Latest Posts by stuffeddeer - Page 6

i came across your blog a few days ago and all i could think of is deerlike/fawnlike darling 😭 someone who’s sensitive and shy, a bit vulnerable !! would go so well with any of the dazais omg

YOURE SO RIGHT imma delve into a few different variations :)

Deludedly obsessed Dazai would view your deer-like traits as something inherently weak. It’s something that makes you sensitive and ill-equipped for the cruel world he grew up in. Since he’s well versed in the cruelties of life, Dazai can make sure you stay safe, right? He takes it up as his job to look after you and keep you safe, remaining close at all times when he can be. If you work in the agency alongside him, he makes sure to pull you onto missions that he’s already leading or will pawn off whatever he’s working on to join yours. He works at the agency, sure, but his job is to look after you. If you find him scary, that's merely because of how many people must have been able to wrong you in the past! It's not like it's hard to, in fact, he could easily— no.

That's why he needs to protect you, to keep you away from people like himself. Oda would want him to help out the poor and defenseless, right? Even if you can't accept that yet, you'll understand in a matter of time. Or you won't, and Dazai will have to take more... drastic measures.

-

Dazai who knows his obsession for you is wrong will start out thinking similar things — how easy you would be to manipulate (he hates that that’s his first thought), how much he should make sure to keep you safeguarded and out of harm’s way — but try to put a stop to it. If you work in an office job or something similar, he’ll be sure to remind himself that you’ve made it this far, and it’s not like you’ll be stumbling into trouble any time soon. To keep his mind from unraveling and his obsession and anxieties from worsening, he’ll follow you home after work under the blanketed night sky, reminding himself the whole time that you’re safe. And if anyone tries to harm you? …

He’d have such an urge to just keep you at his home, safe and away from the cruel outside, but he knows that’s wrong; Dazai knows how sad you’d be and while you’d have no way to fight back, he’d feel so guilty watching you break down in front of him. Looking after you is all he wants to do, including emotionally. But maybe feeling a little sad at the beginning is better than someone hurting you…

As much as he tries to fight it, Dazai knows you’d be better off staying by him all the time.

-

Manipulative and harsh Dazai who gets some sick joy out of your timid demeanor. He’ll want to crush your spirit, prove that your invulnerability is nothing more than a weakness he intends to exploit. You work in some sort of cozy shop mainly by yourself (ie coffeehouse, flower shop, something cutesy) and it almost makes him sick - how can someone be so sweet and innocent? He wants that for himself and you make it far too easy to obtain. A few kind words and polite smiles and he knows he’s become your favorite customer, even if he never buys anything. He brings you a coffee one day out of the goodness of his heart and Dazai swears he sees hearts in your eyes. He builds up a rapport so quickly and smoothly you don’t notice the red flags (how he always seems to know your schedule, favorite coffee..) and dismiss your co-worker’s worries. There’s no way he could be so rude and flippant with them, it’s not in his nature!

And when you get fired after some anonymous customer continuously claimed you were horribly rude to them, Dazai was there to console you. You find yourself at his place much more often, spending time solely with him as your friends begin to ghost you. As thanks to the man who kept you afloat during all of this, you’d stay and help around Dazai’s apartment, cleaning up and bringing him food… and when he mentioned how lonely it gets, well, what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t stay the night? And the next one. And the next…

Once you’ve all but entirely been kidnapped moved in, Dazai reminds himself that the world out there is cruel. So, if you miss being outside so much, then he’ll gladly bring the harsh world to you.

-

Possessive loser Dazai who doesn’t want your vulnerability and (as he views it) “pureness” tainted by someone else, but is happy just watching you stumble from afar. He swoops in during your date with a friend, dragging you out claiming that they were planning on hurting you! He just wants to keep you safe, don’t you understand that? And you do. You so pliantly nod as you thank him, letting out a sigh of relief that Dazai saved you yet again. How do you keep picking these horrible people?

One night, last minute, you went out with a few friends, and Dazai found out the next day. He spent all day avoiding you, angry beyond belief that you could be so stupid! Don’t you know they’re all the same?! He’s just trying to keep you safe! You’re so sensitive, so malleable; the last thing he wants is for some assholes to make you do something you don’t want to (never mind you saying you had fun). You apologize profusely, because of course you do: Dazai is your best friend.

-

Port Mafia Dazai whose only basis for relationships comes from Mori and his ability. He knows it’s wrong, right? But when he sees you, so shy and easy to scare, his mind is made up: You are too good for the Mafia. He takes you back to his small shipping container and decides he’d be the one to take care of you, like Mori does with Elise. His paychecks begin to go towards frilly outfits and soft pajamas for his darling, expensive cakes he wants to see you try and the same kind of crayons he saw Elise forcing the Boss to buy a few days ago. You’re well pampered and still so shy and polite, which is why Dazai is so aggravated when you finally ask to feel the sun on your skin once more. He’s sacrificed so much to keep you happy and spoiled, but you still ask for more?…

…He buys you a big house away from Yokohama’s port with big glass walls for you to enjoy the sun.

-

I imagine a more work-oriented or apathetic Port Mafia Dazai would be the only rendition that doesn’t treat you like a frail doll. Your vulnerable and shy side is cute, sure, but that can be a skill. He’d send you on missions to lure and attack like Kyouka or undercover, as no one expects such a shy person to be apart of the feared organization. He would spend his time training and mentoring you like Akutagawa, but he wouldn’t be nearly as harsh. You don’t have the ability and skills Akutagawa does, but you still should know basic self defense. Who knows? Maybe one day he’ll wrap you up in bandages and train you to follow in his footsteps.

y!dazai and emotional reader..,, since he’s somewhat emotionally unavailable it’s really hard for him to understand how reader is feeling but he’ll try to act sympathetic just for the sake of them</3

YESSS okay hold on lemme just .

Dazai groaned. This was the third time you’d replied to him with the same - in his opinion - lame excuse. “He can just finish the reports on his own! They aren’t even yours to complete.”

“I offered to help Kunikida and I’m sticking by it. He deserves time to relax as well, you know? What’s wrong with lending a hand?” Your words made Dazai puff out his cheeks as he thought. Well, the main issue is that it’s taking time away from him. Shouldn’t your boyfriend be your top priority, rather than your coworker? “I’m sorry, Dazai. We can have that date tomorrow, alright? I promise.”

“Okay,” Dazai replies curtly. He doesn’t mean to be terse towards you, his beautiful and wonderful partner (his words not mine), but he just couldn’t understand where you were coming from. All he does is pawn off his work onto others, and Dazai is sure the rest of the agency would do the same if given the opportunity. And yet, here you are, staying late just to finish reports that aren’t yours.

His sudden gruff attitude caused you to frown, feeling a little guilty for leaving your boyfriend alone. “Hey,” you spun around in your chair to properly face him, discarding the pen you were working with momentarily. “We can spend time together tonight, alright? I promise, if I had known you planned something for us I wouldn’t have taken this on.”

Dazai knows that; Of course Dazai knows that. But… “Doesn’t spending time with me sound more fun?” He leans in, bumping his nose onto yours to try and entice you into joining him at home.

“One hundred percent,” you chuckle. An amused smile pulls at the edges of your lips as you lean back, turning once more to the extra paperwork you agreed to take on.

“Then why won’t you?” It’s not every day Dazai comes across something he can’t easily understand. With eyebrows stitched together, lips pursed into a small frown, he couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t just join him. Kunikida wouldn’t be mad that you went home when you were supposed to; As much of a hard-ass as that man is, he understands the importance of a good work-life balance.

One of the reasons Dazai was always so drawn to you was your kindness and emotional side. At first you were merely a puzzle to him - a way to alleviate his boredom for a few weeks before something new came along. But even after all this time, he still hadn’t quite cracked the way you gravitate towards the illogical.

“I want to help out a friend, that’s all.”

Dazai thought back to his friend, one he’d have done anything to help out. Maybe he’s beginning to understand you.

“I’ll see you back at your apartment later, alright? I love you, Dazai.”

The brunet lets out a hum, indicating he heard you, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head and slipping on his coat. “See you later, then.”

THE WAY DAZAI JUST ISNT YANDERE ?? i forgot LMAOO i'm sorry anon :(

It's late.

Dazai feels a little ashamed, if he were to be honest. How pathetic is it that he's unable to sleep unless in the arms of his coworker? A little pathetic. His eyebrows furrow as he begins to pick the lock to your apartment.

It's late. You're probably asleep.

He's jealous. Yeah; the clenching feeling in his chest is jealousy from your ability to sleep through the nights (a feeling of his that isn't shared towards his well-rested coworkers). You're asleep, and he should be. He will be.

The door clicks quietly, and Dazai doesn't react. How many times has he broken into your apartment? The question is left unanswered as he saunters into the place, making sure to close and lock it behind him.

You're asleep. It's late.

He makes a pit stop by your kitchen, staring blankly into your fridge like he'd do if he lived here. He counts the number of half finished water bottles littering the shelves, dispersed in between random ingredients you don't open and snacks that are dwindling in number.

If Dazai lived here, maybe he could make you dinner sometime. Gather the ingredients to fill your fridge, put a pan on the stove — however people cook, he can't remember. The fridge closes quietly; It's late. You're asleep.

With a final glance towards the sink, taking note of the dirty cutlery delicately balanced around the edges, he makes his way into the hall. Three steps and he'd be outside your door, your bedroom door, where you're asleep.

Dazai pushes away the same thought that keeps appearing in his mind. Of course you're asleep, it's late.

He turns away from your bedroom and finds himself standing in your living room. It's happily lived in - cushions that have lost their fluff, a blanket strewed across the couch haphazardly. His hand runs over it; always the same blanket. Dazai can imagine sitting under this blanket on the couch with you, the couch you two would share, watching some movie on your small tv just across the small room.

If he lived here, he'd make sure to tidy up the living room before you two went to bed. You kept a basket of blankets just next to the tv, and Dazai could easily drape the blanket back into it before following you off to bed. For now, he leaves it; There'd be no trace he was here come morning.

Once again, he finds himself mere steps away from your bedroom door. You live alone, for now, and yet keep the door closed every night. Is it habit? Are you worried some barbarian will break in just to watch you sleep? (Dazai isn't here to watch you, of course; He's here to sleep as well.) If that is what you're worried about, he could always spend the night with you, just to make sure you're safe. Well, spend the whole night with you, rather than breaking in late and sneaking out early.

Dazai turns into the bathroom.

You have the cutest rug next to your shower, one that always makes Dazai smile. A tough persona is applied at the agency, so only he is privy to your cute pink Sanrio bathmat. It's not what he would have expected for you, and that's what makes him smile. Your counter holds an electric toothbrush and has a lot of clutter Dazai wants to sort through. If he lived with you, he could place his toothbrush next to yours and keep your hair care stuff in the cabinet below. Maybe one day you'd let Dazai comb your hair, with a brush or just his fingers.

It's late. You're asleep. The same thought Dazai has been pushing down since he began the walk to your apartment fills his head once more. He's not delusional, no, but what if you weren't asleep? What if you were waiting up, just for him?

His hand touches the doorknob. It's late. You have no reason to think he's coming. The door opens slowly and quietly as he peers in.

You're asleep.

Dazai's chest constricts and he can't help the frown pulling at his lips. Of course you're asleep; He's stupid to get his hopes up. If you were awake anyway, you'd kick him out and probably call the cops. He is trespassing right now, at a time when you're most vulnerable.

Still, Dazai slips into your warm, cream-colored sheets, his hands clasped together under his cheek as he lies on his side. You're so calm, so serene under the dull light of a street lamp just outside the bedroom window. Hesitantly, Dazai's hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, the tips of his fingers experimentally tracing your skin.

His eyes flutter shut when you move closer. Were you used to his presence? Dazai likes to think you need him to sleep as much as he needs you. Sure, you could fall asleep without him curled up beside you, but maybe he was soothing nightmares. The thought made him frown. He shouldn't care, he shouldn't be here. His eyebrows furrowed like they had when he first broke in — this is weird. This is illegal, too.

A frustrated puff of air leaves his mouth, his eyes shutting more firmly. Tighter, tighter — why isn't he asleep yet?

He curls more into himself, feeling ashamed and embarrassed and anxious and annoyed and-

Your hand moves from your chest to his, softly resting over his heart. The small smile resides back on Dazai's face as he relaxes, slowly drifting to sleep in your bed.

Light filters in through your sheer curtains, the sun kissing your face as you quickly wake up. The blaring of your alarm was the first thing you'd noticed, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you turned to shut it off. Just a few moments of peace, and then you'd get up....

Those few moments didn't come to pass before you were hit with a boost of energy, sitting up in your empty bed. Of course your bed was empty, no need to emphasize it. You live alone, did you expect someone to be there when you woke up?

MANN i just found your blog and ur dazai is just 😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲 i love it. hes so pathetic, i love pathetically obsessed men, my beloathed ❤️❤️. ur writing is mwah mwnah mwah kissing you on your forehead ,,,,

but i read that lil hand playing excerpt and i just... gahh cute!

lol this is probably a dumb little thing but i like cracking my friends knuckles, i would def crack his knuckles if i held his hand, just to see his reaction (and i think its satisfying)

anyway thank you for your service 🫡 gained a follower my good sir

GDJAEHD THANK YOU!!!! i will continue to be pathetic dazai's number one soldier 🫡 i can imagine reader adding slight pressure to his knuckles before suddenly CRACK! ... dazai just looks so bewildered for a moment O.o he'll just give you his other hand and ask if you'll do it again LMAO

do u have any y!dazai hcs?

it definitely depends on how i want to write him! i really like making him deludedly obsessed with his darling ❤️ like ohhh they love me too,,, they're playing hard to get, they're teasing me, etc - leaves room for eerie fluff (got smth like this drafted btw) where he just dotes on his darling while they're terrified 😳😳

BUT THERE'S SOMEThing about dazai who Knows. like he's a smart guy, he understands what he's doing is wrong and he knows you would rather be anywhere else. You freeze up as he enters his dorm day in and day out, flinching away from his gentle touches. He tries not to force you into anything, staying six feet away and sleeping on the couch. He loves you so badly he just can't let you go, but that doesn't mean he enjoys seeing you hurting. Dazai who tries his hardest to slowly get you to see what he does: that he loves you too much to ever hurt you. Oda had instructed him to be better, to do better, but every time he promises he'll let you go, he'll take you out on real dates... Well, there's always next week.

ALSO IMAGINE a harsh dazai who knows both what he wants and how to get it. he's manipulative !!!! dazai who takes away food privileges until you say you love him back; who pulls away and refuses to talk to his darling just knowing they'll feel so alone without any human contact and come running back to him... ouuugh he's the worst! he'll get a tiny mattress just so your options are his cold, hard floors or to huddle so close to him on the fluffy bed.... i hate him.

these all are if he kidnaps you ofc 😭 i kinda like a possessive loser yandere dazai who hates to see you w others but won't ask you out (commitment issues ⁉️ ) so he just stews from afar. constantly mad. still definitely manipulative, like withdrawing from you because you went on a mission without him (never mind that you don't get to pick..) or spent time with Anyone Else. he has to cradle you closely but if you try to take it further he just gets all pouty because what you have works, but if you look for someone else to date instead....

no matter what i think ada yan!dazai is unlikely to kill! (maybe delusional dazai would pretend he has no choice or he's just putting them to sleep ❤️) he'll definitely threaten, maim, and hinder the lives of those showing slight interest in his darling tho :)

urrrgggg hc that yan dazai pets his darling like a fucking dog or smth. just because he never experienced real love and only sees ppl with their pets so he's like yeah that's enough affection 👍🏻

It's late.

Dazai feels a little ashamed, if he were to be honest. How pathetic is it that he's unable to sleep unless in the arms of his coworker? A little pathetic. His eyebrows furrow as he begins to pick the lock to your apartment.

It's late. You're probably asleep.

He's jealous. Yeah; the clenching feeling in his chest is jealousy from your ability to sleep through the nights (a feeling of his that isn't shared towards his well-rested coworkers). You're asleep, and he should be. He will be.

The door clicks quietly, and Dazai doesn't react. How many times has he broken into your apartment? The question is left unanswered as he saunters into the place, making sure to close and lock it behind him.

You're asleep. It's late.

He makes a pit stop by your kitchen, staring blankly into your fridge like he'd do if he lived here. He counts the number of half finished water bottles littering the shelves, dispersed in between random ingredients you don't open and snacks that are dwindling in number.

If Dazai lived here, maybe he could make you dinner sometime. Gather the ingredients to fill your fridge, put a pan on the stove — however people cook, he can't remember. The fridge closes quietly; It's late. You're asleep.

With a final glance towards the sink, taking note of the dirty cutlery delicately balanced around the edges, he makes his way into the hall. Three steps and he'd be outside your door, your bedroom door, where you're asleep.

Dazai pushes away the same thought that keeps appearing in his mind. Of course you're asleep, it's late.

He turns away from your bedroom and finds himself standing in your living room. It's happily lived in - cushions that have lost their fluff, a blanket strewed across the couch haphazardly. His hand runs over it; always the same blanket. Dazai can imagine sitting under this blanket on the couch with you, the couch you two would share, watching some movie on your small tv just across the small room.

If he lived here, he'd make sure to tidy up the living room before you two went to bed. You kept a basket of blankets just next to the tv, and Dazai could easily drape the blanket back into it before following you off to bed. For now, he leaves it; There'd be no trace he was here come morning.

Once again, he finds himself mere steps away from your bedroom door. You live alone, for now, and yet keep the door closed every night. Is it habit? Are you worried some barbarian will break in just to watch you sleep? (Dazai isn't here to watch you, of course; He's here to sleep as well.) If that is what you're worried about, he could always spend the night with you, just to make sure you're safe. Well, spend the whole night with you, rather than breaking in late and sneaking out early.

Dazai turns into the bathroom.

You have the cutest rug next to your shower, one that always makes Dazai smile. A tough persona is applied at the agency, so only he is privy to your cute pink Sanrio bathmat. It's not what he would have expected for you, and that's what makes him smile. Your counter holds an electric toothbrush and has a lot of clutter Dazai wants to sort through. If he lived with you, he could place his toothbrush next to yours and keep your hair care stuff in the cabinet below. Maybe one day you'd let Dazai comb your hair, with a brush or just his fingers.

It's late. You're asleep. The same thought Dazai has been pushing down since he began the walk to your apartment fills his head once more. He's not delusional, no, but what if you weren't asleep? What if you were waiting up, just for him?

His hand touches the doorknob. It's late. You have no reason to think he's coming. The door opens slowly and quietly as he peers in.

You're asleep.

Dazai's chest constricts and he can't help the frown pulling at his lips. Of course you're asleep; He's stupid to get his hopes up. If you were awake anyway, you'd kick him out and probably call the cops. He is trespassing right now, at a time when you're most vulnerable.

Still, Dazai slips into your warm, cream-colored sheets, his hands clasped together under his cheek as he lies on his side. You're so calm, so serene under the dull light of a street lamp just outside the bedroom window. Hesitantly, Dazai's hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, the tips of his fingers experimentally tracing your skin.

His eyes flutter shut when you move closer. Were you used to his presence? Dazai likes to think you need him to sleep as much as he needs you. Sure, you could fall asleep without him curled up beside you, but maybe he was soothing nightmares. The thought made him frown. He shouldn't care, he shouldn't be here. His eyebrows furrowed like they had when he first broke in — this is weird. This is illegal, too.

A frustrated puff of air leaves his mouth, his eyes shutting more firmly. Tighter, tighter — why isn't he asleep yet?

He curls more into himself, feeling ashamed and embarrassed and anxious and annoyed and-

Your hand moves from your chest to his, softly resting over his heart. The small smile resides back on Dazai's face as he relaxes, slowly drifting to sleep in your bed.

Light filters in through your sheer curtains, the sun kissing your face as you quickly wake up. The blaring of your alarm was the first thing you'd noticed, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you turned to shut it off. Just a few moments of peace, and then you'd get up....

Those few moments didn't come to pass before you were hit with a boost of energy, sitting up in your empty bed. Of course your bed was empty, no need to emphasize it. You live alone, did you expect someone to be there when you woke up?

we need to talk about your theme more its so cute for no reason.. or mayb i just like deers hehe

thanks sm! webkinz deer !!!! i love that he's just a little guy that's the vibe i'm tryna emulate :))

i love your posts sm

you’re my fav tumblr writer

OMG????? THANK YOU SM

nikolai gogol she/her pronouns. hm.

Dazai is antsy. For those who've seen him regularly the past month, this isn't a new sight: him pulling at the edges of his bandages, shifting continuously in his seat, eyes flittering back and forth... It happens daily at this point.

Until you show up, when he jumps into your arms, drapes himself over your back, leans into your side, anything he can do to be as physically close to you as possible. His clinginess has started to affect your work, unable to do much as Dazai pulls you onto his lap during the day or sits on yours, head pushed into your shoulder. At least lunches are fine as he pulls you onto the Agency's couch and holds you from behind: you can still access your packed food (which Dazai always steals bites of).

Holding your hand isn't enough, either. Dazai needs to be on top of you or have you on top of him, or he's antsy — which leads us to now. He's shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of your car, the edges of his bandages unraveling as he picks at them. A small look of panic crosses his face as he finally notices, discretely trying to pull them more tightly in hopes of bringing them back to how they were before.

He glances over at you. Your eyes were focused on the road, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other resting on your lap. The hand was taunting Dazai, practically begging him to grab it... so he did. You glance at the intertwined hands briefly before smiling at him, focusing back on the road right after.

...

It wasn't helping. You're right there and he can't hold you? So close he can smell you but can't have you in his embrace?! This must be his own hell, fashioned by Satan himself to torture Dazai for all eternity (or for the next ten minutes before you reach your destination).

"You alright, Dazai?"

He huffs at your question; Of course not. The childish pout on his face makes you let out a breathy laugh. He turns to you with such adoration - what an adorable sound that he coaxed out of you... Ugh, it just makes him want to hold you more.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly, the feeling causing Dazai to relax momentarily... Until once again he's thinking about the warmth of your hand, and how much warmer it'd be to hold you.

"How much longer?" He whines, the same pout on his lips.

"GPS says seven minutes. Are you that excited for this case?" An amused smirk plays on your lips, the teasing tone making Dazai's heart flutter.

He shifts in his seat, the hand not holding yours fidgeting with the fabric of his vest. "Excited for it to be over," he replies, trying to keep his gaze out the window and not on you.

"Seven minutes, and then you can solve it."

Seven minutes. Seven long, excruciating minutes in hell before he can touch you again, hold you again. Seven minutes, 420 seconds, a few red lights and then a shoddy parking job. Seven minutes... seven...

You let out a yelp, eyes widening as you swerve slightly on the road. "Dazai!" You chastise, both hands moving to tightly grip the steering wheel.

His face is pressed up against your neck, hands grabbing you tightly as he leans over the car's center console to be closer. A stupid grin sits on his lips as he giggles, feeling heady from your warmth. Mmm, this is what he was missing...

"Dazai, I'm driving!" you say, as though the man would understand and move off of you. Instead, he lets out a low whine and hugs you tighter, entirely off of his seat and pressing up against you.

"I'm not stopping you." Your gaze shifts over towards him. "Eyes on the road." You huff, but do as he says. His eyes were closed, how could he see you looking at him?

"You can't do this, Dazai."

"It's like you said: it's only seven minutes," Dazai grinned smugly. Part of him wanted to ask why you didn't like him holding you so closely, but he knew you didn't mind. Should he be clinging to you while you're driving? Probably not, but then maybe you shouldn't be so warm and inviting.

You say nothing else, now focused entirely on the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Dazai says nothing either: after all, he got what he wanted.

Dazai is antsy. For those who've seen him regularly the past month, this isn't a new sight: him pulling at the edges of his bandages, shifting continuously in his seat, eyes flittering back and forth... It happens daily at this point.

Until you show up, when he jumps into your arms, drapes himself over your back, leans into your side, anything he can do to be as physically close to you as possible. His clinginess has started to affect your work, unable to do much as Dazai pulls you onto his lap during the day or sits on yours, head pushed into your shoulder. At least lunches are fine as he pulls you onto the Agency's couch and holds you from behind: you can still access your packed food (which Dazai always steals bites of).

Holding your hand isn't enough, either. Dazai needs to be on top of you or have you on top of him, or he's antsy — which leads us to now. He's shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of your car, the edges of his bandages unraveling as he picks at them. A small look of panic crosses his face as he finally notices, discretely trying to pull them more tightly in hopes of bringing them back to how they were before.

He glances over at you. Your eyes were focused on the road, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other resting on your lap. The hand was taunting Dazai, practically begging him to grab it... so he did. You glance at the intertwined hands briefly before smiling at him, focusing back on the road right after.

...

It wasn't helping. You're right there and he can't hold you? So close he can smell you but can't have you in his embrace?! This must be his own hell, fashioned by Satan himself to torture Dazai for all eternity (or for the next ten minutes before you reach your destination).

"You alright, Dazai?"

He huffs at your question; Of course not. The childish pout on his face makes you let out a breathy laugh. He turns to you with such adoration - what an adorable sound that he coaxed out of you... Ugh, it just makes him want to hold you more.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly, the feeling causing Dazai to relax momentarily... Until once again he's thinking about the warmth of your hand, and how much warmer it'd be to hold you.

"How much longer?" He whines, the same pout on his lips.

"GPS says seven minutes. Are you that excited for this case?" An amused smirk plays on your lips, the teasing tone making Dazai's heart flutter.

He shifts in his seat, the hand not holding yours fidgeting with the fabric of his vest. "Excited for it to be over," he replies, trying to keep his gaze out the window and not on you.

"Seven minutes, and then you can solve it."

Seven minutes. Seven long, excruciating minutes in hell before he can touch you again, hold you again. Seven minutes, 420 seconds, a few red lights and then a shoddy parking job. Seven minutes... seven...

You let out a yelp, eyes widening as you swerve slightly on the road. "Dazai!" You chastise, both hands moving to tightly grip the steering wheel.

His face is pressed up against your neck, hands grabbing you tightly as he leans over the car's center console to be closer. A stupid grin sits on his lips as he giggles, feeling heady from your warmth. Mmm, this is what he was missing...

"Dazai, I'm driving!" you say, as though the man would understand and move off of you. Instead, he lets out a low whine and hugs you tighter, entirely off of his seat and pressing up against you.

"I'm not stopping you." Your gaze shifts over towards him. "Eyes on the road." You huff, but do as he says. His eyes were closed, how could he see you looking at him?

"You can't do this, Dazai."

"It's like you said: it's only seven minutes," Dazai grinned smugly. Part of him wanted to ask why you didn't like him holding you so closely, but he knew you didn't mind. Should he be clinging to you while you're driving? Probably not, but then maybe you shouldn't be so warm and inviting.

You say nothing else, now focused entirely on the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Dazai says nothing either: after all, he got what he wanted.

Dazai didn't mind you playing with his hand. In fact, he kind of liked the attention and care you seemed to be showing him, even if it was just towards one appendage. Light tugging and pushing on fingers, delicately tracing his knuckles and the scars littering the back, and even occasionally lacing your fingers with his for a moment — Dazai was happy to let you do it all. To think hands that have previously participated in such horrid acts could be treated so gently made butterflies erupt in his tummy.

He let you do whatever (having trouble saying no to you) while he wasted time rereading his book. You'd pull his hand to your face sporadically through your time playing with it, so it never caused Dazai any alarm. Sometimes you would inspect it closely, sometimes you'd drag his calloused fingertips along your cheek just to see if the degree of toughness had changed, but his favorite was when you'd press a tiny kiss to his palm. Usually that meant playtime was over — soon you'd drop his hand onto his lap and scurry away. Even knowing it brought about the end of his favorite time with you, the tingly feeling of your lips on his skin lingering long after you'd leave made it worth it. All this to say, Dazai was used to you tugging his hand up towards his face, bringing it closer to your mouth. He had to work overtime to keep his heartbeat steady, certain of what was to come next, when...

"Ow!"

It was hard to catch Dazai off guard. You weren't even trying, you just... Well, you wanted to see what would happen.

"Did you just bite me?" He couldn't help the amused (his coworkers would say smitten) smile on his lips as he turned to look at you.

You turned to him with wide doe eyes, a deer caught in headlights as you seemed unaware you had even done something wrong. Timidly, you press a tiny, chaste kiss to the tip of his middle finger — the same finger you'd gently bitten the top of moments prior.

"Mmh... Sorry, Dazai." Your words were languid, gently squeezing his hand before dropping it out of your hold.

Dazai wanted to pout, to say 'you forgot my kiss' while pointing to his palm, but he was too focused on his middle finger — the tingling of where you kissed him and the warmth of your mouth he'd felt around his fingertip for a fleeting moment. As you shuffled beside him, preparing to stand up, his hand shot out to grip yours.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The smirk on his face told you he wasn't too upset by your impulsive action, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Um, away..?"

A grin spanned across his face as he leaned closer. "Not before my payback, you aren't."

Losing distance, his mouth opened slowly until his head stopped just over your shoulder. "I require penance, you know," he mumbled before biting down onto the soft skin.

Dazai didn't mind you playing with his hand. In fact, he kind of liked the attention and care you seemed to be showing him, even if it was just towards one appendage. Light tugging and pushing on fingers, delicately tracing his knuckles and the scars littering the back, and even occasionally lacing your fingers with his for a moment — Dazai was happy to let you do it all. To think hands that have previously participated in such horrid acts could be treated so gently made butterflies erupt in his tummy.

He let you do whatever (having trouble saying no to you) while he wasted time rereading his book. You'd pull his hand to your face sporadically through your time playing with it, so it never caused Dazai any alarm. Sometimes you would inspect it closely, sometimes you'd drag his calloused fingertips along your cheek just to see if the degree of toughness had changed, but his favorite was when you'd press a tiny kiss to his palm. Usually that meant playtime was over — soon you'd drop his hand onto his lap and scurry away. Even knowing it brought about the end of his favorite time with you, the tingly feeling of your lips on his skin lingering long after you'd leave made it worth it. All this to say, Dazai was used to you tugging his hand up towards his face, bringing it closer to your mouth. He had to work overtime to keep his heartbeat steady, certain of what was to come next, when...

"Ow!"

It was hard to catch Dazai off guard. You weren't even trying, you just... Well, you wanted to see what would happen.

"Did you just bite me?" He couldn't help the amused (his coworkers would say smitten) smile on his lips as he turned to look at you.

You turned to him with wide doe eyes, a deer caught in headlights as you seemed unaware you had even done something wrong. Timidly, you press a tiny, chaste kiss to the tip of his middle finger — the same finger you'd gently bitten the top of moments prior.

"Mmh... Sorry, Dazai." Your words were languid, gently squeezing his hand before dropping it out of your hold.

Dazai wanted to pout, to say 'you forgot my kiss' while pointing to his palm, but he was too focused on his middle finger — the tingling of where you kissed him and the warmth of your mouth he'd felt around his fingertip for a fleeting moment. As you shuffled beside him, preparing to stand up, his hand shot out to grip yours.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The smirk on his face told you he wasn't too upset by your impulsive action, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Um, away..?"

A grin spanned across his face as he leaned closer. "Not before my payback, you aren't."

Losing distance, his mouth opened slowly until his head stopped just over your shoulder. "I require penance, you know," he mumbled before biting down onto the soft skin.

YANDERE DAZAI VAMPIRE DARLING CHEERING CHEERING . i'm just like dazai that's soo romantic

vamp!darling who just cries afterwards bc they're so against it morally while dazai just tries to explain that this is a good thing! it'll bring you two closer, it's bonding! but darling is just so heartbroken 

tries to feed on animals again to retain some semblance of control but it's all nasty now. did it always taste this... rotten? ends up undernourished and paler than usual, irritable.... and dazai loves it. he wants his darling to be happy of course, but seeing them soo upset just because they haven't had his blood? 🥰🥰 he's giggling blushing kicking his feetsies i just KNOW it.

finally darling comes to him, tail between their legs to ask for just a drop, really just a drop, and then they'll go back to the prepackaged stuff, the stray roadkill or a wandering deer, promise! and dazai, flattered as ever, agrees... and now there's no going back for poor vamp!darling :(((

okay sorry i LOVE your work it always gets my mind racing with ideas you're so . ❤️ gn

!!!!! no u r so <333!!+<!!!!33333

cw: blood, manipulation, yandere character

you have no idea that all of this was planned—quickly believing dazai when he claims that it was all a huge mistake! that he was planning on using his blood for donating (you don't even stop to question how stupid that excuse is) and he didn't mean to leave it lying around and now you're going to hate him and—

it takes you a while to placate him after which he has other thoughts on the matter. you've forgiven him, but was there really anything to forgive? he was certain that this was everything you were supposed to do, and that drinking from hin deepened your bond with him. why would you hate such an intimate act, and why would you think it to be wrong?

you don't listen, of course, stubborn as you always are, trying to keep yourself occupied with other things and strictly drinking from animals again. you even refuse to see him until you're certain that you're full, but nothing truly stops the mindnumbing craving you've acquired for dazai. and honestly, he's thrilled that you ache for him as much as he does, but it was starting to get a little painful, how you turned away from him.

he sees you suffer in your yearning, and he can't help but think that everything would be alright if you just let yourself do as you like, and as he wants.

and then you come crawling to him yourself.

he has to bite back his smile, forcing himself to look as sombre as you did in the moment. he listens quietly as you tell him how horrible you feel and how unfair this is on him (it takes everything in him to not explode in protests and reassure you that this is all he could want from you, but he has an act to uphold)

and when you admit that you can't stop the hunger for him, eyes glued to the floor in shame, dazai thinks he might grab you and kiss you senseless, if he could. but he stays silent and nods as though it made perfect sense to him (which, of course, it did.) and he pretends to think it over when you ask him if he'd mind letting you feed from him just once more. you look so relieved when he agrees, eyes brightened and a soft smile on your face, and it infuriates him that you'd always look so happy if you just stopped being so paranoid. but some progress was better than nothing, he thinks, tucking his face into the crook of your neck, and soon, he's sure he could convince you.

small insinuation of self harm

Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))

Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...

He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.

But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.

Oh.

He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting — feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.

"Are you alright?"

A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.

Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and love— and like you.

You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.

It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.

Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.

You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.

How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."

Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?

"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anything— saying anything you aren't ready for yet."

Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.

Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.

You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.

Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.

"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.

He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.

Stereotypical vampire darling but they refuse to drink from humans and mostly drinks from animals like bunnies and birds lmao

cw: blood, feeding on animals and people, yandere themes, deception, drugging with blood??

thank you to domi (@.cqthqrtic) for talking to me abt human dazai w a vampire s/o!! this was inspired by the conversation we had hehe

!!! vampire darling w human dazai who's just desperate for them to feed on him. please take his blood. please...it's all he wants. he's kind of addicted to the feeling but more than that he loves the idea of having his blood in you, of you having to drink his blood to stay alive. how romantic! he's literally part of you and within you.

he's devastated when you tell him that you don't feed on people, and stares enviously at your prey instead. he just knows that he'd taste better, and if you'd just stop being so stubborn and have one try, you'd never go back.

but you were far more patient than him, and far more resolute in your decisions.

you're still sweet to him, of course, kissing him and holding him and telling him you love him—but you're firm on not feeding, and dazai aches for that final connection. he tells you that he wants it, that it wouldn't hurt (and even if it did, he'd like it) and he'd wear your marks proudly, but nothing convinces you. the moment he brings it up, you shoot him a tired look and repeat the same excuses again.

if his words weren't enough to convince you, maybe he should just give you a taste of what you're missing.

there are days, when the weather is too cold, that you drink off pre-filled bags instead. during one of your long trips away, dazai, with a lot of careful planning and shaky excecution, replaces a bag with his blood instead. it was a process done over time, since he didn't want to risk loosing too much in one go, and there were too many potential obstacles—you could differenciate human and animal blood just from scent alone, for one, or you could stop drinking once you had a single drop—but it was his beat shot.

lucky him, then, that you came home famished and too exhausted to check. by the time you had finished the bag, you were staring at him with a disturbed expression, but dazai knew it was too late.

you would never forget the taste.

dazai is alive you just dont get it

small insinuation of self harm

Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))

Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...

He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.

But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.

Oh.

He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting — feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.

"Are you alright?"

A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.

Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and love— and like you.

You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.

It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.

Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.

You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.

How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."

Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?

"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anything— saying anything you aren't ready for yet."

Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.

Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.

You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.

Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.

"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.

He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.

absolutely love reading such a well-written story and falling a bit in love with the author based solely on the way they write. like baby the way you italicize words makes my heartbeat quicken.

i got smth cooking but it's a bit different from my usual shenanigans. stay tuned mayb :) <3 !!!

ok so demon dazai is great but have you considered. Demon reader? Just imagine demon!reader who has some clingy human who they havent figured out how to get rid of

as a matter of fact i love the idea of a demon reader. esp with dazai. can u imagine mr osamu dazai summoning a demon and decides you need to stick around. so let's say you need to fulfil the wish of your summoner to go back to hell because you're bound to him or something along those lines. at first he tells you he just did it for fun and didn't actually expect you to show up and then as you spend more time w him and he starts liking you, he decides he just will not make a wish so you stay around longer!!!

dazai is perfect for this because he'll be fascinated by a demon reader. and he works perfectly as the super clingy human who doesn't care that you could quite literally pulverize him. asks u to pick him up and carry him and pokes and prods at you nonstop.

no return

dazai osamu / reader + ??? / reader

notes: mild yandere themes, u drink alcohol, inspired by the manhwa 'a false confession' (massive rec hehe) drabble..? oneshot..? i don't know what to call this since it's not really fleshed out and not given that much thought so maybe its just a random blurb hahaha not proofread i just click post and never look back thats just how i am

the moment you step into the balcony, your legs almost gave out. your hand having to lean on the vine ornamented pillar as support. stillness draping over despite the festivity just behind the door.

just a few feet beyond you, stood your senior. even with your vision hazy and eyes half lidded, you think you can see his silhouette leaning over the railings, his back turned against you, coat billowing in the wind, tousling the hair of his that you've always wanted to tuck behind his ear.

he looks particularly different, today.

the man of your affections — whose hands that are always resting upon your shoulders, his touch lingering a far too much for someone who is only concerned about his coworker, muttering words of 'good job!' every time he looks over your computer to see the progress of the report he assigned.

he, who is always eager to bring you trinkets of all kinds after being assigned in a case, and if you had the ability similar to his, you would've caught on the fact that the trinkets are always given by him personally, rather than your unfortunate coworkers whose gifts are left in their desks.

yet frown would replace your previous smile once he pulls away with a pat; when you remember that everyone got the same gift as you did.

(oh, how you lamented every second that passes without him knowing how you felt.)

but that will change tonight — your intoxicated self decided to confess your long time admiration for your senior. 'and if he rejects your love, then you can just say that you were too drunk! it's easy!' tanizaki said so, as he handed you an alcoholic drink, and you shouldn't have trusted any words that comes out of the orange haired mans mouth.

even if the others knew how bad you felt about him, you prefer to believe that you could keep your feelings to yourself.

with a determination only a drunken one can have, you step further away from the loud music of the party and towards the man.

a heavy breath escapes your lips as you stand just a few feet behind him.

"sir," you first regard him with his title you've always used during work, and a part of you wonders if you'll be able to call him endearments you've always wanted to say after he accepts your confession.

you don't think you can look at him right now.

"i've been thinking about this a lot," you begin, hushed but nonetheless made for him to hear. "i, don't know if, i should really say this…" your eyes drift down to your feet, deliberating whether you should beat around the bush.

but you know you can't, this feelings of yours is too much; if you don't get to say it now, what will become of your sentiments? locked behind a glass heart that threatened to burst every time he's near?

"i really, really like you, sir." you finally say, your hands harshly gripping the sides of your clothes, scrunching them, wrinkles beginning to form on the flimsy fabric.

you refuse to meet his gaze.

silence ensues, the only sound heard; the loud rustling of the leaves against themselves.

"..."

ah, to think that you get rejected without even him saying anything.

"why?" he asks, then a hope ignites deep inside you.

"i just, really like it when you treat us kindly, you always go out your way to make sure i'm okay, your dedication to the agency is admirable, and i... just really like everything about you…"

"that's what any superior would do..." he replies coldly.

his words does not even travel first to your ears — it travels straight to your heart, so harshly that if it traveled to your ears first, you're certain you'd go deaf.

you stagger, the adrenaline the alcohol provided leaving your system.

then, he grabs your arm just in time, his bandaged hand surprisingly holding you delicately, as if he expects you to be gone once he pulls away.

"osamu. call me osamu, not sir." he says tenderly as he rests his hand on your shoulder, his arms coiling around you like a snake to a branch.

you smile gently as you bury your head in his chest. you can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his shirt, how strange, you've always thought he smell more like the sweets he'd always insist on eating. "osa—" the remaining syllables does not leave your tongue.

he rests his head on your shoulders, his curly coffee-like locks of hair tickling your neck.

osamu?

your eyes drift to his neck — are those bandages?

coffee-like?

dread fills your veins. dazai pulls back, your drunken haze along with it, finally able to look at him properly. his warm palm rests on your jaw. the dull brown eyes you’ve grown fearful of seems to reflect the stars, looking at you so, lovingly.

you don’t know what you’re supposed to be surprised of, the fact that a coworker whom you are scared of is looking at you softly, or the fact that he just accepted a confession that wasn’t meant to be his.

"should we keep our relationship a secret?" he asks with deceptive bashfulness.

--

"sir..?" you stammer as you try to look in ranpo's viridescent eyes for an answer to why he's holding your hand tightly.

"i've always thought that you…" his brows are knitted, refusing to meet your eyes, his own narrowed as he looks at the bracelet that adorns your wrist, an item begrudgingly accepted from dazai.

(he wonders if you would be mad if he forcibly ripped its beads out of you.)

he clicked his tongue at his own thoughts, shuffling to get a comfortable spot where he rested appropriately on his office chair.

"since when were you both close?"

Jealous demon dazai,, but like..growling teeth tearing claw jealous demon dazai..please hear me out guys

if you'd like a darker side of demonzai, i'll be happy to provide

cw: murder), blood and slight gore

it's in his nature to be cruel and wicked, even if you try to forget about it.

but it's impossible to ignore the glaring truth when you have dazai letting the mask slip right in front of you, the claws he pokes at you with painted a dark red, some mess of bloody flesh held in his hands as he stands in your doorway. his usual smile; mischievous and charming, is too forced now, too sharp and accompanied by an unnatural amusement.

"dazai," you call out, unsure of what to make of the scene, "what..."

you tell yourself it's a prank of some kind—he did like scaring you with props and silly stunts, but there was something about his blank gaze that told you otherwise.

"what?" he echoes, his smile widening, "you mean who, right?"

and he giggles—the sound sends shivers down your spine, your heart pounding—glancing down at the remains splattered over the floor with a slight pout.

"sorry 'bout the mess," his tone was far too light to be apologetic, but you stayed silent, "i'll get it cleaned up by morning."

"okay," you exhale, hoping he didn't comment on how your voice trembled, "and...who...?"

you're not sure if you want to know the answer, not sure if you could handle the weight of it, but seeing how excited he looked at the question, you knew he's have told you regardless.

"can't you guess?" he giggles again, and your eyes are fixated on how there's still blood dripping from his hands, the pool on your floor and the...pieces, "it was the delivery guy. you know, the one who stared at you all weird."

you think about dazai, and how he stares too. how he stares at you like he can't decide if you're worth keeping alive, if you'd be more fun to chase down than play house with.

you can't manage a reply.

"don't worry," he giggles again, and you're thinking about the cheerful expression that was ripped away by sharp claws and a deceiving smile, "nobody saw me. i made sure of it."

it was a good thing. if anyone had seen him, there would be far more blood on your floor and a larger mess for you to pretend to ignore.

"thar's good," your mouth moves on its own, and all you can hear is ringing in your ears. dazai's lips move, too, but you don't know what he's saying anymore. there's still blood on his hands, dripping to the floor. he'll want to hold you with those same hands, later tonight.

and you won't be able to refuse.

How about fem Dazai 15 in this?!

cute

Dazai's playful grin falters as you chastise him once more, the words punctuated with his name. His last name, once again.

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

Your playful attitude freezes at his question, your fake pout dropping as you turn slack jawed. "W-what?" A stutter passes through your lips as you just continue to stare.

"We've been dating for a few months now, and you never call me by my name." He plays off his words as a joke, something to fluster you, but with the way his fingers slightly pinch and pull at the edges of his bandages, you can tell he's being vulnerable.

An embarrassed blush decorates your face as you just continue to stare at him.

"I'd like it if you'd call me by my name, love." His flirting isn't helpful. From vulnerable fidgets to a cocky grin, Dazai (for once) inaccurately pegs your blush as a flustered reaction, likely feeling shy at the notion he'd now mentioned.

Inaccurate, because it wasn't a matter of not feeling ready, or close enough, but rather because-

"...What's your first name..?"

-you'd forgotten.

Dazai's eyes widen in a rare expression of genuine shock, his movements pausing at your timid question. The embarrassed blush decorating your face that had briefly fooled Dazai only began to grow.

You bury your face in the palms of your hands and let out a groan as Dazai begins laughing: a genuine, gut laugh that you rarely got to hear.

"It's Osamu," he says politely, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed. As you look up from the palms of your hands, you notice Osamu's soft expression and let out a sigh of relief.

You grin. "Nice to meet you, Osamu."

im sorry i cant help myself i need to drop my entire life story in the tags of my reblogs

Dazai's playful grin falters as you chastise him once more, the words punctuated with his name. His last name, once again.

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

Your playful attitude freezes at his question, your fake pout dropping as you turn slack jawed. "W-what?" A stutter passes through your lips as you just continue to stare.

"We've been dating for a few months now, and you never call me by my name." He plays off his words as a joke, something to fluster you, but with the way his fingers slightly pinch and pull at the edges of his bandages, you can tell he's being vulnerable.

An embarrassed blush decorates your face as you just continue to stare at him.

"I'd like it if you'd call me by my name, love." His flirting isn't helpful. From vulnerable fidgets to a cocky grin, Dazai (for once) inaccurately pegs your blush as a flustered reaction, likely feeling shy at the notion he'd now mentioned.

Inaccurate, because it wasn't a matter of not feeling ready, or close enough, but rather because-

"...What's your first name..?"

-you'd forgotten.

Dazai's eyes widen in a rare expression of genuine shock, his movements pausing at your timid question. The embarrassed blush decorating your face that had briefly fooled Dazai only began to grow.

You bury your face in the palms of your hands and let out a groan as Dazai begins laughing: a genuine, gut laugh that you rarely got to hear.

"It's Osamu," he says politely, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed. As you look up from the palms of your hands, you notice Osamu's soft expression and let out a sigh of relief.

You grin. "Nice to meet you, Osamu."

ok ok I have more thoughts on Reincarnated Villain Darling for bsd here I goooo

In your first life, you were not a particularly good person. you might not have been on par with the likes of fyodor or the port mafia, but you were infamous enough to be a household name around Yokohama. maybe you were more of a schemer, maybe a brute force type, but you caused your fair share of mayhem on your day.

until you died.

you had, at one time, believed all of your efforts- all the destruction and pain you caused- would eventually be justified. eventually, the universe or God or whatever would finally acknowledge you- and you could rest easily knowing that at least it'd all been for a just cause. but that didn't happen. you were caught, you were defeated, and you were killed- and nothing came of it at all. but now that you've been sent back in time, you can make things right! I mean you weren't sent back far enough that you don't already have something of a reputation but... you can make this work! people start over all the time, you can too!

unfortunately, suddenly deciding to become the next virgin mary in the middle of your reign of terror turns a few heads.

dazai is as hypocritical as they come. sure, HE left his criminal past behind to be a certified Good Boy, but he doesn't believe others can follow this method. hell, I don't even think he believes HES pulling it off. he doesn't trust your sudden shift one bit, so obviously he has to investigate. you don't let his distrusting glares or not-so-subtle digs phase you, though, you have amends to make. of course, the more you prove his suspicions about you wrong, the more determined he is to reveal your supposed "true nature". you think that turning your good deeds to him will get him off your back... but it's quite the opposite, unfortunately. you've only served to get him attached.

fyodor thinks it's rather interesting, especially if you're someone with an ability. an evil ability user suddenly turning from their wicked ways and repenting? how could he not want to see that for himself! while the concept of an ability user going from someone who bombs buildings to a bona-fide Saint who rescues kittens from trees kinda flies in the face of his entire ideology, he's more intrigued by the idea than annoyed by it. and wherever there's fyodor, there's gogol, who is going to be VERY interested in testing just how far he can push your new personality.

gonna cut myself short here but picture: being rivals with akutagawa and atsushi in your past and now the two of them follow you around like lost dogs. chuuya, the guy who you distinctly remember throwing a black hole directly at your face, won't stop trying to get you to agree to go out with him. any character you like! yosano, kunikida, ranpo, mushi, fitz, etc. everyone just HAS to known what's gotten into you lately!

and it seems like they're liking what they're seeing so far.

also while I'm here TELL ME UR YOSANO THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW????? YANDERE YOSANO FOR ME PLS???? ALSO THE CAT THING. IMAGINE BEING INCARNATED INTO BSD AS A CAT THAT DAZAI WONT STOP PSPSPSPSING AT

- 🩹

100/10 would reincarnate as a cat into bsd to get pspspspsed at by dazai <3 and i will never look at him so he feels crushed! slight manga spoilers about jouno's past but his part is at the end so you can stop before it!

ft nikolai, fyodor, dazai, jouno.

cw; yandere character, stalking, jealousy, obsession, manipulation.

it's nikolai who notices your odd behaviour first.

he's close behind you when you cautiously walk into the bank you stole from just two days ago, glancing all around you as you stumble in with the large bags in your arms. everyone around you freeze at the sight of your infamous disguise (nikolai thinks it's rather cowardly of you to not show your real face in public. you should be proud of your villainous exploits!) and your awkward attempts at reassuring them and shushing them goes terribly, as they all fall to the floor with tears in their eyes. still, you soldier on, wincing at the pure terror you see in the trembling figures and loud sobbing, and go to place the bags on the largest counter. the clerk already has his card out, ready to let you into any room you wish to rob, but you shake your head at him.

"no, i'm only here to return this," the clerk's eyes widen at your words, "i'll have the rest of the money i've taken sent to you later today. there was too much to carry," you laugh, and is that nervousness that nikolai senses in your voice? you, the ever confident criminal, are nervous, and in the face of a terrified pipsqueak? "and i wanted to apologize for all the trouble. there's more money in here," you toss another bag onto the counter, "but i would like this to be used for compensation, for everyone that was here last time, and today."

strange, nikolai thinks, even your manner of speaking seems to have changed. your voice isn't as thundering as it used to be, and your words are polite. the words you use are kinder, somehow, and you sound more sympathetic, not as obviously exaggerated.

even stranger is that you do just as you say, placing the money and immediately leaving the building. the police is called, and even a bomb squad just in case this was all a terrible joke, but the money is there as promised, and nothing else. and later that day, huge trucks line up outside the bank and money is left piled up inside, like you had said.

it's not that nikolai doesn't think that people can change, but there's something completely unnatural about your change in heart. nothing in particular seems to have inspired your sudden turnaround, as far as he's aware, you were even planning your next strike the night before, but you woke up and threw it all away, and instead marched yourself straight to the bank.

naturally, he needs answers. so he continues his little habit of following you around. it's a little unusual to see you without your disguise, living a perfectly normal life. you get your coffee from the same place every morning and take the same train and the same path and go to your ordinary job and it's so awfully boring that nikolai can't understand how you can bear it all. how do you go from the thrill of villainy to...this mundane, dull life?

despite all the monotony you've surrounded yourself with, nikolai can't say he finds you boring. he's always liked you, but not enough to want you dead. you're exciting, with your magnetic personality and outrageous stunts. and maybe, compared to the brutal violence by all the other 'villains' of yokohama, your presence is somewhat of a relief to the public. dangerous, but not lethal. if they keep their heads down and let you do your thing, they can leave the scene traumatized, but alive, and you'll leave a happy little bird. nikolai always found that amusing, if a little frustrating at times. why not just go all the way and kill the witnesses?

he listens closely to the boring conversations you have with your coworkers, about the weather and lunch and god how do you bear this? he watches you stand expressionless as you get berated about something by a superior, and finds himself giggling when you later get back at them by mixing laxatives into their coffee when they aren't looking. he's relieved, a light feeling bursting in his chest when he realizes you haven't completely changed for the better. you still have the stray bits of your previous self, and he's not sure why he's so happy to know that.

as time goes by, as he sees you doing more good—selfless acts that you have nothing to gain from, nikolai can no longer hide the curiosity burning inside of him. he wants to know why so badly, wants to know why you threw away all the fun and excitement and the wonderful selfish way of life to turn to this, and why you look happier.

"nikolai," you say when he finally reveals himself, "what brings you here?"

he notices your hand slipping into your pocket, curling around what he already knows is a weapon, and smiles to himself. good, you still had it in you.

"my good friend! how long has it been?" he croons, his voice almost grating like this, "i've missed seeing you around here."

you back away, eyes searching for an exit. before you can begin running, nikolai already has a hand through his coat to drag you to the ground, a malicious grin waiting.

"not so fast," he hisses, the smile widening, "you have a lot of explaining to do."

your last conversation with fyodor still lingers in his mind.

"i'm not interested." fyodor blinks at you, his previous smile having slipped off, "i understand that your values do not align with ours, but this opportunity—" "that's not the only reason," you explain, "not to say it isn't reason enough, but, well, i've decided to give it up. this life of crime, i mean." he stares at you for a moment longer before soft laughter echoes through the alley, "do you think it's that easy?" you glance around you, trying to plan an escape route just in case the man in front of you decides that you've pissed him off too much and turns you into a mess of blood and guts. he didn't sound angry, but the dostoevsky you know, and the one you remember, was very good at hiding his displeasure behind charismatic smiles and disguised threats. "to throw away everything you've worked...i wonder what changed your mind." you step back, "i've been reflecting on myself, and realized that maybe it's not that fun to wreak havoc when people's lives are endangered. turns out, i have tons of other hobbies when putting aside the...criminal acts." "oh?" fyodor's smile widens, and he steps forward, "found something else worth your time? i wouldn't think that saving kittens is all that interesting when compared to the heists you've pulled off." "they make for great company," you ramble, eyes flitting across the narrow path, "not much of conversationalists, but better than hostages. you should look into getting a cat for yourself. or a dog, or something." "thank you," his voice drips with mockery, "i'll keep that in mind."

people can change, of course, but someone like you, getting up and deciding to throw your past away, as though none of it mattered, as though you could bury it and go on...fyodor doesn't quite agree with it. it's quite peculiar. more so because this time, it concerned you. fyodor doesn't waste his time on petty criminals and their little antics, butt he can't say that he's never been drawn in by you and your extravagant performances that only serves to hide the hideous nature of your soul. he can't say it didn't pique his interest to see you destroy the building where government heads were to gather mere minutes before they made their entrance (and if seeing you grin and wave at the blond detective on scene, clearly waiting for you, made something inside him churn and boil, he didn't think twice about it.)

someone as unabashed and brazen as you was now scurrying away from him, hiding beneath a new identity and cleared records. he wonders, for a moment, if the detective killer was involved in anyway. but how would you know, of his ability? even fyodor had yet to make contact with him. when he later finds out that mushitaro oguri had escaped from the organization, he realizes that there's only one person too elusive to be caught after pulling off such an impossible feat.

people can change, he decides, but your change is unnatural, unwarranted. there was no great tragedy, no failed heist, no harsh punishment that had evoked such sudden development. And there was something else, that visceral sense of fear evident in you when he approached you that day—that wasn't normal. not when the last time you met him, barely a month ago on a rooftop while you were on the run, you stared him down with such impudence, your words laced with audacious condescendence while you prattled on about how lame he looked and a string of other insults before running off again. this wasn't the you he met that day; you had suddenly become aware of the danger he posed, your eyes glued to his gloved hands even while talking to him, searching for an exit in between sentences....so, what caused your change?

how normal was it, really? to wake up one day and decide to completely throw away everything about your life so far and turn into a seemingly ordinary person, to suddenly learn about his (and numerous others, if the case of the evidence suppressor was anything to go by) ability? such unprecedented gain in knowledge that was carefully guarded would be impossible by ordinary means. unless of course, you had somehow earned an ability that gave you such insight. there wasn't any definite conclusion about whether you had an ability or not, considering your resourceful arsenal and agility, but if this was the works of a newly gained ability, it would explain a lot. strange, though, that the moment you received a power that should only help propel your crimes to a greater extent, you shut it all down immediately.

but it's not too difficult for him to ease you back into his trap, with the use of the book and his connections. he has nikolai keep an eye on you while he plans your next encounter. he memorizes the way you walk home and studies how your changed personality may affect how you make your decisions now, and has a thousand questions he wants to wrench out an answer from you for in his mind, after imprisoning you.

but when you actually meet again on a particularly cold night, all he wants to know is why. even though he knows you won't give him the answer to the question that's haunting him all this time.

"[name]," he whispers, a hand on your cheek. you are painfully tense, eyes immediately closing when he touches you, and something inside him curls with displeasure, "you're going to hurt my feelings if you keep this up." he wonders if you can hear the bitterness coating every word of his.

"there shouldn't be such distance between old friends, don't you think?"

dazai finds out through ranpo that you've resigned from the villainous life, after the older man insists they didn't have to stake out at a bank for you because you had "given that life up," but even as he stares at footage of police officers claiming you had disappeared into thin air, he can't quite believe it.

until he meets you for the first time since your disappearance, and you're...different.

different in the way you observe the people around you closely, in the way your voice has hollowed out and you look smaller, like you've been eaten away at. what was bothering you, now? most people wouldn't recognize you underneath your disguise, so there was nothing to be wary about, right? he sees you go to work like a regular person, (you didn't work here before, he remembers, you didn't have to) and when you're on your way back and stop near an alleyway, regarding it with an unreadable expression, he immediately prepares to stop you. you were going to go into the alley and slip on your mask before coming out to wreak—you just walk away instead and he's left alone with his thoughts.

he finds out what's been tiring you out when he decides to spend a few more hours watching you after you get home—just in case he gets an opportunity to catch you red handed, of course—and to his delight, you do get suited up before leaving, but not to do what he expects. you're...not disrupting public safety, and he almost can't believe it, but it's you who's cleaning up a smaller street, you feeding the strays and you knocking out a bicycle thief before returning the stolen bike to its previous spot, and what does this mean?!

is it really that easy, he wonders, to give up a lifetime worth of crime and evil? did you never regret it, or miss your past? were you completely ready to embrace this new life, ready to slip on the mask of an ordinary citizen and make up for your past grievances?

(was it only him that struggled to do the same?)

dazai ponders on what could be motivating you, what was so great that it completely shattered every bad bone in your body and set you on the right path again. did you lose someone, too? but, he realizes, it's not melancholy or grief that follows you—it's desperation, that forces you to destroy every thread that links you back to what you used to be, it's fear that lingers in your constant alertness. what were you running from?

later, dazai's convinced that you're doing this to shake off everyone on your tail, lying low and leading the public into a false sense of security before returning with worse crimes than before, even though all the evidence tells him otherwise. your mask is destroyed, your weapons locked away, you even spend your evenings at pottery classes and cooking lessons instead of stalking through the streets of yokohama, looking for your next target. and you're surprisingly well adjusted, polite and coming across as perfectly normal despite your past, and dazai isn't envious about how easy you make it look, while he had to lie in hiding for years, he's just keeping an eye out for the people who may be harmed by you if—when—you decide to make a comeback. (but if someone asked him why he signed up for the evening classes you go for, he couldn't really give a good answer, except for "surveillance.")

turns out, he's not being too subtle.

"is there something you need?" you glance back momentarily, but your steps don't stop, "or are you just stalking me for the fun of it?"

dazai's mind immediately blanks, not expecting to be called out, and he fumbles for the best defense he has, "i am not stalking. i'm just keeping an eye on you, to make sure you don't...revert back to your old ways."

"i won't," he's a little taken aback by how you don't even question how he knew about your past, "but it's hard to leave all that behind when someone won't let it stay in the past."

"people don't change that easily—"

"are you speaking from personal experience?"

dazai inhales sharply, looking almost livid with how he glared at you, "i know you, [name]. you're planning something."

your responding smile is wry, and mocking, "i didn't know you were such a big fan of me. want an autograph while you're here?" but the expression drops immediately after, and your exasperation is only all the more obvious to him as you sigh, "listen, i can't tell you why i made this decision but i can promise that i'll never turn back."

and before dazai can throw out anymore accusations, you've already started walking away, leaving him alone yet again.

but your words echo in his mind, and though you were only trying to convince him otherwise, he resolutely decides that someone has to hold you to your final promise—and who better than him for the job?

jouno has been watching you for a while now, even before you started acting...strangely.

it wasn't anything personal, of course. it was just what he had to do to maintain order—even if he had to wrangle the files away from the investigation unit (after a poorly disguised threat) to begin surveilling you. he had been watching you, and for longer than anyone else, from the start of your criminal history.

with the newly spreading news about your apparent retirement, jouno was simultaneously proud and frustrated. he had always been sure that you were able to throw aside the meaningless life you had lived thus far and work to become a better person, and had been advocating for you from the very beginning. he was the reason, in fact, that you hadn't been thrown into a high security prison after your dangerous stunt involving some of the country's wealthiest and most powerful people. but now that you had changed, as he wished, he wasn't sure he was happy with all the extra attention you were getting. he knew you were about to get proposition by a variety of individuals and organizations, knew you were likely about to be investigated and prodded at by those who refused to believe in you and those who thought you could be won over easily enough, and he didn't quite like that consequence.

he wasn't particularly worried that you'd change your mind and go back to your previous line of work; jouno was confident in your resolve and your decisions, and he wasn't worried for your safety, since you had always done a good job at separating your private and personal life. however, all the new people who were interested in you now, the new eyes scrutinizing your sudden decision and the new faces you had to greet at work, didn't quite sit right with him. it wasn't fair, he thinks, that you had no clue about how much he believed in you, how much he was prepared to defend you.

and a small, dark part of him was a little upset that he didn't need to get involved in order to convince you—it was hoping that if he got to meet you, he could judge that you hadn't completely changed and that you needed him, and his guidance, to help. he was hoping he could have an opportunity to talk to you up close, to memorize the sound of your voice saying his name.

jouno thought he could change you—the fact that you didn't need him to bothered him more than he'd like to admit.

he had it all planned out; you'd have been his first successful recruit. all the other criminals he as tasked with rarely left his interrogations unharmed, let alone with their sanity intact. and you'd have been his subordinate, looking up at him as your supervisor and adviser, tasked to work with him on his missions, though you'd never be a hunting dog. he wouldn't show you his interrogations, not at first, but he'd take you with him when he was hunting down a villain as a reminder of your fate if you ever turned your back on him. and he would teach you, slowly, about military law and code, about the skills you needed to survive. he'd convince you, and the government, that you needed something to tie you down to them—after all, you couldn't exactly be trusted, yet, and if it had to be a procedure similar to his, he could hold your hand and help you through your recovery, pretending to be on your side, and earning more of your trust. and eventually...eventually, the two of you would grow closer, and you would be ecstatic to be with him.

but clearly, you didn't require his involvement.

perhaps jouno should be more concerned about what convinced you to give up the life you had worked so hard to stay on top of, but at the moment it wasn't of much concern to him. there was no secret threats, no sudden deaths of anyone close to you, just you and your newfound fear. not exactly typical, but far from suspicious. many criminals, especially petty ones with no real motive or goal, decided to start anew for seemingly no reason. it could very well be a hyper realistic nightmare, or a close brush with death—or even just a sentimental conversation with a loved one. it as obvious to him, however, that he wasn't the reason.

still, he didn't let that deter him.

because there was still plenty of opportunities for him to involve himself into your life. he could always admit that the government had been surveilling you, and lie that he was sent to make sure you stayed out of trouble, or he could make up a story about how you were being targeted by a notorious organisation, and he was tasked with protecting you instead. he could introduce himself as his hidden past, admit that he too was just like you, that he could help you bury the past, and work out a friendship of sorts.

it was only a matter of which method would be most effective. after he dealt with all the other pests hovering over you, he'd set his plans in motion.

my hope in hell (dazai x you)

warnings; drug usage

tags; fluff, crush, reader has an ability

Dazai had it all planned out-- the only issue was a certain bird with wings that spanned far and wide, i.e., your teleportation ability. He knew you'd try to use it when the bombing would take place, to save your client, but he couldn't have you doing that. It was just a tiny notch in the belt he brushed aside, underestimating the reason he was going through the trouble to keep you out, even though your presence wouldn't exactly prevent it.

It was to keep you safe.

But he wouldn't admit it to himself. You weren't a part of the Agency, you weren't a civilian in need of protection, you weren't a close friend, you were just someone he'd come to know. The plan was, Atsushi would use the stealth of his ability to chloroform you and deliver you to where Dazai was, overlooking the plan and controlling the strings, post which he'd keep an eye- and a touch- on you to prevent you from interfering. He'd have preferred to do it himself, but he knew you'd just teleport away if you saw him approach. 

"Teleportation... what a bothersome ability." He murmured, as he almost snatched your unconscious form from his coworker's shoulder, slightly irritated by the way you were being carried around like a sack of potatoes*, holding you in his arms instead. He closed the door with his foot as he sat down on the sofa, leaning against the arm to keep you on his lap. It's because I need to be touching them to use my ability. Yes, that's it.

But he found himself being severely distracted by that peaceful face, not being able to tear his eyes away. You were still in his arms, your shoulders being held up by his left and your knees by his right, which he removed to brush the hair off your face. You were so mesmerizing to him, the person who had resisted his plan, fought with him at every step, his anti-thesis, looking so delicate under him. He could feel his heart beat faster, but frowned as he realised he was not controlling it. A strange feeling crossed his stomach as his fingers ran slowly across your forehead. Time seemed to stop, and so did his racing thoughts. He didn't even deduce that the tickling sensation might wake you up as your eyes fluttered open.

"Osamu?" You spoke weakly without thinking.

My name. You said my first name.

The pacing of his heart seemed to get faster making him wonder what you did to him, as he gathered his thoughts again to respond. "You're awake." It wasn't like him to respond so stupidly. Of course you were awake. Was this love? He thought about the moments between you two, and in retrospect, the feeling they left him with. It wasn't the thrill of meeting an enemy, it was the giddyness of a crush. You were a mystery to him, the way you gave him a warm kindness despite him meaning nothing to you, politely rejecting his attempts of flirting, and most of all-- being genuinely concerned about him. What drove him to develop that affection for you, he realised, was your unconditional kindness to him hidden with a snarky attitude. It was at that moment, he realised he wanted you, and it was a little different from the way he 'wanted' anyone else he flirted with, he just... wanted your affections to save him, to pull him out of the wish to die, he wanted to feel whatever he felt when he was with you for longer. Your eyes were still droopy from the effects of the chloroform and you found it a little hard to move, finding the look on Dazai's face a little more confusing.

"Don't worry, you'll feel a bit out of it for a while till the drugs wear off."

That seemed to concern you. "You drugged me?" You spoke through struggled breaths. Not once did his eyes leave yours, making you even more uneasy.

"We can't have you teleporting to your client."

You sighed in relief. "Oh, so that's what this is about." You attempted to get up, being assisted by Dazai, who still kept you close, feeling a little disappointed as you shifted your legs off his.

He frowned, more disheartened you'd think that of him. He'd been an arguably respectful guy to most since his mafia days, ignoring all the official complaints against his flirting. "What kind of person do you take me for?"

"The worst kind." You shot him a look, feeling more and more awake by the second. "And you could keep me at physical contact at an arms length too."

"Oh, right. Sorry." He realised, allowing to you keep a little more distance, holding only your hand tightly, feeling himself lose his breath slightly like some sort of a schoolgirl when you lightly held it back.

"So, my client is in danger, huh?"

"Perhaps." He replied, keeping his usual cool smirk on his face, slightly faltering when you smiled back at him.

"Here I was thinking the Agency wouldn't just let people die."

"He's not going to die." He assured you, "but we need him slightly injured to set some things in motion."

"Slightly?" You caught on to his little white lie. Dazai seemed slightly impressed by you, his smirk turning into a genuine laugh.

"Well, I can't really tell my enemy all my secrets."

You didn't respond to that, simply looking away with a sigh. "I guess this time, I failed."

Part of him wanted to comfort you-- scratch that, an overwhelming majority of him felt compelled to comfort you, and so he did, scooting a little closer to you and still maintaining a respectful distance, just to put a hand on your shoulder. To his surprise, you returned the gesture by hugging him, shoving your face in his chest and holding his shoulders. He moved to wrap his arms around your waist, slightly embarrassed you could definitely hear his heart thumping. "I'm... sorry." He patted your head, wanting to kiss it as well, but he knew it would make the moment awkward if you didn't feel the same way. He was satisfied just comforting you, suppressing his feelings if he had to, for being around you took away his ability to strategize. He'd make plans to get you later, he just wanted to enjoy that moment.

"Can you get me a glass of water, please?" You asked softly, letting go of his shoulders, and looking up at him with tired eyes. Eyes just like his. 

"Of course." He said instinctively, getting up from the couch, suddenly realising what the hell he just did. You let out an incredulous laugh seeing his panicked face turn right back around, trying to grab a hold before you could get away. But you were much faster, teleporting to where your client would be before his touch could get you.

Dazai, for the first time in years, felt utterly and entirely thrilled, chuckling to himself as he realised the plan was ruined. He'd have to find another way to carry out the operation. He sat down on the couch, holding his head in his hands, not entirely out of frustration of being fooled by a beautiful tempter, but from how easily he let himself be tricked by you. 

"Atsushi." He spoke into his pager. "Call off the bomb."

"What?! What happened?"

"Change of plans."

*- sorry i laughed so hard

A soft smile pulls at Dazai's lips as he watches you grab your phone. The bright light illuminating your face in the dark kitchen makes you look ethereal, yet he can't stop himself from making a joke. "You know I don't know how to do this."

"You know better than I," you say softly, an amused smirk pulling at your lips as you press play. Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 begins to softly play from your shitty phone speakers as you place it on a counter, walking towards Dazai.

"I'd probably be better with the lights on," he tries joking again. You don't reply as you place your hands softly on the back of his neck, pulling yourself close as you begin to sway.

Back and forth, back and forth, you continue to step, and Dazai follows each move perfectly. It's no waltz by any means, but it is yours to share. A moment together, a moment of quiet vulnerability in the late hours of the night when everyone else is asleep is sometimes just what he needs - and you always know it.

The peaceful piano piece and the warmth of your body near his makes Dazai's eyes flutter closed, his head moving to rest on your shoulder as yours falls onto his. He hadn't realized just how tired he is, physically and emotionally. His throat begins to sting, and his eyes feel dryer than normal. He feels like crying. And yet, no tears slip past his eyes - they never do - as his hold on you tightens.

The music swells, hitting the part you'll always say is your favorite, and he feels you give him a gentle squeeze, a reassuring touch that causes him to loosen his hold. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are.

A small this is my favorite part is whispered into his shoulder and Dazai wants to laugh. You're so predictable, and yet that predictability brings a sense of ease and comfort to him that he hasn't felt in a long time. He keeps quiet, his head moving further into your neck as he continues swaying with you.

I've never been one for classical music, I can barely see in the dark, you know I can't waltz, all excuses to stop himself from being vulnerable with you. But the second you pull him close, holding his face to your shoulder and rocking him like a baby on the wood-paneled floor of your shared apartment, he wonders why he fought it in the first place.

As the last note fades out, Dazai's face is fully buried into the crook of your neck, grasping onto your body loosely and tiredly. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are. And the two of you continue to sway for minutes more, nothing outside of the occasional floorboard creek to interrupt as you embrace each other under the moonlight.