Please Tell Me I'm Not The Only One Who Has To Re-read The Last Chapter Of My Fic Before Writing The

Sunday Snippet

I have survived the last week and a half! (Somehow). And I come bearing a snippet from a now completed, slightly-longer-than-it-was-supposed-to-be 'experimental oneshot'. I just need to edit the mess offline mode made of my document, but hopefully I'll get to share it soon. (People following the progress of the childhood friends fic will also be pleased to know that I've been working on that too.)

-

With intent, Felice chucked the cardigan she was holding in her hands at Nils. He squawked and lifted his arms to protect himself, spilling water everywhere in the process. “What the fuck was that for?” he cried, shaking his wet hair out of his face and laying the glass down on the table. “Fuck’s sake, Felice. I’m all wet now.”

“You asked Simon?” she demanded, rounding the table and sitting down in the armchair opposite them.

Nils wiped his hands on his t-shirt and sent her a scathing look. Very used to Nils, Felice just glared back at him until he sighed. “Yes. I asked Simon. So what?”

“So what?” Felice’s voice went shrill and Wille felt like he might be missing something.

“Yeah,” Nils said. “So what.”

“So,” Felice said, slowly and deliberately. “Simon is off limits.”

Nils scoffed and leant back into the sofa again. “Not any more, he’s not. He got rid of the dead weight didn’t he? Free as a bird. And therefore back on the table.”

“Nils,” Felice said, her tone warning. And then, for some reason, her eyes very pointedly moved to Wille and back to Nils. “That wasn’t why he was off limits.”

Wilmon as birds!

Thanks to @grapehyasynth my entire feed has been covered in birds (I am NOT complaining) so I drew Wilmon as birds!

Yes I zoned out and forgot I was supposed to make them look like Wille and Simon, yes I tried to redeem it by adding the glow sticks and little heart on Wille’s wing. My entire Pinterest is just bird references now.

🎉If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog.

Oh this is so cool thank you!!

1 I used to own stick bugs

2 I've never had spareribs before

3 I can tie a knot with my tongue (I did it like, twice once so I can basically do it forever now. That's totally how it works)

Stretching isn't enough i need to be sucked into a black hole

my contribution to the wilmon clinginess discourse is that I think wille is more of a general -but less intense- clingy person; he likes having simon close to him all day long. he likes keeping some kind of physical contact with him random times of the day; a hand on simon's back, sealing any kind of conversation with a small kiss, hugging simon for no reason at all random times of the day just to recharge, holding his hands with both of his own like their his to safekeep.

simon, while less clingy on a general basis, is soooo much more clingy than wille on an occasional basis. canon examples of this are the palace scene in 3x01 or the final scene in the car in the finale, moments where (at least to me) simon appears more emotional and clingier.

outside canon, I think sick simon would be vastly clingier than sick wille. in the mornings wille spends as much as he can admiring simon and giving him featherlight kisses and caresses before simon wakes up, but when it comes to actually getting out of bed, it's simon that complains the most about missing wille's warmth. last example... definitely their wedding/engagement day!!! I just know that boy is gonna be an absolute mess and he's gonna cling to wille like a koala bear...

they're both really clingy people, but wille is just always somewhat clingy; simon however reserves his clinginess for special occasions but when he does become clingy he's outright insufferable and disgusting with it

This is such a banger of a song tbh.

this one feels a lil silly, had lot of trouble with colours and was sleep deprived for half of it. Might remake it someday.

hey guys have you ever heard of THE CHARACTER. i’m thinking about THE CHARACTER. honestly can’t even get shit done because i’m thinking about THE CHARACTER. i’m listening to a song and imagining THE CHARACTER. all i know and love is THE CHARACTER

S3 is written like the writers were playing Episode with no diamonds.

Favorite (1.4k)

WANTED: TO BORROW AN ORANGE CAT Wanted: to borrow an orange cat to have a lasagna dinner with Garfield-loving twins, aged five. Will return the cat happy and cared for. Cat will not be required to eat lasagna if contraindicated. Please take your cat back at the end. Not looking to adopt. Thank you.

"This guy has completely gone mental," is Simon's first thought when he sees the ad on the bulletin board at the university campus. He considers it; he has an orange cat, after all, but this guy doesn't sound sane at all, or maybe he is a serial killer who wants to take cat owners out of this world because he has a personal vendetta against them. No, Simon, you are watching too much crime drama. Maybe the guy is a sweet dad who wants to make his little children happy. He takes a photo of the paper, still not sure if he will call this Wilhelm guy to borrow his innocent cat for a dinner party with two toddlers. This is insane.

He makes the call. He is skeptical at first, and Wilhelm, or Wille for short, as he wants to be called, mentions it before Simon even has a chance to and tells him it is very understandable. He sends them the picture of the children with their Garfield plushies, watching the cartoon with an adorable look on their faces. It looks legit, and Simon believes him. So they set up a date for Simon to bring his cat on one condition that Simon will be there as well.

Wille opens the door with the most enchanting smile, and Simon is already captivated by his charm. Okay, he was very gorgeous in the photos with the kids, but the real him standing right there is not enough for words. Fuck, why does he have to fall for the most unavailable guys? This guy is married with children. Could he be more unlucky?

Wille invites him and his cat in, and the little girls look at them behind their dad's legs with curious eyes. Simon takes his cat out of the box and makes proper introductions. He tells them what Jelly likes and does not. She usually gets on with kind children, but better safe than sorry.

Wille did actually set up a kids' table for them to eat their dinner, his cat included. He put on actual cutlery, but fortunately plastic ones. He serves the girls their long-awaited lasagna and some cat food to Jelly---her favorite one since he kindly asked Simon which one it was with the most persuasive reasoning that it's the least he could do for their favor.

He set up another table near the kids for them as well, very similar to the kids' table, but this one is more adult with real cutlery after all. Simon almost thinks this is like a date. He serves them some lasagna as well, and it is the most delicious thing Simon has ever eaten. They ask each other a couple of questions about life and work and some mundane stuff. It is not awkward at all, but it should be because they only know each other for thirty minutes, but it is not.

"You must have been very young when they were born," Simon comments out of the blue. Wille never mentioned the wife in the span of one hour they spent together. Maybe he is a single dad, and he has a chance after all. But that doesn't have to mean he's into guys at all. He needs to get his mind out of the gutter asap.

"I was 17, I think." Wille thinks it over, "No, I was 16. It was way before my birthday."

"You were so young. It must be very difficult to raise them with uni and your job."

"Their mom doesn't trust me at all when it is my turn to babysit," he chuckles. "She is calling every hour to check up on me, and I think I am doing great here. What do you think?" He smiles, and Simon's own matching smile falls flat. Yes, the mother is still in the picture, which is a downer, but babysitting? He calls taking care of his own children babysitting? He must be an asshole despite all this sweet persona. At least this will soften the blow when Simon can't have him.

"Can we do this again?" Wille asks with a small, shy smile on his face. Is he hitting on him? All of a sudden, Simon doesn't find him attractive at all. "I didn't think the girls would be that happy. I know I am being greedy here, but if it is possible for you, we would be really happy."

"I don't know," Simon mutters. He doesn't want to see this guy who is flirting with him in front of his children. He is not that guy.

"They are going to run to me in about three minutes asking if they can keep the cat; just wait." he chuckles. Why does he have to have the most beautiful smile? He is an asshole. It is not fair.

"You said you didn't want it for adoption."

"I am not trying to deceive you here."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Simon mumbles under his breath.

"Can we adopt the cat?" The girls come yelling in unison. At least he knows them very well.

"No, we can't," Wille explains. "You know your mom is allergic to cats. That's why we are doing this when she is not around. Remember?"

The tears well up in their eyes as Wille speaks. "I should have seen this coming."

"Uncle Wille, please. Pretty please." they beg in unison again with their little puppy eyes, and Simon is an idiot.

"My brother and his wife are coming in an hour to pick them up and I really fu--fudged up big this time." Wille whispers, censoring the swear word in front of the children, and he looks like an absolute dream; all the ugliness coming from the misunderstanding Simon caused himself disappears because when has Wille said they are his children at any point in his conversation?

Simon gets down on his knees to get to their eye level. "You don't want your mom to get sick, do you?" The little girls shake their heads with sniffles. "How about I bring Jelly again when you are here next time? Does that sound okay?"

They nod their little heads, satisfied with this solution. Simon tells them to go and say goodbye to his cat because they would have to get going soon.

"You don't need to do that if you don't want to," Wille says in apprehension after the girls are out of their earshot. "I really should have thought this through. This is on me."

"It is not a problem." Simon smiles. "How else am I going to find an excuse to see their very hot uncle otherwise?"

"Oh." Wille blushes. "I thought I was alone in this."

"You were definitely not. It is just that I was dumb." Wille scrunches his eyebrows in confusion, and Simon tells him to let it go. It will be a very embarrassing story if things go further.

"You know what we should do right now?" He smiles with a mischievous look. "We should set up another date."

"They won't---"

"Without the kids and my cat. Just us."

Wille, that asshole, licks his lips before he replies. "Sure, can't wait."

"Wait a second." Wille asks later, after their second first date, and Simon finds himself in Wille's apartment again, but this time in a room he hasn't seen before. "You thought I was their dad, didn't you?"

"No."

"Simon."

"Shut up."

"Look at the pictures I sent you. The pictures with the kids and me," he chuckles. Simon takes his phone from the nightstand and opens up his chat with Wille and looks at the pictures again.

"What am I seeing here?"

"Look at the mugs," he chuckles again, but he sounds more entertained this time.

Simon looks at the mugs the girls are holding in the picture with Wille in the middle. It was very cute when Simon first saw it, or his face. The letters stare back at him this time. "World's Best Uncle."

"I am a dumbass. A real dumbass."

"You are cute," he snickers. "You probably couldn't take your eyes off of me. I understand."

"Shut up, you smug asshole." Simon shoves him playfully out of the bed, but Wille hangs onto him and crashes their lips together with lots of giggles in between. He was right after all.

The lasagna picture with the girls and his cat easily became Simon and Wille's favorite yearly tradition.

me when someone who has been nice to me every single time we've interacted is nice to me:

omg... you dont hate me?....