Do You Ever Have That Urge To Make Out With Your Own Art?

okay but like himbo/bimbo/thembo reader who is such a fucking cinnamon roll that they solve all of the world’s problems because everyone and anyone is too afraid to disappoint them. even the goddamn fucking universe.

(not winnie the pooh parody inspiring me to write this)

like they’re literally too nice that people can’t help but fold to their whims.

yanderes murdering people?

reader politely asks them to stop because hurting people is not good and they would feel really bad if someone gets hurt, much less not live because of them.

everyone suddenly comes back from the dead.

war? suffering? natural disasters?

what even are those hahahahah

all solved. just make reader the ruler of the entire world; everyone and everything will be good.

reader gets kidnapped, creeped on, etc.?

the world actively tries to destroy the perpetrators. up until reader gently asks them if they could loosen the ropes binding them cause it hurts oh so badly and they can’t give people hugs like this.

and so you get freed with some reverse ransom right behind ya.

Low-effort headcanon that no one asked for.

But laughter is the best medicine and I need lots of laughter right now.

So here's the boys as comedic tropes.

Stand-Up Swashbucklers

OPLA! Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy

SFW

Stupid af, sorry in advance

Sanji

Corny Pick-Up Lines

"Just blinded by your beauty."

"Love, I hope you have a license for those eyes, because I've never encountered a deadlier weapon."

"I've been dabbling in interior design lately, and I think you'd make a fine addition to my bedroom."

"I haven't been a pirate for long, but I'm certain you have to be the greatest treasure in all the seas."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by a few more times?"

Zoro

Dry One-Liners

"Don't like what you see, look away."

"Did you take lessons on being an asshole or is it a natural talent?"

"If I promise I'll miss you, will you leave me alone?"

"You should write a book. How To Be A Miserable Failure: For Dummies."

"Your ass must be jealous of how much shit comes out of your mouth."

Shanks

Bad Puns and Dad-Jokes

"I could take you...with one arm tied behind my back."

"What's wrong with me? Well, you could say I'm not all there."

*pointing at a keg of ale* "I'd tap that."

"I used to shave every day, but this beard, well, it sort of...grew on me."

"I'd offer you a hand, but I really haven't got one to spare."

Mihawk

The Lord of the Roasts

"Oh, come now Vice Admiral, I don't take orders—even from the likes of you."

"There truly isn't a single thought behind those eyes, is there?"

"Have you ever wondered how different your life would be, had you been born with even one single ounce of common sense?"

"I'd tell you to reconsider that statement, but that would require you to actually think, and I'm not sure you possess such a talent."

"Were idiocy contagious, you could singlehandedly bring about a global pandemic."

Buggy

Chop-Chop Slapstick

"Surprise, shithead!"

"That deserves a round of applause—" *drops both hands into a beer stein, actively clapping*

"Yeah, I'll lend you an ear, just give it back when you're done."

"I'm a little, shall we say, detached from reality."

"I'd give an arm and a leg to see that. In fact, here, take them."

You are my favorite person in the internet now

touch starved!vessel x touch starved!gn!reader headcanons

so, so much kissing, he leaves you breathless and keeps going after that

you belong to him, all of you

the first time he touched you, you immediately hugged him as tight as you could

vessel couldn't stop kissing your neck, he squeezed your waist and when he wasn't kissing your neck he was roughly making out with you

he likes when you're making out with him and you're trying to pull away, and you try to go backwards but end up going against a wall. so he roughly presses his body against yours, pins you to the wall and keeps kissing you

sex is so goddamn passionate and touchy now, his hands are anywhere he can squeeze, rub, slap, or just run his hands down

has his hands on you whenever he can

soft cuddling too, he plays with your hair and scratches your back

runs his forked tongue over the front of your neck to tease and fluster you

tries his best to soothe your anxiety whenever it becomes too much to handle

@whooshioart

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As of today, we’re opening up submissions to you, dear creators, crafters, Furby customizers.

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We’re so excited to see your work!

New favorite word unlocked:

✨️Don'tn't✨️

So much for bein down bad for luffy, heres sum more doodles that my brain farted out today...

🙋‍♀️ me! i like! no thoughts just happy!

Please dominate me without sex too. Guide me with your hand on the small of my back. Say "yeah?" while I'm talking. Pet my head and coo at me when I do something only a dumb puppy would do. "Speak up doll," when I'm getting shy. Order food for me. Let me sit on your lap.

Let my head go blank when I'm around you because I'm safe with you and thinking is unnecessary.

Luffy / sanji whimpering... I need that sooooooo bad 😭

things op men say in bed

tags: gn! reader x op men, grammar errors i'm sure, suggestive, teasing, boys being whining and taunting (law), light degradation, metions of fem names in shanks

a/n: enjoy ! let me know what else you guys want :D

monkey d. luffy

i see him both being whiny and demanding. sometimes even both at the same time ! ineedtohearhimwhimper

"so t-tight f'me baby.."

"can i eat it?" / "lemme eat it''" / "lemme get a taste.."

"please let me make ya feel good.."

"wanna be inside you.."

"not lettin' you go until 'm satisfied.."

let's out lots of little sighs and chuckles too

trafalgar law

i need him so bad i need him so bad i need him so bad i need him so bad i need him so bad i need him so bad i need him so bad i

"breathe baby, breatheee"

"look at that...fuuucckk baby"

"look at me n say it...who's a good girl/boy?"

"play with it the way i like to watch.."

roronoa zoro

convinced he is rougher most of the time and has a thing for slight degradation. he's such a hard ass

"stay still.."

"you make it look real good don't you.."

"stop bein' so fuckin' loud..."

"gonna fuckin' ruin you.."

"mine. this is all for me. all fuckin' mine.."

moans long strands of "shhhiiiittt~"

vinsmoke sanji

mumbles in french. whines. is not afraid to show his whines and moans. is a slut for you.

"need to be inside of you...please.."

"oh it's so tight baby.."

literally just whines strands of "fuck, fuck, fuck~..."

"ainsi.. si bon mon amour.." (so..so good my love)

"tu es si joli comme ça.." (you look so pretty like this)

"va vous remplir si bien.." (gonna fill you so good)

akagami shanks

i need this man so fucking bad. but don't we all.

"all the way in...that's it mama"

"i know you can go faster.."

"feel my fingers in ther baby.."

says lots of little "mhm's"

"make daddy come...i know you can do it baby..."

"atta girl.."

"bein' so loud for me huh baby?"

"yeah? you like that?"

"feel me right here?" he asks as he pushes on your tummy FUCK

calls you 'sweet pea' and 'mama' ALOT

i love you visible brushstrokes. i love you glue warped scrapbook pages. i love you awkward poems. i love you junk journal with faded receipts. i love you poorly composed journal layout. I love you unintentionally blurry photographs. i love you asymmetrical beading. i love you curling freeform crochet. i love you fingerprints on pottery. i love you reused materials. i love you improvised instruments. i love you mistakes. i love you bravery to make it anyway. i love you creativity that hasn't been wiped clean of every drop of humanity and sanitized and commodified.

Luffy: *sad sigh*

The crew: WHO MADE OUR CAPTAIN SAD?!

The crew would proceed to destroy anything that made their precious captain sad