Because What Are Fruits But Symbols Of Greed, And Love, And Humanity

God why do I worry about what people think of me

Like today I went to Target and there is a Starbucks in there. So, my mom and I just got some because we had a long day. And she knows I love Starbucks coffee. But seriously as we were walking through Target the whole time I was worried about what people were thinking of me. THE WHOLE TIME. Like 'oh that girl has Starbucks, how stereotypical' and 'She has Starbucks must be a spoiled little brat.' I feel so stupid.

for a while i lived in an old house; the kind u.s americans don't often get to live in - living in a really old house here is super expensive. i found out right before i moved out that the house was actually so old that it features in a poem by emily dickinson.

i liked that there were footprints in front of the sink, worn into the hardwood. there were handprints on some of the handrails. we'd find secret marks from other tenants, little hints someone else had lived and died there. and yeah, there was a lot wrong with the house. there are a lot of DIY skills you learn when you are a grad student that cannot afford to pay someone else to do-it-for-ya. i shared the house with 8 others. the house always had this noise to it. sometimes that noise was really fucking awful.

in the mornings though, the sun would slant in thick amber skiens through the windows, and i'd be the first one up. i'd shuffle around, get showered in this tub that was trying to exit through the floor, get my clothes on. i would usually creep around in the kitchen until it was time to start waking everyone else up - some of them required multiple rounds of polite hey man we gotta go knocks. and it felt... outside of time. a loud kind of quiet.

the ghosts of the house always felt like they were humming in a melody just out of reach. i know people say that the witching hour happens in the dark, but i always felt like it occurred somewhere around 6:45 in the morning. like - for literal centuries, somebody stood here and did the dishes. for literal centuries, somebody else has been looking out the window to this tree in our garden. for literal centuries, people have been stubbing their toes and cracking their backs and complaining about the weather. something about that was so... strangely lovely.

i have to be honest. i'm not a history aficionado. i know, i know; it's tragic of me. i usually respond to "this thing is super old" by being like, wow! cool! and moving on. but this house was the first time i felt like the past was standing there. like it was breathing. like someone else was drying their hands with me. playing chess on the sofa. adding honey to their tea.

i grew up in an old town. like, literally, a few miles off of walden pond (as in of the walden). (also, relatedly, don't swim in walden, it's so unbelievably dirty). but my family didn't have "old house" kind of money. we had a barely-standing house from the 70's. history existed kind of... parallel to me. you had to go somewhere to be in history. your school would pack you up on a bus and take you to some "ye olden times" place and you'd see how they used to make glass or whatever, and then you'd go home to your LEDs. most museums were small and closed before 5. you knew history was, like, somewhere, but the only thing that was open was the mcdonalds and the mall.

i remember one of my seventh grade history teachers telling us - some day you'll see how long we've been human for and that thing has been puzzling me. i know the scientific number, technically.

the house had these little scars of use. my floors didn't actually touch the walls; i had to fill them with a stopgap to stop the wind. other people had shoved rags and pieces of newspaper. i know i've lost rings and earring backs down some of the floorboards. i think the raccoons that lived in our basement probably have collected a small fortune over the years. i complain out loud to myself about how awful the stairs are (uneven, steep, evil, turning, hard to get down while holding anything) and know - someone else has said this exact same thing.

when i was packing up to leave and doing a final deep cleaning, i found a note carved in the furthest corner in the narrow cave of my closet. a child's scrawled name, a faded paint handprint, the scrangly numbers: 1857.

we've been human for a long time. way back before we can remember.

Rain in the distance.

The birds here call like they know something I don’t. Tried to talk back but I’ve forgotten their language. Dug in the dirt. Wrote 3000 words but only one felt like it mattered.

05/08/2025

THANK YOU.

Bnha canon: Deku is very plain looking

Fanfic writers: HOW THE FUCK DO I WRITE ABOUT SOFT GREEN CURLS EMERALD DOE EYES AND ROUND FRECKLED CHEEKS ON A SHITBRICKHOUSE OF A MAN LIKE ITS PLAIN????

THE FUCKER POWERS UP INTO TURQUOISE LIGHTENING????

HES SO GODDAMN PRETTY??????

?????????????????????

So I've been catching up on S4 of the BNHA anime, and uhhhhh

I know we've had that one manga panel of Izuku compared to this image of AFO, but this frame from the anime REALLY puts it into perspective how strangely similar Izuku is to AFO.

I dunno about you guys, but I think this is just another step forward for the "Dad for One" theory.....

i want a shirt that says “eat or die” because at first it sounds rebellious but its just a reminder