Celedriel Week Will Run From: April 6-12, 2025

I am Earendil (one of the only people in my family that doesn't like football) with my silmaril (a stretchy headlight that my dad gave me) and I am tending the dark, solitary affairs of the Void (grilling chicken wings after dark while everybody else is watching the game) on my mighty ship, Vingilot (my brother's weightlifting bench that makes a very nice seat).

Quick question.

You know the Dad Shirts™️, right? Or even better, the Apocalypse Dad Shirts™️? Or, if you look really closely, the shirt that Sam wore when he was first seen gardening in the Fellowship of the Ring, when Bilbo was narrating the wonders of the Shire? Yeah, the Dad Shirt™️.

These bad boys.

ANYWAY

Do you think that, given the opportunity, Fëanor would wear the Dad Shirt™️?

Spoilers for Rings of Power s2, ep5!!

Screw Annatar. I want to gouge his eyes out with a spoon. I want to cut his ears off. I want him to have Celebrimbor's fate. The Everlasting Darkness is not enough; I want to wring his neck like a wet rag and not in a good way. He is hypocritical, manipulative asshole and I want him gone. Charlie Vickers has magically managed to make me hate Annatar even MORE, and I applaud him; good acting has moved me to further dislike of this character.

And that smarmy little BITCH from Numenor. It was iconic when all of the King's Men still called Elendil "Captain", and even better when they said, "Valar bless you". As a religious person, this struck my soul. What struck my soul even more was when that scrawny little-- lemme not say. But when that guy, Pharazôn's apprentice whose name I don't even want to learn, desecrated the temple!!!!! He destroyed a relic likely from the First Age!!!! He KILLED VALANDIL IN A HOLY PLACE. Not only was I sad to see such a strong supporter of Numenor's Faithful perish, it was how it happened that saddened me the most.

Valandil prayed for the Valar's forgiveness (slay of him) and fought Smarmy Bitch, and it was great!!! Not very honorable in my book, but I loved to see it!!! And then, Smarmy Bitch tried to drown him, but Valandil took the upper hand, either dislocated his shoulder or broke his elbow, and pointed Smarmy Bitch's own sword at him!!! But then, he took the high road; he showed mercy, even when he didn't want to. He chose to value life instead of take it. BUT GUESS WHAT SMARMY BITCH DID?

Smarmy Bitch stabbed him in the back. Literally. As Valandil chose to be the better man, to be honorable and good, Smarmy Bitchy chose the opposite.

It was heartbreaking to watch Elendil cradle Valandil as he died, someone he likely saw as a third son (You know, with Isildur and Anarion).

It was interesting to watch Smarmy Bitch wash his sword in the water. It was almost symbolic of how he washed the blood away; he thinks that he is cleansing Numenor of her past, creating a brighter future. He is misled. Instead of cleaning her bloody sins, he is demonstrating that those in power, those who agree with the king, can get away from anything. He can get away with murder in front of countless witnesses; he can tell the guards that Valandil was the first aggressor; he can manipulate the variables to his side all because of Pharazôn's favor.

And the storming of a religious building, complete disregard for the peoples' privacy and respect, I found terrible.

And poor Durin and Disa. Their king has gone corrupt with the power of the ring, and will not see reason. The tree that Elrond gave Durin is dying, symbolizing the growing, yet strained, relationship between the dwarves and the elves, as well as Khazad-dûm's slow descent. The Doors of Durin were a delight to see, but Annatar's jealous, manipulative reaction hurt my heart. Celebrimbor only sought to do good, to honor his grandfather by making powerful, good things like Fëanor tried to do. But just like with Morgoth's whispers, Celebrimbor is facing the same manipulation by a similar force. Sure, Fëanor did not trust Morgoth,but he heeded his words and let them plant the seeds of distrust in his mind.

And poor Celebrimbor; I mourn for him already. He is falling swiftly to Annatar's game. You can watch as Annatar grows closer to him, Celebrimbor grows less stable, more agitated, and more harried. When Annatar said that Celebrimbor should head for Lindon, implying that he would rule in Celebrimbor's stead, was a terrifying thing to see. Thankfully, Celebrimbor knew not to leave his city in the hands of a Maia who was likely beginning to distrust.

And by the end of the episode, after Celebrimbor declared that they were to make the nine rings for men, he looked terrible. He looked close to tears, knowing that he was making the wrong decision but still felt it was necessary, for it would fix a wrong that he had not, or had accidentally, made. He needs that First Age bottle; better yet, one of the Trees.

And Sauron. You whorey bitch. You tell that nice elven lady that she looks like Galadriel. Sure, she knows it's a compliment; to be compared to daughter of Finarfin in beauty is a very fine thing to say, but she does not realize that Annatar's honeyed words will lead only to horror.

And Annatar. Are you looking for a rebound? Afraid the exes are unionizing? Because Adar and Galadriel looked close to an alliance, last I saw.

And once again, I want to know where Celeborn is. I know he won't be in this season, but still. I miss my little guy. And ngl, when those orcs kept growling at Galadriel, I thought she was going to growl back 😭😭. Frankly, I wanted her to; at least bare her teeth, let them know she was not afraid.

AND LASTLY, the name drops!!! Eärendil, Tuor, Beren!!! Even Barahir!!! All great men who had elven sugar mommies!!!!! Minus Barahir, though.

Quick question!

Should I kill this minor character's mom?

Why I should: good character development, creates conflict with her friend who thinks the people that killed her mom were pretty legit

Why I shouldn't: it will make me have to write MORE, it will create conflict, it was in the original plan but I'm kinda just not feeling it anymore

You know which two characters I’d love to watch interact? Fëanor and Bilbo. I just know that Bilbo would put the fear of god in Fëanor. The guy would change his name to Fëarnor after ten minutes in a room with Bilbo. Bilbo says completely out-of-pocket things every five minutes like it’s his day job. He once stabbed a pillar in Elrond’s house just to show Frodo that his sword was actually sharp as if there was no other way to do it.

That Hobbit would take one look at the Silmarils and ask Fëanor why he threw away his immortal soul for “what to me looks like a glorified matchstick, my dear fellow”. He would write a five page poem about all of Fëanor’s misdeeds from the time he broke a window as an elfling to the kinslaying, and then recite it to his face and make him give constructive criticism on the rhyme and meter. He’d say Nerdanel should have “gone for the smart one, not the pretty one”. He would say “my dear father is dead too but you don’t see me going around screaming like a banshee and killing everyone, do you?” He would tell Fëanor that many problems of the psyche can be traced to trapped wind, and inquire as to whether or not he ate anything “bean-adjacent” on the morning he made the Oath. He would ask him if he’d never heard of contraception, and suggest that he try breathing exercises next time he feels the urge to burn a ship or two. He’s mansplain Tengwar to him. He’d write a letter to Finwë telling him all this was the result of not disciplining his child at the age of five and send him a list of Supernanny-type childcare tips, “in case you want to try again, because I don’t think this world can handle underpopulation”. He’d have Fëanor crying in two minutes, I know it, I know it in my bones.

all my apologies to gimli who i cannot fit on this poll, zero apologies to denethor who i also can’t fit on this poll

Ngl, sometimes I wonder if he likes the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. It's a banger.

sometimes I wonder

what Jesus's favorite coffee is

Does He like doughnuts or bagels

What His favourite video game is

I can't wait to ask Him this