You Said I Could Send More Asks (and I Just Thought Of This So) What Do You Think Of The Extra Content?

hola me amiga, back again to ask: tilda minyard and her relationship to both of the twins. thoughts?

hello again! 

(cw: abusive parent-child relationship, tilda, twinyards’ pasts)

oh boy. tilda. she is one character that i just. hate. i don’t hate her for putting the twinyards into foster care. i don’t even hate her for only taking aaron back, bc while it’s heartbreaking all around... she couldn’t handle two kids, which is devastating but fair. not telling aaron about andrew was pretty shitty, but again, she couldn’t handle two and aaron would’ve wanted to reunite, so keeping him a secret was maybe what she thought was the least painful.

but god. i hate her so much. 

she was neglectful of aaron his whole childhood and made him feel like a burden. he still loved her, bc kids want to love their parents so desperately. and in return he was met with snarls and insults and silent hatred. the kind where a person can channel their hate as they’re washing dishes roughly or clenching they’re jaw while watching tv. the kind that festers around you and makes the entire environment stifling and toxic. 

and then andrew. i don’t think andrew had it in him any more to care that he was abandoned. the fact that tilda abandoned him and kept aaron may have stung slightly, but ultimately, he would’ve shoved that down as just another shitty thing in his shitty life and moved on. 

however. 

tilda started to become violent when higgins told them about andrew. she’d been abusive the whole time, but now it was physical as well. and there’s no way aaron didn’t associate that negativity with andrew, even only subconsciously, before he even met him. 

and then andrew was reunited, which tilda had tried to avoid all along. and andrew saw how abusive she was and told aaron he could take care of it, and he did. and aaron despised him for it. because he still loved his mom. because he was still so desperate for the love that came out in fractured fractions from time to time. 

tilda is, ultimately, why the twinyards have such a shitty relationship. she’s the reason aaron had such a shitty childhood. (i don’t think it’s 100% fair to blame all of andrew’s on her, because while she is why he’s there, she wasn’t the actual abuser for him. she doesn’t haunt his nightmares). 

tilda shattered the twinyards and did nothing to put them back together. and i will never forgive her for it. 

“Neil watched the airport disappear, watched signs blur outside the window, and let his eyes close. When he opened them again, he was flat on his back on Wymack’s couch.” (ch.16, trk)

wymack carried neil up to his apartment. wymack carried neil up to his apartment. WYMACK CARRIED NEIL UP TO HIS APARTMENT. 

i will forever be crying about this. it’s such a father-son thing to do?? he must’ve been so small in wymack’s arms. and neil is so familiar w wymack’s place that he didn’t even panic when he woke up on his couch, despite having just gotten back from evermore. 

also, and this is very important:

“Clad in jean shorts and a faded tee, Wymack looked more like a garage band rocker than a university coach.” (ch.1, tfc)

WYMACK. WEARS. JORTS. we make fun of neil for it all the time but PLS CAN WE STOP OVERLOOKING THIS OMFG. wymack wears a wife-beater when he first sees neil and jorts the second time. iconic. what a man. 

on the one hand, saying “make me” and refusing to kneel when tetsuji told him to is iconic. on the other hand, neil knew he’d be there for two more weeks and he still purposely antagonized him???? very in character but what the f u c k

i just finished reading ‘scared to live (but I’m scared to die)’ by Major_816, so now I’ve got raven Neil ticking at the back of my brain 24/7

I always thought Andrew's big tips were actually for the drugs??? Like to pay them in an inconspicuous way??? The cracker dust at sweetie's and the drug for neil at eden's (also wasn't it aaron who paid in the first sweetie's scene???)

the very excessive tips at sweetie’s were definitely for the cracker dust! but in chapter 9 of the raven king, when all the foxes go to columbia together for halloween, there’s the quote: “Nicky's friendship with the staff and Andrew's generous tips got them instant access and ridiculous discounts on drinks”. so i guess it’s only really confirmed that he tips well at eden’s, but i’m assuming he’d do the same at sweetie’s (even without the cracker dust), especially since they continue to go there after andrew’s deal to quit using the cracker dust. plus, nicky worked there as a host before getting his job at eden’s (it says that in chapter 12 of trk) which would be even more incentive to leave good tips :)

(i think you’re right about aaron paying for sweetie’s and the drugs in tfc. maybe they take turns paying? regardless, he left lots of tips too so i bet they’re just all really generous tippers!)

love your hcs!!!! do you think you write one about the legacy neil left at palmetto and with the foxes. like he goes back when wymack retires. and next to where he carved his and andrews initials into the bed post just before andrew left, there’s other foxes initials and he sort of unknowingly created a tradition. or like eventually he gets his old exy racquet back from the cops and it sits at the court and before a game he slapped it so so did the rest of the team and has become a team ritual

hi anon - thank you so much! sorry for the delay, this week has really been something skhdskgjhd but i hope you enjoy <3 i had lots of fun with this :) 

years down the line, wymack is retiring (dan will be taking over for him)

neil and andrew are still playing pro together, but there’s a lull in their training and it’s nearing the end of the collegiate exy season, so they drive to palmetto together

andrew says he’s only going because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the cats alone

“you were alone with them for two weeks last year”

andrew pretends he doesn’t hear him

and then neil and andrew are standing outside wymack’s apartment, unannounced, and he grumbles that “at least you didn’t break in this time” but there’s fondness in his tone and he ushers them in

they have a night of comfortable chatter and silences, and andrew grabs the alcohol from the same cabinet it’s always been in. it’s familiar, and neil falls asleep on wymack’s couch with a smile on his face and andrew curled up on top of next to him 

and the next day, neil and andrew go to fox tower, and they walk the stairs that they know as well as they know each other

they get to the third floor, and a small group of foxes is leaving their dorm room, the one that used to belong to neil and andrew, when they see the two and just. freeze. 

it’s nothing new to be recognized by fans, but it’s weird for it to happen somewhere that feels like home. they tolerate it and ask if they could go into their old dorm room

the young foxes scramble to let them in and frantically pick up clothes and throw away trash to give the room some semblance of tidiness. neil and andrew don’t care

the bean bag chairs are gone, but there are still faint ash stains on the windowsill, and the crystal-clear memories of long since faded moments wash over neil

they drift over to the bedroom, and the young foxes leave them be as they silently make their way to the bunk. neil gingerly sits down onto his old mattress, andrew right beside him

andrew catches neil’s attention by tracing the carvings of their initials on the bed post, then trailing his finger down an array of other scrawled letters below. other initials, carved by foxes who came after them, and a smile ghosts over neil’s face because,,, he stopped running and he left solid evidence behind and people actually continued it after he was gone ?? and it’s such a weird thought but he loves it 

he asks the young foxes if there’s anything else that continued after he left

they show him the roof, fitted with new locks that have also since been sabotaged. it looks like their secret spot was less secret than they thought, but at least someone’s still enjoying it

they proudly demonstrate how they’ve all memorized neil’s riko roast which baffles him because that was never even televised ?? where did they hear it ????

andrew ofc will never tell him that he transcribed it when nicky asked him to. he doesn’t even really know why he listened, so there’s no way he’s ever going to try to explain it to neil

all of them have orange bandanas, which is a tradition that started neil’s second year and has apparently continued ever since

they don’t know that that’s where it started so they don’t mention it, but neil noticed from games 

they take neil and andrew to the court and show them the two lucky racquets (the drake one they got back from evidence when the case was closed and the one andrew used to shatter riko’s arm) and they all absent-mindedly tap them on their way in

it used to be a thing the foxes would only do before games, but slowly spread to. every single time they go to the court

apparently it’s also become custom for them to link arms on to way back to the bus after games, after neil’s kidnapping from binghampton

it took a while for them to get the order of the line right bc if they’re not careful, their attempt at keeping each other safe becomes a fist fight

bonus (not one of neil’s legacies): dan’s photo wall continues! they don’t ever take down pictures of the older foxes, just keep squeezing more pictures in. it expands beyond only one wall to every wall of the foyer, and they’re still having trouble finding room. sometimes they have to pile photos on top of each other

they also mention that movie nights are still a thing! they’re bi-weekly, and they always try to find a classic movie that at least one of the foxes has never seen bc of a shitty childhood

night practices are also still happening. not everyone goes every night, but a couple of the keeners do

“junkies”

neil is,,, stunned, honestly. he didn’t ever imagine he could have this concrete of an impact, didn’t think he could keep existing in a place even after he left it

before, he’d never wanted to be remembered. the idea slowly became more bearable over the years, but this is,,, he never expected anything like this

it’s overwhelming and it’s wonderful and he loves it

and later that night, neil and andrew go up to their rooftop (there are two young foxes up there that scurry away as soon as they realize who stepped onto the roof) 

and as they look out over the city, hands linked, neil’s heart feels so light and he can’t get rid of - doesn’t want to get rid of - the smile that seems to be glued to his face, even through the pang of nostalgia - another new feeling

and neil and andrew sit under the comforting blanket of the night and talk into the darkness

just like old times

and it’s comfortable and familiar and once upon a time, neil wished that it would never end

but now? now, neil knows that while he may leave,,, this will never end. not really

as he sits under the stars next to the man with whom he will spend the rest of his life, neil knows the memories and whispers of the past live on through love and legacies

i don’t think neil ever really let himself fully come to terms with and grieve for his mother’s death. he just kept running and couldn’t stop, and he didn’t really have time to think about it with everything that went on during his freshman year. plus like... he was constantly casually looking for blood under his nails?? like this boy needs some serious help oh man

Truth is irrefutable and untainted by bias. Sunrise, Abram, death, queer kids googling 'am i gay quiz': these are truths

when jean told neil that “fun is for children” at the winter banquet, he probably actually believed what he was saying. i doubt this traumatized man has genuinely had fun since he was a kid back in france - and even then it was probably rare bc let’s be real, if your parents sell you to the yakuza to pay off debts, it’s unlikely they provided a childhood full of sunshine

andrew “stood with his back to the car, one arm propped on the hood and the other draped along the top of his door” (tkm, ch. 1) and i stg andrew bought a low expensive car simply for the Aesthetic and the Drama, you can’t convince me otherwise