Latest Posts by soulsoyce - Page 8

So many good concerts but no friends or money...

Every single day...

Brain: Don't you have to leave for work in 30 min?

Me: Yes.

Brain: Have you showered??

Me: No.

Brain: Have you eaten???

Me: No.

Brain: WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Me: Scrolling through my OTP's tag.

x

Anxiety is living under a flinch, mouth full of holes, a tremble point   it is what if it all goes wrong and it is yes but it didn’t and it is no it did and here are the ways that you failed and didn’t even notice. it’s “you got an A” and feeling nothing, it is “you got a B+” and feeling your insides try and rip themselves out of your body. it is breath in short pants, human turned wild animal, get me out of here. it is brain a blank buzzing, it is sobbing on the train station, it is can you order for me. it is you need sleep because tomorrow’s a big day, it is you can’t sleep because tomorrow is a big day. it is don’t open your mouth. it is you’re an absolute waste of space why don’t you just try and make friends for once. it is you don’t deserve her. it is he’s right, you know. it is having three hours to do something important and instead staring blankly at a wall for two hours and fifty minutes. it is don’t go to the party, it is why didn’t you just go to the party. it is walk faster, it is sweaty palms and checking under the bed and keeping the lights on. it is you deserve this. it is a held breath, a morning hangover, it is go do this and it is too scared of failure to start anything. it is turn the page, it is don’t look, it is you’ll have nightmares about this later. it is answer the question, it is don’t raise your hand, it is teacher’s pet, it is breakdown lane in the middle of any building. it is here’s how to make it look like you haven’t just been hit by a truck. it is just drink, just curl your hands into fists until the fingernails bite in, it is forgetting the art of having lungs. it is can you not do that here. it is forgetting to walk back into your own body. it is removing yourself from anything, everything, it is watching other people who involve themselves and feeling lonely. it is you’re not hungry, it is smile prettier, it is that joke fell flat, it is everyone experiences this stop being a drama queen, it is suck in your stomach, it is control, it is hold on, it is so tight it will strangle the life out of you slowly so you can have the time to worry about all the things you should have done. it is should have. it is could have. it is why didn’t i why didn’t i, it is why did i do that, it is i am excited about this i think but i feel like vomiting, it is future too heavy, it’s what if, what if you don’t care, what if i’m not good enough, what if the building burns down, what if i lose her tomorrow, what if he doesn’t make it back safe, what if i’m the reason nobody loves me, what if i’m going to die alone one day, what if i’m useless, what if nobody cares, what if nobody reads this   it is that all went wrong, didn’t it?

IS // Part 1 of ? in a series about my experiences with mental illness // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

This Hit me hard

Whenever I tell people I write poetry the first thing they always ask is: “You don’t write that depressing shit do you?” And I always kind of pause and Laugh nervously with a quiet answer of. “Yeah. Sometimes.” And it’s true I do write “That Depressing Shit”. Because I am depressed. And I’m not saying that to be romantic or quirky, ‘Cause I know that’s what some people think. I’m saying that because I am. I’m saying that because the serotonin in my head doesn’t work properly And that causes what the psychologists call Maladaptive thoughts. It causes what I call A normal day. So yeah. I write “That Depressing Shit”. Because poetry for me is a Coping mechanism. And more than once it’s stopped me From being very very self-destructive. And. I get that There’s this stereotype about poets. That we’re all Melancholy Misanthropic Emo kids. And I get that in some ways I fit the stereotype because, I’m sad a lot, And I do like to be alone And I kind of only left my crappy emo phase sometime last year but That shouldn’t invalidate the way I feel. And I get it. If you roll your eyes at “This Depressing Shit” Because you’re healthy enough to not need it. And when I say I get it I mean I don’t because. I literally don’t understand ‘Healthiness’. Yes. I write about “That Depressing Shit”. I write about self harm and I write about panic attacks and I write about how sometimes I want to die. I also write about love. And I also write about happiness. And sometimes I write about how beautiful the world is when I actually want to be in it.

That Depressing Shit (via maenadish)

“Have you seen my son?!”

Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you

Elvis Presley

When someone finds out I’m a martial artist and says “oh, I’d better not mess with you”

I’m like

“I’m, like, the most terrible person to go to a party with in the world, because I just can’t enjoy it. I’m just thinking all the time about what it means and what the implications are.”

“A lot of people are under the impression you should just wait for something creative to hit you, which kind isn’t right; I think you have to put the work in sometimes. You have to get yourself in chair and write crap for a while until you start writing something good.”

Fanfic : Lucy Heartfilia gets -

Me : hoe don't do it

Fanfic : -kicKED OUT OF THE GUILD AND REPLACED WITH LISANNA AND GOES ON A JOURNEY AND A YEAR LA-

Me : oH MY GOD

Mark: [holding Kieran's face in between two slices of bread] WHAT ARE YOU?

Kieran: An idiot sandwich.

Things I Want to Read More About:

✔️  Will Herondale + Ducks

✔️  Emma Carstairs + Llamas

Every time TID is brought up in a different book

Jem: a dear friend of mine-

Me: hoe don't do it

Jem: my parabatai-

Me: STOP

Jem: William

Me: *in tears*

Emo may never die

My Chemical Romance

me: okay, I’m so out of my emo phase I mean I listen to some bands and all but I’m not a hard core fan anym-

mcr: *changes website layout and profile picture*

me: hoe don’t do it

mcr: *post video with black parade in background and a date*

me: oh my gOD

again

Amber Riley speaking the TRUTH.

Cory Monteith

May 11, 1982 - July 13, 2013

3 years and you’re still missing.

#fanficproblems

Nuestro futuro chicos~

Respect everyone. I think it’s not too much to ask.

To all those shippers who’s OTP is in a Shonen. I KNOW YOUR FEEL.

Watching this and tearing up. RIP Christina Grimmie.

Mi cover preferido, y donde fuera que escuchara esta canción siempre me hacía acordar a ella... </3

My favorite fandom is the Jacksfilms Fandom

It’s the only fandom that I can think of where the audience insults the Youtuber and the Youtuber insults the audience and both parties insult everyone else and the best part is that NO ONE gets hurt.

…except maybe Jinx but we don’t really talk about that.