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Latest Posts by smaethegae - Page 4
Brucie Wayne accidentally killing the joker
This happens before Red Hood is revealed as Jason, but after he shows up. Bruce is at a gala and has been very stressed lately, which is why he was so caught off guard with the Joker arriving. A big thing about today? It’s Jason’s adoption day anniversary. Bruce is barely clinging to being good.
However, Joker has a new laughing gas that he thought would make everyone fall into a catatonic state of laughter, striking a blow against all of Gotham’s elite.
That’s what he thought it would do.
Instead, it lowered inhibitions and increased their emotions. It also reduced their ability to think things through. Doing this to Bruce, who is stressed with Red Hood making moves and Justice League stuff getting more stressful and it being the anniversary of the day he could finally welcome his beautiful boy into the family, only to be face to face with the reason he lost his kid?
It only takes one comment about the old Robin for Bruce to go feral.
He isn’t thinking things through, isn’t focused on how hard he is hitting things, or where they are moving until he’s on a balcony with the Joker, and he’s distantly aware he’s been screaming about the clown having done enough-
Everyone watches, spellbound, as Brucie Wayne, under the influence of this new gas, pitches both the Joker and himself off the balcony, twenty stories above the ground.
Red Hood catches Brucie Wayne.
No one catches the Joker.
The morning papers scream about how the Joker died from Gotham’s prince being drugged, and how the city’s new crime lord kidnapped Brucie before he could die.
Everyone in Gotham is in disarray.
Dick is panicking after seeing the headline. (He was in Bludhaven.)
Tim is cursing himself. (He was home sick with the flu.)
Jason is struggling with his emotions.
Alfred is loading his shot gun.
Jason should kill the Joker and just not tell anyone. like, lets be real here, if he were to silently slip in and kill the Joker in his sleep, are any of the workers at Arkham really going to give enough of a shit to say anything??? with the paperwork they’d have to do, and the attention they’d get once the media caught wind of the break in/murder, i bet all Jason would have to do is leave like, a basket of muffins next to the dead body as a thank you and the staff would just dispose of the body and shut the fuck up about it.
i bet you he could get through a solid six to eight month period of being weirdly happy and interactive with the rest of the family before Dick finally asks why he’s been in such a good mood lately over family dinner
Jason, casually: i dunno, i guess i’ve just had a weight lifted from my shoulders; there’s less to drive me away now.
Bruce, thinking he’s finally done something right: aw Jaylad, i’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable!
Dick, the only batkid around when Jason was Robin, remembering all the times Jason would transform into the happiest kid on the planet only for them to find out a week later it was because he’d pushed a bully down the stairs at school and fractured his wrist: hold on B.
Dick: Jay, what weight has been lifted?
Jason, still nonplussed: well i finally got my GED, and the Joker thing really calmed the lazarus rage. also Steph got me into puppy yoga, we go once a week.
Bruce:
Bruce: what Joker thing.
Jason, glancing up from his food: ? d’i not mention that? he’s dead, man.
Bruce:
Dick:
Dick: sorry, what?
Tim: why the fuck am i never invited to puppy yoga?
Bruce, having a panic attack: y- what are you talking about Jay-
Tim: i would LOVE to go to puppy yoga. what the FUCK?
Jason, shrugging: you can come to puppy yoga, replacement, it’s all good
Bruce: the Joker’s dead?
Tim: FUCK YEAH, PUPPY YOGA
Jason: i think they do it with goats too.
Damian: i would be interested in this activity.
Jason: hell yeah family yoga session
Bruce: JASON PLEASE EXPAND ON THE JOKER THING
Jason: no i don’t like your tone. anyway, dick, puppy yoga?
Dick:
Dick, glancing at Bruce’s glare nervously: …i would be down for puppy yoga
Yeah, a lot of women are also perverts. It is known.
"I'm no better than a man" yeah, you're not better, but that's fine. As long as you're not sexually harassing people or anything you're not doing anything wrong and neither is that guy.
"You don't get it listening to anime music is a red flag when a boy does it and I was not a woman yet-" I think you can listen to anything you want regardless. How do you even come up with this kind of gender binary?
Just stop doing gender norms. Stop artificially limiting your freedom and inventing reasons to shame yourself over harmless behaviors or feelings. This is not a christian Minecraft server.
me @ my mutuals
I once I learn how to write crack fics I’ll write inspired by this I swear
some more sims shenanigans
Stephanie dying her hair black for an undercover OP
Stephanie: So what you guys think
Dick:
Tim: That is so freaky
Jason: You… you look like Bruce’s mom!
Stephanie: WHAT? No I don’t!
Dick: You do! And it’s so fucking freaky!
Tim: It’s a really fucking eerie resemblance. Are you sure you’re not related to him? Like a distant cousin or something?
Stephanie: Your all fucking insane. I don’t look like her!
Jason: Hold on. Alfred! Can you come here!
Alfred: There is no need to shout Master Jason. Now what is all the commotion?
Jason: We just need to know, does Steph look like Bruce’s mom?
Alfred: Bloody Hell. You do bear a very striking resemblance to the late Martha Wayne, Ms Brown.
Tim: Told you.
Dick: Come on let’s dye it brown before Bruce sees and has a fucking panic attack.
people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.
you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.
like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.
wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?
batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing
the league:
batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*
the league:
batman:
batman: *coughs awkwardly*
superman: *sighs*
batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-
superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.
the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?
wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.
superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.
batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me
green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?
'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.
they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.
wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?
batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.
wonder woman:
green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?
superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.
the league:
batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...
the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?
'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.
the league, concerned:
superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-
batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!
superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.
bonus
the league, squinting at batman:
the league: ...
superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*
the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*
duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?
Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)
No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card
Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand
Bruce: State your name and purpose.
Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!
Bruce: Your Robin?
Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!
Tim, waves: Hey Bruce
Bruce: Approved, you may enter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Name and purpose?
Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan
Bruce: Your Robin?
Hal: I.... don't have one?
Bruce: Denied
Hal: What?! But-
Bruce: Denied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?
Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!
Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.
Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man
Wally: Blame Bruce.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bruce: Name and purpose?
Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue
Bruce: Robin?
Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?
Bruce:.....yes
Big bro little bro
Dick, to the Titans: OK this is my little brother, everyone has to be so nice to him!
Jason, 6'4, built like a double fridge and holding a gun: Hey.
The Titans:
Years later.
Dick, to the Titans again: OK this is my even littler brother, everyone be super super nice to him!
Duke, 6'2, built like a linebacker and lit up like a glo stick: Yo.
The Titans:
Years after that.
Dick, again, to the Titans: OK this is my littlest baby brother, everyone has to be so sweet to him! He's a baby!
Damian, 18 and 6'0, made of pure muscle and holding a sword: Greetings.
The Titans: ...where are you finding these brothers.
Breakfast at Wayne manor
(Please look at the details, I suffered for those micro letters)
The way Jason is still there, just distanced…
Batfamily reunion, kinda ?
Not my idea: https://x.com/tocartss/status/1897135638438404416?s=46&t=zkCvxQnVoZvDMu4v7483qg
The brain is so frustrating because I can’t remember what my mother wanted for Mother’s Day.
The conversation was two days ago.
I don’t think she wants a ladder, Brain.
I can put so many characters here
'he would not fucking say that' maybe he would if he knew he was starring in his very own porn fic for the sole purpose of delighting some freaks on archive of our own dot org. maybe he'd play it up for the cameras. ever consider that
This is an appreciation post for the fanfic authors who aren’t included on rec lists
For the fanfic authors who don’t get art of their fics
For the fanfic authors who can’t get to 1000/500/100 hits
For the fanfic authors who don’t get comments/reviews
For the fanfic authors who write for small fandoms
For the fanfic authors who write rarepairs or gen fics
For the fanfic authors who get hate for the ships/characters/fandoms they write
For the fanfic authors who write in English despite it not being their first language
For the fanfic authors who don’t write in English
For the fanfic authors who don’t think anyone reads or likes their work
For the fanfic authors who aren’t big name fans
For the fanfic authors who don’t get requests in their inboxes
For the fanfic authors who can’t write stories that are more than a thousand words
For the fanfic authors who only write one ship
For the fanfic authors who are just starting
For the fanfic authors who have been writing fic for years
For the fanfic authors who use fanfic to practice writing
For the fanfic authors who write self-insert fics
For the fanfic authors who write about their OCs
For the fanfic authors who write to vent or cope
For the fanfic authors who are just waiting for their big break
Keep creating, I love you ❤️
LMAO
✞✞✞
we'll meet again
don't know where, dont know when
but I know we'll meet again
some sunny day
Severitus trope, plot, thingy, prompt.
Severitus but instead of Harry being scared of making the wrong move, he wants to make the wrong move. He can't stand the lack of chaos and shouting, he needs to feel unsafe because that is how he feels safe. So he keeps pushing his buttons, and he's getting punished ofc, but he's not being hit. There's no slapping, spanking, kicking, nothing.
One day, he pushes too many buttons for him to believe that he's not going to be hit, but to his surprise, he's not hit, so he loses it. He's screaming, shouting, maybe even crying a bit, asking when will he be hit because he can't handle not knowing.
Severus, calm as ever, maybe even looking down at a book or something, tells him he will never hit him because it's cruel, stupid, or wtv reason.
Cue Harry sobbing because he's never been told something like that, and Severus reassuring him.
Might write a fic about this
Look alike~ 🩶❤️
(I remember how the fandom agreed Twice is like Deadpool. They would be great buds~ 😭)
Guys I'm actually so normal and chill-
*Finds stuff in the books that I can interpret as Severitus*
MY SHAYLAAAA
They're off to fight and solve crimes like Batman and Robin.
Severus has back pain. Like horrible back pain to the point he spends at least 30 minutes a day on his cold hard floor in attempt to relieve it.
That’s his “stare at the ceiling and question all of his life choices” time. He wrote it into his schedule.
«Happy birthday Professor Snape!»
Was terribly busy so couldn’t draw this on time 😭😭😭 But better late than never…
The four couldn’t decide which colours to use, so they just mixed all ideas. They also wanted to make a BLACK cake, but Hermione said that would be too dark, even for Snape. Boys had to agree.
Maybe professor would be kinder now? Well, they hope so!
Art of my Winged Izuku AU
Loser
Guys is this trend still a thing? Guys? GUYS- COME BACK-
I’ve been watching MHA recently can u tell
Absolutely yes. They weren’t so single-minded that all they thought of was revenge. That would just be bad characterization.
you know what I don’t like? when ppl pretend like characters going through stuff can’t have normal experiences. I just saw someone again who said “Touya wouldn’t have done that he was too focused on killing his father during this time why would he think about that” You think he is so preoccupied with this revenge plan he genuinely doesn’t do anything else FOR YEARS???? I’m sure he had the time to do other stuff too. or “Tomura wanted to destroy society he didn’t care about *insert irrelevant interest*” let these people have fun??? let them have experiences??? they’re not just one personality trait, they are fleshed out characters. going through a hard time and having mental issues does not equal bland and unable to have fun ever. anyway Touya befriended stray cats while he lived on the streets idc