Slacking Off In The Name Of Self Care Is Not Okay. Sometimes, The Best Thing That You Can Do For Yourself

i no longer find the need to explain myself or the vast multitudes i contain.

some times what i feel is much too big, somehow entirely intangible and incomprehensible for the world at face value and i have made my peace with it.

i do, however, have a habit of leaving clues as footnotes, in digressions, in parentheses, and annotations in margins.

only those that pay attention may understand.

You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

🌻 study update 🌻

Pictures from yesterday

🌱okie so today, I felt like shit, I had about one hour of sleep :( however, I didn't listen to that tiredness and did some physics hehe. I'm really proud of myself.

When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

When Sylvia plath said, "why can't I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which fits best and is more becoming" ; and when Ocean Vuong said, "you would tell them that the most useful thing one can do with empty hands is hold on" jwjwuwjwwjwbbevevegehbe im gonna go overdose on chai now, bye.

I wish 2021 never happened.

And then all of a sudden, it feels like January again, and you're all alone in that blanket of yours, dreaming of sunsets, stardust and peace.

But books, like people, die. They die in fires or floods or in the mouths of worms or at the whims of tyrants. If they are not safeguarded, they go out of the world. And when a book goes out of the world, the memory dies a second death.

- cloud cuckoo land

I accepted because mysterious ladies offering bourbon under the stars is very much my aesthetic.

- Erin Morgenstern, The Starless Sea.

Death is a strange thing. People live their whole lives as if it does not exist, and yet it's often one of the great motivations for living. Some of us, in time, become so conscious of it that we live harder, more obstinately, with more fury. Some need its constant presence to even be aware of its antithesis. Others become so preoccupied with it that they go into the waiting room long before it has announced its arrival. We fear it, yet most of us fear more than anything that it may take someone other than ourselves. For the greatest fear of death is always that it will pass us by. And leave us there alone.

- Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove