@tw Edd - Blog Posts

Got my period. Binged. Purged. Cried.

have you ever taken pictures and think you look good and then it's like woah reality check 😓😓😓😓

I finally realized that I gain weight when I eat more than usual!!!!! yayyyyy (I'm joking I want to cut the fat right off of me)

I hate when my stomach sticks out a little because I'm girl and I have a uterus 🤬🤬🤬🤬

I just did the second pics because I LOVE THIS SHIRT SM IT MAKES ME LOOK THINNER 😝😝😝😝

tw bodycheck at the bottom (I look kinda fat bruh 🙁)

the urge to slit my wrists is insane ngl but I kinda wanna make one of these my pfp which one should I do??? I hate vertical pics so much they make my face look so long 😭

random outfits 😝 tw for talking about Ed stuff under it tho

that is a actual wedding dress lol

I need to find better places to take pictures omg

I had the best vacation but I can't wait to eat less again 😭😭 it's so weird to eat 3 meals a day

does anyone else just want to purge? I just really want to at random times and it's really hard not to 😕

Can't wait to lose weight 💕

y'all I'm literally so clever for thinking of that omg 😝

this is literally the most basic fit on earth but whatever 😓

also I don't actually have a thigh gap I'm just doing the thing where I lean forward lol

why does my face look so weird 😭

what are your ways to punish yourself when you binge or eat more than you want to? besides the basic starving,binging more lol, purging and stuff. like unconventional ways or something

I think about it so much when I eat more, it's all I think about for hours and I really wanna sh and stuff but I also like deprive myself of stuff I like too, just things I like to do.

I'm just curious what weird stuff other gorgeous but ed girls do

i hate how different my thighs look when I sit down vs standing up

IT LOOKS DECIVINGLY LIKE I ALMOST HAVE A THIGH GAP BUT THEN WHEN I SIT DOWN THEY RUB TOGETHER AND ITS SO BADDDDDDD

I wish I was thinspo worthy lol

i would die for the pretty aesthetic pics (I tried when I looked good and I sucked lol)

🙁🙁🙁

I like genuinely am so bad at taking pictures even when I look cute

btw I gained weight so my thighs belly (AND BUTT THO) got bigger lol

YALL IF YOU WANT TO BE TRIGGERED GO WAYCH ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD OMFG

there's some hippies in it and they are all like so so pretty AND thin omg I just like to look at thinspo pictures I think they're just so nice but they just give me a vague feeling of want BUT THIS MOVIE MOTIVATED ME LIKE HELL 😭😭😭😭

idk why the pose is weird but like the outfits are bomb in the movie too

Does anyone else feel just so bad about wasting some people's money on food that they can't do anything about it, like I have to eat it all and it has to stay down because I just can't id feel too guilty

or does that get better once I level up in anorexia

I don't see myself and my child self as the same person. As a child I was so good. I love her and I think that she deserves the world, but it breaks my heart to know that she is cursed to grow into me.

One day food stops being a treat and then it becomes a sin. One day she will start to smile as she almost falls as she stands up because that means that it's working.

When she does eat she hates herself.

And she misses the days where she felt beautiful. When she didn't get dizzy every time she sees sharp objects. When she didn't know what they feel like in her skin. When she didn't do it anyway because it hurts twice as much when she is so afraid.

And she can't help but wonder when it changed. When she started looking for the diet version of everything. When she stopped eating with her family. When she convinced herself that she was so utterly unlovable.

I wish I could save her because I deserve this but she doesn't. She was young and good. She deserved to end up happy. But she will end up where I am now. And playing dress up will change into dressing the cuts on her skin.

Suddenly make believe food is all that she will eat. Suddenly she's afraid to hug her mom because she knows that she'll feel her bones and she's come too far to stop now.

And she will realize that there is nothing keeping her here except for her fear.

This young girl who had so much love and so many dreams and ambitions is withering away as she grows but nothing changes because she is already too far gone.

And she watches as her health deteriorates because that means that she is small.

But once upon a time she was small, but she was happy and she didn't need to be small because that was not all that she was.

She was smart and kind and hopeful and so so loving

But now she is dying

And she is happy because she will finally be small again and then maybe someone will finally love her like they did back then

Because no one loves her unless she is fading

And she just wants to be held but no one is there anymore and she dreams of the big and warm arms from when she was young, but now her concerns don't make sense anymore, and people are getting tired of her

But she was once a small girl and that girl is doomed because one day she will stop loving herself and she will change everything just to feel loved even for a second

I'm sorry little me. You deserved better and I love you and I'm sorry that I failed you. You were too good for me.

Feel better by Penelope Scott is the ultimate relapse song

my cal limit is not a goal

the goal for tomorrow is to only eat the healthier options i have, other than that just gum

hi edblrrr!!!! i’m not new here nor to edtwt and i wanna make friends! (also to do diets together and stuff)