns the corner, she's going to give him a new passport and a new name and they're going to escape like they always do and no, maybe she's behind him, maybe she's calling his name, maybe he can hear her, why is he running from her, he needs to stay with her, he has to stay with his mother, he needs to keep her safe just like she kept him safe. for a moment he is alex and stefan and chris and nathaniel and all twenty-two names when he turns around for just a second, and it's not her, and it's not his father either.

the hands that catch hold of him don't hold weapons. andrew stops him from running and he says his name and suddenly neil isn't anybody other than neil, and for one fleeting moment he wonders if he dreamed it, if he could stay here for real. andrew looks scared, but his grip is firm and his voice insistent when he says "you're staying."

for a second neil thinks he can. for a second he wants to.

then he glances over andrew's shoulder, and the past he's spent nine years running from is standing right there.

all he can say is "you have to let me go."