Harris Choosing Tim Walz As Her Running Mate Sets A Dangerous Precedent That Democrats Might Do Cool

You’ve probably wondered what the title of this blog means. I probably should’ve gotten around to explaining it to you a while ago.   

“Avere grill per la testa” literally translates to “to have a head full of crickets” in Italian. 

Sometime in the late spring of 2017, I was in a gift shop somewhere. I found a small, rectangular book called “The Illustrated Book of Sayings: Curious Expressions from around the World.” It was published by Ella Frances Sanders, in 2016. I really wanted this book, because it was around this time I was developing a passion for linguistics, words, and the all-around coolness of language. Either way, the book was charming, and I borrowed some money from my dad. 

“Avere grilli per la testa.” To have a head full of crickets. 

What struck me about this phrase, when I stumbled upon its entry, was it’s compelling word choice. Apparently, whoever came up with it didn’t think it was enough to say that someone is dreamy, or has a short attention span. Nope - there are jumpy insects inside their head, and that’s what makes them so imaginative. Welcome to Italy, m-effers.   

This describes me perfectly: dreamy, distracted, creative, semi-ADD. I’m prone to flights of fancy, so much that I struggle to cool down or get myself organized. There’s a whole lot of fluff and bulls*t in my head (f you’ll pardon my French); my thoughts jump all over the place. Maybe that explains the boxes of filled notebooks in my closet. Good traits, since I strive to be a good writer; bad traits, since I have a mother.   

In another way, it captures the content on this blog - my endless thoughts, opinions, and ideas, all thrown together in one place. My varied interests and passions, channeled into the mini-essays you see here. There are many things I’d like to talk and write about, to organize in a constructive way. After all, if there’s that much going on up here, why not share it with all of you?   

Also, it’s linguistic trivia. I love me some linguistic trivia.

Happy Monday - I hope you’re enjoying your day off. This weekend, I was with my mom and brother up in Wells, Vermont, staying in our modest family cabin for a few nights. On Saturday night, the nearby Larson Farm hosted their annual Columbus Day weekend party, with friends and townspeople coming in for a potluck, dance, and auction. My family and I have been going up for years. 

After everyone had grabbed some dinner and apple pie, the patriarch of the farm, Rich Larson, stood up on a wagon and explained to us the premises of the auction. He’s told the same story every year as long as I can remember: Over a decade ago, a young man from Uganda had come to live with him and his family. One night at dinner, Rich was asking him about his home, and the Ugandan education system came up.Their guest explained that school in Uganda is free - however, a family would need to purchase a school uniform and basic supplies to actually be able to enroll their child. For primary school students to get the necessary goods, that’s 35 US dollars; for a secondary school student, that’s around $60; for university, it’s $100. With those steep expenses, most families were unable to send their child to school. (Those prices have gone up in the past decade. These are relevant to the story, though with my addled memory I might be getting them wrong too. Go do some additional research if you’re interested.) 

  Rich and his family wanted to do something about that. So they joined the Uganda School Project, and every year since they’ve had an auction to send the money to families and students in Uganda. Paintings, farm antiques, plants, hats - it’s all on the table, and Rich’s son does that entertaining auctioneer voice. I stood with my mom in the crowd, still not allowed to bid, but watching with excitement.  At one point, Rich’s daughter and someone else got into a bidding war over two floral watercolors - the price went up to $250 dollars before the friend at the back of the crowd won. That night, over $3,000 were raised - all to go directly to the fund. 

  Rich told us in the barn that “The way we’re going to reach world peace is if everyone in the community is self-reliant and self-sustainable, and the best way to get to that point is to provide everyone with a good education.” Everyone cheered, and that was definitely a source of motivation that evening. Even better, one of the items actioned off was actually made by a university student from Uganda - after graduating, the young man had started his own business weaving prayer rugs, and making sandals out of old tires. The best part? His $100 tuition was payed by the money raised at the auction a few years back. Rich climbed up on the wagon next to his son to tell us that we were responsible for that young man’s success. 

  When people near and far get together to help others and better their communities, what is achieved benefits everyone. Rich Larson was absolutely correct in his message about world peace - education is the single most powerful weapon that can be used to better the world. And for those of us already blessed with that tool, it’s our job to give that same gift to others - just what the Larsons and their guests have been doing for over a decade. If a single farm in a tiny Vermont town can put dozens of kids in school each year, what impact can this blog have? Or you, for that matter?

I hope this makes you feel better.

It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t in the wrong place at the wrong time, wearing the wrong clothes in front of the wrong people, living the wrong person in the wrong life.

It wasn’t because you were born to suffer through that, or because something about you seems to say they have a right, because they don’t.

You have the right to your body, your mind, your lips, your breasts, the space between your hips. You have the right to the word no, to your defensive fists, to your shoving hands, to your screams and sobs for help. You have the right to let those tears fall, to let yourself mourn  for something that is not normal, nor justified, nor appropriate, nor kind, nor acceptable, nor right. You are your own person, and I wish you all the happiness, acceptance, and peace you are infinitely deserving of.

You are not wrong. They are wrong, as are those who taught them such behavior. They are wrong in their actions, and you have the right to call them out on it. You have the right to speak about it, to not feel ashamed or at fault. You have the right to find people who will listen to you, respect you for your pains, and love you in the way that makes you comfortable.

It is not normal. It is not okay. It is not because of you or your gender or the situation. It is them, and they are wrong, and always do what makes you comfortable and happy in the future.

Seek help. Seek support. Seek love. Seek confidence and comfort, in all aspects of yourself and your life. You deserve it, and you’ll find people who care. Someone loves you.

You will persevere. You will wake up one morning and realize that you can go on. You will count your blessings in the morning, list your aspirations at noon, and remember your virtues at night. You have something for all three. Read. Breathe. Sleep. Clear your mind of negativity. Smile. You have so much to live for, and we’ll be rooting for you.

Look at your reflection. Put your hands on your hips. Say to yourself, in whatever language or wording or way, “There is something glorious on the other side of the storm.”

Stay strong, my beautiful friend. You are deserving of so much more than they ever showed you. Don’t forget your strengths and talents in the time you’ll need them most.

Have a good day. I admire your ability to rise above the stormclouds.

“Words have the power to change the world, and that realization inspires me everyday.” ~Amanda Gorman

Barbara Stanwyck showing how to deal with creeps who invade your personal space

Universal Declaration of Human Rights (simplified form): 

We Are All Born Free & Equal. We are all born free, with our own thoughts and opinions. We should all be treated the same. 

Don’t Discriminate. These rights are everybody’s, regardless of our differences. 

The Right to Life. We all have the right to our lives, and to live in freedom and safety. 

No Slavery. Nobody has the right to subject us to slavery. We cannot make another person our slave. 

No Torture. Nobody has the right to hurt or to torture us. 

You Have Rights No Matter Where You Go. I am a person just like you. 

We’re All Equal Before the Law. The law is the same for everyone, and it must treat us all fairly. 

Your Human Rights Are Protected by Law. We can all ask for the law to help us when we are not treated fairly. 

No Unfair Detainment. Nobody has the right to put us in prison or send us away from our country without good reason. 

The Right to Trial. If we are put on trial, it should be in public. The people who try us shouldn’t let anyone tell them what to do. 

We’re Always Innocent Till Proven Guilty. Nobody should be blamed for doing something until it is proven. When people say we did a bad thing we have the right to prove it is not true. 

The Right to Privacy. Nobody should try to harm our good name. Nobody has the right to come into our home, read our letters, or bother us or our family without a good reason. 

Freedom to Move. We all have the right to go where we want in our own country, and to travel as we wish. 

The Right to Seek a Safe Place to Live. If we are frightened of being treated badly in our own country, we all have the right to go to another country to be safe. 

Right to a Nationality. We all have the right to belong to a country, and to be granted citizenship. 

Marriage and Family. Every grown-up has the right to marry and raise a family if they choose to. Men and women have the same rights when they are married and when they are separated. 

The Right to Your Own Things. Everyone has the right to own things or share them. Nobody should take our possessions from us without a good reason. 

Freedom of Thought. We all have the right to believe in what we want to believe, to have a religion, and to change it if we wish. 

Freedom of Expression. We all have the right to make up our own minds, to think what we like, to say what we think, and to share our ideas with others. The Right to Public Assembly. We all have the right to meet others and to work together peacefully to defend our rights. Nobody can make us join or leave a group if we don’t want to. 

The Right to Democracy. We all have the right to take part in the governance of our country. Every grown-up should be allowed to choose their own leaders and to vote. 

Social Security. We all have the right to affordable housing, medicine, education, and childcare. We all have the right to enough money to live on and medical help if we are ill, old, or disabled. 

Workers’ Rights. Every grown-up has the right to do a job, to have a fair wage for their work, and to join a trade union. 

The Right to Play. We all have the right to rest from work and to relax. 

Food and Shelter for All. We all have the right to a good life and necessary goods. Mothers, children, people who are old, unemployed or disabled, and all people have the right to be cared for. Everyone should have access to what they need to have a good life. 

The Right to Education. Education is a right. Primary school should be free, so that all young people can get an education. We should learn about the United Nations and how to get along with others. Our parents and guardians can choose what we learn. 

Copyright. Copyright is a special law that protects one’s own artistic creations and writings; others cannot make copies without permission. We all have the right to our own way of life, and to enjoy the good things that art, science and learning bring. 

A Fair and Free World. There must be proper order so everyone can enjoy rights and freedoms in their own country, and anywhere else. 

Responsibility. We have a duty to others as well as ourselves, and we should protect others’ rights as well as our own. 

No One Can Take Away Your Human Rights. 

In December of 1948, the United Nations officially adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, as Resolution 217 at the Palais de Chaillot in Paris, France. It was created to ensure safety, security, and freedom for all people. At the time, there were 58 members of the UN. 48 voted in favor, with zero opposed, while eight abstained and two didn’t vote. The articles were drafted by representatives from all over the globe, from all backgrounds, and the document has been translated into over 500 languages since.   

The United Nations was founded after WWII, in 1945, to ensure that such a horrific conflict would never again occur. In San Francisco, CA, 51 countries gathered to sign the Charter, officially creating the United Nations. Out of the 247 existing countries and territories, 193 are currently part of the UN. It’s objective is to protect everyone’s human rights, support sustainable development, and provide humanitarian aid and resources. Since then, it’s members and volunteers have been working with governments worldwide to maintain international security and peace. 

Each of these rights is important, and serves a purpose to benefit the lives of all people. Everyone is entitled to each of them, and is therefore an equal of everyone else. We’re all a part of the larger human race, and must respect and be kind to each other regardless of who we are and where we come from. Our differences make us who we are, and what makes this planet, 7 billion strong, so diverse and beautiful. It’s our job to give back to others.

Here’s the thing fam-

You have to decide if you want to be one of the best, or the best. 

The fact is, there’s gonna be a lot of people in you’re life who will get the same grades and credit and praise and points, but who aren’t the best people. They can be rude, vapid, inconsiderate, myopic, or just not very nice; plenty of people like that will get the credit you deserve. But they’re not the best - you are. You are a person with a big, beautiful heart. You’re hardworking, talented, conscientious, and kind; it’s people like you who should get the best in life. But you’re the only one who can make that happen. You, for the sake of everyone, need to commit to being one tough cookie: don’t let them get the best of you, get the best of yourself. Be the best version of yourself that you can be. Make sure that you get everything other people get, that you do everything other people do, and more. Don’t cheat yourself.  

And the people I mentioned above? The one’s who don’t hold a candle to you? The goal isn’t to stop them; it’s to not let them stop you.

Small Steps #3: Tea Edition

Here’s a few extra tips for your morning routine, if you’re a tea-drinking environmentalist like me:

Use a ceramic mug rather than a paper or styrofoam cup.

Rinse and reuse mugs, rather than sending them right to the dishwasher

Try to use tea bags that aren’t attached to string and paper. A little less material going into the trash.

Compost tea bags after use (not the string and paper - cut those off). Ripping the bag helps the decomposition process.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the smallest habits build a greater impact than we think. If we keep at them day after day, it adds up, the same way a short drive to the supermarket contributes to the amount of greenhouse gases in our atmosphere.

Some people look down on the environmentally friendly actions we can take, especially when they appear too small to matter. “You just want to feel like you’re doing something” - but I am. We tend to discredit small acts of conservation, because they don’t seem to make a dent. But such an assumption is dangerously arrogant. Each of us can do something, and we must.

The queer community is it’s own worst enemy.   

It’s gay men and lesbians against bisexual people, who “just need to choose.” Angry spitfires who say asexual people aren’t really part of the community, aren’t really human. Cisgendered queers who degrade and dehumanize trans and non binary people.   

We put each other in boxes. We tell one another that there’s something false about that person’s LGBTQ+ identity. We say “you don’t belong, you have to fit into this cookie cutter. You can’t be that one, or none at all.” There’s always something wrong with you, but if you were to be something else, then you’ll be part of the community. We’ll finally get equal rights, if only you change. 

Get married, adopt kids. Don’t be poor, don’t be disabled, don’t be a person of color. You can be queer, but not too much, because then they won’t help us. You’ll scare them away. You can come under the umbrella, but if you’re this-or-that, we’ll push you out into the rain. 

This is what assimilation does to people. It pits them against each other, because everyone is holding themselves to a standard of a people that is not their own. And it isn’t just the LGBTQ+ community that does it. 

 ~ “You’re dark skinned - you’re not as good, not as clean, as people with light skin.”   ~ “You’re light skinned - you’re not black enough. Who do you think you are?” 

 ~ “You speak Spanish, so you’re living in the past; you aren’t ‘American’ enough.”  ~ “You don’t speak Spanish, so you aren’t in touch with you’re Latinx roots.” 

And round and round in circles. No one is safe, no one is free. There are too many eyes, too many boxes, and so an identity is scattered like loose change. A people forgets that they are all the same blood, in an effort to dilute it. This is what assimilation does to a people. Society hurts the community, which hurts the individual. All people, vs. your people, vs. you. 

To be queer is to be gifted with an eye-opening experience that never truly ends. It’s a life-long journey of discovery, about who you are and how you want to express that. It’s a description, not a definition. The LGBTQ+ community is vibrant, diverse, and all-encompassing. To be a part of it is to belong, to learn, and to gain friendship. It spans the globe, it brings out the best in people. Your never really stop seeing it’s beauty.   

But it’s made to be something else. It’s told it must be a set of easily identified categories. Queer people are told that they must fit one of these categories, and stick to it. Their identity must be a tight package to fit into. It must be easily understood and easily explained, because God forbid we confuse anyone! And so the queer individual suffers. 

And when the person suffers, so does the community.