50 Posts!

17 years ago today.. the biggest rockstar move in history.

The look of satisfaction says everything

Drew this while my friends were being too loud in the VC

do you ever start writing a comment on the internet and then think “oh what the fuck am i going on about” and delete it

Plot twist: this isn't about monkeys...

The Monkey

A pair of shepherds were tired of wolves always stealing their sheep. To defend the animals, they bought a monkey and gave it a machine gun.

However, the monkey claimed it needed more food to ensure it was strong enough to defeat the wolves. It demanded the shepherds sell half the flock and buy it a mountain of bananas. The shepherds hated the idea, but they obeyed anyway. After all, the monkey had a gun.

As they were adding more banana crates to the pile, one shepherd said to the other, “Don’t worry, monkeys don’t live forever. I’m sure when we pick the next machine gun monkey, he’ll use his unlimited power to be a kind and merciful leader.”

you ever open a message and think ‘what the fuck am I supposed to say to this’

Can't argue with that

This blog is pro tits and anti Nazi

when i was a kid i got a 90% on my kindergarten "what are your favorite things?" test because for the question "what is your favorite animal?" i wrote down "puma" and it got marked wrong because my teacher said a puma isnt even an animal its a kind of shoe

Being the only guy who works in a beauty store is fucking hilarious sometimes. Im the only one who can sell our shitty beard shampoo and a not insignificant amount of our customers think im untrustworthy. According to my coworkers i use every mens product we have so they can get dudes to buy a shaving cream. Trying to explain to people that theres no difference between "men's" and "women's" products is like talking to a brick wall. Ive had multiple women get angry with me for sampling them out one of our "men's" moisturizers when they specifically said they wanted a mattifying one to control oil and that's the best one we have for those two things. I still think about the guy who came in asking if we had "masks for men." I contemplate ending it all every time someone returns a completely unused product that they absolutely refuse to try just because it either says or doesnt say "for men" on it. 90% of the time its the perfect product for them. I had a lady who was willing to buy a worse product for her needs that was more expensive just so it wouldnt say it was for men. Are you ever tired? Are you ever exhausted? These are the same kinds of people who say that im the one whos obsessed with gendering everything because im trans.

GIFs of my favorite Pokémon lurantis!