(This Was In Response To Me Saying That It’s Odd That Chappell Says She’s A Lesbian While Also Thirsting

pet peeve: when a male, a group of men or a male-dominated government/regime commit an act of incomprehensible violence and people lament the nature of “humans” or “people”.

free my girl she did all that shit but the fandom is mischaracterizing her for it

Unfortunately I am a pathetic butch and I have to just accept it. Somehow I love providing, protecting, and spoiling people but I will also cry if you kiss me and be a complete sappy fool and I have to learn to live with this duality 😔

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

I love vampirism as a metaphor for being homosexual and how our sexuality is seen as inherently predatory when it shouldn’t be, I love vampirism as a metaphor for obsessive and destructive love, I love vampirism as a metaphor for mental illness, BUT I also present vampirism as a metaphor for physical chronic illness.

The constant ache and hunger that will never, ever go away. You learn to live with it but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and causes you to lash out because you just can’t stand it anymore. The cycles of telling yourself you’re fine, of being able to make your peace with it, followed by the violent despair of knowing you will never know a life again without this pain and suffering. Slowly forgetting what it was like to feel normal. The ways you cope with and abate the pain are constantly demonized by those around you so you go as long as possible before giving in to what you need to survive, only for the waiting to worsen the effects so you need even more once you give in. Being seen as weak or worthy of ostracism and ridicule for something that was completely out of your control.

As someone who’s had chronic pain (and other symptoms) my whole life, the character archetype of someone being changed into a monster against their will (vampirism, werewolves, etc) has always spoken to me for that reason. Like I get it, sexy alpha werewolf claims you blablabla, but I think modern literature has leaned too much into the sexy aspect of monsters and could use a lot more of the psychological horror aspect. Really having to sit with what this character has become against their will and think about the ethics of their actions, and if they can even be condemned for what they do in response when it’s out of their control. Blame that had nowhere to go. Idk I was musing that over last night as I went over some of my old WIP and it just interests me much more than the sexy monster trope

call us ugly to sell us shit!

what’s so ironic to me is how much prostitution enthusiasts stress "listening to sex workers"—but the moment those very "sex workers" they claim to love so much disagree with them, suddenly they’re not worth listening to anymore.

"listen to sex workers" I'm listening! are you?

It would be quite silly indeed to get too hung up on potential power imbalance between Caitlyn & Vi when the show has a solid 7-10 minute supercut's worth of Caitlyn spluttering her little token protests before immediately doing exactly whatever Vi just told her to do.

I’ve seen several posts (and a lot of reposts of those posts) talking about the misogyny in rap music produced by men, and while I think that having a conversation about misogyny in entertainment is incredibly important, I also think it’s important to think about why we’re focused so heavily on demonizing rap music in particular.

A lot of mainstream music produced by men, regardless of it’s genre, has the same messaging of misogyny, rape culture, sexism, etc. If you read a lot of the lyrics of popular club/dance music especially, it’s hiding in plain sight. However, in a world in which white is the norm, we’re used to hearing that type of messaging disguised underneath the soothing, fun loving, catchy melodies sung by familiar voices so we sing along without thinking about the words leaving our mouths. Rap, while it’s still a very popular genre, goes against that familiar, comfortable habit of hiding lyrics and is very straightforward, and therefore our condemnation increases because it forces you to interact with the lyrics instead of shutting off your brain.

I don’t advocate for a lack of critical thinking or criticism for the genre, in fact I’m asking for the opposite. Is Rap truly the worst genre for misogyny? Because I could, and am, arguing that abusive lyrics hidden in songs that play over the speakers at every establishment (and especially around children) with no issue, is just as bad if not worse. Genres such as Country, which is just as full of misogyny, are treated with a kind of “roll your eyes and get over it” attitude. We treat it as a joke, if we acknowledge it at all. Those silly, backwards folk living in a cornfield town don’t know any better, really.

Socially, we also forgive and forget about male violence much quicker when the man is white. I’ve watched people blow up angrily about a white man’s crime and after 6 months it’s forgotten to the point nobody remembers it when I bring it up. However a black man in that same situation will have his disgrace last years longer. This is not me advocating in any way for everyone to get the white man treatment, but for everyone to have an accurate social reaction to the crime itself without the person’s race tainting how we view him (and by extension, those in his racial group).

Rap, while it has some serious bad apples now, has an incredibly important cultural history of pushing for social change that other popular genres in the world today do not, and it’s ironic to me that it is now seen as the most morally corrupt and oppressive genre. Associating the entire genre solely with low intelligence (both in the artist and the audience), general moral failing and filth, and a backwards view on society when there are so many rappers who have pushed for social changes harder than any other musicians, when you do not similarly condemn other musical genres, is unfortunately a case of internalized racism.

I will reiterate once again that I am not in any way saying that anyone or anything should get off scot-free or without deep criticism. Pointing out an unfair balance in how we condemn groups of people is simply that, pointing it out. I think we need more criticism but I think that criticism needs to be nuanced, complete, and informed. I would also urge you to look into smaller or more underground rappers/rap movements because there is a lot to enjoy and many good people to support when you’re able to get past the big names that do well for a reason. The majority of our culture today is misogynistic so misogynistic lyrics appeal to the general masses, and people who refuse to fall under that group don’t end up as famous as those who do.

[Edited to hopefully make my point easier to understand bc I was getting several reposts that seemed to be taking away a message I didn’t mean to put across]

That’s actually an insane take wtf. I’m begging people to stop basing women’s identities off of men, whether it’s for or against them. Women can and DO partake in things that doesn’t have anything to do with men. We are not based off of our differences to men. Oml.

Why do I keep getting the “Transandrophobia” tag across my dash, I literally don’t interact with any trans tags whatsoever but half of the posts I’m seeing are people whining about how it’s bad to dislike men because some are trans and don’t commit violent crimes as much.

Which like, I agree that trans men don’t commit violent crimes as often, hence why I’m not talking about them bc they were raised female and usually know better, but if I leave them out then I’m transphobic or whatever there’s not any way to win with these people.