Empath - Blog Posts

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10 Tips For Coping With Emotional Overwhelm as a Highly Sensitive Person

April 2, 2019

For the past five months (after the sudden loss of my partner), I have experienced an intense state of grief. Due to a variety of factors, I have actually been experiencing what is considered to be complicated grief as an already highly sensitive person (HSP).

This profound grief has been the most difficult and painful challenge of my life. Since my sensitivity is at an all time high, this experience has felt beyond the usual state of overwhelm I have been accustomed to.

At first, the grief and emotional overwhelm was debilitating. I was barely getting out of bed and basically losing my will to live even though I was not planning to die. I would go days without sleeping and was in shock. This may be a normal reaction to grief. However, experiencing this as an HSP can feel like the worst form of torture, especially being a highly romantic /sensitive soul. I knew I was desperate to seek peace and willing to do what it took to get out of my emotional rut. I knew that i couldn't keep living like that and I needed to heal and find coping strategies to gradually start living my life again.

Over the years, I have learned about a variety of healing methods and coping strategies. I have noticed incredible results from implimenting new coping tools, but my lack of consistency has often blocked my capacity to thrive.

The healing process has been gradual and I am still in the process of navigating my grief. However, I have found that implementing certain coping tools consistently has been an important factor in managing my emotions.

The following tips include some of the coping strategies I have used to aid in my healing process and manage my emotions more effectively...

1. Calming Activities

I know it is common knowledge to engage in calming activities when feeling overwhelmed, but I have noticed the difference when not practiced regularly. During my recovery, I have found it beneficial to regularly do activities such as deep breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, receiving massage work (can help release energy blocks and can promote relaxation).

2. Mindfulness/ Awareness

Because a vast amount of stimuli (both external and internal) can overstimulate an HSPs highly sensitive nervous system, HSPs can easily feel stuck in the mind/feelings and not present in the body and moment. I have noticed that consistent mindfulness practices and body awareness exercises have been a crucial aspect of my own personal healing and growth.

3. Reminders

Because practicing new behaviors may require a degree of focus and practice, it can be difficult for some people to follow through and form a new habit. I find it helpful to have reminders such as Sticky notes or an accountability partner to practice new habits. Being aware and reminded about healthier thinking patterns can also be helpful.

4. Self Care/Acceptance

I find that self care practices and acceptance of myself and the reality of a situation can be a key factor regarding emotional stability and life itself. Whether it's taking care of basic health or buying yourself a small gift, it can really make a difference! I am learning self acceptance and relinquishing self shame can take some work and time, but I lean toward the belief that it is worth it!

5. Support System

I don't know where I would be without a solid support system. Having a support network, whether it be a support group or getting professional help, it can help with healing, self isolation and help realize you are not alone. Many support groups or therapists may also suggest helpful coping strategies to help regulate ones emotions more effevtively.

6. Removing/Reducing Triggers

For the longest time, I subjected myself to various people, places, and things that triggered emotional overwhelm. Removing emotional or otherwise overwhelming triggers doesn't always mean completely avoiding all your triggers. It can sometimes be more about knowing ones triggers/feelings, self awareness, and responding in healthier or more tolerable ways (i.e. Limiting how much time you spend around a triggering person, place, or thing). Sometimes avoiding some situations all together is best though.

7. Boundaries

Reducing triggers and setting boundaries go hand in hand. I have learned that setting and enforcing boundaries for yourself is actually a very important and a way to love yourself! I think having internal as well as external boundaries is important to note. I plan on discussing more about boundaries in a future post.

8. Processing Feelings

I know processing emotions is not always fun and can be exhausting, but I have learned that feeling and expressing my emotions is an important element in healing emotions. While I don't believe one should torture themselves into an emotional rut, I have learned that sometimes, in order to release what is going on within a person's mind and body, it can be a relieving to release whatever built up emotions and tension one might be experiencing. Their are a variety of ways to express or relieve emotions. For some people that may include physical activities such as exercise. For others this may include expressing oneself through artistic endeavors such as painting, drawing, writing, or singing etc... Sometimes it can be a relief to talk it out with someone you trust or to have a good cry. I'm not suggesting getting stuck in feelings. It is more about acknowledging, feeling, validating, and releasing the feelings without getting attached to the the thoughts and feelings.

9. Retreating Alone

Because many HSPs can easily get overwhelmed by the massive amount stimuli in the world and in the mind, many HSPs tend to retreat alone to relax, energize, and sometimes even function in the world. While I believe HSPs need more alone time than most of the population, I have learned the importance of not isolating myself as well. Self isolation can lead to lonliness, more feelings of not belonging, and more emotional overwhelm.

10. Change Your Focus

Certain coping strategies such as meditating, changing perspectives, and replacing negative thinking with positive thinking can be beneficial for HSPs. I don't believe it changes the way you think over night but with a certain amount of practice and belief can make it easier. I also find it helpful to focus on some thing that can create joy or laughter. Seeking out inspiration has been helpful for me because I find that not only does it help me feel inspired but it has helped improve my mood, focus, and motivation.

This post is only a brief description about my struggle with emotional overwhelm and 10 tips that have helped me go from debilitating emotions to my current status. Although it hasn't been easy, I can honestly say that I am currently working full time, back in school taking more advanced classes, and persistently working on my revovery. The key has been faith, willingness, and consistency in my growth.

Hopefully these tips will be helpful in some way to others as well! Feel free to let me know in the comments what has helped you with emotional overwhelm or about your experiences. As always, thank you for taking the time to read my post!

With Love,

Dahlia

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What I Love About Crystals!

March 9,2019

After experimenting with a variety of gems over the years, I have experienced a variety of benefits crystals and gemstones exude, such as a sense of peace and tranquility. Simply holding the glossy surface of certain crystals, such as sodalite(my favorite) have been calming for me.

Crystals have also been a great focal point during meditation or when I easily get distracted. I also love the variety of colors and textures displayed as decorations. To sum it up, I think crystals are fun and full of sensory beauty!

Crystals are natural elements made of energy that have been on the earth for ages. There are a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, patterns, textures, properties, and intended uses for crystals. Each crystal truly is unique and may have different energetic effects in a given environment.

Crystals may vary in purpose, meaning, or intended use. Crystals are used in meditation or for a variety of spiritual pursuits. Due to the radiant and aesthetic nature of crystals, many crystals are used in the realms of interior design and photography. A variety of crystals are even thought to bring tranquility, peace, and clarity of mind.

Because highly sensitive people are more prone to energetic and emotional overload, crystals can be an excellent tool for the highly sensitive or empathic person! If anything, crystals are a universal source of visual stimulation and a way to connect with nature! That's a another reason I love crystals!

I plan on posting more about crystal again soon. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments and wishing you all a lovely day or night!

With love,

Dahlia

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10 Signs You May Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

March 5, 2019

In a world where being sensitive is misinterpreted as being fragile or weak, many people tend to avoid there feelings and hide their sensitivity. We live in a time where society encourages us to run away from our genuine emotions and we are told to toughen up.

As HSPs, we tend to struggle with this because we have such sensitive nervous systems.This is not an indication, however, that HSPs are weak or damaged individuals.

Highly sensitive people are genetically wired to have finally tuned nervous systems and can easily be over stimulated by various factors(both external and internal stimuli).

Being on the receiving end of an excessive amount stimuli can be very overwhelming and stressful for HSPs. Being wired differently than most of the population can also make it difficult for HSPs to feel validated and understood. It can also make an HSP more prone to a number of physical and emotional issues. It's no wonder so many HSPs tend to need more time to retreat and spend more time alone than other's.

I know all too well how it feels to feel too much and suffer from various ailments ranging from depression and anxiety to chronic fatigue syndrome. I've always felt misunderstood or judged by many people. If you are going through anything like this, I'm here to assure you that you are not alone.

Fortunately, there are a variety of resources and tools that can help HSPs survive and thrive. I honestly don't know where I would be if I didn't learn about my HSP traits as well as related topics to the HSP.

Although I am still a work in progress, discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person and learning ways to work with this trait, has helped me become more self aware. It helped me realize that I needed to do more self care and enforce boundaries when needed. It helped me realize I need to stop being so hard on myself. It has also lead me to make connections to other related topics and have a better understanding of why I'm the way I am. Learning about all this has also helped me realize that being an HSP does not make me an incredibly flawed individual and has lead me to realize that I am not alone. Learning about being the HSP has also helped me find new ways of making my life more manageable.

In the next section, I wrote a list of 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person. Not everyone will identify with every trait and having a small amount of traits is not an indication of being an HSP. I know there are many ways to list HSP traits and many of the traits overlap, so I summed up a variation of common traits into a list of 10 signs. Following are 10 signs that you or someone you know may be a highly sensitive person.

10 Signs You May Be A Highly Sensitive Person

1. You are Hypersensitive To The Physical Environment (Including To Noise, Sight, Touch, Smell, Taste, and Tempurature)

i.e. You may be hyperensitive to bright lights or noisy crowds. You may also embrace and appreciate positive sensory stimuli more than other's and may be more in touch with a beautiful work of art or be musically inclined. You may also prefer to be in nature.

2. You are More Emotionally Sensitive Than Most People and Have Been Told You Are "Too Sensitive"

i.e. You have felt misunderstood or have been told you are overly sensitive and that you need to grow "thicker skin". Some HSPs feel the need to avoid watching violent movies due to a high sensitivity to violence. Highly sensitive people also suffer from emotional issues such as depression and anxiety. On the other hand, being sensitive can be linked to that spark of creativity HSPs often experience.

3. Avoids Conflicts

Many HSPs fear making mistakes and fear rejection. There is also a tendancy toward perfectionism and avoidant behaviors. Many highly sensitive people are conscientious and have self esteem issues. An HSP may have a preference for introversion. HSPs tend to have difficulty making decisions or a tendency to procrastinate. Because many HSPs easily suffer from sensory overload, retreating alone in a peaceful environment can help HSPs recharge and feel less overwhelmed.

4. You Easily Pick Up On Other's Moods/ Behaviors (Or May Be Empathic)

This can lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, and can be very draining for HSPs. It may also be linked to various physical ailments such as having physical pain or fatigue. Being highly sensitive may also be linked to why so many HSPs are empathic and are more in tune with the needs of other's, including animals. They often are seen working in the helping professions or doing humanitarian work.

5. Intuitive

Many highly sensitive people tend to connect ideas and patterns that other's seem to miss. This may lead to being misunderstood by other's. It may also be why so many HSPs have been known to be innovative or create great works of art. HSPs often have the ability of finding new ways to solve problems.

6. Highly Imaginative

Highly sensitive people often have a rich or overactive inner world. This may be related to why HSPs tend to over think or over analyze situations. This may be a reason why highly sensitive people tend to worry a lot and may easily jump to conclusions about things. Highly sensitive people tend to daydream and may appear inattentive or "spacey" to non HSPs. On the same note, having a rich imagination can also spark creativity.

7. Sensitive To Energies

This may lead to over stimulation or feeling uncomfortable in an environment or around certain people or circumstances. This can occur because many HSPs may easily sense the vibes of a room or person. HSPs also tend to be spiritual and may be spiritually sensitive. Energy sensitivity can be a very enjoyable experience if the HSP is in tune with positive energies.

8. Difficulty Sleeping

With all the various stimuli emerging from various sources to the HSPs sensitive nervous system, it is no wonder HSPs are prone to overthinking and feeling. It is also no surprise that many HSPs suffer from sleep issues such as insomnia.

9. Attract Toxic Relationships

Many HSPs tend to attract toxic people such as narcissists or other unavailable people. This is definately where awareness and boundaries may come in hand. Although toxic people are often drawn to HSPs, a variety of people are also drawn to high sensitives in general. Many people are drawn to the caring and understanding nature of HSPs and turn to them for helping assistance, guidance, or for someone to confide in.

10. Do Not Like Being Micromanaged/Judged

Highly sensitive people tend to br hypervigilent to other's behaviors/cues and can easily become uncomfortable or anxious when it feels as if we are being observed under a microscope. This can negatively effect an HSPs performance or functioning, which can make matters worse.

Hopefully this post has been helpful in some way or has helped you recognize that you or someone you know is a highly sensitive person. Identifying as an HSP is one of the first steps to changing ones life for the better! So... Are you a highly sensitive person? Feel free to let me know in the comments. Thankyou and I will post again soon!

With love,

Dahlia

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Audrey Hepburn Was Considered To Be Highly Sensitive, Talented, and a Dedicated Humanitarian

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Defining The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

For as long as I can remember, I have felt hyper sensitive not only to the behavior and emotions of other’s but to physical pain and the environment as well. I have always felt too much and often experienced a sense of overwhelm without even knowing where it came from at times. I have experienced the bitter sweetness that so many HSP’S know all too well. Like many HSP’S, I have often felt extremely misunderstood and have experienced difficulty fitting in with society. On the same note, I have witnessed this high level of sensitivity to be one of my greatest attributes. Being highly sensitive has been an absolute blessing in my work in the healing arts in fields such as hospice and massage therapy. The HSP trait has also been an invaluable asset as it has been linked to experiencing a range of emotions, deeply empathizing with others, and facilitating creative expression. If you or someone you know can relate to these traits, you are certainly not alone and may very well be a highly sensitive person.In this post, I would like to briefly note a number of variations describing the highly sensitive person. 

The HSP Defined

Although there are various types of Highly Sensitive people, the following descriptions are examples of ways HSP’s have been described in general:

 Dr Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D, author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, in an article titled What Does It Mean To Be Highly Sensitive? describes the HSP demeanor as a particular trait found in one’s personality. She defines an HSP as a person who responds to mental, physical, and emotional stimulation acutely. She explains that being a highly sensitive person is normal and about 15-20% of the population with a particular gene are considered to be a highly sensitive person. There has also been evidence based research in the field of psychology suggesting the HSP trait is, indeed, a real trait some people truly acquire. This personality trait is called SPS(Sensory Processing Sensitivity), indicating that the HSP actually has neural differences from most of the population. 

In the previously mentioned article, Dr Aron goes on to mention that the HSP has pros and cons. Some of the positive traits included involve traits such as empathy, intuition, being highly attuned to another’s needs, and creativity. Infact, many HSP’s have careers in fields such as therapy, counseling, writing, artistry, and music. Some negative aspects of being an HSP include being easily overwhelmed, tiring easily, and are very sensitive to other’s emotions. She explains more about the scientific research regarding the HSP on her website. 

Another author known for her work in this field is Dr Judith Orloff MD. She has written many books and articles geared to the highly sensitive person and I have personally enjoyed reading her work. In Psychology Today, she mentions that highly sensitive people have a low tolerance for stimulation and a preference for spending time alone. She also mentions the HSP having a sensitivity to sound, light, and smell as well as experiencing a sensitivity to large crowds. Although HSP’s can be extroverts, she mentions that most HSP’s tend to be introverts.    

In this post, I briefly described my experience as an HSP as well as several descriptions of the HSP by experts in the field of Psychology. Since this blog is dedicated to supporting and connecting with other HSP’s or anyone interested in the topic, I intend to create more informative posts as I continue my journey. I believe there is an abundance of knowledge we can all learn from eachother on this journey from surviving to thriving as highly sensitive people. 

With love,

Dahlia

Surviving Other People’s Shit: 10 Self Compassionate “I” Existence Affirmations to Get Out and Stay Out of Manipulative Control.

1 - I am free to personally like and dislike whoever it is that I choose, regardless of what other people think.

2 - I do not have to tolerate or accept repeated abusive behaviour in my life based on the abusers state of mind or personal well being.

3 - There are no rules when it comes to who I must, and who I must not allow in my personal space, except for my own.

4 - As an independent adult or young adult, I understand that what I do in my personal life, does not have to be based on what another person insists that I do, or else there will be consequences.

5 - I am allowed to say no.

6 - I am free to choose which invites to attend or not attend.

7 - I might have accepted a gift, but this does not bind me to the givers will.

8 - I can choose to have different beliefs and values than others, and still get along in the world.

9 - I am beautiful, no matter what they say (thank you xtina :))

10 - I am free to have whatever feelings that I have in any given moment, and pledge to manage these feelings in the safest, best possible way that supports the ultimate value of my existence.

Stay excellent :)