I Was Jumanji’d Too When I Was A Kid But No One Cared

we all joke about how deciding what's for dinner every day is awful but I'm not joking anymore. if I have to decide what to make for dinner one more time I might explode

wait what did nintendo ds stand for? dick sucking??ewwwww. the dsi? dick suck international??? ewwww

Thinking about some of the shit people say while fucking in porn. Like “Yea u like my pussy?” What the fuck is the dude plowing you like a tractor supposed to say to that? No? 

so excited for these three new emojis in particular

if we call squirrelflight squilf can we start calling spottedleaf speaf

debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"

what’s up with ppl who can just casually listen to music. bc ill hear a singular note and feel it in my asshole, small intestine, and right pinky finger