I've Finally Had The Courage To Read "a Vile Thing You Are" And I'm Crying.. I'm Now Depressed.. Talk

I FEEL HURT U WILL PAY FOR MY THERAPY BILLS

↪ 07. An explosion of emotions

PREV PART trigger warnings: anger, medical + emotional neglect, shouting, Reader loses their shit because Jason triggers their fight and flight, mental breakdown, mentions of wanting to die, basically a very angsty and dark chapter misgendering (Reader isn't out yet), introduction of a dc character main m.list           series m.list

Ignorance is bliss, and you wish you kept that ignorance. After Maria sent you an article that has been logging Penguin crimes, you just couldn’t help but research them obsessively as you walk back to the manor.

You wince as you see a mugshot from your supervisor flash by. Yeah, you are closing this article and forgetting everything you read. The job pays well, and when you get into university you’ll just quit and get a job or two on campus. It will most likely be shit pay, but at least it wouldn’t morally weigh on you. “Just until you can move out,” you mumble as you open the front door. “and the colleagues are kind…”

When you walk through the door, there was Jason, you try to ignore him. Swimming in your thoughts, yet to notice how impatient he has been, how irritation was brewing in the air.

“You and I are going to have a chat about your behaviour towards Alfie,” Jason says, snapping you out of your thoughts and your eyes snap up to his. You could feel your heart start to pound, why was Todd speaking to you. “and before you refuse, we are going to the park.”

He looks irritated, but his eyes aren’t that glowing green. They are dull, not the vibrant colour that haunts you every time you close your eyes. “...No…” you assert, picking the skin around your fingers, your posture slumped and you look terrified. “I see no need to go anywhere with you, I see no reason why you would need to speak to me about my behaviour.”

He just sighs and shakes his head. “My god, I suggested a public area, we need to talk because you’re a disrespectful piece of shit. Stop being a---”

“No. We don’t, and you are the piece of shit! I am just done taking everyone’s bullshit.” you interrupt, your tone harsher and your stance more confident than before but you still look pathetic to Jason. You still look like the same teen he beat up that day, sure your eyes are harsher and your body is littered with scars he gave you. But you are still the same pathetic child clingy to the memories of your mother. “You have yet to show remorse for your actions after all these years, I will never be alone with you again.”

He scoffs, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s not like he could deny that the apology was insincere, and he still feels little to no remorse. He sighs; “It was years ago, grow up.”

“Why don’t you fucking grow up!” you suddenly shout, throwing your bag on the ground. The echo of your shout loud and you could hear doors open. “You beat up a child! I was barely a teen and you still can’t fucking apologise! You still can’t look me in my eyes and admit what you did was wrong! None of you can! I was attacked by my supposed brother in my own room!” You could feel your muscles tense as your pain intensifies, anger is a painful emotion to have. But to hold it in is even more painful. “You destroyed most of what I had left of my mother and her family! Why?! Because you were jealous that Bruce took in his recently orphaned biological child?!”

You step closer to Jason, your eyes are scaring him, you look like you are in pain. But at the same time you look vengeful. You look like you’ve been pushed to the limit. “You don’t understand,” he hisses, stepping closer to you. He won’t be intimidated by a civilian.

“Then fucking let me!” you shout, basically spitting it out. Your nose flaring and your hands shaking. “You all tell me that I don’t understand, yet you all tell me that I have to forgive and forgive as you tear my heart out! And I am done! I am finally getting my life together, finally taking the next steps. And now you suddenly want to talk?! But you still refuse to explain?!”

You laugh, it was hysterical. If Jason didn’t know the laughs of the Joker, intimately, he would compare them in a heartbeat. Without thinking he grabs your arms, trying to force you away from him. Your siblings were watching the fight, he didn’t want to turn around to see Stephanie, Cassandra and Barbara. If he did, he would see their confused faces. He would see how they don’t understand your anger, and he would see Tim finally telling them the full story. A story that Cassandra had deciphered from just your shouting. A story that made it seem like you were in great physical pain.

“None of you have any rights to my time!” You shout, trying to get your arms lose from Jason’s grip. “And you have no right to touch me!” But Jason still didn’t let you go, you want to keep shouting, you want to shout at him until he let’s you go. Until he realises what harm he has done to you. Until your whole family finally realises all they’ve done, why did Tim seek you out? Why couldn’t Alfred just leave you be?! Why couldn’t you just keep your anger hidden until you were gone?! “Stop touching me, I hate you. I wish I died that day! I wish I didn’t have to live like this!”

You weren’t even shouting at him anymore. You were shouting at all of them, you were shouting about everything they’ve put you through. But you were also finally letting out the emotional pain your illness has given you. You’re shouting to the heavens, you are shouting to whoever will listen. You are shouting because the pain has finally become too much to handle.

The straw that breaks the camel's back has finally come.

You’re like a bucket overflowing with water, you are full of emotions that Jason had never seen you express. The only time he has ever seen you shake like this was that day, oh gods, what has he done?

You’re broken in ways he will never understand. You are in pain, and he’s the reason why. You are slipping, you’re breaking down and he doesn’t know what to do. “Step away from them,” he suddenly hears Duke’s voice, a boy that Bruce had recently thought about adopting, a meta that joined their ranks. Wait, is he calling her, them? “before I knock your teeth out.”

Jason steps backs in shock, his hold of you disappearing, but you didn’t even notice. Your hands going up to your shoulders as you start scratching. Oh my dear, you look crazed, you look as if you belong in Arkham Asylum. And Duke, he looks like he knows you. “(Name)” Duke whispers, trying to get you to stop scratching yourself. It almost seems as if you were trying to scratch away your pain, and by the gods, you were attempting to. Your fingertips bleeding, your eyes full of tears. “I am here, it’s Duke, your lab partner, what can I do for you?”

“I need to die,” you whisper, your eyes snap to his. “can you kill me?”

“You know I can’t,” he whispers, brushing some of your hair out of your face. Carefully making sure that his fingers don’t get tangled in your hair, if his fingers were to do that you would panic even more. Your mind would set you back even more, at least now you seem partly lucid. “but I can and will listen.”

You choke on a sob, and tears start streaming down your face as you slowly stop scratching. You barely know him, and here he is in your home (for whatever reason unknown to you), offering his ear to you. “What’s going on?!” Jason whisper-shouts, staring at Dick for guidance. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know how to act, not with the slimy feeling in his chest. Not with this voice in his head whispering that this is all his fault. Dick stares at him and mouths; ‘I have no idea’

But you ignore it all.

“You promise?” You ask Duke, your eyes show how scared you are to be hurt. Your body language defensive. Black spots were slowing clouding the corner of your eyes.

“I promise.”

And with that you close your eyes.

NEXT PART Notice how I was in a dramatic mood here?

taglist: Taglist: @prettiest-thing-in-the-morgue, @bunniotomia, @devotedlyshamelessdetective, @princessbonnie-bell, @seemee3, @pix-stuff, @venomsvl, @amber-content, @stove-top96, @frank-vanderboom, @leeiasure, @1abi, @shadowytravelerlover, @chericia, @lithiumval, @lingxio, @cssammyyarts, @marsmabe, @foolishseven, @kore-of-the-underworld, @bunbunboysworld, @homeless-clown, @miashico, @alwaysholymilkshake, @1cxndy, @kittzu, @rtyuy1346, @exactlynumberonekryptonite, @hopingtoclearmedschool, @artistwithcreativeburnout, @alishii, @vanessa-boo, @holylonelyponyeatingmacaroni, @91-kya, @ryuushou, @jjsmeowthie, @justthere1956, @depressed--therapist, @xzmickeyzx, @cheappremingerfromdelululand, @plsfckmedxddy, @itsberrydreemurstuff, @trashlaternfish360, @leogf, @dirtydiavolo, @lilyalone, @welpthisisboring, @kenman00001, @nxdxsworld, @icefox8155, @ironsaladwitch, @holderoflostmemories, @asillysimp, @wisefuncherryblossom, @eyeless-kun, @marina27826, @muggleloveralways (is there a limit with tagging people or something???)

Writing for Commissions to help pay for next college term!

Hello, I am trying to save up for my next college term so I am opening commissions for any fandom related writing!

I will Write HCs, blurbs, scenarios, concepts, and full blown fanfics!

For reference to my work please feel free to check out. My previously posted works on my masterlist

Masterlist

Will Writing- X readers (platonic and Romantic), Characters × Charcters (platonic, and romantic), *OC × characters, found family, I'm willing to do almost any Fanfic trope, just ask me about it! including yandere**

Will not write- Child/Adult (romantic), Zoophilia, Noncon.

* a basic character sheet for the OC is necessary, will accept written character sheets, drawing aren't necessary.

**any yandere work will require a more extensive conversation just to make sure that you get what you want!

Rates-

Hc, blurbs, scenarios: $6-7 depending on requested length.

Concepts- $8-10 depending on length

Fanfic- $10 per 1000 words,

anything below 1000 words I considered to be a scenario!

Payment is for now only accepted Via Zelle and PayPal. (feel free to inform me about other payment Options)

im in DESPERATE need for a part two of pull me in, whether reader dies or LEAVES bruce where the batfam helps her PLEASE. ANYTHING. i NEED to see the regret in bruce's actions PLEASE SOBS... 😖😖😖

I WILL I PROMSIE

Bro.. I really need to on my notifications because I didn't even see you reply 😭

-👻anon

BRI TUMBLR DOESNT TELL ME ANYTHING I LITERALLY HAVE TO MANUALKY CHECK SO I FEEL U

Have you watched Alice in Borderland? I remember becoming obsessed with chishiya and some killer dude (you can already tell that I'm into red flag guys 😔)

-👻anon

I haven't but I remembered that era everyone was somping for him xd

I'm not accusing you! I really liked your work, but as someone remotely connected to the Russian special services, I can add that there is no CIA in Russia, there is the FSB.

Heyy thanks for the feedback bcz I didn't know !!

UR TOO SWEET AHHH

Lone Warrior pt.2

summary :reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.

a/n : tysm for the love on the first post hope u enjoy !!33

part 1

" Y/n ?" Damian asks as he turns to Alfred , his face morphs into a mask of confusion . He has resided in his father's mansion for three years, and never has he heard of someone by that name ever being mentioned . He stared at Alfred curiously as he shuffled through the door and steeled himself to sit on the dusty bed .

Another reason that bewildered Damian to the core - he knew Alfred personally tended and cleaned all of Wayne Manor regardless if a space was used often or not so for this room to be neglected in this state itches at his mind .

" Y/n is one of your older adopted siblings Master Damian." Alfred begins . Damian huffs - ' Seriously, another charity case his father had to take pity on ? ' he thinks as his mind grew bored - the initial interest being lost . " Y/n was adopted around the time Master Jason had passed, and before Master Drake joined us," Alfred continued , paying no heed to Damian's uninterested look.

He rolls his eyes , " That's nothing special, Pennyworth. Besides, where are they if they're my supposed adopted sibling ?" Damian asks pointedly . Alfred goes silent for a few moments , wringing his worn hands together as he looks everywhere but at Damian .

" We do not know where Master Y/N is " he finishes - voice going soft . Damian quirks up an eyebrow, " Thats insane Pennyworth surely we have an inkling where they are - hell, we know where Jason is whenever he's being all pissy and distant !!" Damian exclaims .

" Master Damian , Master Y/N left when she was 14 without saying anything to anyone," Alfred explains as he stares at your bed with a face of longing . Silence draws out between them - Damian is too shocked to say anything . " Did father not bother to look for them ?" He asks carefully.

Another beat of awkward silence passes between them before Alfred answers with a quiet ' no ' . Nothing is said between them again for a while . " Why " Damian questions in disbelief - it's too uncharacteristic of his father to simply forget one of his own children - he is batman - batman always has a plan for everything - always thinks of possibilities- always solves anomalies - so why hadn't father cared enough about this ? About you ?

" I am afraid Master Name and Master Bruce never clicked seeing as ...they never once conversed for the scarce years she lived with us " Alfred shakily answers - it as if the thought of you haunts him deeply - maybe you do - maybe you do haunt the old man after all in his eyes you were the only normal child he had the pleasure of raising in Bruce's ward.

Damian says nothing , just walks around the room until he stops at an old portrait of a young girl - what he presumes a younger you . It's worn down from the years and pile of dust . Damian takes a good look at you , notes your dead eyes - dead eyes that reflect indifference to the world around you with hints of pain and endless suffering burrow within . Your hair is loosely tied behind with a ribbon behind . You are noticeably not smiling , even when you hold a giant ice cream cone in your hands - just a dead pan look staring back at him.

His hand caresses the portrait with care - he wonders what you are like . ' Were you someone kind ?' . ' Someone who takes and cares only for themselves? ' . 'Were you a born genius or hard worker type ? ' . 'A hero or maybe a villain ? ' . ' Were you a go with the flow person or practical?' .

' Why were you so unheard of ? ' , ' Why hadn't Father , Grayson, or Drake told him about you ?' So many questions he wants to demand but all left unanswered . " Tell me about them, Pennyworth." Damian demands , turning around to look at the old man .

Pennyworth sighs as he runs his hands along the sheets , " They were quiet - not the awkward type of quiet , the observing type - they didn't say much about themselves - only briefly mentioned her parents and life before . She was an incredible student , straight A's and incredibly independent .....in fact - I've never had to clean up Master Y/N because she insisted I hadn't because of my elderly age ....... she loved gardening and making little water fountains for the strays and the birds that used to come by . She loved apple tarts and loved to swim, but if K recalled properly , she hated whenever people talked about Arkham Asylum . " Alfrdd recounts.

Damian takes it all in - you sound complex - an enigma , sound so unlike himself and his siblings but alike at the same time . " Why did they hate Arkham Asylum?" He asks , intrigued . ' Were you close to Tood ?' , ' Had something happened to you for you to be there ?'.

" She never said - just ... expressed how inhumane Arkham Asylum is, " he finishes . Silence passes between them as Damian ponders on the response . " I must leave now Master Damian to prepare dinner," Alfred excuses himself as he leaves the room promptly.

Damian pays him no mind , eyes glued to your portrait with determination. There is something inside him that prompts him to take it - a siren call begging him to find you and if he's learnt anything in life - he knows it's best not to ignore a gut feeling .

With determination , Damian swipes your portrait, hiding it in his pocket before leaving .

Y/N sits on a rooftop , overlooking the vast skyline of distant skyscrapers . Each moment is precise as she she carefully tracks her target, leaving a store . Y/N uses the advantage of the setting sun's bright light to align her sniper's magnification on the target's neck . - A perfect disguise as the target wouldn't see her coming unless he wants to risk his eyesight .

The gun of the sniper is pressed against her cheek while her trained hand rests on the trigger as she patiently awaits the perfect moment . The target fishes out his phone and begins to converse while walking past an open dumpster - here, she carefully takes point and shoots .

She watches with a muted look as her target halts in their actions , blood spills from his head as he falls dumbly into the dumpster . " Great job agent 15 , a job well executed," a voice buzzes through her earpiece . Y/N tucks her sniper back into its discreet brief case before answering, " Thank you, agent 17 , permission to clock out for today's mission ?" Y/N asks into her intercom , the sun setting behind her in a beautiful arch as the wind blows past her .

" Permission granted , please return to base 15 " agent 17's motherly voice chimes in before cutting out . Y/N takes a good look at the setting sun - thoughts of her mother and father come to her mind - she wishes - she wishes she can cradle them both and comfort them with the knowledge that their daughter is putting a stop to crime but she knows it's wishful thinking - she knows mothers far too insane and father has long forgotten her but still - she's determined to prevent what's happened to her , happen to another person. Determined to save an innocent life from walking down the road she has .

With that , Y/N looks back at the setting sun's one last time before jumping off the rooftop and disappearing into the evening's abyss .

Damian sits in front of the bat computer as he busily types away . The batcomputer scans through hundreds of possible pictures of what Y/N would be grown up to look like now , another monitor is combing through the internet archives trying to find any presence of her .

He groans in frustration as a monitor displays another 'error' - ' how can a computer capable of decrypting alien tech be so incapable and useless when it comes to finding a missing person?' Damian thinks as he runs another program.

He leans back in the seat - exhausted and tired , it has been three hours and he has yet to find anything about you - not even your old school records, not even your own birth - it's like you were seamlessly erased from the earth and it does nothing but fuel his intrigue and nagging gut feeling to find you.

' Were you trafficked?' , ' Were you murdered and thrown away to rot in a ditch?' , ' Or used in some illegal organ transfer ?' So many thoughts course through his mind violently like a tornado.

He silently curses Bruce and Pennyworth in his mind -' how can they possibly allow a 14 year old girl to run away ? ' . ' What made her run away in the first place ?' . So many questions but no answers .

Damian was suddenly ripped out of his dilemma when a monitor began to go off . His head eagerly whipped towards it - almost snapping his neck at the pace . There on the screen , displayed a blurry security footage of a figure leaping off a building and disappearing into an alleyway along with your portrait from earlier - a 40% guaranteed match as the software compares both hair properties and the blurry closeups of your faces .

Damian's eyes widened in eagerness as he enlarged the footage and immediately ran it through software to find the footage's location . He feels his heart beat rapidly - this could be it - he could have found you ! - he might actually have done something, not even batman could do. Pride and accomplishment swell within him as he watches the loading screen complete and there - his answer to all his past questions display as bright as day , ' Russia ,Rostov-on-Don ' .

" Russia ?" He murmurs a bit confused . ' How did a 14 year old girl get to Russia of all places ?' He questions . He looks back at the blurry footage of what might be your figure leaping off the building and disappearing into an alleyway . Whatever the reason is , he is going to find out - he is going to take this sliver of hope and find you himself ." I am coming for you, sister," Damian declares as he promptly begins his preparations for Russia.

like + comment + share please!!

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I can see Damien as Draco, lmao.. I can't 😭

But I want a genderbent Draco.

Tsundere Draco x fem harry reader (I feel like Draco is a big fat tsundere, just me?)

-👻anon

I think Draco just has daddy issues man someone needs to hug that man . Anyways I'm debating if neglected Harry Potter reader should just be a statist up popular wtudent at school or neglected as always

" I am yours ~ "

-> azriel (acotar) x male reader

-> az just loves his mate

just silly tooth aching fluff + a bit of az being a lil possessive and being called a yandere lol

requested by 🍒

(made on picrew )

Azriel's wings drape over his mate's body , shielding him from the rays of the setting sun . His strong hands pull his mate closer to his chest - his heart beat picking up its pace as he feels his mate's soft breath fan his skin .

Azriel tucks his mate's hair behind their ears , pressing a gentle kiss on the earrings that adorned them. It baffles him every single day - for the past eight centuries , this gentle , kind , compassionate male is his mate - his and only his .

Every day, his mate never fails to make him fall helplessly in love with him . From his strange habit of eating biscuits with a fork to his endearing smile that makes his soul feel so warm and fluttery- Azriel appreciates them with everything he has .

Azriel presses another kiss to his mate's forehead - taking in his beauty for the millionth time . " You know you can take a picture, right ?" His mate voice breaks through the evening silence .

Azriel just smiles - embrassed his mate caught him staring . " I'm afraid the camera wouldn't do your beauty any justice, my love,". His mate gives him a ' are you serious ' look, and Azriel just laughs .

" It's true you are like a priceless gem that only I get to appreciate," Azriel hums out as he bends down to kiss the collarbone of his mate . His mate just laughs . " You sound like a yandere." They giggle out as they ruffle Azriel's hair .

Azriel clicks his tongue in offense . " Yanderes ain't got nothing on how obsessed, in love and dedicated I am with you " . His mate giggles , " basically a silly yandere " . Azriel give his mate a deadpan look . " What proof do you even have ?" He says playfully offended.

His mate snuggles to him closer , wrapping their hands around his neck , " hmmmm the time you punched Cas for calling me pretty boy , the time you stalked a guy because he apparently looked at me , uhhhh - the time you made out with me in front of Helion after he hugged me , uhhh the time you locked us in your room because you didn't want to have dinner with your family because I was apparently too handsome-" his mate babbles on .

Azriel laughs , " Okay, first off - that guy had it coming , secondly, Cas has his own mate, so why is he flirting with mine, and thirdly that night you looked way too ravishing " Azriel defended himself .

His mate rolled his eyes . " You're so yandere for me , I'm suprised you haven't killed anyone yet ...." he trails off .

Azriel looks into his mate's eyes with a blank look . His mate looks at him in bewilderment. " Azriel, who did you kill-" his mate questions, but Azriel tackles him to the bed - pinning him underneath himself . " No one too important, my love," He mutters as he presses a hot kiss to their lips.

Fun fact: I used to be that one quiet kid who also happen to be a loner.

People call me an extrovert now but they don't know how I'd rather be alone and that I'm literally forcing myself to be an extrovert due to my field that I chose 😭

Damn that hurts a lil too hard bcz im an introvert too thankfully my field I don't gotta talk to pple but still I understand you anon