Ix. Super.

ix. super.

“What was that about?” her fiancée asks, coming in, and leaning down to press a kiss against her temple. Kara had just shown Clark and Lois out. Tonight had been their first dinner together after Kara’s proposal. The couple flew in for a rare visit to National City for a journalism conference.

Lena didn’t burn the lasagna, Kara hadn’t spilled the wine, and Lois made a total of just three jokes about them knocking up and getting hitched together. All in all Lena would call it a marvelous success.

“What was what about?” Lena turns face to Kara, catches her wrist and tugs. Kara lets herself get pulled, and crawls onto the couch. Fitting herself into the space between the arms Lena has up, holding her book. Lena’s changed into a soft sweater and leggings, Kara eagerly buries her nose into the fabric over her belly as she drapes herself over Lena.

“Oh, you know,” Kara murmurs, “that look Kal did. The look he gave you. As if he knew you or something.”

Before saying goodbye, Kal had given Lena this look. It was only brief, just after Lois had hugged Lena. But Kara had noticed it, had heard him whisper, “I’m happy for you, Lena. We’ve come a long way.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah?”

“Well…” Lena says, closing the book she’s started reading, in favor of cupping Kara’s face with both hands. “That’s because he did know me, Kara. He knew me.”

“What?”

“He was Lex’s best friend,” Lena explains, and she runs a hand up her hair. Her little habit that makes Kara tend to zone out completely to track the movement of pale fingers against dark hair.

“He was...my brother’s best friend,” Lena tells her again. Softer this time, her index finger tracing the slope of Kara’s nose, bringing her attention back into Lena’s story.

“Lex met him when they were in college. I was— I think? 6th grade? Or something like that.”

In her mind, Kara can see it; Kal from nowhere Kansas bumping into Lex Luthor, rich kid prodigy. She wonders how Lena met him. Was it over Thanksgiving dinner in the Luthor Manor? Was it during one of Lex’s rare visits to Lena in boarding school? Her brother arriving with his Maserati and a stranger in tow? What did Lena think when she first laid eyes on the man that would play the major part in his brother’s demise?

Kara wonders if the three of them ever knew what the future held in store.

“And then you know,” Lena breathes out. “He was just always around. Just always there. Driving around with Lex, eating in the living room. It’s disturbing how domestic all of that was, now that I think about it.”

Kara can’t help but agree. It was easy to imagine, sure, but kind of hard to believe. There would always be a loud dissonance between the boy Clark drove around in his truck to the man who would make all sorts of killing machines just to rid the planet of Kryptonians.

“I never knew you know? Everything was normal. I’d come home, and I’d get a call from my brother and his best friend. And sometimes they’d take me out bowling. Normal stuff you know?”

And yes, Kara does know. Because that was how everything tragedy begins wasn’t it? With everything going normal, until it doesn’t. Until she’s sealed in a pod with no home to go back to, until a brother goes insane, turns the sun red, and suddenly you’re all alone.

“Clark Kent is the person who stayed in his seat when my brother got a call in the middle of one of my chess tournaments,” Lena tells her. “Clark Kent ate ice cream with me after I had my first fight with Andrea. Clark was there the day before I left for college. He was one of the people who called to congratulate me on my graduation day, years later.”

“He was my brother’s best friend, you know?” Lena sighs out. “And for a moment, he was a brother to me, too.”

She tries to picture it all. She tries to imagine Kal and a young Lena Luthor sitting in an ice cream parlor somewhere in Metropolis. Kal, giving Lena a thumbs-up, and mouthin g ‘You’re doing great.’ whilst watching Lena exchange moves on the chessboard. Kal, letting a young Lena sleep on his shoulder after Lex had picked her up for spring break; Luthor Manor looming over them.

It wasn’t hard to picture. After all she’s seen every version of Lena Luthor there is; seen every stiff childhood family photo, every pretentious solo portrait Lillian insisted on, seen every shot James had taken, every magazine cover and of course, there were the selfies that only Kara would only be allowed to see ever.

Although, maybe, it wasn’t really about that.

Maybe it’s easy to imagine because Kara has spent a long time picturing Kal as the doting brother he never got to be with her. Because whilst Kal was out there living his life with the Luthors, Kara was on the other side of the world, trying hard to survive, to fit into this strange new world without anybody helping her.

Don’t get her wrong, she was happy that the important people in her life had each other somewhere along the timeline, once upon a time. During a period in their lives where they still haven’t known Kara, yet. She was glad they had each other then.

Still, Kara can’t help but feel a slight twinge of envy.

Because if Kal could play the role of the dorky, loving big brother to Lena, why couldn’t he have done it for Kara? Why was she the one left in the dust? But today wasn’t about Kara. They can talk about it some other time. She tunes in again just in time for Lena to say, “And then, a super came around. Superman happened. And Lex—”

She doesn’t need Lena to finish that.

“And then everything went to hell?”

“Yeah,” Lena whispers, “and then everything went to hell. I grew up. Clark stayed away. Superman won. Lex lost.”

“And then you met me?”

“And then I met you, yeah.” This time she can hear the smile in Lena’s voice, it makes Kara’s lips turn up a little too.

“I’m sorry he hurt you. That day, when we came to interview you.” Kara can still remember the none too subtle jabs Clark had said; can still remember that even then she already felt the inexplicable urge to protect this woman. Kara just knew, right away. Lena’s just as full of good as any Super out there, deserved just as good a chance the world had given to the two of them.

“I’ve forgiven him a long time ago, Kara. Lex damaged us both. And Clark was just trying to protect himself.”

“Still,” Kara says, “you deserved better than that. If he really cared for you at all, he would’ve checked on you, after what Lex had done. Instead, he assumed the worst.”

“Yeah, he shouldn’t have done that, I know. But that was a long time ago, darling. And we’ve both made amends.” Her finger traces the slope of Kara’s nose again, smooths out the crinkle that had formed.

“He’s family now,” Lena says slowly. “And families tend to be just a bit complicated, I’ve learned.”

Kara fully grins up at that, hearing Lena talk about her family— their family like that.

“Mm. You’re right. They are.”

Lena smiles at her, “I’m always right.”

Kara laughs, “Yeah, yeah you are. Can’t argue with that.”

She surges forward a bit to catch Lena’s lips in a soft kiss.

When they pull away, Kara’s eyes are sparkling.

“So…” she says, “wanna hear about how I used to change Superman’s diapers?”

40 Sapphic TV Shows You Have to Watch or You're NOT Gay*

We've already established I make the rules 😌

1. First Kill

2. The Haunting of Bly Manor

3. Harley Quinn animated series

4. Derry Girls

5. Yellowjackets

6. Skam Espana

7. Dickinson

8. Atypical

9. Killing Eve

10. Wheel of Time

11. The 100

12. Vigil, BBC

13. The Wilds

14. Orphan Black

15. Invasion

16. The Owl House

17. NCIS: Hawaii

18. Motherland fort Salem

19. The Outlaws

20. Everything sucks

21. Shera and the princesses of power

22. Legends of Tomorrow

23. Adventure Time Obsidian

24. True love or true lies season 2

25. Welcome to Eden

26. Fantasy Island

27. Orange is the new black

28. Skins

29. Runaways

30. Feria The Darkest Light

31. In my Skin

32. Station 19

33. Hightown

34. Run the Burbs

35. Kevin Can Fuck Himself

36. The Haunting of Hill House

37. Home Economics

38. Eldorado KaDeWe

39. The Sex Lives of College Girls

40. Astrid & Lilly Save the World

*This is a joke, you're the gayest person ever, I said so and I'm the ultimate authority on this matter. Case closed.

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stresseddepressedlemonzestsblog

3 years ago

and Kara's gay awakening will be when they end up undercover at gala and Lena shows up in her suit.

What If We Start This All Over But This Time Katie Plays The Nerdy Friend Who Helps Kara From The Beginning?

What if we start this all over but this time Katie plays the nerdy friend who helps Kara from the beginning?

Bonus: and she usually looks like this.

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stresseddepressedlemonzestsblog

3 years ago

as much as we all loved to bash the Supergirl writing team I really do have to admit “I want you to know with certainty that while I came from poison, you came from love. And if the rest of this family stands steadily in darkness, you will always fall into the light.” was a really good fucking line.

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stresseddepressedlemonzestsblog

3 years ago

i. happy.

"Are you happy?"

It's the first time somebody has asked her that ever since that day in the lake, before Lena's life was turned upside down.

Lex fixes the straps of her helmet, a finger booping her on the nose, her teeth chattering a bit in the cold morning air but she's grinning so wide at her brother and that's all the answer he needs.

"Hell yeah!" She yells with all her six-year old might, throwing herself into her brother's arms. Chuckling as he gathers her in his arms.

She hears the sound of horses blustering and trotting about, getting closer and closer. Excitement courses through her veins. The first time she arrived in the Luthor estate, Lex took her on a tour and all she ever wanted to do after that was wander the stables and talk to the horses. He promised her he'd take her riding once she was big enough to reach his waist.

That day has finally, blessedly come.

She woke up with Lex at the edge of her bed, holding a purple helmet, a glittering bow on top of it. His quiet 'Happy Birthday, Lena' getting drowned by high-pitched excited squeals.

Lex carries her across the field, his footsteps sloshing on the muddy ground. He settles her on the saddle gently, before hoisting himself up as well.

Happy, Lena thinks, is what it's like riding across the estate for the first time; Lex pressed behind her, his hands guiding Lena on the reins.

With him, Lena always knows just where to go.

******

“Are you happy?” Andrea breathes, her words almost getting lost in the strong Atlantic winds. Her arms wrapped around Lena’s waist, the glittering water below them threatening to overwhelm her with its vastness.

They were standing on the edge atop the deck of the ship. What better way to celebrate graduating senior high than jumping into your family’s ship and tracing the Titanic’s route?

“Yeah,” Lena murmurs, head tilting to the side, pressing her temple to Andrea’s jaw. “So very happy.”

Happy, she thinks, is the warmth pressing across her back, anchoring her amidst the overwhelming vastness of the unknown.

With her, Lena knows exactly just where she’s headed.

******

“Are you happy?”

This time, the words are staticky and far-away. Jack is in a different city, sleeping on a different bed.

And Lena is here, in this empty National City apartment, isolated and so far above the bustling neon life.

Is she happy?

What is happiness anyway?

She thought she knew.

“No,” Lena whispers into the dark, “I’m not.”

Jack sighs on the other end of the line. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, but…” he trails off, sighs deeply again, “you know you can always come back to me.”

“Jack-”

“Or, I can come to you.”

For the first time in her life, Lena doesn’t know where she’s going, where she’s going to end up. She can drop dead tomorrow on her way to L-Corp for all she knows, murdered in a parking lot, courtesy of Lex.

One thing she’s certain of though is that she will never go back—she cannot go back.

“I’ll be fine,” she says, “I’ll be fine, Jack. I promise.”

She’ll be fine, she just doesn’t know about happy though.

******

"Are you happy?"

She never knew those words can be spat out in such a vile manner. But well, she should've known better than visiting Lillian Luthor.

It was rhetorical, she knows.

She wanted to say, yes.

Yes, I'm very happy that you landed in this shithole never to come out. I'm very happy because the world is a better place for it.

But the tears streaming down her face as she gets into her car says otherwise.

******

"Are you happy?"

The question was one she expected. It was her 6th month into therapy, and well, she already knew this was coming. She always asks her this 17 minutes before the session ends.

"Very much so," Lena answers; brief and truthful.

"That's good," her therapist says, she looks up from her clipboard, eyes softening at Lena.

Maybe, it's because she's been slowly but surely pouring out her soul in the span of 26 consecutive Thursdays, that she finds herself speaking, "I'm happy. I- I never thought happiness could be like this."

Lena breathes in deep, swallows, wrings her hands together.

"B-but I'm learning. I- I deserve this. I deserve to be happy. My happiness is mine, and mine alone. I worked on it. Hard. And I- it-" she stutters, breathes again.

"It still isn't perfect you know? Some days it hurts," she says, her therapist nods at her solemnly, "a lot. It hurts a lot. I hurt a lot. But it doesn't mean I deserve to hurt."

Her voice comes out stronger this time, "I choose to be happy, because I deserve to be happy. It took me a long time to see that."

"But now?"

"But now, I know better."

******

"I'm happy."

"Oh yeah?" Kara says, smug. She's propped up on one elbow facing Lena. Her fingers running up and down pale skin. "Mm, you know, I guess I'd be happy too, after those three orgasms."

Lena gasps, smacks her on the arm. "That wasn't what I meant, and you know it. You're insufferable."

Kara just laughs, grabs her hand from swatting her again, and brings it to her lips—kisses the inside of her wrist softly.

"M'sorry. Sorry. What did you mean?"

Lena's heart calms, and warmth blooms from that one point of contact.

"I'm happy," Lena repeats, and for some reason there are tears in the corner of her eyes.

"So happy with you. We've come so far," Lena whispers, shuffling closer to Kara. The sheets rustling, till her skin touches skin, their faces a breadth apart.

"We did," Kara murmurs back, words tracing her lips, "I'm so proud of us."

"Me, too."

And this, Lena thinks, is what happy is supposed to feel like—home.

And this, Lena thinks, is where she was meant to end up in all along.

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stresseddepressedlemonzestsblog

3 years ago

I feel like I have to do a recap but I’m so emotional I literally do not have a coherent thought.

But.

US v. Netherlands

ALYSSA FUCKING NAEHER. #1 on the field, #1 in my GOD DAMN HEART. She showed up for us and she played like the best goalkeeper in the world. The control and calm and confidence. She is a treasure.

Rebecca Sauerbrunn and her TACKLES and her HEADERS and her CLASS ACT DEFENDING.

Abigail Bell pepper, I’m not in a negative mood so I will not harp on mistakes. She has been progressively better and I hope she’s kind to herself going into the semi’s.

Crystal Dunn. Out here with the SMOOTHEST tackles I’ve ever seen in my life. Worked her ass off. Saved us defensively and got things going. BIG LOVE TO HER.

Miss Kelley. I knew as soon as she missed the Miedema tackle that the fangs were coming out. She was ruthless, aggressive, and love her or hate her, held her own. (PK aside). And no concussion this time, g’bless.

SAMANTHA MEWIS. I’m sure her subbing was planned. She wasn’t totally out of her funk early on but god dammit, she found her stride. What a MOMENT for her to equalize. I could have cried. She basically KNEELED for a header. Love that Snacks combo. Love that for Sammy Bananas.

JULIE ERTZ. Another savior on a few plays. Idk how she is still going. 120 minutes after 2 full nineties and a 45, fresh off injury. MAAM. Take care of yourself. Keep being a T. rex bulldozer.

LINDSEY HORAN. Her fitness level is there. Whatever she is doing with that gym she always posts about, MORE OF THAT. Even in extra time, Lindsey was the first to track back, there was no let up. She connected with Tobin well and with Pinoe. Her finishing will come. She’s getting herself in the right places. I am staying POSITIVE.

ROSEMARY LAVELLE. Continues with the maximum effort. She is someone that will never give up, she’s going out swinging. No one can question her grit and her tenacity. Her reign of left footed bangers against the Dutch has been put on hold, (in regulation time at least. Her PK was chefs kiss perfect.) Rosie is having herself a tournament(!) and I am so here for all she has to give.

TOBIN. She’s building every game. She tracked back and she was making smarter passes. Tobin magic is still to come, I can feel it.

Carli drew lots of fouls for us and I can take it. She feels someone on her back and takes it PERSONALLY. Put in a good shift for us and allowed us to have a fresher Alex Morgan for the second half and extra time.

LYNN. LYNNIE. What a moment for her. What a STORY. She played with freedom, without pressure, AND SHE DID WHAT WE ALL KNOW SHE CAN DO IF SHE FOCUSES. Her and Sammy have a special connection and what a GAME for them to capitalize on it. Gorgeous assist. GORGEOUS goal.

Alex. My goodness is she so close to the lethal form the world fucking fears. She was making the runs, she had her chances. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? SHE MADE HER DAMN PK. Rio redemption number one.

Pinoe. Sweet P. She doesn’t have the legs for 120 games. We know this. She knows this. So yeah. Mid-hit things we’re used to her nailing. Set pieces left something to be desired. But she put it all out there. She DID track back. And she did what she does best and she BURIED her PK. She’s a magical human.

AND THEN CHRISTEN. Thank god for meditation. I would have stolen that offsides flag and launched it to the moon. She’s itching for goals. And it’s always just INCHES. She’s a step back, and shit, watch the fuck out. And I know I’m probably not as proud as Tobin or as relieved as she was for herself. BUT THAT PK. That PK. CHRISTEN PRESS STAYED CALM AND PUT THAT BITch away.

Sorry to the Netherlands, you hate to see them cry. (I mean, I wanted them to lose but I’m not a monster.) Viv had a crazy tournament, but BYE. See y’all next time!

ON TO CANADA. NO ONE SPEAK ILL OF THE GALS (looking at you DvD.) DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THEM. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

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