Autistic/ADHD adult | The biggest fan of Sol in the 21th Century
83 posts
Latest Posts by solfan20xx - Page 3
Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
it’s sometimes frustrating when people respond to posts lamenting like, the fact that every news article is paywalled or every social media site is overrun by reactionaries or that all recipe websites are impossible to use because they’re covered in malicious ads or etc with “here’s a site that gets rid of those paywalls!” “install this recipe-unfucker browser extension on your computer!” “just join [obscure social media site that no one uses] or [dead forum]!” like I get the intent, I don’t take it as like malicious derailing or anything, and I even understanding wanting to spread resources to people esp adblocker resources. but this pattern of response in the aggregate feels like it’s fundamentally missing the point on some level - it is infuriating that you can’t spend an hour on social media without being reminded that the world viscerally hates you and wants you dead for the crime of being a minority, it is infuriating that you’re constantly condescended to about the “dangers of disinformation” by the same professional class that paywalls every single piece of data from the public, it is infuriating that the internet is rapidly approaching a point of total unusability for the express purpose of further lining a billionaire’s pockets, and no browser extension or obscure discord clone is going to fix that. These are structural problems and I think people are using these things as examples to complain about these structures, and it sometimes feels like people are missing that point when they post a link to a mozilla-only browser extension. it feels like unwanted advice to a problem that is already unsolveable via individual solutions. often it borders on patronising, as if people aren’t aware they can log off tumblr and post on a Web 2.0 forum that 1000 people collectively use or haven’t heard of the concept of an adblocker. but again like what else are you supposed to do the next time you want to look up a chili recipe or watch cat videos online or read the news. sucks ass
Playing The Alternative Age as Reimu taking Concealed the Conclusion in mind it's so funny. Because, like, Keine was so worried that the armament of the Outside World could destroy Gensokyo to the point where she decided to revert time just before its separation from Japan, when the person who actually had the power to erase Gensokyo was right in front of her.
"Fantastic Boyfriends" is insane because it appears to be one of the most dangerous visual novels w/ the potencial to gigafry your brain but is exclusively read by gay men & transgenders who unironically want to "know how the first game made by Lifewonders is" or "read their first gay visual novel" and basically get oneshotted by it
I made this poorly made collage as a example of what I'm saying. He is too polite and embarressed, how could people not think he's really cute despite working for Claw for 3 years?
I understand when people say to the ones who coddle adult male characters that they're "a grown ass man with dick and balls", but I don't think this applies that well to Serizawa Katsuya because ONE made this ex-terrorist a little too cute in my opinion.
I understand when people say to the ones who coddle adult male characters that they're "a grown ass man with dick and balls", but I don't think this applies that well to Serizawa Katsuya because ONE made this ex-terrorist a little too cute in my opinion.
"In recent years, there has been a rush on the internet to supply image descriptions and to call out those who don’t. This may be an example of community accountability at work, but it’s striking to observe that those doing the most fierce calling out or correcting are sighted people. Such efforts are largely self-defeating. I cannot count the times I’ve stopped reading a video transcript because it started with a dense word picture. Even if a description is short and well done, I often wish there were no description at all. Get to the point, already! How ironic that striving after access can actually create a barrier. When I pointed this out during one of my seminars, a participant made us all laugh by doing a parody: “Mary is wearing a green, blue, and red striped shirt; every fourth stripe also has a purple dot the size of a pea in it, and there are forty-seven stripes—”
“You’re killing me,” I said. “I can’t take any more of that!”
Now serious, she said it was clear to her that none of that stuff about Mary’s clothes mattered, at least if her clothes weren’t the point. What mattered most about the image was that Mary was holding her diploma and smiling. “But,” she wondered, “do I say, Mary has a huge smile on her face as she shows her diploma or Mary has an exuberant smile or showing her teeth in a smile and her eyes are crinkled at the edges?”
It’s simple. Mary has a huge smile on her face is the best one. It’s the don’t-second-guess-yourself option."
--Against Access, by John Lee Clark, a DeafBlind educator
Mob Psycho 100?? More like Mob 'why are all these characters just different flavors of autistic holy shit'..... 100!!!!!
Click on image for better resolution. Also an ID below, in case the text is too small to read:
[ID: art of Mob, Tsubomi, Tome, Ritsu and Serizawa from Mob Psycho 100, with a list of autistic symptoms below them. The background is beige and behind each character is a square mismatch of colors unique to them as a background.
Mob:
He is wearing his school uniform and smiling lightly. The background colors are saturated blues, cyans, pinks and reds, which are swirling in a liquid like fashion. Below, text reads:
Polite little autistic boy
flat affect
alexithymia
perpetually confused
attempts to mask, just ends up appearing a different type of ‘weird’ as a result
low empathy, high compassion
really strict moral integrity
didn’t have a special interest for the longest time due to repressing himself
disassociating king :(
comorbid inattentive type ADHD
Tsubomi:
She is wearing her school uniform, staring ahead with a bored, uninterested expression. The colors behind her are dark and sharp browns, violets and reds. Below, text reads:
Girlboss
masking queen
low empathy
can’t read social cues but has mastered the art of scripting and being polite and pretty to escape ostracization
hard time connecting to people
often acts unintentionally rude/blunt
stubborn
actually cares a whole lot about people she really considers friends
Tome:
She is also wearing the uniform, leaning her chin on her hand and flapping the other hand excitedly as she rambles about something. The colors behind her are a bright yellow, green and orange, formed as circles and some sharp edges. Below, text reads:
Weird Girl
stimming galore
loud™
special interest in the occult/aliens
finds herself only connecting to people through that interest
emotional dysregulation
comorbid hyperactive ADHD
barely passing grades
probably spends hours on random wikipedia articles
Ritsu:
He is wearing a yellow hoodie, looking to the side and finger raised in confusion. The colors behind him are green, orange and magenta, and they are swirling in a kind of square vortex around him. Below, text reads:
just a little hater
sounds /neg
has a selective wardrobe of comfy clothes cause textures,,,
has no idea what friends are
special interest in psychic powers
spoons are a comfort item
denied he was autistic for a long time because “wdym, i’m completely normal. Look how well adjusted I am.”
comorbid OCD
Serizawa:
He's wearing his usual suit and smiling, eyes closed with the grin, his hands clasped together at his chest. The colors behind him are cyans, blues, greens and magentas, some lines, some circles. Below, text reads:
gamer .....
self isolation as an (unhealthy) coping mechanism
uses comfort items
emotions also be dysregulating but like,, he’s learning to deal with it
high empathy
missed out on a lot of milestones, but it’s okay, he’s catching up :)
special interest in video games
finds comfort in dark, tight spaces
comorbid social anxiety
End ID.]
By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.
HEY, YOU!
DO YOU LIKE OLD COMPUTER GRAPHICS?!
did you like ANY of these photos? would you like to see HUNDREDS MORE OF THEM?! with THOUSANDS OF UNIQUE TEXTURES?! ALL FROM FUCKING DECEMBER 15TH, YEAR 2000?!
NOW YOU CAN!!!
THERE'S ALSO A BUNCH OF CLIPART FROM 1997 IN .WMF FORMAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE THAT, BUT YOU MIGHT!
STILL not convinced???? LOOK AT THE DISC THEY CAME FROM!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!??!?!?!?!?! DON'T WAIT! GO LOOK AT THOSE JPEGS... TODAY!
just like going through the members of my family and my friend groups one by one, i can't think a single damn person i know who does not have a disability. ARFID. Autism. Metal rod in the spine. Arthritis. Cancer in remission. Long-term effects of repeated concussions. Bad back. Exhaustion. Crohn's. EDS. More Autism and ADHD. Migraines. Periods that lay them out for a week. Chronic depression. Alcoholism. Bipolar. Cataracts.
I do not know a single person who is not disabled, typically in multiple ways, and we all face increased disability as a natural consequence of aging. Literally every person on the planet becomes disabled on a long enough timeline. Yet we still talk about disability and organize around it as if it isn't social, economic, and contextual. people treat disability as an innate quality that some people have and some people do not have, and as if there is some large class of intrinsically abled people who are benefiting under capitalism and are withholding the fruits of their abilities from us or something.
i saw this post on twitter months ago that was like "I need people to understand that if you are in a relationship with a disabled person you are going to have to do more than them. you're not disabled and so you're going to have to do more of the work (around the house, logisticially, etc). that is what you owe them as an abled person."
and it just baffled me. because i have only ever seen disabled people in relationships with other disabled people, caring for one another in a stitched-together, messy web of interdependence and missed deadlines and dirty dishes and acceptance and love, not because disabled people are ontologically more generous than non-disabled people but because non-disabled people don't even actually exist.
the mythological abled person who can work a full time job, keep a clean home, do all the dishes, buy all the groceries, cook all the meals, run all the errands, stay on top of all the bills, carry everything, dash up the stairs, stand on their feet for hours, and have boundless energy without any mental consequences to that does not exist. it's an ideal created to oppress us all. it is an impossible standard the reification of which disables us all.
there is no one on this planet who is not disabled under capitalism and colonialism. there are only people who lack the class consciousness to recognize that they're disabled.
it's gonna have to be us taking care of one another. it's going to be the disabled caring for the disabled. it always will be that. that is the human condition.
I know we talk a lot about keep jumping on boxes, but I'm honestly so grateful for Joe hills' knife theory; a variation on spoon theory that says once you're out of spoons, you can choose to take knives instead in the knowledge that it will hurt later. and the number of times I've told myself 'ok let's take the knives' is so high that I've found it really helps to acknowledge it. Thanks, Joe
Workbooks to improve executive functioning
Since the post I made last night about improving executive functioning was so popular, I figured I should pull these out of my comments and give them their own post, in case it's helpful for people.
I have worked with the publishers of all of the books linked below and can vouch for their psychology books. The publisher of most of them, New Harbinger, is an extremely credible evidence-based psychology publisher.
Obvious disclaimer that everyone's brain is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.
Is there evidence that executive functioning can be improved? Yes. This book appears to be a very thorough overview of the field, and contains both advocates and detractors of cognitive training, for a balanced perspective. From the table of contents, I would really recommend jumping straight to Part 3: Developmental Perspectives for executive functioning (EF) writ large.
Certain therapy modalities are specifically designed for skill-building in areas like impulsivity, decision-making, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility, all of which are EF skills or very dependent on EF skills. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is probably the best field to look at for these - skill-building in those areas is its core goal.
Some DBT workbooks:
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens
There are also a lot of workbooks for ADHD that are sometimes more broad but also can help with executive functioning:
The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life
The CBT Workbook for Adult ADHD: Evidence-Based Exercises to Improve Your Focus, Productivity, and Wellbeing
The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD
General executive functioning workbooks:
The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens
Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults: Exercises to Help You Get Organized, Stay Focused, and Achieve Your Goals
Hope these are helpful to someone!!
my most peaceful hobby is storm watching, especially at night. a few nights ago, three storms converged overhead. one to the south, one to the east, and one directly on top of me. the fog settled in over half the city below, some lights distinct and others muddled together, bright under the fog. the night and the clouds obscured the mountains to the east, but when lightning cracked through it illuminated the entire range from behind. what happened over those mountains that night? the mist never gives up her mysteries. id like to think it was storm giants
The key shortcut of "windows key" and "." held together has changed my life
like
emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖
But
Kaomoji ?
The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o
IF YOU’RE READING THIS I NEED YOU to go to neocities.org and make an account.
It’s an emergency. Look. People are really getting into it now. Do you want to be the last kid on your block still depending on corporate social media for your self-actualization?
I always feel kind of uneasy when people who are apologizing say, "I don't even know who the person who did that was. They feel like a totally different person from who I really am."
Sweetie, I'm sorry, but you have to get to know that person. If this person you apparently detest on every level just occasionally hijacks your body and does something awful, your understanding of how and when and why that happens is essential to your ability to promise anyone else that they won't be on the receiving end of that.
It might sound a little backward, that the key to avoiding destructive behaviour is not forcibly repressing that detestable energy inside yourself. You can deny those feelings and force them into exile, but they're going to come back and take over sometime in the future when your defences are down.
If self-loathing actually got shit done, I'd still be in favour of it. Unfortunately, it's only good at satisfying emotions in the short run, so you can really feel like you're putting in serious effort. It's not a winning strategy if you want to genuinely change your behaviour or thought patterns or emotional responses.
Self-reflection is not supposed to be a lesson in flagellating yourself. It is more brutal and gentler, because it rakes over the twisted shards of what happened in your mind with the dispassion of an engineer assessing a bridge collapse and says, "What really happened here? How can we prevent it from happening again in the future?"
It's possible to get to know your shadow, but not be consumed by it. You could eventually feel able to turn over the rocks in your brain, and catalogue and understand all the things squirming beneath. The shame won't kill you.
And being able to understand your triggers and tells, spotting your brain taking off before it's completely left atmosphere, is an incredibly important part of that.
Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?
Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.
Now, it’s just… Social media. That’s it. Social media and news sites. And I’m tired of social media and I’m tired of the news.
Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?
#firstpost
[id: a light pink userbox with a pastel pink border, and pastel pink text that reads “this user loves plushies/stuffed animals.” on the left is an image of a pile of sanrio plushies. /end id]