Haii, I Was Wondering, Do You Have A Taglist? If So, Could I Be Added? If Not, Pls Ignore Me Lol. I Can’t

words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful: 

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded 

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective  arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain: 

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted: 

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile 

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven 

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback 

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap 

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe: 

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank 

We don't know for sure 👀👀 but I'll hug you lovingly 💜💜💜

summary : the forgotten wayne child realizes why she's so forgotten.

Dark trees lined the horizon , their luscious leaves obscure the sight of the steady rising sun in the distance . You stand by yourself alone , eyes drooping ever so slightly as you your hands steadily move across the canvas before you.

You feel so lost - maybe because you are - lost and scared as your hands slightly trembled - the grip on your paint brush loosening. The paintbrush looks dull at first - just a sleek white wood, but the bristles were of the finest quality, of course - any gift from Damian Wayne would be .

You vividly recall the morning he had shoved a small rectangular box in your hands - face holds a small scowl . You recall opening it and was met with the paintbrush.

"Damian, you didn't have to," you murmur slightly as your hands glided across the smooth wood with utter care. Damian looks at you impassivly, " I made it , carved the wood and thined out the brush myself - I just happened to think of you that's all " he says before turning around and disappeared behind the halls.

You held your tongue - Damian was never expressive, but he tried - tried more than anyone else had in your life to care for you . That morning, you sat the box on your desk and swore to use it on a good painting.

It's been a couple of years since that swore, and now , you find yourself finally using it. You sat up straight in your wooden stool , one hand glides across the French canvas before you , it stands proudly upon the Korean easle- the wood was sourced from the finest wood the could offer.

Your left hand props up the Japanese paints in a wooden palette , around the rim sits the purest shade of white , a molten golden yellow, little dabs of sea blue , rosey pink and earthy browns .

Your hands seize as you stop , you gently rest the paint brush onto the rim of the easle as you look at your painting. It looks beautiful to the eye- how could it not?

The woman before her has beautiful golden hair - hear that shines so brightly it could rival the sun - her face , ethereally so smooth its as if God personally carved her out the finest poreclin.

Her stunning blue eyes state right back at her- captivating - so dazzling, in fact that a mere glance at it can overthrow any captain off course.

You stare back at her but can't help but find fault in it - in the faintest corner of her collar bone, you mark a single lone bristle that stuck on with the paint . Your jaw tightens, but it doesn't match the way you clutch onto the paintbrush in fury as your eyes peek the faint outline of the littlest pink escaping the outline of her beautiful dress.

Anger boils in you, and suddenly, the girl stating back at you suddenly looks imperfect - she looks uglier now that you've seen her flaws, and suddenly, this is deeper than just some stupid painting.

You glance at the canvas once more - it's your reflection stating right back and suddenly you feel your lungs constrict on itself - denying your body of any more oxygen.

Your reflection looks so hideous- why must there be so many acne scars ? Why must your nose look so distorted ? Why is it that one eye slightly looks bigger than the other? Why is it that you aren't perfect ?

You felt tears stream down your face - body still as it a war enrages within you . You fight the urge to reach out to your reflection and tear apart your body - to rearrange it , to mold it into something better , something perfect.

Why can't you be perfect ? Why must you look like this ? Is this a cruel mockery bestowed upon you ? Your mind traces back through all your memories - memories of watching Cassandra , Stephanie, and Barbra putting in makeup one night for some gala - your sister look so happy with one another as they carefully smack their lipsticks together - their reflection looked unreal- too beautiful for the eye to comprehend.

Bruce had invited them - not you but them and a few other of your brothers . You feel bile rising in your throat as the memory replays before you - why hadn't Father asked you ? Does he know how much you wish to go to a gala?

To live every girl's dream of dressing up and dancing under the prettiest lights with a handsome boy ? What a naive thought- a truly naive thought as your memory flashes to you running back into your own room .

Your sobs echo through the room as you desperately slap makeup onto yourself - a pathetic attempt to look beautiful. You memory zooms in on your past self finally looking into your old mirror - the reflection is utter repulsive - a literal pig stands before you , makeup smeared.

You choked as you blinked away , staring back at the canvas - again, the beautiful woman's portrait morphs into one of a pig with makeup smeared on . You let out a scream - shoving the portrait back, causing it to collide with the wet grass , mud trickles onto it , covering the portraits beautiful face.

You covered your face with your hands desperately as you began sobbing hard- is this what it's come to ? You being so ugly , so imperfect that it's the reason why no one in this God forsaken family loves you ?

Why you're so utterly replaceable because your surrounded by beautiful and talented people . Why Bruce always introduces Cassandra so proudly as his daughter because she's so utterly beautiful and graceful unlike you.

Why Dick and Tim snares at you whenever you're in the same vicinity . Why Alfred always shoots you a pitiful look whenever Jason and yourself quarrel - always saying "he's younger than you and had a hard life you have to foguve him" .

Us this why your mother unceremoniously dumped you 9n a cold winter night at the Wayne's manor , nothing to your name , just a simple rag that covered you?

You feel your body tremble manically - not even your own flesh wants you - just simply wants to reject your entire being . You feel yourself collapsed onto the muddy floor - maybe this is where you belong- a pig is always found in the mud - counting down the days till it meets the demise of a blade.

Maybe that's what's happening - your body is just waiting for you to die, so a better person can host it. You throw up bile upon yourself - you look even more pathetic- you look like a mess - an unwanted mess that everyone purposely walks pass because it's utterly too much .

You hiccuped again when you hear the mansions backdoor slide open.

"Name just what do you think you're doing ?"

thank you for reading !!

Is anyone interested in being a beta reader ? Just curious , I have some wips but I'm not so confident in them so I was wondering if anyone is willing to read them and decide whether I should post them or not.

I don't remember my request since I've requested a lot along with the isekaid reader (the stranger.. Was that the title?) But I'm holding you at gun point 🔫😤

-👻

IM SORRY lol

I just on vacation it's like 4 days waster vacation lol so I plan to somewhat Finnish all my writting stuff problem is I low-key have authors anxiety like im scared I post stuff and no one likes it 🫡🫡 so yeahh anyways to anyone waiting for an update or the request fulfilled I'm working on it !!

Bro.. I just found out that I'm not really fit. I gotta start working out 😔

-👻anon

Bro same man ( I scarf down cheetosnbefore writing this)

I have a lot of random ideas but sadly I'm not creative enough to make them 😢

-👻 anon

Same here man 😭😭

Tumblr is being an ahh again 😮‍💨

Dude, do you have a masterlist? You should pin it so that it wouldn't be buried with all of my ask (I just noticed how many asked I have sent you already)

-👻

Hey ! I just made one lmaoo because even I don't know where my own posts are lmao

Bro.. I want a joker jr in a neglected reader story.. I wonder how that would go..

-👻

Extremely angsty ngl

im in DESPERATE need for a part two of pull me in, whether reader dies or LEAVES bruce where the batfam helps her PLEASE. ANYTHING. i NEED to see the regret in bruce's actions PLEASE SOBS... 😖😖😖

I WILL I PROMSIE

Lone Warrior Pt.3

summary :reader is put into emergency foster care after a tragedy , despite living with the Wayne family for a bit , reader takes it upon herself to move away and start anew since she clearly wasn't welcomed , after many years have passed Damian finally joins the family and after a particular spat w his father he finds himself in reader's room and an interest in them has sparked.

enjoy !!

part 1 , part 2

Gotham City , North , Mercey Island , Arkham Asylum. , Year 2014

Arkham Asylum stands alone on a hill , the sky above it was a perment drab of grey that looks too similar to the flickering static screen of an old television. The trees surrounding the island were scarce and bare - it's bark a dead charcoal black - it's inhabitants long gone.

The asylum looms too tall - like an angry adult looming over a child ready to punish them . Young Y/N steadily walks through the rusting iron gates - the old thing practically already fell off its hinges years ago . Y/N stumbles along the muddy track , her beat-up converse drags the brown mush along with her every step , cementing her footsteps in their wake.

Y/N feels a shiver crawl up her spine as she observes the flesh orange paint practically peels off the building like a fresh wound , it does nothing but reveal the building weak infrastructure. Y/N eyes drifted up to the windows that were way above her, all were barcaded in thick iron bars . Some windows had absolutely no light , some had, but most were flickering on and off.

Y/N's hands hesitantly outstretched and knocked on the bolted up iron door - she stood there for a while - a long while, but her mother always taught her to be patient, so she continued waiting. A long while passes until the door opens, revealing a long corridor - everything was of sickening white , down to the floors , the ceilings even the doors . The hallways look like it outstretched for miles and miles never-ending . The air smelled of bleach, and it practically burned your nostrils .

" Hello ?" Came Y/N's small voice , unsure. A nurse emerges from a nearby door and approaches her , her blue eyes practically pierces through her soul, and Y/N can practically feel herself reel back. " Name and business," the nurse states gruffly as she skims through a nearby clipboard on the wall.

" Y/N L/N and I'm here to visit Nora L/N" She says- her tone going melancholy at the mention of her mother's name. The nurse just nods - her face looked bored. " Alright kid , sign this form and go down that hall there -" she says, pointing to the back of her . Y/N nods along as she held onto the forms.

Y/N took her time signing the visitor's rule form and her name in a visitor's sheet before walking down the hall. The halls feel suffocating - despite the fact it's so huge, but Y/N swears she can feel it pressing down on her lungs.

' Would mom remember me ?' , ' hell would she even want to seem me after so long?' She thinks to herself as she rounds a corner. It's been two years since her mother had been admitted here , two years and Y/N going back and forth with the asylum administrators for visitation rights.

It was tiring - so unnecessarily exhausting having to prove time and time again that her mother wasn't some looney - wasn't an abuser , wasn't a bad mother - that what happened on that day was built up stressd , that she was just overwhelmed only to get shut down with ' she's gone kid forget her ' each time.

Y/N stops in front of another metallic door - it's white just like every other door in here, but somehow she feels the air around her tighten . ' This is it - I get to see you, mom,' she thinks as she pushes open the door . The door lets out a groan as if it's been years, someone has used it .

Y/N steps inside , her nostrils immediately are met with the smell of synthetic medicine and bleach. The walls are white - too white - it's unnerving there is no color in sight . Before her lies an empty metallic chair - the ones you sat in the principals office.

Y/N hesitates as she approaches the chair and sits in it - the cold iron sends shivers up her exposed arms. Her attention turns to the vast window in front of her , practically its own wall.

Before the window lays, her mother sat on a plain plastic chair . Y/N swallows the rising bile in her throat as she observes her mother . Long gone were those colorful , polka dot sun dresses she knew her mother adorned so lovingly , now she wears a baby blue knee length garb , her once honey toned skin was sickly pale - as if she was a corpse . Her once vibrant brown eyes just stated back at her dully. Her mother's hair - her hair that was always pin back or braided so beautifully was now knotted messily and strewn about her face .

Y/N feels herself wince as she takes in how skinny her mother has become to the point you can see her hallow cheekbones and the veins in her arms and legs. Silence engulfs them for a long while - both taking in each other . " Y/N," her mother's wraspy voice calls out to her . Y/N feels herself freeze - and suddenly, she feels tears fall down her eyes . Surely, if her mentor saw her like this, she'd laugh at her patheticness.

Yet still, the tears begin to pursue down her face , landing on her hands . " Mama " Y/N calls out longingly because God knows how much she wants her mom , how much she craves for her old life, to feel her mother's warmth , to feel her dad pick her up all over again , to feel normal - to feel like a kid again.

She chokes back a sob - God doesn't love her enough to grant her that wish - doesn't have enough mercy to even grant her that even in her dreams. " Y/N , what are you doing here dear ?" Her mother's hoarse voice asks her , the straight jacket wrapped around her like a cobra restraining her from her own pathetic attempt to comfort her daughter.

Y/N chokes up at the sight . " I'm here to see you, Mama," she answers truthfully with a smile. Her mother looks at her daughter - her beautiful daughter and for the first tike since she's been admitted here she let's out a laugh. " Missed you sweetheart " she murmurs , her eyes - her eyes look warm like they used to.

Y/N just nods , " Missed you more, Mama," she says sincerely as she looks at her mom, hopefully. Her mother smiles at her while she rubs against her handcuffs ." How are you dear ?" Her mother asks as she peers at her .

Y/N smiles , ecstatic - she's internally great full her mother was strong enough to withstand going crazy being locked up in here. " I'm fine, mom - I'm in military school now." Y/N answers as she shoots her chair closer to the window. Her mother begins to anxiously rock in her chair , " Military school ? " she asks, perplexed . Y/N allows silence to pass between them.

Unsure how to answer her , her mother meanwhile begins bouncing her foot anxiously. " They - they're turning you into a monster - my daughter, my precious daughter, how - how dare they -" she begins to rambling. Y/N perks up and places her hands against the glass ," No mama, no one is turning me into anything - I'm gonna make the world better, Mama, that's all promise -"

Y/N tries to persuade her but it was no use her mother was in too deep , " No - NO ! I WILL NOT LET THAT MAN TURN YOU INTO A MONSTER - THAT DEVILISH MAN HOW DARR HE TAKE MY DAUGHTER FROM ME AND TURN HER INTO A DEMONIC WRENCH LIKE HIMSELF - HOW DARE HE - HOW DARE HE !!!" She begins screaming and viciously pulling at her chains.

Y/N bangs against the window , " Mother, please ! I am not a monster mama please I'm still your little girl !!" Y/N practically pleads with her , her voice drowning in desperation as she banged against the glass hoping to get through to her.

Blood begins to spill from her mother's arms , and she begins to scream and curse violently as the blood gets everywhere on her clothes. " SHUT IT YOU DEMON, YOU TOOK AWAY MY DAUGHTER - YOU WICKED WRENCH I WILL KILL YOU!!," She declared as she violently launched herself to the glass . Her bloodied hands begin the bang against the glass.

Y/N begins to back away from the window , tears now spilling from her eyes - not even noticing the way her body collides with the chair. " Mama please clam down -" she tries again , pleading like a little child all over again -

Again, she's that 10 year old girl looking at her mom and dad fight all over again, and it makes her feel sick . Again, she's that helpless child that hides behind the sofa cushion as their screaming match gets more violent, and the sound of plates and glass cups being broken practically echo off her eardrums Her mother doesn't even stop - just starts bashing her head against the glass even more violently .

A door behind her mother's room opens and in walks in two heavily guards and a nurse. " GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME " her mother yells as she frantically tries to pry the guards hold off her . One guard looks to another and simply nods. " What are you doing ? WAIT LEAVE HER ALONE " Y/N yells as a guard practically shoves her mother face first into the floor and kept his whole body weight on her.

Y/N immediately starts banging against the glass hopelessly, " LEAVE MY MOM ALONE PLEASE " but no one paid her any heed. The nurse simply flicks at the barrel of a syringe and begins to approach her mother. " BACK AWAY FROM ME YOU WICKED BITCH" her mother shouts , her legs , frantically kicks at the air.

The nurse does nothing. she just calmly approaches her mother and sticks a slightly yellow liquid into her mother's neck. Y/N watches in utter horror as her mother's body begins to go limp before her. " WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER ?" Y/N shouts as she violently bangs against the glass. She watches as the guards drag her mother's body away without any care . The nurse turns to face her , face bored, " We injected her with benzodiazepine " she says , tone laced in sarcasm.

Y/N feels her eye twitch in anger. " English " she demanded . The nurse looks her up and down , " Basically, we sedated your mother kid now go home," she says before turning around . Y/N growls as she banged on the glass one last time , " MY MOTHER WAS NOT CRAZY YOU MADE HER THIS WAY".

Rostov-on-Don , Rostov Oblast , Russia , 2025

Y/N practically jolts up - like a madman being risen back from the dead. That memory of her mother will always haunt her even now when it's been years and years. Y/N wipes away at the stray tears on her face and sniffles .

She always go through with this - every night she is forced to relive that haunting memory of her mother - reliving how she's failed her time and time again - relive the anger of wanting to burn everyone in that stupid asylum to the floor .

Her hands tighten around the wool blanket laid on top of her - she gets angry every time she thinks of that place - that place that does nothing but destroy people lives. Another tear falls onto her palms as she states into the darkness of her room.

Her mom would of been normal if they hadn't dragged her there - if those wicked people hadn't taken her away. Her hand unconsciously reaches under her pillow and withdraws a small revolver . She plays with the cylinder , tracing over the five bullets within it . Her eyes drift over to her alarm clock - it displays 4 : 00 am.

Y/N pursues her lips - 'no use sleeping anyways ' she thinks to herself as she slips off her bed and hurriedly puts on her sneakers. Y/N grabs her phone , the revolver and her keys , shoving them in her hoodies'a pocket before slipping out her front door - fully intending to go for a run . Maybe - just maybe she can clear up her mind and pretend everything is fine .

Y/N finds herself jogging along the coast , the dock is lined with ships from all sizes galore - all docking in for the day to offload their goods . The water is crystal clear , practically a shimmering mirror as it reflects the faint light in the sky. It glistens and glided along like a ribbon dancing in the wind.

The sky itself - a beautiful tapestry of dark violet mixing in with pink and yellow hues - a tell tale sign that morning was about to dawn upon the country. Birds begin to flock onto the nearby seashore while the fishermen below on the docks set out to catch their early catch.

Y/N inhales the crisp sea air - practically greedily filling her lungs . Russia was so beautiful - so warm just like her mother was - no wonder why she always felt homesick when she spent too long away from home. Y/N crosses the empty road , making sure to wipe away her sweat. She begins a slow jog as she acends the hill in front of her - she is sure Dedushka (grandpa) Micheal is already busy brewing coffee in his small parlor, and she fully intends to get herself a cup. Efore the morning rush.

Just as she makes it to the top , she spots a kid in front of her crossing the road while an incoming truck comes barreling towards them , full speed. She immediately makes a bolt for it practically grabs the kid by the collar and yanks him back towards her . " Kid, look out !" She exclaimed as she shoved the kid back , causing him to collide with the ground.

The kid landed with a loud " oomph" behind her while his phone that he was previously so occupied with went flying out of his hand elsewhere. Y/N runs towards him and sits him up against the nearby building. The boy groans as he holds onto his head . " Hey, are you okay ?" Y/N aks as she brushes his raven hair back. The boy groans and sends her a glare - his green eyes literally looks at her in utter fury, " Listen lady I knew what I was doing- " he starts arguing but immediately stops when he gets a good look at her.

" Y/N ?!!" He exclaims and immediately embraces her.

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Taglist :

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Notes :

(Also sorry if this was short I was anxious writting this - might edit later because I still don't like it but ty for reading !!!)

(Also I'm not sure why some @ aren't working ? If any experienced author knows why please let me know)

(Also, to any Russian readers, please correct me in any mistakes or misrepresentation - all Russian came from Google, so I apologize in advance)