the one n only
nobody ever talk to me again kaiser spoke
✧ soaring high above, watching over you ✧
“As soon as we succeed in transforming ourselves, the world will melt magically before our eyes and reshape itself in harmony with that which our transformation affirms.” - Neville Goddard, No One To Change But Self
What we're going to cover:
What is Self Concept
Advantages of investing in your self concept
You are God
What does an ideal self concept look like?
How to acquire an excellent self concept
Maintaining your self concept
How to know if your self concept is perfect or needs improvement
What to do
Warning: this post is long
I. Introduction/ What is Self Concept
This is genuinely one of if not the most important topic you’ll ever educate yourself on in regards to the law of assumption so I’m gonna need your full, undivided attention. Okay? Let’s start.
Some of the most frequently asked questions I receive as a law of assumption blog are always: How can I manifest instantly? How can I know my desires are coming? How can I feel like my manifestation is mine? How can I feel it real/know it’s coming? Two words: Self Concept.
Self concept is how you see yourself in relation to the world and how you see the world in relation to you. What does that mean? Let me explain.
How you see yourself in relation to the world - who you think you are and established notions that have been cultivated through your upbringing, how secure you feel about yourself and how that’s exhibited as you interact with others as well as how you carry yourself on a day-to-day basis
How you see the world in relation to you - what you think others think about you and how you expect people to treat you, the beliefs you have about the world you live in and how they manifest into your life experiences
The assumptions you have carried up until this point have been shaped by your surroundings and life experiences. If you were bullied growing up you may have convinced yourself that you’re not good looking, not smart and not deserving of good things or perhaps you think the world is nothing but suffering and bad things are always happening to you. Maybe you’ve had several bad experiences in life which you fixated on and consequently adapted the “I’m gonna expect the worst case scenario to happen so in the chance it does I won’t feel disappointed”. Since our 3D is shaped by our assumptions they will inevitably manifest. You’ve had thoughts running on autopilot about yourself and your world that you’ve accepted as truths. By working on your self concept you are essentially throwing out an nonserving mindset and replacing it with a more favorable, practical and fruitful one.
When you have a good self concept, every facet of manifesting will fall into place, you’ll feel much more centered mentally and life simply becomes better! The world around you is a mirror of the world within you and it will inevitably reflect back to you what you think about yourself and what you think about your world.
“Consciousness is the one and only reality. We are incapable of seeing other than the contents of our own consciousness.” - No One To Change But Self
Your self concept is the key to unlocking all of your desires. Literally. The relevance of a strong self concept within the law of assumption is imperative because when you know you are God, you know you can do and have whatever you want and there’s nothing in this world that is out of your reach. When you acquire this sense of power, you will be devoid of doubts and setbacks and your desires will come to you with ease! Don’t believe me? Take a look at all of the people who have acquired results as a direct cause of investing in their self concept
II. Advantages of investing in your self concept
Self concept is so exciting to work on because it’ll help you embody your unlimited potential! When you work on your self concept you will no longer deal with:
Victim mentality - Instead of seeing yourself as someone who always has bad things constantly happen to them you’ll see yourself as THE one on the pedestal, the one who is loved and respected and admired, You hold yourself accountable for your life and what goes on around it.
Sᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴅɪsᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ: Aɴʏ ᴅɪsᴄᴜssɪᴏɴs ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅɪɴɢ ᴇɪʏᴘᴏ, ᴠɪᴄᴛɪᴍ ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟɪᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀɴɪꜰᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙᴀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴀʙsᴏʟᴜᴛᴇʟʏ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇ ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴄᴇs ᴏꜰ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ᴏʀ ᴀʙᴜsᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴋɪɴᴅ.
“Aware of what your senses and reason dictate, you may believe that you are limited, unwanted, ignored, and mistreated; and your world confirms your belief in your imaginal activity. And if you do not know that your awareness is causing this mistreatment, you will blame everyone but yourself; yet I tell you the only cause of the phenomena of life is an imaginal activity. There is no other cause.” - Believe It In
Wishful thinking - You know how you’ve always wanted to be this or do that? You can! Or how you always wanted to play the guitar? You can! Date your celebrity crush? Doable! Look exactly like Jennie? No problem! Study abroad in your dream ivy league university? Yup! Even with a terrible GPA? Even with a terrible GPA! Nothinggggg is out of reach and when I say that I’m dead serious! You no longer need to think about how nice it would be if you could travel, draw, sing, dance whatever it is it can be yours!
Regrets - If you’re someone who resents the past for any reason because you feel like you didn’t have a great high school experience or because you missed out on a huge opportunity let me just say… It means nothing. Seriously, you can revise, you can time travel back to the past and relive it as you would have liked, whatever it is now that you know just how powerful you are as God you realize that resentment and regret don’t need to be an issue anymore! As I will repeat multiple times in this post you are in control of every single aspect of your reality. Past, present and future. Time isn’t real and whatever it is you feel like you missed out on you can have it, you can do it, you can be it.
Insecurities and jealousy - Gone are the days of you seeing some girl on Instagram you want to look like. No more wishing you could also be as artistically gifted like that person on TikTok. Bye bye to desperately wishing you could achieve your goals. Who cares whatever x person is doing, where they’re vacationing at or who they’re dating. You can have it all too!
Being treated poorly - If you assume that the people around you often screw you over, leave you, lie to you and so on, that will be exactly what you experience. With a good self concept, you will be treated with love and respect by others because you’ll come to understand that since the people in your reality have no free will, you can determine how they see you and how they behave with you!
Desires on the pedestal - When your desire is on a pedestal it means that you either see it as above you, out of reach or as something you don’t deserve. Whatever it is, know that you CAN have it and you DO deserve it. Nothing is on a pedestal when you realize just how easily you can attain it. There is no such thing as a “big” or “small” manifestation. Manifesting a $47 million mansion in Beverly Hills is just as easy as manifesting a Costco hot dog with ketchup. I don’t care what it is or how “hard” it would be for the average person to acquire. Just say the word.
Impatience - A LOT of y’all struggle with this and I understand. You want your desires NOW and you are DONE waiting. What if I told you that it is absolutely up to you when you get your desires. Yes. You can determine how long it takes, whether it’s a month, a week or a minute. You get to decide that and before you ask me how the short answer is you need to believe that you can. How can you believe that you can? Through self concept!
III. You are God
“I urge you not to limit yourself to a little body of flesh and blood, for you are spirit. Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, so one day you must take it off. And he who takes it off is immortal. He is your own wonderful human imagination who is God, the Father of all life. When you learn to live this way, life becomes so exciting. Your days are full and you are never alone...I close my eyes and travel the world…It expands me and makes me become more aware of the infinite being that I really am.” - Brazen Impudence
When I say you’re God I mean it literally. It’s not a figure of speech baby, you ARE GOD. You are powerful, divine and limitless. You can manifest whateeeeever the hell you want and nothing is out of reach for you. It means that your desires are inevitable because nothing can interfere with the commandment of God. If you need further context for the God thing stop and think for a second about what God cannot do... Nothing. Because God is omnipotent. God can do ANYTHING, God can HAVE anything and God can BE anything. There are NO limits to what you can do!
Nonchalance - (of a person or manner) feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm. When you know you’re God, you’re always feeling calm and relaxed because manifesting something is as easy as deciding that it’s yours.
No more surrendering your power to external sources, okay? - As God, YOU are the one in control of everything around you. Cancel that tarot appointment, delete Co—Star and The Pattern, they do not define you nor do they get to dictate your life in any way. YOU get to decide who you are and what goes on in your life. The future is not predetermined and neither is your personality. External sources are not necessary. Think of it as hiring a tutor for your mother tongue… very unnecessary and very silly. Why would you seek something else to help you on something you can do yourself?
It is logical for God to do the illogical - To label anything as "impossible" is to severely discredit yourself. Whether it’s having bright purple eyes, bringing back someone who’s passed away, breathing underwater, becoming immortal, I could go on but you get it. Who cares what it is or how unrealistic it sounds. You can have it because you are God. And before you hit me with “if that’s true then why aren’t there success stories?” First of all, not everyone rushes to the internet to brag about what they’ve manifested. Second of all, just because there is no success story out there that does not mean you cannot do it yourself. What’s stopping you from being the first success story?
Limiting beliefs ❀ - A limiting belief is a belief that impedes you from manifesting your desires. If it sounds dumb, requires a lot of work and stop you from living your dream life it is a limiting belief. Limiting beliefs will cease to exist as you work on self concept because the more you start to pick up on the fact that you’re God you’ll soon realize that you are absolutely limitless. You can have anything and everything you want.
To list a few:
✧ You can’t always get what you want
✧ Life is not always fair
✧ The one that got away
✧ Once in a lifetime
✧ Fate/Destiny
✧ You can’t change the past
✧ You have to work hard for what you want
✧ Everything happens for a reason
✧ Not everyone will like you.
✧ If it’s meant to be, it will be/Divine timing
These are all beliefs you can let go of once and for all because God has no limits… so these are not applicable to you.
Circumstances don’t matter - I don’t care what’s going on or what’s going on. Circumstances do not matter. In the slightest. You can manifest becoming a billionaire despite being dirt poor. You can manifest your specific person even if their wedding is next week. You can manifest the scholarship even though you’re failing every subject. Whatever it is, circumstances absolutely do not matter in the slightest and I cannot emphasize this enoughhhh like seriously if you’re limitless it doesn’t make sense to have limits whatsoever…
You control the details - Since you’re God you can pretty much dictate how a circumstance plays out. When you know this, you realize that there are a multitude of ways to handle an unfavorable situation. Let’s suppose you and your best friend who’s shown their true toxic colors had the worst fight ever and you both decided to no longer be friends. Let’s consider what you, as God, can do about the situation:
✧ manifest a sincere apology
✧ revise never having had that fight
✧ manifest them having a personality change
✧ simply manifest a new best friend.
“Are you really convinced that Jesus Christ is in you? Have you tested him? If you have and are still not sure, then you have failed the test… I tell you that Jesus Christ is your own wonderful human imagination, who is the eternal creative power of God. If you do not know that, you do not know Jesus Christ!” - God’s Creative Power
IV. What does an ideal self concept look like?
When you’re manifesting, there are no backups,There are no what ifs. There’s just you and your desire. Period. Circumstances are absolutely irrelevant and you don’t resort to “backup plans” and speaking of backup plans…
Elle Woods as a self concept model ❀ - Let’s talk about one of my favorite self concept icons Miss Elle Woods for a bit, specifically that scene in Legally Blonde where she sets her heart on going to Harvard law school despite the fact that her qualifications were a bit iffy. When she met with an advisor, they suggested she have some backups upon going through her transcript. Did Elle let that discourage her from applying anyway? Did she listen to her and go “hmm, maybe she’s right I should pick some backups.” Nope. She said “I don’t need backups, I’m going to Harvard”. You know what happened? She went to Harvard. Even though her application wasn’t the most suitable for law school as a fashion merchandising student, even though she was initially struggling when studying. Even with the circumstances not being in her favor, Elle persisted and got in because she didn’t let rejection be an option.
What can we learn from Elle?
✧ Know what you want and be brazenly impudent
✧ Don’t take no for an answer
✧ Pay no mind to unfavorable circumstances, if any
✧ Approach your desires with the confidence and certainty that they’re yours the moment you claim them, because they are!
Experiencing life with a strong and affirmative self concept is like viewing a catalogue of absolutely anything you can have for yourself. Scrolling through tumblr and see your dream face and body? You can look like that. Inspired by your comfort character’s personality? You can be just like them. An angelic singing voice like your favorite artist? You can have it. Obsessed with the latest Versace collection? You can own it. You watched a K-Drama with the most dreamy romantic love story you’ve ever heard of? You can experience that. Your world famous celebrity crush? You can date them. You can have anything you lay your eyes on. Nothing is off limits ❀
The thought process you should be having should look something like this:
“I can have whatever I want. Nothing is out of reach for me. That can be me too, there’s no need for me to be jealous. I know that circumstances do not matter when it comes to my desires and I do not need to lift a finger to manifest. I don’t need to freak out over not having something when I know it’s mine the moment I say it is.”
Pay attention to the thoughts you have daily and what you think instinctively when it comes to something you want. It may take some time, but soon enough you’ll let go of the lacking mentality and gradually acquire the knowing mentality. When you do, you will feel closer to your desires and see them as something you can obtain rather than something you could.
I hope I get the job → I’m getting the job
If he asks me out → When he asks me out
I wish I could do that → I can do that too
I want to look just like them → They look just like me
V. How to acquire an excellent self concept
Use your favorite manifesting method - Manifesting is not a one size fits all! I really suggest you tryout different methods and see which one you like most
Command your subconscious mind
The easiest and quickest method. Command your subconscious mind to give you the best self concept ever! Do it once and know that it’s yours.
Use the State Akin To Sleep ❀
You can try the lullaby method and affirm “I have an excellent self concept” over and over again until you fall asleep. Or you can always try vaunting, imagine yourself bragging (emphasis on bragging) to a friend about how you have a brand new self concept and it’s successfully given you your every desire.
Visualize
I want you to imagine yourself as the best possible version of you. You’re someone who always gets what they want, who excels at everything, manifests effortly, who’s the center of attention everywhere they go, nothing feels out of reach for you, you live such a happy and fulfilled life because you never have to deal with failure, rejection, stress or sadness ever again.
Know - The other easiest and fastest method is just knowing. If you dwell in knowing that you have a good self concept and you naturally embody that it’ll quickly harden into fact
Affirm - I like to stick to five affirmations or less because it’s easier for me to remember them, but you can have 2157 affirmations for all I care. Make affirming fun for self concept! It should not feel like you’re feeding a newborn and you’re forcing yourself to do that once every few hours. Please do not make it a job. Amp up your affirmations or do whatever else necessary so it doesn’t feel like you’re affirming robotically. Remember, state your affirmations as FACTS. Don’t just read through them once and call it a day. Embody them, feel them, acknowledge them. It’s okay if you don’t actually believe the affirmation itself, just keep affirming because eventually they will harden into fact!
Vaunting ❀ - My absolute favorite way to affirm. If you don’t know what vaunting means, it’s literally just bragging! This method is perfect if you struggle to focus while affirming and if you’re not sure how to affirm in a way that doesn’t come off dull and boring. When I was vaunting I would script and go on tangents about how I’m God and I can do all these different things and because I love you all so much I went ahead and wrote out a little self concept vaunt example:
My life has been so wonderful lately! Everything always works out in my favor, I always get what I want and whatever I say goes! Every aspect of my life is ideal because all of my desires have been fulfilled. I am the one who has it all and I am living the life of my dreams. You know why? Because I literally have the best self concept ever. I know for a fact that I am the architect of my life and the world around me is my own ideal creation. I’m not even impatient anymore because I know that whatever I want is mine the moment I say it is. Manifesting is the easiest thing in the world for me to do. Because I am God, I know for a fact that I manifest instantly, perfectly and without fail every single time.
When to affirm
✧ During the State Akin To Sleep - The first 30 minutes after waking up and right before you go to bed
✧ Anytime you think of yourself or your desires
A few self concept affirmations to choose from:
✧ Whatever I want is mine the moment I say it is
✧ I am the architect of my life
✧ The world around me is my own ideal creation
✧ Everything always works out in my favor
✧ I do not take no for an answer
✧ Whatever I say, goes.
✧ It is mine the moment I say it is
✧ Manifesting is the easiest thing in the world for me to do
✧ I always get what I want
✧ Every aspect of my life is perfect
✧ All of my desires have been fulfilled
✧ Whatever I want is mine the moment I say it is
✧ I am the one who has it all
✧ I am living the life of my dreams
✧ Every aspect of my life is ideal
✧ I am secure, successful and happy
✧ Everything always falls into place for me
✧ Because I am God, I know for a fact that I manifest instantly, perfectly and without fail every single time. ❀
VI. Maintaining your self concept
It’s so easy to come on Tumblr and feel powerful after reading a single post only for you to go back to your day-to-day routine and that power wears off and you start to feel average again, so here are a few tricks that helped me maintain my self concept.
Read Neville - What really truly helped cultivate and maintain my self concept was reading Neville. I would go days without reading his lectures and my self concept would shrivel like a prune and I noticed when I was most consistent in reading and listening to what he said I felt sooooo much better and reassured. Indulging yourself in Neville’s work will have you feeling and KNOWING that you are God. His books and lectures are FILLED with success stories of people who’ve done what would’ve otherwise been considered impossible!. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of reading Neville when indulging in the law of assumption, especially as a beginner. He will make you feel SO powerful and your self concept will skyrocket! Neville’s work is a good way to keep educating yourself about the law of assumption as well as to continue reminding of the success that comes with applying the law.
Any Neville lecture will do because his diction is impeccable and so motivating! There aren’t any books nor lectures that specifically focus on self concept since many of the principles of the law are discussed across many of his lectures briefly. However, any lecture with the words “God”, “I” or “I am” will touch on self concept for sure. Don’t forget the ones i’ve repetitively quoted as well. Here are a few great ones:
✧ No One To Change But Self
✧ God’s Creative Power
✧ Your Faith Is Your Fortune
✧ At Your Command
✧ God Became Man
✧ Brazen Impudence
✧ I Am The Lord
✧ The Law and The Promise
Read success stories - I think this is slightly underrated but also a bit of an obvious one. I love reading success stories because I get to see what I can manifest too and Neville's work is filled with them! Below are 160 stories from the wonderful Angel’s page.
85 success stories from my page using my advice
75 success stories from my page using my advice
Mental diet - Mental diets are great and I love them so much. This is what helped me to keep my new mentality in check. Be selective as hell with what gets your attention and what’s worth thinking about. When you indulge in a mental diet you’ll learn to become more aware of the thoughts you are having as you go out into the world. Have a bad thought? Correct yourself immediately but also don’t drive yourself crazy doing this. You don’t have to FLIP EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT you have. We have about 6,000 thoughts a day, so… This could take some practice, so start slow and you’ll get the hang of it little by little.
Manifest “small” things - This one is also a no brainer because why wouldn't you be trying it out? Here are some little things you can manifest:
✧ the saturn emoji 🪐
✧ a purple butterfly
✧ a message that says ily
✧ the number 555
✧ an orchid
As you manifest all of these successfully you’ll become more and more certain about your capacity!
Use a notebook - This is a great little habit you can also use to track what you’ve successfully manifested as well as to point out the changes you’re starting to see in your life. If you have tangible evidence of the progress you’re making it’ll only encourage yourself more and more to continue! If you’d be doing so for self concept some points could look like this:
✧ I am being treated much better by my loved ones
✧ My manifestations come so much quicker
✧ I am not as insecure as I used to be
Scripting tangents - I mentioned this for vaunting but I used to loveeeeee scripting tangents about being God and how I was going to give myself the life of my dreams and I was done being a victim and how I will be able to travel and be wealthy and date whoever I want live wherever I want literally anything I could think of as I wrote because as I’ve said over and over again, you are limitless. You’ll never run out of things to list that you can manifest because there is nothing you cannot have, do or be!
VII. How to know if your self concept is perfect or needs improvement
You know you have a good self concept when:
✧ You no longer deal with negative emotions
✧ You stop wondering if you can manifest _ because you know the answer is always yes
✧ You don’t bother settling or taking no for an answer
✧ You no longer seek external validation of any kind
✧ You’re in a good mood more frequently and feel better overall
✧ You acknowledge your desires matter-of-factly
✧ You don’t care about the how, it’s happening no matter what
✧ You’re naturally optimistic
✧ Good things happen more frequently
✧ You don’t get impatient about manifesting
Some indicators that your self concept needs improvement are:
✧ You validate logic
✧ You accept defeat
✧ You’re still checking the 3D
✧ You still see life as something that happens to you
✧ You have that little intrusive voice whenever you read a success story
✧ You have beliefs that stop you from manifesting what you want
✧ You’re pedestalizing anything, whether it’s a specific person, a desire or a method
✧ You still think you cannot manifest certain things
VIII. What to do
Note that regardless of what you’re struggling with you absolutely can manifest. Don’t worry! When I first started working on my self concept I remember encountering circumstances that challenged my affirmations. I didn’t always get what I wanted, but that didn’t matter. Internally, I continued to affirm “I always get what I want :)” and that’s what I would encourage you to do as well. Remember that your subconscious mind cannot tell right from wrong, think about the thoughts that you’re feeding it and what it’s hearing from you (again, mental diet 101).
“The signs always follow. They never precede. Things have no reality other than in consciousness. Therefore, get the consciousness first and the thing is compelled to appear.” - At Your Command
Persist - Also another issue I’m frequently asked about. Not seeing results? PERSIST, BITCH. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. Remind yourself of who you are and what you're capable of! If you’re not getting what you want, remind yourself “This stemmed from me and the same way I can manifest what I didn’t want I can also manifest what I dowant.” Take responsibility where it’s due. Whatever happens do not give up and do not take no for an answer.
“And you can believe anything in if you will not accept the facts your senses dictate; for nothing is impossible to imagine, and imagining - persisted in and believed - will create its own reality.” - Believe It In
Impatience and dwelling on failure - What I absolutely do NOT want you to do is dwell on the fact that you’re struggling. It’s okay to acknowledge that your desires haven’t arrived YET, but as long as you persist in what you DO want (to have an excellent self concept) it’s okay! But please stop fixating on how you’re not getting results and how you’re not doing this or don’t have that, what you focus on GROWS
“Man insists on talking about his problems. He seems to enjoy recounting them and cannot believe that all he needs to do is state his desire clearly. If you believe that imagination creates reality, you will never allow yourself to dwell on your problems, for you will realize that as you do you perpetuate them all the more.” - Believe It In
Intrusive thoughts - We’ve all dealt with intrusive thoughts at one point or another and people will deal with them different ways. Some people decide not to process such thoughts as negative and let them pass by naturally. I’m going to list three different ways I dealt with my intrusive thoughts
Interruption
I had two methods of interruption I opted for. When I had “what if” moments I often interrupted those thoughts by affirming “it is done” and I said that over and over again every single time that came up, like this:
“What if it doesn’t hap-”
“It is done.”
“But-”
“It is done.”
The other method wasI would finish the intrusive thought off in a positive note like this:
“why is my life so-”
“perfect in every possible way? I’m honestly so in love with my life like I am literally the happiest person on earth I think”.
Telling them to shut up
I would envision my intrusive thoughts coming from someone else despite knowing it was me but anyway when I would have one literally respond mentally with “shut up, BITCH” the same way the rock did (like I would LITERALLY use his exact same tone and aggression while doing this lmao) and counter affirm and they stopped!
Deciding I didn’t have any
After so much redundancy of combatting my intrusive thoughts I had the sudden epiphany that I could just manifest them away… I was so surprised I didn't think of it earlier. Whenever one was coming up I would just be like “nope nope nope I don’t have intrusive thoughts I have never had one of those in fact, what’s an intrusive thought? Never heard of that” and they went away in two days <3
Doubting the law - If you have felt like this because you somehow think it’s too good to be true then you’re not alone, I was once there too. I constantly thought to myself, what if the law ends up not being real after all and what if i have to go back to struggling? I’m here to tell you that doubt is completely normal. Besides, get a load of how much Neville Goddard’s work is out there… a lot of us follow his teachings and have reaped the benefits of doing so! It’s not like we all mutually agreed to conjure up a random figure from the seventies and founded a community around him and pretend we have our desires just to troll people on the internet… That’s weird as hell. Anyway! If you’re feeling like this, read my post on doubt. As I have stated previously, having just a little bit of faith will take you so far in your manifesting journey.
Spiraling - Okay bff if you’re spiraling stay with me okay you can get through this now let’s take three deep breaths okay? In……[Hold for five seconds and then]……Out (3x) Now repeat after me:
“I am capable of manifesting anything I could ever want because my word is gospel. Even if the 3D has not conformed yet, I know that it will no matter what. Intrusive thoughts and negative emotions hold no power over me and nothing can interfere with the manifestation of my desires. I am in control of every aspect of my reality and what I say goes. Because I am God, I know for a fact that I manifest instantly, perfectly and without fail every single time.”
The reason why I have literally never dealt with a spiral (aside from having a great self concept) is because I’m conscious of just how much control I have over my reality. No matter what the predicament is, there is always always a solution because you are always in control. Recall my previous example of the toxic best friend and the multitude of ways you could deal with it. Whenever an issue comes up it’s pretty much “whatever, I can just manifest myself out of this predicament”. That’s literally why I don’t bat a lash whenever something would happen that I would’ve been stressed over. Think about it, as God you’re in control of everything, why would you freak out? It’s completely silly, baby. The world is entirely yours.
“There is no limit to the power of belief or to the possibilities of prayer, but you must be brazenly impudent and not take No for an answer. Try it! When I say you are all imagination, I mean it.” - Brazen Impudence
Feeling overwhelmed or anxious - Manifesting should NOT be stressing you out so if you’re feeling awful take a break! Don’t beat yourself up if it didn’t work out! Pick yourself back up and try again. Go back to the basics and have a fresh start. Get back to that beginner level and take a few baby steps, manifest little things to gradually build up your confidence. Take it slow and don’t impose so much pressure on yourself to do this correctly from the start. Didn’t go out as planned? Don’t worry, just try again. Take all the time you need until you feel more calm and relaxed. Your self concept won’t collapse in itself if you take a little break from it, I promise.
Doing without belief - A HUGE no-no, my love! Belief is a must when applying the law. If you’re not believing you are performing in vain. If this is what you're struggling with I recommend reading my post: How To Cultivate Your Belief In The Law.
Overconsumption - If you’ve over consumed info and thinking “oh no, I have confused myself to the point of no return” and idk where to go from here, here’s what I want you to do
Delete Tumblr (or the social media you consume from)
Stick to a single source (Neville of course)
Work on your self concept (use this post)
Now, here’s a little motivational rant:
Think about everything you'd be surrendering if you quit now! You deserve to live the life you've always wanted. You deserve to wake up every single day fulfilled knowing that you are living out all of your wildest greatest dreams. You deserve to be able to look at yourself in the mirror in disbelief at how ethereal you look. You deserve to feel ecstatic every time you get what you want. You deserve to indulge in every pleasurable experience the world has to offer. You deserve love, peace of mind, abundance and joy. You are worthy of that and so much more! Stop entertaining ideas that suggest that you are not good enough to manifest your desires. Do not take no for an answer. Do not let the 3D discourage you. Actually, don't let ANYTHING discourage you. Pay no mind to the intrusive thoughts that insist you can't manifest. Yes you can and yes you will. No matter what happens, persist in the fact that you are a master at manifesting and you're not gonna accept anything else. You'll be damned if you settle for mediocrity when you know you can have it all. You are so so so close to having the world at your fingertips, don't stop now! All of the doubts lingering are simply your old self trying to get you to stay where you are because this is new territory for you and it can feel scary. Don't let it win! Discomfort, uncertainty and doubt are signs that you're growing out of your old self concept and transitioning into a new state of awareness. Keep going! Take it little by little and know that you can do this. There's no "maybe I can", there's no "everyone can manifest but me". You can have and do absolutely anything you want except fail to manifest. I believe in you and I know you have what it takes to go the distance and manifest the life of your dreams. It's your birthright. You're God. Not a God, the God. Whatever you say has to and will pull through because you're limitless and inevitable, my love. You can do this!
For a bit of a twist I’m about to get a little mean for those of you that wanted this so if tough love isn’t your cup of tea keep scrolling
Is it not dumb as hell for you to be whining and bitching about not getting something you CAN get? Why are you crying over a situation YOU caused? you literally cannot lose unless YOU let that be an option. Enough complaining and crying WHEN are you gonna get tired of standing in your own way? You are the one who literally gets to determine whether or not you get your manifestations, how quickly you get them you are responsible for EVERYTHING. You’re the only one who’s capable of sabotaging that for you. It is literally nobody’s fault but your own if you’ve been struggling to manifest. At some point you just have to put your foot down and decide that you’re DONE not getting your desires and you’re TIRED of your own shit. All of it CAN be yours at YOUR command. Why are you victimizing yourself? Why are you having all these pointless intrusive thoughts about how you can’t manifest this or you can’t have that. WHY? Why are you making up fake bs ass scenarios in your head? Why are you focusing on shit you don’t want? Your only task is to think about what you DO want and forget about what you don’t. That’s such pathetic behavior coming from someone who’s limitless. I'm sorry. Worrying about what you don’t want is such a huge waste of time. The only thing that should be receiving your attention is your desires and nothing else. Enough of this victim complex of yours. You can have, you can do, you can be as you please without a single limit and here you are thinking you can’t have something or someone? Please. Don’t discredit yourself like that. Enough of you whining and bitching about this and that idc you’re getting your desires and that is FINAL. Stop getting in your own way B!TCH! “This is hard :(“ “No I can’t :(” no it isn’t and yes you can. Please stop crying about how you can’t manifest and how you are the exception now the hell you are not. The same god within me is the same God within you. Argue with the wall, I don’t wanna hear it. Anyway, when you’re done crying and whining, pick yourself back up and persist. You’re not gonna be a fucking loser on my watch.
IX. Outro
I hope this post has drilled the indispensability of a great self concept into your head! I cannot urge you enough to work on your self concept because it is the key to everything. No more looking for the perfect post, the perfect technique, the confirmation. Everything starts with you. Manifesting is your birthright and an excellent self concept will make it EASIER QUICKER and EFFORTLESS, you will not deal with intrusive thoughts impatience spirals none of that BS will come about with a good self concept You can still manifest with all of these issues but why not just refrain from dealing with them to begin with? Persistence in your new conception of self will create a new world for you. The life of your dreams starts here, baby. For more in-depth context on being on the pedestal, becoming your most confident self and transforming yourself into that bitch stay tuned for my upcoming spinoff of this post: How To Become The Most Iconic It Girl In Your Reality. Until then, my loves!
Bonus: Here is a Google doc version of this post so you can have it on you if you ever need it!
“You are already that which you seek and you have no one to change but self in order to express it.” - No One To Change But Self
this is a quick yet effective method to help y’all live in the end and manifest EXTREMELY fast.
basically you affirm in the past tense. more specifically for this method, you affirm as if you already received your desire yesterday!!
✧ example
“i got my dream job yesterday!”
“my sp confessed to me yesterday”
“i woke up with my desired face yesterday”
“i received a million dollars yesterday”
“i got all of my desires yesterday”
when you affirm, really get into the state that you already have your desire and that your manifestation already showed up. how would you feel if you received your desire yesterday? get into that state and really embody the feeling of wish fulfilled. it’s done. there’s nothing more you need to do because you literally got your desires yesterday!
✧ 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
if you ever start to waver or doubt because you don’t see any “evidence” or “movement” remind yourself that it’s DONE! why would you stress or worry about receiving something you already have?
let's say you ordered something online and received the package yesterday. would you be saying “oh where is it? is it really coming, i don’t see it. i rlly hope it arrives :(('' NO you would be enjoying whatever you ordered, like duh of course you have it!! you got it yesterday.
that’s the mindset you need to have with your desire. be in the absolute END of your desires and know for a fact that the 3d will conform to your desires! by affirming that your desires manifested yesterday, so are putting yourself in the state of wish fulfilled and taking the stress of waiting off of you. (here’s an excellent video by my fav loa youtuber on living in the 4d)
when neville wanted to go to barbados, what did his mentor abdullah tell him? "you ARE in barbados!" he consistently reminded neville that he was already where he wanted to be. abdullah told neville to go to sleep every night as if he was literally in barbados. at first, neville kept wavering and looking at the 3d and every time he complained, abdullah slammed the door in his face and reminded him that he was already in barbados. eventually, neville manifested first-class tickets to barbados!
in the same way, you need to completely live in the state of already having your desires. by affirming in the past tense, you are giving youself the absolute assurance that you already recieved your manifestations. it's DONE! you arrived in barbados yesterday! there's nothing more that you have to do now.
✧ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞!
everyday for at least a week (or however many days you want) affirm that you already received your desires yesterday! ask yourself “how would i be thinking/feeling if i got my desire yesterday” then think and feel those thoughts. mentally go throughout your day as if you literally just got your desire. as a bonus, you can use SATS and affirm/visualize yourself having your desire just like neville did!
© celestialheartbeat - 2022
yours truly, (part one). / sincerely, (part two).
premise: as a friend of the most attractive students in school, you're more than used to acting as the middleman between them and the people vying for their affection, often tasked with delivering presents or handing out their love letters. however, when you chance upon a small bouquet of flowers on your desk without a note indicating the sender or who you're meant to give it to, you start to wonder if this one's supposed to be yours.
includes: childe, xiao, diluc, kazuha, albedo, thoma & gorou !
a/n: hahaha why is this so long... anyways this is a college au + reverse harem of some sorts. enjoy. i really don't want this one to flop so likes and reblogs are appreciated thx
“Do you think it's a prank?”
“Why is that the first thing that pops into your mind?” Keqing sighs as she fixes her makeup in front of a compact mirror, smacking her lips to spread the color evenly. “You're really cute, [Name]. why wouldn't someone like you by now?”
Your face burns at the offhand comment. “You're only saying that because we're friends.”
Ayaka giggles, twirling a lock of your hair with her finger. “Of course not. You're very adorable! If anything, it'd be more surprising if nobody likes you.”
“Who do you think it's from, though?” Ganyu quietly asks from beside you, observing the handful of carnations laying on your desk. Scanning the students currently present in the room, she thoughtfully adds, “maybe someone on the shyer side since they couldn't give it to you directly?”
“Or someone who did it to be romantic,” Kokomi suggests, scrutinizing the flowers with keen eyes. “That's quite nice of them.”
You hummed in contemplation, trying to figure out who placed it on your table. “Are you sure it's not a prank... or a mistake? You all sit beside me, so maybe they mistook my seat for yours-”
“You're the only one who faithfully sits there, [Name]. We don't even have assigned seats so most of us sits wherever,” Keqing clarifies, staring at you with a disapproving look. “Don't deny it. You know it's yours.”
“But I can't think of anyone who would like me!” you exclaim in defeat. “I am curious about who gave it, though... I should try to find out who it is...”
“More importantly...” Ganyu smiles at you, noticing the blush dusting your cheeks. “Who do you want it to be?”
childe:
in all honesty, he's your first guess.
not because you think he likes you or anything! he's just a huge flirt.
at the beginning of the school year, you hardly got along. you know he's a friendly guy, but it's in the way that... intimidated you. he's part of the “mood maker” clique, attracting attention wherever he goes, and you're not sure if you could handle his energy...
you preferred to stay away from the spotlight though that's a bit hypocritical considering you're friends with the prettiest group of girls in your year, and he relished in it. you didn't know if you could get along.
you didn't become friends until you were assigned partners for a project that meant a lot for your grade, and you vowed to yourself if you couldn't be close to him, you should at least be close enough to work together without trouble.
in the end, you surprisingly hit it off, childe easing the awkward air between you with jokes and random stories to tell about his weird friends. your friendship didn't end when the project did, and you continued to hang out outside of school. you're sure he didn't approach you to get closer to your friends, either; though you had some doubts at first, he was nothing alike with the jerks who tried to use you.
you're no stranger to the pranks he pulled, nor were you unaware of his flirty nature; he occasionally entertained the lot who fancied him when he attended drinking parties. so it made perfect sense if it was childe who gave those flowers, along with the gifts that followed after. it would just be him messing around again, right? oh, definitely! it wouldn't be the first time he spent his money in reckless abandon, bragging that he has the cash to spare for it.
but unexpectedly when you bring up the topic, his expression darkens, showing no sign of joking around. he looks a little shocked, too, to know someone was pursuing you.
“it's not from me,” he admits, gently taking your hand. “but it's true that i like you.”
xiao:
xiao is one of the people you deliver presents to lol
due to his intimidating disposition (and the endless amount of nasty rumors swirling about him, thanks to said intimidating disposition), hardly anybody would dare to approach him, daunted by the perpetual scowl etched on his face. he remains as eye candy, but an entity no one could reach.
you avoided him at first, too. his face is admirable, you can say that much, but you've become somewhat desensitized from having been surrounded by pretty faces 24/7 so you can't really say it's anything new... and yes, you are scared of him to a certain degree. you could never guess what he's thinking.
you weren't sure if he's as scary as people make him out to be though, since people tend to exaggerate gossip for the sake of shock value. he once defended a middle schooler from high school delinquents (through persuasion and not with fists), but the story somehow twisted into another tale entirely detailing how xiao had brutally wiped the floor with their faces and painted the concrete floor with blood...
but as intimidating as he might seem, you don't think he's that kind of character. if you overlook his piercing glare and sharp tongue, he's quite decent.
... you thought that way until you caught him tailing you on your way home.
he crept up behind you, maintaining a natural distance, but after numerous twists and turns in hopes of leading him away, he had yet to cease heading towards your direction. you wouldn't be so suspicious if you hadn't purposely gone in circles around town, leading back to where you came from — which meant he didn't have a particular destination in mind, and fully intended on being hot on your tail.
tired of having bated breath waiting for his next move, you gathered all your courage and confronted him directly, cornering him to the nearest wall to assert dominance. xiao seemed startled by your forwardness, and you took his moment of vulnerability as an opportunity to interrogate him.
unexpectedly, he sheepishly confesses, “i'm not a stalker, i got worried since you're going home this late. haven't you heard about the crime rate these days...”
from there on, you suppose you could say you understood him better. though he's snappy and stern, he's not that terrifying, even sweet at times. when you become proper friends (and you stop suspecting him as your stalker), he saves you a seat next to him, or brings you coffee that you like when he notices you're sleepy in class.
it wasn't long until everybody came to know you were friends and a girl finally — you guessed it — asked you to send a love letter to xiao in her stead.
when you gave it to xiao, he was unusually flustered, flushed pink to the tips of his ears. his expression falls flat once you tell him it's from someone else, badly containing the disappointment to show on his face.
nevertheless, you continue to be friends, and xiao has learned not to expect much from you.
he's the earliest to arrive in class, so you ask him if he'd seen the person who gave you flowers. with a cold, hard look, he says no.
he's acting kind of weird, isn't he...
diluc:
the barista in the coffee shop near your university that has to put up with so much bullshit flirting everyday.
he has to reject people in a roundabout way, and you know he hates it, but of course he has to provide great customer service if he still wants customers right... directly breaking their hearts would only make problems.
but he takes no shit from rude customers.
no, you weren't one of them. in fact, diluc quite liked you a bit. first of all, you don't have any romantic interest for the staff, you genuinely enjoy his drinks (he knows because your face is like an open book), and you mind your own business. he tolerates you enough that he can make small talk with you and it doesn't upset him in the slightest.
so it really ticked him off when some idiot was bothering you in the cafe, starting an argument over a trivial matter that shouldn't be fussed over.
in normal circumstances, diluc would've done the usual protocol — reason with the angry customer, offer free products, and let them leave the premises peacefully. but the moment he saw the man grab your shoulders and you winced in pain as a result, he didn't even have to think of what to do next.
cold coffee rained down on the ill-mannered man's head, evoking a surprised scream out of him. his fingers left your body in favor of patting away the sticky liquid from his clothes, and you stared blankly at the seething figure behind him.
“your order,” diluc announced, his voice tinted with rage. then he pretended to remember something, looking at the empty cup in his hand. “oh, i apologize. you ordered it hot, didn't you?” he forced a smile on his face. “would you like me to brew another one for you?”
the man erupted to a new screaming fit, but he was promptly dragged aside. diluc immediately questioned if you were hurt anywhere, his voice a total 180 from before and turning into a soft tone you nearly didn't recognize.
“that stunt you pulled...” you nervously said. “will you be okay...? won't you get, er, dismissed because of it?”
“...you don't know i own this place?”
“???”
in any case, you've become good friends ever since that incident. so when your secret admirer gives you your customized drink from diluc's shop (that even xiao doesn't know the recipe of!), you ask him if there's a customer who ordered your exact drink that morning.
strangely enough, he changes the subject.
“he only gave you coffee?” diluc wrinkles his nose. “he's not fit for you.”
he proceeds to shove you a plate of pancakes for breakfast and won't let you talk about that topic again.
kazuha:
the soft-spoken boy working part-time as a florist. as one would expect, his good-looking features attracted customers left and right, just like how a flower allures bees with its colorful petals and sweet nectar.
he studies in a different university from you, but it's relatively close by and you run into each other a lot. you could say you're pretty good friends; you exchanged contact information and text every other day, phone each other up to have a meal together whenever you're both free, and hang out over the weekend.
he stirred up some drama with you once. on a rainy day, he invited you to eat lunch together, but you've forgotten to take an umbrella before leaving for school so you told him you'd be a little late 'cause you had to run to the convenience store first. however, he told you not to worry about it and abruptly ended the call.
fast forward to the afternoon: the glass doors to leave the corridors had a few people lurking by, covering what was beyond. you cocked up an eyebrow in question, confused over what was all the fuss, but then you see that familiar pale hair streaked with bright red.
kazuha stood innocently by the school gates, a crimson umbrella in hand, and a small bouquet in the other. he checked his wristwatch every few minutes, seeming to be waiting for someone. he completely ignored the gawking stares pinned on his frame, busying himself by humming a quiet tune.
you hesitantly pushed open the doors, approaching him with wary steps. he immediately perked up once noticing you, beaming brightly to greet you with enthusiasm. he offered you the bouquet, telling you it's nothing more than a small gift the owner had let him craft for free (who mistakenly thought kazuha had a lover, since he was always on his phone texting someone).
you might have known the reasons behind the present, but nobody else did. and what general implications could gifting a bouquet of flowers have?
thus, the school's online forum exploded with questions, asking for the identity of the pretty boy standing by their university, and the lucky person he'd given flowers to.
needless to say it was hard to convince your friends that no, he isn't your boyfriend.
but that was another issue! the issue NOW is the other bouquet you received, much more recent in nature. after suspecting childe, your next thought was to ask kazuha if he had any buyers who purchased the same flowers you had.
his lips twitch for a moment, faintly looking displeased. but he flashes a flawless, award-winning customer service smile, covering his initial expression easily.
“no such customer ordered for those flowers that day. but i am curious about this matter... could you humor me and explain more in detail, by any chance?”
albedo:
the med student fawned over by students and teachers alike. he's simply brilliant, idolized by the entire student body. though he's mainly studying science, he's been praised for his art as well, his paintings hung in the art room proudly.
you're not very familiar with him, only knowing him through hearsay. you don't know what he looks like, so you've never confirmed for yourself if he's as beautiful everyone says he is.
he's well-known but you haven't heard anything bad about him, which is an impressive feat. his name is only ever mentioned in concert with endless compliments.
you meet him by chance in exam season. unsurprisingly, the library is filled to the brim, tables stacked high with books and each chair occupied by agitated students sipping energy drinks and coffee to stay functional. amidst all the chaos, one student remains radiant and carefree, leisurely flicking pages through his notes. he's situated by a corner table, unbothered by the mindless zombies despite having plenty of free seats beside him and everyone else is squished together like canned tuna.
and you, carrying binders, books and stationery, are visibly desperate for a place to rest. his eyes leave the words in his notes briefly, beckoning you to come closer. and you, still unaware of his identity, gladly plop on a chair and heave your heavy supplies atop the table. it shakes for a moment as it bears the new weight, rattling his items, and the zombies gape at you in question. ironically, the person you've been bothering is not offended at all.
you sneak glances at him when you need to freshen your eyes from studying, nauseated by the letters that never seem to come to an end no matter how many paragraphs you've read. you're at awe by his fair skin, not a single blemish in sight, and he doesn't even have dark circles under his eyes. truly mysterious. either he has a magical skincare routine or he's not human. if anything, you'd think he just came from a relaxing vacation, not in the middle of hell week.
you snap out of your trance, and you scold yourself for being bewitched. you have more pressing concerns, and so you grill more information into your brain, oblivious to the turquoise eyes that begin to stare at you.
the next encounter comes when exams are finally over, and you celebrate by buying the pricey food set in the cafeteria. the crunch of golden breading is rewarding for your taste buds and you shovel more food towards your mouth, minding your own business.
the seat next to you is pulled back, and you pause from chewing. it's that guy again, his refined beauty easy for you to recognize. he places his tray on the table, smiling amiably as he asks if it's fine with you should he sit there. you nod, but there's plenty of vacant tables around. it's also pretty weird that he sat next to you, not across...
well, strange as it is, that's how you befriend albedo. you've yet to learn why he came on so strong, almost aggressive. like he really wanted to talk to you. but whatever.
the more you learn about him, the more his image of “golden boy” withers away. picture of elegance? the standard of sophistication? sure. but this guy doesn't hesitate to do the weirdest shit sometimes.
he doesn't fear anything. he puts anything edible in his mouth. one school trip to the countryside taught you a few things. if he's offered fried bugs, he'll eat it. if he's given frog legs, he'll eat it. he doesn't care. he'll eat seemingly anything. because of this, you worry his admirers will put something strange in the food they give him, but that possibility doesn't cross his mind at all. (well. not that he eats it. he rejects gifts most of the time. exceptions are when they come from you.)
you're starting to think he really doesn't fear anything. when you start to scream in fright like a headless chicken while watching a horror movie, he calmly studies the anatomy of whatever horrifying creature is on screen, questioning their ability to walk when half of their body is split apart. why is he questioning horror movie logic. “ghosts are supposed to be transparent and can pass through walls, how come she can grab the main character's hair and drag him to the incinerator?” “albedo, please.” (he comforts you when you get scared, hiding your face in his shoulder as he wraps his arms around you. he softly whispers in your ear to tell you when the scary parts are over.)
he's also an overprotective older brother. for good reason, actually. his little sister, albeit cute and outwardly harmless, is an explosive child who likes to make trouble. if he takes his eyes off her for more than two minutes, she will undoubtedly set fire to his little garden.
she's the reason why he's so observant. he can tell you trimmed your hair because he's all too used to klee chopping off her own hair with craft scissors. he also notices when you feel a bit under the weather. klee is the type to hide her sickness so she could play outside, and albedo would often have to forcibly tuck her back to bed. you're no different. he will, quite literally, drag you to your house and make you rest.
but aside from being a pain in the ass, his observation skills can help you — surely albedo can make a few guesses for your secret admirer's identity?
albedo blinks at you, uncharacteristically silent. he purses his lips, and gives you a small smile. he asks a few unassuming questions, things like what traces your secret left behind, or if they'd sent a love letter and he'd check the penmanship to see if he found it familiar.
he's not the most eager to help, you know that, but you're still slightly disappointed when he says, “sorry, i can't help you with something like that. it'd be better if you figured it out yourself.”
thoma:
the cute neighbor living in the apartment next door. just like kazuha, he studies in a different university, but you run into each other a lot because... well. obviously.
you find him rather silly. he'd signed the lease not knowing pets weren't allowed in the premises, and tearfully waved taroumaru goodbye when he moved in. to cope, he started staying at the park near the apartment building, playing with the dogs there and getting hit on by their owners in the process, but let's not talk about that.
despite being a newcomer, he fit right in with the tenants. he made effort to learn everyone's names and chatted with them whenever presented a chance, thus winning their favor. it isn't a strange sight to see him with middle-aged ladies and looking at home, listening earnestly to their complaints about their husbands or rowdy children. (his hard work pays off when they give him their special recipes and inform him of supermarket deals lol)
he seems to get along well with old men too, invited to their drinking parties. except thoma isn't good at rejecting alcohol from older adults, so when you save him from such situation — pulling him away from the old men prying into his love life, because surely a good kid like him would have someone to love him dearly — he's become eternally grateful.
he's honestly too good for his own good.
exhibit a: thoma is prone to cooking too much food for one person to eat in one sitting, so he tends to invite you to eat his hotpot with him or bring you packaged food you can easily pop into a microwave. after your one act of goodwill, he's become strangely attached to you, pronouncing you best buds. he then admits he used to live with a larger group of people (hence his cooking habits), and he's thankful for your company. (you'd argue you're getting the better end of the deal, receiving free food like this)
exhibit b: he's always available to help you in your troubles. need a hand with heavy groceries? he's on his way! ran out of soy sauce? just wait a bit, he's gonna grab some from the cupboard! forgot your key inside your apartment? then stay at his place for the meantime before the locksmith comes! your shower isn't working well?... he promises he won't peek in the bathroom, so feel free to take a bath h a h a h a. need someone's opinion on what outfit to wear for a date? sure, he's- wait.
YOU'RE GOING ON A DATE?
his face twists weirdly as you showcase two different shirts, asking which one he likes better. you raise an eyebrow when he doesn't dare to utter a single word. “are they both bad?”
he blinks rapidly, then shakes his head laughing. he half-heartedly points to the shirt in your left hand, but you can tell he doesn't really think much of it. he excuses himself fairly quickly, saying he had chores to do, and scurried back to his own home.
(you were only going to a date with ayaka's older brother because she insisted you both needed a love life, but it's not like you actually feel anything for him.)
it doesn't end there. thoma acts weird sometimes. he's strangely cold when he sees you inviting kazuha to your apartment to hang out. he also stiffens when he spots xiao walking you home.
but by far, he acted the weirdest when your phone number called him, but when he answered, he heard a different voice respond.
it's childe, whom you went drinking with. he doesn't know where you live, and you're not nearly sober enough to return home on your own, and it's not like you'll agree to staying over childe's house. you also refuse telling him your address, so childe is left with no choices but to call for someone he knows.
he uses your fingerprint to unlock the password in your phone, heading straight for your contact list, and dialed thoma.
it doesn't take long for thoma to arrive where you are, panting after running for a while, and childe is almost impressed. thoma hoists you up and you obediently wrap your arms around him.
“sorry for the trouble. [name]'s dead drunk as you can see,” childe comments, chuckling to himself. thoma doesn't look amused and replies with, “it's no trouble at all. i'd be glad to help [name] anytime.”
then in a way that almost seems possessive, thoma leaves childe behind.
so now when you arrive home, bouquet in your arms, red dusting your features, thoma is displeased once more.
(yet he is envious of those who can freely profess their affections, because he's certain if he were to ever admit his feelings to you, things can never be the same.)
gorou:
you first suspected childe because you thought the bouquet of flowers was a joke, but if it wasn't and it was real with the intentions of sweeping you off your feet...
then you might have another suspect in mind.
gorou is... a funny guy. can you put it like that? you don't know what to think of him. he's nice, you already know that very well, kokomi's good friends with him and told you a few stories about him, all of which are sweet and amusing. your first impression of him was that of a pure-hearted boy that can do no wrong.
he's younger than you by a year, and kokomi was fairly excited when she first told you he would be attending the same university soon. she promised to introduce you to him in hopes you'd be friends as well.
and okay, you could get behind that. there's nothing wrong with meeting new people. gorou sounded like a great guy too, and it'd be nice to take care of someone younger. you've been coddled by your seniors the past year as a freshman, and you thought it would only be right if you did the same to the new batch of students.
so you attended the welcoming party kokomi dragged you into. it was just a small gathering to get the freshmen familiarize themselves with older students, and she told you you'd get to meet gorou there, her eyes carefully scanning the crowd in pursuit of a specific face.
just as you were reminiscing over the past where your sadistic seniors encouraged you to drink a lot in the last welcoming party, shuddering in fright, kokomi tapped your shoulder and gestured to the brown haired boy standing before you.
it must be him. per courtesy, your lips curled into a practiced smile, exuding an amicable air. kokomi briefly exchanged a few words with him, but it looked like she was doing all the talking, the male frozen in spot as if he'd seen something strange.
he stared at you blankly, eyes slightly widened, and you slowly became unnerved with his vacant gaze, your smile faltering. you made eye contact with kokomi, silently questioning her, but she gave a subtle shrug of her shoulders, also confused by his behavior.
then, completely out of everyone's expectations, he'd dropped to the floor.
gorou had knelt on the ground with one steady knee, solemn in his endeavors. in an instant, your hand was seized, fingers enclosed in his warm palm. his piercing stare was impassioned, sincere at its core. heat shot up to the tips of your ears.
“marry me!”
his voice resounded in the entire room, earning unwanted attention. the chatter halted immediately, all eyes dedicated to the spectacle that was the both of you, and your mind began to spin, cold sweat dripping down your forehead.
your voice was caught in your throat, not knowing what to say, and all you could formulate was a garbled string of incoherent mess. undeterred, the grasp on your hand was unrelenting, gorou committed through this act until the very end.
everyone was thinking the same thing: we haven't even started drinking yet, but this little guy is drunk already??
shameless. crazy. a head with loose screws. you're probably the only one who'd describe gorou that way.
but what kind of sane man would say that upon first meeting???
kokomi quickly tried to mediate the situation for him, pulling him away and patting his back to knock him out of his dazed stupor, and pushed you to the farthest corner.
she vouched for him when she saw your puzzled expression, thinking of him as a weirdo, and she insisted he's normally not that odd. she swears he was never interested in dating before, and she isn't sure what changed for him to... propose... all of a sudden... to you, who he'd barely seen for ten seconds, no less.
naturally, it feels strange for you to see him. after that disastrous encounter, gorou — who did feel embarrassment for what he did, horrified at his own impulsiveness — tried to make amends, backtracking steps (he skipped way too many and immediately went to propose lol) and treating you normally like a friend of a friend, slowly trying to make the atmosphere between you casual instead of a freezing blizzard that kills off the amicable mood.
in spite of all that, however, you do feel as if his feelings are actually genuine. he can be clumsy, and incredibly so, you don't know who else could propose to another person within a span of a minute meeting them for the first time, but he means well! you started off on the wrong foot, and maybe this bouquet of flowers is him trying to curry your favor... or something...
yet all he gives is a disbelieving look, and that's enough to provide a clear answer: it's not from him, and he's upset.
it,, probably wasn't a good idea to ask someone who likes you about another person who likes you.
but if it isn't him, who else could it be?!
drop your guesses in the comments but im pretty sure it's already obvious lol
diluc loves you.
those three words are not ones he says as often as he should, at least in his eyes but you never seem to mind. the words didn’t tumble from his lips like a sweet, lovely melody often but his actions told you of his hearts devotion to you. even if not spoken out loud, those special words, words that don’t even feel like they are enough to describe how he feels about you- i love you- pass through his mind many times throughout the day.
♡ in the early morning, before the sun rises, as he prepares for the day quietly so as to not disturb your sleep. the soft movement of your deep, sleepy breaths catching his eye more than a few times. happiness fills his heart seeing how peaceful you are in his bed, like nothing in this world could harm you- and he tries his hardest to see that through, always. his heart stalls when he sits on the end of his side of the bed to put on his boots and feels your body shift closer to his, as if you were pulled in like a magnet.
still asleep, your hand slides across the covers in search of him, fingers curling around his own once your hand finally finds him. so soft, he thinks as he gently he squeezes your hand, twisting to get a better look at your visage. he is so enamored by you and lets his heart lead his actions when he gingerly moves the stray hairs from your face, allowing the pads of his fingers to brush against your skin, behind your ear and down your neck, your pulse steadily beating under his finger tips. his lips touch your cheek so tenderly and for the first time today those words filled his heart with warmth strong enough to turn his pearl-like skin pink. i love you.
♡ during the busy day when the smell of your perfume lingers in his study and the bright colors of the fruit you’ve left for him catch his eye. he must have just barely missed you but it’s no matter. knowing you were here, thinking of him, caring for him, is enough to give him the little boost he needs to get through the paperwork stacked high on his desk. i love you and how lucky i feel to be loved by you.. your love lingers on his lips in the form of sweet fruit juice.
♡ when the peak heat of the day is almost over, and he’s walked from the study, to the cellar and back again or to any other task needing his attention throughout the day countless times. the open window makes it easy for your giggles to travel from the courtyard, where you’ve been tied up in a book for the past several hours, to him and wrap around him like rays of sunlight after a long and lonely winter. he’s been so busy all day and even now he’s on his way to deal with another issue but that hasn’t and doesn’t stop him from slowing his steps as he passes by the open window to get a glimpse of your unmistakable figure sipping on a cup of tea while you enjoy your book.
as if you knew he was there, could feel his heart calling your name, you turn towards the window and smile brightly when your eyes meet, making his heart and his footsteps stop completely. he only wishes he could be closer, admiring the color the sun brings out in your eyes or taking in the scent of your shampoo as you pull him close. when conor calls his name he knows he’ll have to settle for a simple return of your smile with one of his own, leaving you blushing and your book forgotten as your thoughts begin to drift to the most lovely shade of red and smell of cedar and wine.
that doesn’t stop him from looking back more than once, those words yet again passing through his mind even as he gets too far away to see you, i love you.
there's still work to be done, papers to be reviewed and signed, wine that needs quality checking, dark knight hero duties to attend to but as the sun begins to set, the sky above turning orange and blue, he finds himself leaving it behind in search of you.
his footsteps are light down the stone steps leading into the vineyard. he had a feeling you would be out here and when he saw you amongst the grapes he didn’t waste a moment closing the distance between you. you’d been close all day, always a short walk away but it wasn’t enough, it was never enough and sometimes he had to give into his heart's wishes. he watches with a smile as you reach into the vines and pull out a plump grape, popping it into your mouth. the content smile on your lips and the juice caught on the edge of your lips is adorable, what he wouldn’t do to ensure you could always be this happy. with a playful smile, that only you get the pleasure of seeing, he can’t help but tease you.
“stealing now, are we?”
his voice causes you to jump, apparently you hadn’t heard him coming but any apologies he had are forgotten in the wind with one look at your guilty smile and enchanting eyes. before you can reply he steps closer to you, so close you can feel the heat he radiates, and reaches for your face. in gentle motions he moves the stray hairs behind your ear before his thumb brushes against your lips, the leather of his gloves collecting the grape juice on your lips.
it’s impossible to think straight with him so close, with his gentle touch against you and his scent invading your senses. no matter how long you’ve been with him you weren’t sure you would ever get used to melting whenever he was close. you can only hum and lean into his touch and he welcomes it completely, soaking in every moment that he can.
you look so beautiful and diluc feels his heart beating right out of his chest as he gets lost in your eyes. he would never understand what he did to deserve you but he could now never imagine a life without you. forever and always he wanted you by his side, he wanted you to hold his heart and keep yours safe in return. he loves you, more than anything in the world and celestia, he loves you.
fingers brushing against your cheek, his ruby eyes soft and the smile tugging at his lips makes his words come out almost shyly. “have i told you today that i love you?” as if you weren’t weak in the knees already under his undivided attention, his loving stare and words said so sweetly and honestly, you’re left speechless and a blushing mess from your cheeks to your ears and clinging onto him for support.
“‘luc.. i love you..” you reply breathlessly. if you had any more breath to steal, he stole it with his lips as he pulled you deeper into the grape vines to show you more of his love.
lumine!
(from high above) ᵃᵉᵗʰᵉʳᵎ