What Else Could You Have Done

Sun, swallow me whole. I want to be beautiful to my own accord. I want solitude that does not kill. For once, i want to be the light that permeates and guides someone to liberty. If not sunrise, then sunset at the very least. I am a myriad of flaws. I was told that light could make terror beautiful, too. Come, devour me. I don’t care if you burn my skin or suffocate my lungs—I want to be whole.

I’ve been fixing up my room and this is kind of just what it’s at rn and I’m so happy

a mary oliver quote that peeled me like a fruit

François-Hubert Drouais 

French, 1727-1775

Madame du Barry (details)

I was perfect.

i am a graveyard full of moments that i could have had with you

Let me fall silent,

Your nothingness stabs a hole in my ribs,

No substance, no form, no tangible hold

I dance between clarity and insanity

I have been looking everywhere for you,

I turned myself inside out,

I am a rabid dog,

I am a wanderer forever deprived of eden

I am your lamb,

Devour me, haunt my dreams,

It is still here,

It wouldn’t stop lest you come home to me

This bile of yearning filling up my organs,

It’s yours and yours alone.

Would you be the same if I taint my soul trying to search for yours?

when whitman said “i contradict myself. i am large… i contain multitudes” and wilde said “what are you? to define is to limit” and sumney said “i insist upon my right to be multiple”

Fairy Wings (detail) by TheFancyFairy on Etsy