totally-correct-ofmd

Latest Posts by totally-correct-ofmd

Stede: Let's talk about some of the emotions you may be feeling right now.

Fang: Stabbing.

Stede: Stabbing is more of an activity.

Stede: That I hope you don't do to me.

[Izzy and Lucius reaching for a burger at the same time, their hands touch, their eyes meet]

Lucius: Hey, this is kinda gay-

Izzy: Get the fuck off my McDonald's.

Ed: [deep sigh]

Ed: [takes off cowboy hat and plops down in the dirt]

Ed: [starts filling his cowboy hat with little rocks]

Ed: Feelings, huh?

Wee John: Roach just said 'I have an appetite for destruction' then leaned down and untied my shoe.

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Oluwande: Ah, yeah, the five love languages.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] My parents never told me they were proud of me.

Oluwande: [points to Lucius] I'm so fucking tired, let me rest for five minutes.

Oluwande: [points to Roach] I love stuff.

Oluwande: [points to Frenchie] Please pay attention to me.

Oluwande: [points to Stede] Touch starved.

Stede: Come on, Oluwande-

Stede: Why did I get two?

Stede: I think you're still suffering from the effects of the party last night.

Ed: All I drank was Redbull!

Stede: How many?

Ed:

Ed: Eighteen.

Oluwande: Tell me your wildest fantasy.

Jim: I'm on Wheel of Fortune and I spin the wheel so hard it lights on fire.

Oluwande: I meant like-

Jim: Everyone claps.

The Swede: It's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it?

Oluwande: That's the back of the map.

Jim: I'm not a bad guy!

Jim: It's me! [rips off disguise]

Oluwande, who helped them into the disguise: [gasps in shock]

Oluwande: Oh, right, I forgot for a second.

Black Pete: GOD you're so clingy.

Lucius: YOU came into MY bed???

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]

Izzy: Edward, we've been looking all over for you. You can't just leave a sign on your desk that says "gone leavin'".

[pulling up to another ship to attack]

Stede: Why are we doing this again?

Lucius: The crew says 'Go big or go home'.

Stede: Right then, let's do this!

[The Revenge goes right past the other ship]

Lucius: Uhhh, where are we going?

Stede: Home? Wasn't that one of the options?

Ivan: We gotta distract these guys.

Izzy: Leave it to me.

Izzy, to the Revenge Crew: Centaurs have 6 limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

The crew: [immediately starts arguing]

Stede, after 3 minutes of silence: You don't have to use the chopsticks just to impress me.

Ed, trying to pick up his soda with chopsticks: I told you I got this.

[introduction to the crew]

Stede, to Ed: Basically, the policy here is: if you SEE something, SAY something.

Roach: I saw a frog.

Stede: OUTSTANDING. This is what I'm talking about.

Oluwande: Frenchie offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.

Oluwande: I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of Baja Blast Mountain Dew at 7 in the morning.

Lucius, describing Stede to a store clerk: He's about this tall, blonde hair, dark eyes.... [raises voice] and he looks horrible in teal!

Stede, from the wine aisle: NO I DON'T

Izzy, Fang, and Ivan: [arguing]

Blackbeard: [slaps arm on the table] WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP. ACT LIKE IT.

Mary: What do you want to be for Halloween, Stede?

Stede: Loved.

Mary: don't do this

[playing Among Us]

Frenchie, the Imposter: It's Pete!

Pete: What?! I was with Lucius the whole time!

Lucius: It's Pete.

Black Pete: If you ever see me re-parking 500 times, mind your own business.

[as ghost hunters]

Oluwande: I think a ghost just grabbed my ass!

Ghost: It wasn't me, it was Jim.

Jim: what the fuck dude

Stede: Okay, let's all actually sleep now.

The crew:

The crew:

Roach, softly: The snack that smiles back-

The crew: GOLDFISH

Stede: goddamnit

[at the store]

Ed, getting ready to pay: Is it a swipey swipe?

Stede: No, it's a chippy chip.

Izzy, behind them: UGH

[on a deserted island]

Izzy, in his journal: Day 1. Alone. Mentally sound, doing well. Met a crab.

Izzy: Day 2. I have married the crab.

Izzy: Day 3. I have eaten my wife.

Oluwande: Whenever Jim is mad at me, I tighten the lids on all the jars so they have to get help from me.

[glass breaks in the background]

Oluwande: It hasn't worked yet, but it'll happen.

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.

Blackbeard: Gotta keep it profesh, you know?

Izzy: Yes, because that's what all professionals do: they call it 'profesh.'