02.03.23

If I won't get to go on a bookstore + tea date with my homies this autumn, what even is the point.

I seek for the universe yet it does not seek me back; a travesty, it called me.

The moon weeped the stars alive, and then me. It weeped me alive.

So mon amour, I am not just any travesty, but the moon's.

I am the moon's travesty.

I am not lost;

I just don't wish to find.

not anymore...

The thought was this: that all my life had been murk and depths, but I was not a part of that dark water. I was a creature within it.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

I want to forget.

I love the creased spines of paperbacks, and I'm pretty sure the book wears those creases with pride; "I have not just been read, I have been devoured"

“You have always been the worst of my children,” he said. “Be sure to not dishonor me.”

“I have a better idea. I will do as I please, and when you count your children, leave me out.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

Make it stop

"The old gods may be great, but they are neither kind nor merciful. They are fickle, unsteady as moonlight on water, or shadows in a storm. If you insist on calling them, take heed: be careful what you ask for, be willing to pay the price. And no matter how desperate or dire, never pray to the gods that answer after dark."

- the invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab

Icarus has abandoned me:

The cosmos cries comets, the moon bleeds lullabies, and here i am, icarus; i, who can bear the quarrels of fate and time no more. you sought the sun, but did the sun seek you back? does it mourn you, or am i the only one doing that?

Who's stars am i aligning, are they mine? certainly that is what i was told (did you not tell me that, icarus) . those promises that I kept safe so dearly in my pockets, how did they find me? who am i to chase after the remarkable  (i thought i could, in the name of you, icarus).

i, who sought icarus, can hear him no more. i am searching. where are you?

it is your time to find me, icarus; search for me. heal me. answer me.