“I Felt Like I Wasn’t Enough For A Very Long Time, And Then Somehow I Just Decided That I Was. And

All I keep saying is that I’m tired of fighting for something we should all be innately fighting for. I am so tired. I can’t process it all right now.

don't know who they are but the art is too good not to share

🛁 Rubber Duckie, you're the one

You make bath time lots of fun 🦆

(Just doing my part to make sure they get clean after hunts, since 2018)

Let me just say this. Miedema was the best player on that field today. I don’t care if she missed a penalty, anyone giving her a hard time get‘s a punch to the face.

After a mini-hiatus (not really mini), here’s my contribution to the supercorp zine volume 4! A little domestic wholesomeness for these babies. Many thanks to the awesome mods, artists, writers, and fans. I’m so glad and so, so honored to be a part of this project!

For those who missed the orders, check out @supercorpzine to see all the amazing contributions~

We need to talk about Vlatko…

i get players taking personal responsibility for the loss and being expected to be good enough to adapt to a coach and bring their a game…but i really feel like a lot of this tournament was a huge failure on vlatko’s part to adapt to the team and bring out the best in them and what they were capable of at the time. it’s the coach’s JOB to understand their team and understand how to bring out the best in them and adapt. to understand what their weakness are and to play to their strengths instead. asking an entire team to adapt to your vision and ideas is WAY harder than choosing to step back as a coach and being willing to put your own ego and ideas aside in order to adapt to the team and how the players are actually capable of playing. and i do believe him being so data driven and not allowing players to build chemistry with more consistent line ups again was on HIM and a big reason why players didn’t feel joy.

you don’t create magic and joy out of data and ignoring your team’s capabilities and strengths, or their weaknesses.

Language matters. Try 'active genocide' and 'deliberate starvation'.

wait why am i getting emotional over the fact that this is christen’s first major tournament in the solid starting position that SHE ALWAYS DESERVED

what do you do when you're lonely?

It depends. There are different kinds of lonely, aren’t there?

There’s the quiet kind. It’s almost light. It’s the soft realisation that nobody has understood you for quite a while - in fact, you’re not really sure when you last felt understood. It settles around you like a blanket and you let it. It’s a return to familiarity.

When I feel like this, I go for a walk, or write a poem, and think a lot. Usually, I realise that it is an impossible task to expect anybody to understand me completely but I am understandable in fragments to different people at different times and that is okay. The most important thing is that I understand myself.

There is the specific kind. When you feel isolated or left out or unloved by a particular person or group of people. When you don’t understand why. When you feel that there must be something wrong with you, something different or awkward that makes you difficult to love. It’s heavy and shameful.

When I feel like this, I think about my perceived differences and realise that I have people in my life who are grateful for them. I think about whether I am truly being excluded or whether I’ve just interpreted a situation in that way because of my defense mechanisms. And I talk to my loved ones because everybody needs a reminder that they’re loveable from time to time.

Finally, there is a violent kind of lonely. It is desperate. Chronic. Hopeless. For me, it accompanies a period of being continuously misunderstood. Being called selfish when you were trying to be selfless. Being called cruel when you thought you were acting out of kindness. Being called defensive when you were trying to communicate. Being told you didn’t care when you know you did. It isolates you from everyone, even you from yourself. This is when you begin to wonder whether people really mean it when they say they love you.

I think this kind of loneliness can only be solved by looking deep inside and trusting yourself to be who you think you are. To have conviction that you are kind, and compassionate, and imperfect, but good. And to know that you are loveable because of these things.