UNREQUITED,  FALSE ASSUMPTIONS  &  PINING  PROMPTS 

some proposal prompts

A proposes under the stars, telling B that no matter what happens, they'll always be there for them

slipping a wedding ring on your lover's finger while they're asleep, a wonderful surprise for them to wake up to the following morning

A's best friend (and their fiancée) dreams of a double-wedding. they convince A to propose to B at their engagement party

A recreates their first date with B, only this time the night ends with a proposal, not a first kiss

A proposes to B but gets rejected because B wants to be the one to propose

i jokingly propose to my best friend, and i expect them to say no, but instead it's a dead serious yes, and it changes everything

A makes it their mission to propose to B in a different way every year

you ask your kid(s) to help you propose to your lover. it's a messy proposal, your kid(s) not following protocol, but it's everything the two of you could ever have hoped for

A proposes to B at their friends' wedding reception (of course, for now it's a secret, as to not steal the thunder from the newly married couple)

it started out as a fake marriage — but this proposal is as real as it gets

A and B are at a mutual friend's wedding, but the relationship is falling apart. seeing as the wedding is already paid for [and to save their friend from being marked the village idiot], A pulls B from their seat, proposing to B right then and there

A's about to propose, but accidentally slips and hurt themselves. it doesn’t stop them from proposing while at the ER

A and B have been married for years — time to renew the vows?

A doesn't think it's fair to promise B forever considering they're on their death-bed, but A refuses to let go before that ring is on B's finger

A brings B back to their childhood home (which A hasn't visited in forever), and proposes to them at the property

A's proposing — B tells them that they're pregnant

A dies to save B's life a mere day after their engagement

A brings up marriage on a whim, and B says ''okay, so let's get married.''

A can't stop crying when proposing to B. A's holding the ring, and they're on their knees, but can't get a single word out. A's simply in complete disbelief over being loved by such an amazing person

it's nothing more than two best friends promising each other that if neither are married or dating at the age of twenty-five, they'll marry each other. well, you're officially twenty-five, time to bring out those wedding bands!

A jokingly tells B it's about time they propose. what A doesn't expect is for B to pull out an actual wedding ring

it's the day of the planned proposal... A's gone and misplaced the ring, and is now full on panicking

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Dialogue prompt!!

A:" Are you crazy ?! We can't go with that plan !- I can't afford to die young ! "

B: "YOU ARE IMMORTAL, YOU DUMBASS !! "

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any tips for writing road trips?

Hi :)

How to write a road trip

For a road trip there are a few things to consider that change how you go about it:

Purpose

Just wanting to have a road trip

Is there a specific place they need to go to?

What is going to wait for them at the end?

Route

If there is a specific place, they need to be at they should take the direct route there

If it’s just for fun they can go and stop in any direction whenever they want

You can include some obstacles, like road blocks, traffic jams, construction sites, getting lost, etc.

If you use actual places, try to figure out the time it takes to get from point A to point B

Sleeping arrangements

A few options: in the car, in a tent, in a motel

Depends on where they are, their budget and the weather

Passengers

How many people are in the car?

What is their relationship?

Are they carefree and happy or is there tension between them?

Plot points

The plot is like a road trip itself - it moves from one point to another and then ends at a point you choose

So, you can choose different stations during the trip to include different plot points and further the plot

Maybe something major always happens when they have to stay in the car with nowhere else to go

Maybe they only have important conversations at night

End of the trip

You should interconnect the end of the trip with the end of the plot you wanted to get across

It’s like reaching the destination in both aspects

That makes for the most satisfying end for the reader

Road Trip Ideas

picnic at the side of the road

quick bathroom breaks

having a snack stock pile

homemade sandwiches

getting lost

fights about which way to go

being stuck in traffic

the perfect road trip playlist

and still fighting over the music

phone batteries being dangerously low and no way to charge them

trying to read an actual paper map

packing too many useless things

while forgetting something important

looking out for places to sleep

contemplating if the creepy motel is worth it

sleeping in the car, uncomfortable in all the wrong places

sleeping under the starry sky

not seeing a single soul for miles

randomly stopping at interesting things

watching the sun set and rise again

measuring time with McDonald's signs they see

visiting small towns

coming across ghost towns

exploring the remnants of civilization

arriving at their destination feeling either more connected to each other or farther away from each other

I hope you enjoy this and have fun writing it!

- Jana

Dialogue / otp prompt !

A comes to the kitchen / dinning table and sees B aggressively / angrily stabbing their food with a fork. (Because B is pissed at something / had a bad day ? )

A: ...what are you doing ?

B: Can't you see I'm forking the food ?!

A... laughs .

B : glares and points the fork at A . Stop laughing .. - Or I'll fork you too !

A: snickers and smirks. Oh yeah? I'll like to see you try.

* Based on a true incident of mine * lol . Thought it'd be a good prompt for y'all.

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romantic confession dialogue prompts 

"i can't pretend anymore."

"you need to know that i have grown to care for you. deeply."

"i've loved you since the moment i first laid my eyes on you."

"you deserve to know."

"it's you. it's always been you."

"are you really so oblivious?"

"there isn't anything that i wouldn't do for you."

"i was made to love you." 

"i cannot bare to be apart from you anymore." 

"please. please just listen to me."

"don't make me say it. i can't say the words."

"you are all i can think about."

"i can't fathom the idea of my life without you in it."

"i dream of you. all i do, is dream of you."

"i am so very in love with you."

"is it so obvious how infatuated i am?"

"for years i have yearned for you, in secrecy and silence."

"we have just met and yet it feels like i have known you for a lifetime."

"you are everything. everything."

"it hurts me, just how much i ache for you."

"i don't know if i can't bring myself to speak it."

"i know that this is not what you want to hear..."

"after everything you've done, i still love you. with all i am."

"it's true."

"i cannot stand you, and yet i also cannot stand to be away from you."

"please...say something."

"i feel your absence in everything that i do alone, in every place i go without you."

"your smile brings me so much joy."

"i'm falling for you."

"i am sorry that you found out this way."

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EXTENSIVE SCAR RELATED PROMPTS 

GENERAL 

[ TOUCH ]  for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars 

[ TOUCHED ]  for receiver to trace one of sender’s scars

[ DISCOVER ]  for sender to see receiver’s scars for the first time 

[ DISCOVERED ]  for receiver to see sender’s scars for the first time 

[ CARESS ]  for sender to kiss one of receiver’s scars 

[ CARESSED ]  for receiver to kiss one of sender’s scars

[ SHOW ]  for sender to purposefully reveal their scars for receiver to see 

[ SHOWN ]  for receiver to purposefully reveal their scars for sender to see 

SCENARIOS

[ MEND ]  for sender to treat receiver’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ MENDED ]  for receiver to treat sender’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ BLUNDER ]  for sender to walk in on receiver in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time

[ BLUNDERED ]  for receiver to walk in on sender in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time 

[ KISS ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals sender’s scars to receiver 

[ KISSED ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals receiver’s scars to sender 

[ BATHE ]  our muses take a shower together and sender looks over receiver’s scars 

[ BATHED ]  our muses take a shower together and receiver looks over sender’s scars. 

WORDS

❝  your scars are nothing to be ashamed of.  ❞

❝  why do you hide your scars?  ❞

❝  i see every mark as something to be proud of,  proof of all i survived.  ❞

❝  can i ask what happened here—  how did you get this one?  ❞

❝  sometimes i get these phantom pains i guess you could say.  little aches and i find them oddly comforting.  because my soul still hurts even if my body is healed.  ❞

❝  i wish i could get rid of my scars.  they’re just reminders of everything i want to forget.  ❞

❝  is it alright if i touch this scar?  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  you can touch it if you want.  doesn’t hurt anymore.  ❞

❝  please don’t touch it.  ❞

❝  you don’t have to tell me how you got it.  i just wanted to see.  ❞

❝  looks worse than it was.  ❞

❝  i want to kill every person responsible for leaving you scarred. ❞

❝  i made sure the people who left marks on me wouldn’t get the chance to do it again.  ❞

❝  woah—  what the hell happened there? ❞

❝  you don’t have to hide them around me.  the scars are just part of who you are.  and i like all of what i see.  ❞

❝  i don’t really like letting people see them.  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  honestly i forget they’re there most of the time.  ❞

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A bunch of different writing prompts MASTERLIST

updated 12.3.22

“Hate to break it to you, but …”

“Ok, this whole thing you’re doing? I’m gonna need you to stop.”

“I can’t help but feel jealous when you turn and smile at anyone else”

“So now what? You’re just gonna chase after them with a flashlight and righteousness?”

“To save you the time and me the breath …”

“Blackmail is more powerful than money. Once you have them with blackmail, you have them forever.” “I just asked you if I could borrow five dollars, I-”

“I can teach you something else if you want”

“Does anyone care what I think?” “I know I don’t!”

“Toss me!” “Toss you?!” “Do it!!”

“Hold my beer.” “This is a Capri-sun.”

“Wow that was so wild. Crazy”

“I hope common sense is the next cool trend”

“You think you can take me?”

“Bring it on.” “Enough with the movie references, can we just fight already?”

“Relax, there is no problem/we have no problems!” *B walks in* “Ok, one problem!”

“How did you even learn how to do this??” “It’s probably best that you don’t know.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” “I guess that would be difficult.”

“You really think you can stop me? Adorable.”

“This is ridiculous, why did you make me carry you on my back?” “Stop complaining, I need a good vantage point!” “You can literally FLY!”

“Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes, *B*!” “Listen, I love a good Taylor Swift reference as much as the next guy, but now is probably not the time-”

“Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until four.”

“Alright, fine. If I can’t get around you, I guess I’ll have to go through you!”

“So, you know how in _______, ___________ _______? That literally makes no sense.” “IT’S 1AM. Go to sleep!”

“For most people it goes, observe, think, speak. For *B* it goes a little differently.”

“This would be a lot easier if you weren’t so hot.”

“I don’t want your help, I want you safe!”

“Who buys 25 packs of balloons?!” “Leave me alone, it’s been a rough day!”

“Can you turn up the heat in here? It’s freezing in here!” “Sure baby, come on over here-” “nOt what I meant!!”

“Keep talking and maybe one day you’ll blurt out something intelligent.”

“I wish I was who you think I am”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” “How?” “That’s not your department.”

“An asteroid could hit Earth right now and I’d still be more upset about this”

“Could you please make an effort with them?” “I don’t care about them, I only care about is you.”

“Why not?” “Because I don’t want to die!” “You can be so boring sometimes why do I even hang out with you?”

“You know that’s never gonna happen, right?” “Just let me have this”

“You’re the Ethan to my Hila.” “You have to stop using modern references I have no idea what any of them mean”

“Rules are meant to be broken.” Actually, that’s not-“ "Come on!!”

“If I get shot, will you have my back?” “…. Well…” “Say yes!!”

“He’s the embodiment of everything wrong with the world. I’m kind of into it”

“Wow that was awful. Truly.” “Thank you.”

“I’d die for you.” “Please live for me instead.”

“I don’t know, it could be worse!” “But it could definitely be a whole lot better too.” “You have a point there.”

“I think I just met the human version of a dubstep remix.”

“You’re a mess. But you’re my mess.”

“If you don’t stop now I’m calling your mom!”

“Every time I see your face I go crazy.” “Crazy in a bad way or crazy in a good way?” “Undecided.”

“Love is like a plant. It has to be watered and nurtured and eventually it’ll grow and become stronger and stronger.” “Can our love be the plant that eats bugs and stuff? That one’s really cool.” “… sure.”

“If they don’t kill you, I will.”

“We’re going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship-” “Please don’t sing the song-” “ZOOMING THROUGH THE SKY!!!”

“I can’t believe you’re scared of spiders, you’re massive.” “THEY’RE SMALL AND UNPREDICTABLE AND RUN REALLY FAST, OK?”

“My therapist won’t be happy when she hears about this.”

“You look awful. You look like someone drove you over, backed up, squashed you under their tyre and did donuts in an abandoned parking lot with your face in the ground. You look like someone crumpled you up and forced you down the garbage disposal. You look like someone played a game of Operation on you and didn’t clean you up afterwards. *pause* You look terrible.” “Yeah, I got that, thanks.”

“It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” “You’re literally bleeding out!” “It’s fine-” “nO it’S NOT!!”

“I just wish you’d asked me first.”

“Poopity scoop.” “… can you please just-” “Poopity scoop. Poopity scoop”

“Can I please tell you-” “No, please don’t.” “… I love you.”

“So fight me, then!”

“Everything is going as planned!” “That’s because you have no plan.” “Exactly!”

“I love you.” “You shouldn’t.” “I know/I don’t care”

“I wish this thing came with an instruction manual.”

“You’re the only drug I need, baby” “That’s sweet but you still have to take your prescription”

“That’s not very professional”

“Argh, I broke a nail!” “Is that really your main concern right now??”

“That can’t be good.”

“Yet another day of oppression and agony. When will it end?” “We’ve been married for a week stop being so dramatic.”

“If anyone else asks me if I’m ok I’m going to go ballistic.”

“This doesn’t align with my morals.” “What morals?” “… fair point.”

“Shut up.” “..I didn’t say anything?” “Shhhh.”

“I just want to throw up and die”

“You make me wish I’d never been born.” “Funny, I was just wishing you’d never been born too!”

“What are you gonna do, sing about it?” “I might!!”

“I can’t keep going. Not like this.”

“What’s that?” “What’s what??” “That thing!!”

“Hey, so, uhm-” “What is it this time?”

“You make me wish I was better, I want to be better. But I don’t know how.”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met.” “Aw, thank you. That means a lot.”

“Did you know that during Prohibition, moonshiners would wear shoes with wooden blocks carved to look like cow hooves under them to leave hoofprints instead of footprints, helping them evade police?” “No, I didn’t, but more importantly, how did you know that?”

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide …” “…*begrudgingly* No escape from reality.”

“Calm down, I don’t see what the big deal is.” “You stabbed me!!”

“What’s you excuse this time?” “I’m a little bit stupid :)”

“If you were a car, you’d be a BMW.” “Why?” “Cuz I want you to Be My Wife !” “…are you trying to propose to me?” “… Please say yes.”

“Oh no. That can’t be right.”

“You’re not allowed to do that!” “Says who?!” “Your mom.” “I can’t believe you called my mom.”

“You’re gonna have to stop narrating everything you’re doing, you’re gonna give us away.” “Sorry.”

“I’ve never wanted anything so much in my entire life.”

“He’s my worst enemy. My nemesis.” “Didn’t you meet him like five minutes ago?” “Yes.”

“This is it. This is my sign!” “… That’s a cereal box.”

“I’ve done my fair share of stupid things in my day, but this is just ridiculous.”

“I hate you. But I hate them more. So I guess my hatred for you can wait.”

“What? I told you it was going to be dinner with my parents.” “Yes but you didn’t tell me your parents were like that!”

“Whether you like it or not, I’m your only hope. So what’s it gonna be?”

“Can you stop it?” “What? I’m just looking at you.” “I know, it’s creepy, stop!”

“I don’t remember that, that doesn’t sound like me.”

“You think you can stop me? That’s so cute.”

“Can you just-” “CaN yOu JuSt-” “Stop!” “StOp!” “One of these days I am going to kill you.”

“I’ve never been this happy before.” “Not even when you had to wait at that burger place so they ended up giving you extra large fries for free that one time?” “Not even then.”

“Uhm, I fell.” “Upwards?”

“I feel like you’re not hearing me; I don’t want more flowers. I just want you here, at home, with me.”

“This is not how I thought tonight would go.” “I know, isn’t it great?!”

“Is it supposed to be able to bend that way?” “No, definitely not, this is bad.”

“How are you able to do that?” “I honestly have no idea.”

“You need me for something, don’t you?” “Oh please, like you don’t need me for something too.”

“Silvia…” “Yes, Mickey?” “How you call your loverboy?” “Come here, loverboy!” “And if he doesn’t answer?” “Oh, loverboy!” “And if he STILL doesn’t answer?” “Yo loverboy, you better listen up when I’m talking to you!-” “No babe, we practiced this”

“I’m not angry, just disappointed.” “For the last time, I didn’t know we only had one doughnut left or I would have asked you!”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” “Do you want to …sing about it?”

“You truly are one of a kind.” “Thank you.” “I didn’t mean that in a good way.”

“I know you think I’m the villain, but I’m not.”

“I just want you to be happy. Whether that’s with or without me.”

“Let’s never speak of this.” “Agreed.”

“You can’t pay to get this kind of entertainment, baby!” “You catching fifteen grapes in a row is not entertainment.” “Says who?!”

“Where are we?!” “What makes you think I’m any less lost than you are?”

“Let’s go back to our place.” “Our place?” “Yeah. If you want it to be.”

“I thought I could trust you.”

“Hey, uhm, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” “Oh, no, don’t tell me you’re gonna go all sappy and confess your love and everything to me now, are you?” “Well now I’m certainly not gonna to do it!!”

“I don’t need your protection, I just need you!”

“This is making me really upset.” “I’m sorry but we don’t really have time for you to be upset about this right now.”

“Ugh, that kid is being so annoying.” “Isn’t that your daughter?” “Yeah, so?”

“I want to speak to the manager, please.” “Dude, this is a frat party, I don’t think they have-” “The manager!!!”

“What are you doing?” “What are you doing?” “Don’t change the subject!”

“Babe, we agreed to only use that code word for emergencies.” “I know, but-” “And a video of a turtle and a duck being best friends is not an emergency, is it?”

“I’m very easily upset and very outwardly aggressive, which is a terrible combination.”

“Wow, I’ve been really annoying today, haven’t I?” “Not any more than usual, sweetie.”

“Hey-” “No!” “Why are you groaning like that?” “No offense, but you’re the last person I wanted to see today.” “What, why?” “Cause I actually wanted to have a good day.”

“If I die on this night, then so be it! You have been a good friend, a trusted-” “You’re just going to a gas station, it’s not-” “Silence!!”

“I want you to stay. I’m asking you to stay.”

“Can you stop yawning, please?” “Sorry, but this is just so boring.” “It’s your daughter’s dance recital!”

“I don’t want to shoot you, but I will if I have to. Step aside.”

“You’re the most poorly written character I’ve ever met.” “What?” “What?”

“I don’t want to die, please don’t let me die!” “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of here alive, I promise.”

“I’m in love with you.” “Wow. I don’t know whether to thank you or give you my condolences, honestly.”

“What happened here?!” “I tried to catch a spider.” “With what, a flamethrower?!”

“This is amazing! How did you know I wanted this?” “What do you mean? I listened to you.” “You what now?”

“Over my dead body!” “Hm, shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Explain yourself!” “…I honestly don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

“What are you doing here?!” “What do you mean? This is my house.” “You were dead two days ago!” “Oh, right, that. Well-”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.” “Would it help if I presented the information by way of dance?” “No but it would be funny”

“Hey, is this a bad time?” “Yeah, actually-” “Ok, great, so-”

“Unless they can hoedown, I’m not interested.”

“I can’t, I’m allergic.” “To water?” “… Yes.”

“Not to be rude but you’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met.” “Look who’s talking!!”

“I hate your guts.” “That makes two of us.”

“Do I know you?” “You will momentarily.”

“I didn’t come this far only to come this far.” (source)

“You can’t just say ‘yo mama!’ as a response to everything!” “Yo mama!” “no!!”

“Aren’t you supposed to help me?” “What do you mean? I am helping!” “You making paper airplanes out of the wrapping paper is not helping.”

“What are you thinking about?” “Wouldn’t you like to know?” “Yes, that’s why I asked dumbass”

“I don’t know how you’re gonna top this. Hopefully you won’t”

“This is gross, and illegal.” “So?” “Just thought I’d mention it.”

“Please don’t be mad”

“Why did you do that?!” “I don’t know!!”

“A good friend wouldn’t let me do this.” “It’s lucky I’m not a good friend, then.” “You’re right about that.”

“You know, you make being your guardian angel very difficult.”

“Every time I look at you I can only think of one thing.” “Oh yeah, what’s that?” “The Boney M 1994 smash hit that inspired an entire generation-” “Oh no” “Ra-Ra-Rasputin!!!!-” “PLEASE STOP”

“Don’t you think I’d love you back if I could?!”

“I’d rather eat a whole bag of pecans than spend another minute with you.” “…” “And I’m allergic to pecans.” “Yeah I got that.”

“Grief is the price we pay for love. Ask yourself if it’s worth it.”

“Get me out of here, now!” “What’s in it for me?” “Your head.” “… Alright.”

“I can’t do this anymore.” “You don’t have a choice.”

“I just want to make sure you’re ok.” “That’s very sweet of you but please stop flashing that flashlight into my eye every two seconds.”

“You want to what now?” “Open a bakery.” “That’s weird, I never saw you as the bakery type.” “Why not?” “Well for starters you’ve killed fifty people over the last two days.”

“I’m going to make you go first.” “Of course you are.”

“This makes no sense.” “Shut up.”

“I’d rather be stuck in a time-loop playing Monopoly forever than do that again.”

“Don’t take it personal, they always argue with people they like.” “I do not!”

“It’s of elvish make!” “Look, I don’t care if Elvis made it-” “… I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

“Look upon me and fear!” “You’re 5'2” I could stomp you to death with one foot.“

"I’ve never used this before.” “It’ll be fine, just don’t- Don’t do that.”

“Can you cook me some-” “No.” “You didn’t even hear what I wanted you to make!” “Doesn’t matter. I’m never going into that kitchen ever again.” “What happened in there the last time?” “Horrors. Horrors you can’t imagine.”

“Careful!” “I’m always careful.” “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s just personal preference.” “Whether or not to kill someone is not personal preference!”

“I wish you’d stop doing that.” “And I wish you’d stop being so annoying. Guess neither of us are getting what we want anytime soon, huh?”

“I hate you.” “I hate you too.” “… So, want to be friends?” “Sure.”

“I can’t believe you actually spent your money on this.” “I know, right?! You can’t put a price on this thing, baby!” “That’s.. that’s not what I meant.”

“Look, it’s obvious we won’t come to an agreement on this.” “Right.” “That leaves us only one choice, doesn’t it?” “Yes.” “Fight to the death-” “-Dance off.” “…”

“What would make you think I actually cared about you?” “Oh, please. You and I know both know the truth. You’re just too much of a coward to admit it.”

“Hey, are you listening to me?” “Sorry it’s just really hard to focus when you look like that”

“This is… interesting.” “No, this is wrong! This is vile, it’s disgusting!” “… Interesting.”

“For the hundredth time, constructive criticism about your cooking is not a personal attack-” “Then why did you say it in that tone?!”

“Don’t make me choose. Please don’t make me choose.”

“Well, they’re certainly sprightly, aren’t they?” “I don’t know what that means but yeah it sounds right.”

“Why do you always think the worst of people?” “Just saving time.”

“I just want you to push me up against the wall and shake me real good!” “Can this please wait we’re at Costco”

“Do you think they’d christen the baby with a squirt gun if we asked?” “… Why would we ask them about that?” “Do you think they would or no?”

“You wanna know what I think?” “No, but you’re probably going to tell me anyway.”

“I love you.” “Yikes, let’s not get into that right now.”

“Don’t talk to me!” “Please it was just a game of Monopoly-” “Silence!!”

“To save you the time and me the breath,”

“I know who you are.” “Oh, so you’ve heard of me?” “Your face is everywhere it’s kind of hard to ignore.” “Right.”

“Ye shall not pass!” “Please I just really need to pee!”

“I can’t believe they’re gone…” “Good riddance if you ask me!” “NOT at thE FUNERAL!”

“Don’t worry, I put the ‘fun’ in 'funeral’!” “I don’t want to find out what that’s supposed to mean.” “Oh, don’t worry, you will!”

“Look what you did!!” “You’re saying that like it wasn’t the point?”

“Every moment with you is a living nightmare.” “I’m glad.”

“Everyone has a weakness. Yours seems to be that you think you don’t have one.”

“There is a darkness deep within me… No matter my efforts it never ceases to claw at my heart, filling me with dread and despair day and night as I sleep and wake in a never ending cycle of doom and disaster, knowing I shall never be set free from the traps of time and torture within me..” “… Are you ok dude?”

“May I presume that you are, indeed, an idiot?” “Yes, you may.”

“I have to talk to you.” “Ok.” “And you need to actually listen.” “Oh..”

“Why on earth do you think I’m into you??” “You always use that sweet nickname for me, remember?” “'Stupid moron’ is not a sweet nickname!!”

“Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna see me.” “Someone is definitely going to see you.” “Why?” “Look at yourself!”

“Why are you so heinously incompetent?” “Can you please calm down, it’s only Monday morning.”

“Why are you smiling? I’m not dead yet, you know.”

“Hey babe, can you let me in? I forgot my keys.” “What’s the password?” “Can we not do this again we’ve lived together for five years-” “The PASSWORD!!!”

“Life is like a game of Monopoly, sweetheart. Equally chaotic and confusing with or without a plan.”

“I’m sorry I can’t go, I avoid any social situations at all costs.” “It’s our wedding-”

“Why are you so annoying?” “Why are you so mad about it?”

“Here are my final thoughts: You are stupid and this plan was dumb.” “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry, I tried, I really did… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Please go away.” “We’re handcuffed together, how am I supposed to-”

“I love you with every fiber of my being.” “You’re a ghost so that really isn’t saying much sweetie.”

“Wait, you like me?” “Yeah, isn’t it obvious?” “You sure have a funny way of showing it!”

“I hate you!” “Well now we at least have one thing in common.”

“Listen, if ABBA could come together after both of their divorces and make more music together afterward, you can do this!” “Well after that passionate speech I guess I have no choice.”

“Sure, he’s handsome, but can he cook pecan pie without a recipe?” “Why would that matter?” “Answer the question!”

“You can disagree all you want but that doesn’t make me any less right.”

“You can’t make fun of me.” “Says who?” “Your ugly face, that’s who!”

“This has ‘This Will End Badly’ written all over it. Ready to go?”

“What happened in here?” “See, you ask me that but I don’t really know where to start-”

“Stop always asking me questions you know I don’t know the answer to.”

“I just wish things would make sense for a change.” “I wouldn’t count on it.”

“That’s *name*, otherwise known around these parts as the big dipshit.” “Oh, nice.”

“I’m not qualified to do this, but it’s never stopped me before, so I guess here goes nothing!”

“Oh, trust me, I can dance!” “Is that you or the tequila talking?”

“I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, but this was definitely not it.”

“What was that noise?” “What noise?”

“Gimme, gimmie, gimme a… serotonin.” “Are you ok?”

“Hi, nice to meet you. Prepare to be killed.”

“Where are we??” “Gee, I’m so glad you asked. Let me just activate my google maps implant and-”

“Hey, do you remember that time when-” “No. No, I do not. No further questions, please.”

“Why are you so upset all of the sudden?” “You killed my dad!” “Right, that.”

“I love you.” “Are we playing a game of telephone I don’t know about? What’s going on?”

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not in love with them! Why would you think that?” “Well for one thing you haven’t been able to close their facebook page from your browser in five weeks, so-”

“I just need someone to tell me they’re glad I’m alive.” “I am. So unbelievably glad, more than you could ever imagine.”

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” “Because I’m mad at you.” “Why?” “Need I remind you–”

“You’re everything I’ve ever dreamt of.” “So you’ve only ever had nightmares, huh?” “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it time for you to go to bed?” “Isn’t it time for you to mind your business??” “… Ok. Bed, now.”

“Are you drunk?” “Nooo, whyyy?” “Because you just told me you want to carry me around like a sloth baby.” “Ooooh my little sloth babyyyy!”

“Hon, it’s 4 am, why are you up?” “I… I just have to organize this bookcase…” “*sigh* ok, which is it, by height or color?”

“What did you say?” “WhAt DiD yOu SaY?” “STOP!”

“AHH!!” “What?? What is it?” “Why can you bend like that?!”

“I love you.” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW- Oh, wait, hold on-”

“That’s interesting.” “… You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” “Not a clue.”

You come here often?“ "I- … We both live here.”

“I’m sorry but looking like that has to be a punishable offense.”

“Are you lying?” “Why would I lie?” “Because we’re sworn enemies and hate each other’s guts?” “Oh, right, that. Forgot”

“What are you doing??” “Bold of you to assume I’d have an answer to that question.”

“… Are you singing to yourself?” “Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn’t notice.” “No, please, keep singing. It’s nice.”

“Are you okay?” “No. But I will be, with time. I hope”

“Should we do something about this??” “… Or we could just do nothing?” “Yeah let’s do that.”

“How was the cult meeting?” “For the last time, family dinner is not-

"If you so much as look in their direction again, I will kill you, is that clear?”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.”

“How long have you been having these nightmares?” “For months… I just need them to stop. I’ll do anything to make them stop.” “Anything?” “Anything.”

“I haven’t seen you since you blacked out and threw up in my shoes at that party last year.” “… So is that a ‘no’ to the date, or…?”

“Bro you must have the most selective hearing known to man.” “… Sorry, did you say something?” “AAARRRGH!!”

“I miss you. Please come home. Please.”

“He’s got a stick of something stuck up somewhere is you know what I mean.” “Nice.”

“I love you more than I love Ewan McGregor.” “Wow, babe, do you really mean that?” “…. yes.”

“Bro I’m pissed, you really can’t have s#!t in Detroit.” “…I gotta be honest, half the time I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“You really should get a grip.” “You’re one to talk!”

“Why did you do that?!” “I was just trying to be cool.” “Well, it did not work.”

“I gotta tell you, I don’t like our odds on this one.” “Since when has that ever stopped us?” “Just thought I’d mention it.”

“So, about last night…”

“How do you feel?” “Torn apart.”

“And you can be sure of this: I will never cry over it. Never.”

“This isn’t a competition, you know.” “Spoken like a true loser.”

“Hey, it’s me, hope you’re doing well.” “My dog died last night.” “Aw. Anyway-”

“I’m sorry, ok? Here, I brought cookies!” “You killed five people.” “Not a raisin person I see. Noted.”

“Where’s the kid??” “The what?” “You remember that you were supposed to pick them up today, right?” “… I gotta go real quick-” “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

“I can’t do it, I can’t…” “You don’t have a choice.”

“And whatever you do, don’t-” “Don’t what?” “… Do that.”

“I haven’t wanted anyone this bad in a long time.” “I hate that I have to ask this, but do you mean that in a romantic or violent way?” “Both.”

“How do you stay so good, even through all of this?”

“I need you to stay alive… please… I don’t know how to live without you.”

“I’m really glad you feel that you can be honest with me.” “Well you drugged me so I didn’t really have a choice-” “Shh. I really love the growth our relationship is going through.”

“Are you ok? And don’t lie to me.”

“Taken your meds today?” “Yeah, why do you ask?” “No reason.”

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” “Please don’t, this car’s new-”

“I think I’m ok now…” “You’re not.” “Why do you care, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to hate me?” “Be quiet. Lie still.”

“Ok bestie, I see what you’re saying.” “Please stop talking like that.”

“Ok, fine, it’s on. You. Me. Karaoke at eight.” “What kind of threat is that??” “You’ll see.”

“Did you just kick that guy in the nuts for no reason??” “Yeah, that’s feminism, baby!” “No, no, it’s really not-”

“Inhumane. Disgusting. I can’t believe you’d do something like that.” “Give me a break-” “Say hello to Geoffrey RIGHT NOW.” “He’s a dog, why do I have to-” “SAY IT!” “…. hello, Geoffrey.”

“Citation needed, please.”

“I don’t like the cut of their jib.” “Do you have to talk like that?” “Talk like what?” “Never mind.”

“We shouldn’t do this, it’s not right.” “Ok Mr. Geneva Conventions.”

“Now, kneel before me. Kneel!”

“Hey, come here a sec.” “Are you going to serenade me about how I’m the love of your life and how your universe would have no light if I weren’t in it?” “No?” “Then no.”

“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” “I didn’t want it like this! Not like this…”

“I know it’s not much, but, maybe I could hold you, just for a little while.”

“If you want even the slightest chance of surviving this, you have to do exactly as I say, got it?”

“If only one of us is can make it out of here alive… it’s gonna be me.”

“Honey, what’s going on? Why are you crying?” “*sniffs* What if they don’t like the wrapping paper on the gift?” “They will, honey, don’t worry. Go back to sleep.” “Are you sure?” “One hundred percent. Trust me.” “Okay.”

“This is outrageous!” “Sweetheart, you have to calm down.”

“Back then I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse. But then I met them, and I thought, uh oh.” “And we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“How was your day?” “Nice. Why do you ask?” “Because I wanted to make sure you had a nice last day before I kill you”

“Where are the others?” “You mean the scum you call friends?” “Yes, now where are they?”

“You’re an idiot.” “Takes one to know one.”

“Why did you do that?? I got what you were saying, I didn’t need a demonstration!”

“Listen, we don’t want any trouble.” “Well I guess that’s too bad, cuz I do.”

“What are you laughing at?- Actually, I don’t wanna know.”

“If only one of us is can make it out of here alive… it’s gonna be me.”

“Honey, what’s going on? Why are you crying?” “*sniffs* What if they don’t like the wrapping paper on the gift?” “They will, honey, don’t worry. Go back to sleep.” “Are you sure?” “One hundred percent. Trust me.” “Okay.”

“This is outrageous!” “Sweetheart, you have to calm down.”

“Back then I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse. But then I met them, and I thought, uh oh.” “And we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“How was your day?” “Nice. Why do you ask?” “Because I wanted to make sure you had a nice last day before I kill you”

“Where are the others?” “You mean the scum you call friends?” “Yes, now where are they?”

“You’re an idiot.” “Takes one to know one.”

“Why did you do that?? I got what you were saying, I didn’t need a demonstration!”

“Listen, we don’t want any trouble.” “Well I guess that’s too bad, cuz I do.”

“What are you laughing at?- Actually, I don’t wanna know.”

“Happy birthday!” “My birthday was a month ago.” “Yikes.”

“So what are you doing to celebrate this year?” “The same thing I always do.” “Wallow in loneliness and self-loathing?” “Yup.”

“Tomorrow would’ve been their twenty-first birthday.” “Would have been?” “Yes. As in I’m going to kill them so they won’t live to see it.”

“I never thought I’d live to see this day.” “I’m so glad you have.” “Me too.”

“Happy birthday.” “How’d you know it’s my birthday?” “Just a lucky guess. Anyway, here’s your ID.” “Where did you get that??”

“I hope you like it, baby.” “Aw, this is so sweet, you shouldn’t have-” “… Well?” “Sweetie, what is that?”

“I know you usually hate celebrating your birthday, so I thought I’d make it a little bit extra special.” “By kidnapping me?” “Now you’re being a little dramatic.”

“Happy birthday!” “Didn’t we celebrate my birthday last year?” “Birthdays are kind of an annual thing.” “Oh.”

“I just want this day to go by in silence, ok?” “Sure, whatever you want.” “Thank you.”

“Do you know what kind of cake they’d like?” “How am I supposed to know that? Cake-preference isn’t really a common topic of conversation on the battlefield.”

“I need a reason to stay.” “I can’t give you any. Not any good ones, anyway.” “A bad one will do.”

“Want to know why everyone hates you? It’s because you are so obviously the envy of everyone in this room and yet totally unaware of it. It’s infuriating.”

“Remember that summer by the cabin when we stole your grandad’s boat and got stuck in the middle of the lake?” “I remember you being the reason we got stuck because you dropped one of the oars in the water.”

“Come, dance with me.”

“I don’t regret a single second I’ve spent with you.”

“You make me miserable, you know that?” “Then how come you’re smiling?”

“Don’t open your eyes yet!”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” “Listen, normally I’d let you do what you want, but when that thing involves holding a knife to my face, I feel like I should get to have some say.”

“Now, I’m not saying if I saw them in a burning building I would leave them in there, but-”

“Why does every outing with you have to turn into some sort of ethical dilemma?” “More fun that way.”

“So, yeah, anyway. Where was I?” “You’d just killed your brother with a teacup.” “Right. So, he comes back to life-”

“Boy, have I got news for you!”

“According to my sources, that’s a load of bullshit.” “What sources?” “How about my common sense?”

“Never you mind!”

“I’m not mad, she had to do what she had to do.” “She kidnapped your mom!” “I’m just saying,”

“I’m not so sure about this…” “That’s why you’re not the one in charge!”

“Suck it up buttercup, we’ve got work to do.”

“That’s interesting, but have you considered this…” “… what?” “Therapy?”

“I’d like to suggest a heart-to-heart conversation about this, but considering you don’t have one, that’d be difficult.” “Quite.”

“What happened here?” “I-” “No, stop, I don’t want to know.”

“You’re the eager kind, I see.” “No, just impatient.”

“I had no time to think, so I made a judgment call. But, as I should have known from previous experience, I have very poor judgment.”

“Well, what if you-” “No.” “What?” “I don’t want advice, I just want to complain.” “All right. Go off then, I guess.”

“I’m so single even my mom won’t return my calls.” “Your mom is dead, sweetie.” “I know, but still.”

“Just get it done; it doesn’t much matter how.” “… Machete?” “Yes.” “Gun?” “Yes.” “Lazer gun?” “Yes.” “Rabid monkey?” “Yes.” “Hm… what about a voice-activated fighting drone that shoots lemon juice into people’s eyes-” “JUST GET IT DONE!”

“How was your day?” “Oh, you know, the usual.” “I doubt there’s much ‘usual’ about your usual day.” “I won’t fight you on that one.”

“Well, what do you think?” “He’s nice.” “And?” “And I hate him with every fiber of my being.” “Why am I not surprised.”

“What are you doing?” “Waiting for inspiration to strike.” “How’s it going so far?” “Not good.”

“Crap, what do we do?!” “I don’t know! I majored in physics not in fighting big ugly monsters!” “Look, I don’t think calling it ugly is helping!”

“If nothing’s killed me so far, I doubt this will.” “One can only hope.”

“If we lose this-” “It’s just a game of Capture the Flag honey, it’s not that serious-” “If we lose this, I’m divorcing you.”

“What do you want from me?” “You’ll see soon enough.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” “Can you ask me? Yes. Will I do it?” “… you haven’t even heard what I was going to ask-” “No.”

“Never underestimate the power of a well-timed prank, young padawan.” “See, this is why I never introduce you to people.”

“Not to sound desperate, but, we’re desperate.”

“Don’t ever ask me about that again, is that clear?”

“Hear that?” “Hear what?”

“There you are! I’ve missed you!” “What- What’s going on?”

“Am I supposed to know who you are?”

“I’m bored, wanna do something?” “Sure, what do you want to-” “Bank robbery.” “…” “…” “Should I be concerned?”

“Please, tell me what’s wrong.” “*sigh* Lately, I don’t know, I guess I just don’t feel seen.” “Well, I am blind, darling.” “Yes, of course, sorry. My bad.”

“I love you.” “I don’t believe that.” “Doesn’t change the fact that I do.”

“What’s it going to take to convince you?”

“I’m in love with you.” “… What in the world for?”

“I would prefer death to this.” “I really wish you’d stop talking like that.”

“Why is your face purple?”

“I haven’t felt like this in a long time.”

“But I’ve realized that I’ll never be enough for you. And as much as it hurts me to say it, I’ve realized that you’ll never be enough for me, either.”

“I’m so nervous.” “It’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“I was fine on my own, and then you came waltzing in with your long eyelashes and beautiful smile, and now look at me, I’m a mess of epic proportions. And it’s all your fault.”

“Something tells me I’m going to regret this.”

“This will be a lot easier for the both of us if you don’t fight.”

“Fighting is a lot more intimate than undressing, don’t you think?”

“What, you’re not hungry?” “Not hungry enough to eat whatever that is.”

“Why do you have to be so difficult? Sit still!”

“Get out of the way kid, this is none of your business.” “Oh no you don’t. If anyone’s going to kill her, it’s gonna be me.”

“This is getting ugly. We have to leave, now.”

“Don’t you realize that I’m only trying to protect you?”

“I want to stay with you.” “You know I’d never let you do that.” “Why?!” “Why do you think?!”

“Wait, were you worried about me?” “Don’t flatter yourself, I just didn’t want to have to deal with your corpse.”

“Look, I’m sorry I burned your house down and eradicated your entire family, but I think it’s time for you to stop holding a grudge.”

“Don’t give me that. You meant what you said and you know it.”

“All of that to say… I hate you and I wish you were dead.”

“Man, what’s up with that guy?” “He’s just like that. You get used to it. I hope.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?” “I will literally set you on fire right now.”

“Don’t you think you should reconsider your copious intake of *insert food/drink*?” “Don’t you think you should shut your mouth?”

“This seems like a needlessly complicated way to do this.” “Well I’m in charge so if you have any better suggestions you’re free to keep them to yourself.”

“You want to tell me what’s going on here?” “No, no. Definitely not.”

“Will you stop that?” “Stop what? I wasn’t doing anything!” “I know. Just thought I’d save us the time for when you eventually do something.”

“I haven’t let a man speak to me that way since 2005, and I certainly am not about to now.”

“I promise you’ll be okay.” “What about you?” “Don’t worry about me. Just get out and don’t look back.” “But-” “Promise me.”

“We’re gonna need a whole lot of glitter glue to get out of this one, ladies.”

“That’s my girl.”

“You’re crazy!” “Oh, honey, rest assured, you don’t even know the half of it.”

“How can you be so calm right now?!” “Worrying won’t change anything. You need to calm down.” “Don’t tell me to calm down! You just blew that guy’s head off!!”

“Why are you wearing that thing?” “What thing?” “For goodness sake- YOU’RE WEARING A TRAFFIC CONE ON YOUR HEAD!”

“Don’t you realize how much is at stake?” “You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“That’s embarrassing.”

“Look, I’m not any more thrilled about this than you are, but can we pretend to like each other for one night?” “All right, fine. But just know that I’ll be wanting to throw up the whole time.” “Likewise.”

“Wait, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” “That kind of depends on what you think I’m saying. But, yeah, sure.”

“What’s wrong with your face?” “What do you mean?” “Oh, wait- You always look like that? Yikes.”

“I would strongly encourage you not to do that.” “Why?” “You don’t want to know.”

“Come with me, please.”

“What’s that smell?”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” “Well, your mom never complained.”

“Just admit defeat, you’re completely powerless.” “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m defeated just yet.”

“I’m here to do a job. Feelings have nothing to do with it.” “How naïve. Feelings have everything to do with it.”

“So how do you two know each other?” “We’re married.” “Oh!”

“How dare you speak to me that way?”

“I can’t go in there! Are you crazy?” “And why on earth not?” “Look how I’m dressed!” “Darling, you could wear a potato sack and still be the marvel in any room. Now let’s go show them, shall we?”

“Trust me, you’re doing great, just keep going.” “I’m so scared, I can’t do this!!” “Yes, you can. Trust me, you’re almost there!”

“I’m quite proud of you.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” “Well you’ll be dead in about two minutes if you don’t, but it’s up to you.”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t see the signs… But then again I’m dyslexic, so-”

“Man, not this guy again…” “What?” “I’ve killed that guy five times already but he keeps coming back, it’s really starting to get on my nerves… Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

“You’re not scared of me. I like that.”

“What’s going on??” “Be quiet.” “Why?” “I’m grieving.” “Grieving what?” “My dignity.”

“Well I might not be the smartest guy around, but even a broken clock is right once a day!” “No, that’s… That’s not…”

“Do you see now why everyone hates you?” “Yes, isn’t it marvelous!”

“Are you ok?” “Please don’t ask me that.”

“Where are you going?” “I don’t know yet. But I’ll let you know when I get there.”

“Just because I’m not allowed to do it doesn’t mean I can’t do it. There’s a difference!”

“Enough talking. You came here to play, didn’t you? So, let’s play.”

“He’s dangerous.” “How? He seems nice.” “Exactly; he’s charming. And charm is a man’s most effective weapon.”

“Stop talking, please. Your voice is shrill and piercing and thoroughly unpleasant.” “A simple ‘shut up’ would suffice, you know.”

“I’m having murder thoughts. Come back later.”

“I can’t do it!” “Just shoot your shot, dude. One day they’ll be dead and so will you.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you.” “Don’t sweat it, I could’ve just as easily have hurt you.” “Well, it’s cute that you think that.”

“May I thunder victoriously against him in the battle for your heart, my sweetest one.”

“What’s going on?!” “Just do as I say and ask questions later!”

“All right, that’s it! Your bloodline ends here!”

“This doesn’t look very promising, does it?” “In my humble opinion? No.”

“Is that mistletoe I see?” “I’m pretty sure that’s poison ivy, actually.” “Well, I’m not picky.”

“Am I crazy, or-” “Yes.” “… You didn’t even hear what I-” “Don’t need to.”

“I’ve loved you from the first moment I ever laid eyes on you.” “Wasn’t that at that party when I was hurling my guts out into the toilet?” “Okay so maybe not the very first moment,”

“Hate you.” “Hate you too. Have a nice day, sweetie.” “You too, babe. See you after work.”

“You followed a recipe this time, right?”

“Are we really about to have this discussion again?” “Yes, and we will keep having it until you realize that I’m right and you’re wrong!”

“How did you end up way out here?”

“Let me tell you something.” “Hm?” “If anyone were ever to write a biography about you, it’d be called The Life of a Dumbass. And situations like this are the exact reason why!”

“Why?” “I don’t know why, and I don’t care why!”

“I’ll give you a word of advice: never wear two pairs of socks.”

“I learned at seventeen why you should never ever wear two pairs of socks.”

“I’m a little kerfuffled.”

“That’s a good example of childhood trauma she hasn’t recovered from.”

“Maybe the oldies are onto something with this.”

“I’m forever in your debt, my friend.” “Just buy me a burger and we’ll call it even, okay?”

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think you may be overthinking this.”

“I just want to be with someone who makes me want to live. Someone who makes me glad I’m alive, who’ll make me see the beauty of it. Right now, all I can see is the pain. I want to smile again.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me.” “Only you would be stupid enough to think that.”

“I know you’re a little behind the times, but that’s extreme even for you.”

“It’s scary.” “All of life is scary, sweetheart. But you can’t give up.”

“He’s a complete and utter grump and she’s a precious ray of sunshine. It’s meant to be.”

“Whew, glad that’s over!”

“Everyone’s going to see straight through this.” “No way, I paid top dollar for this!” “Where, the dollar store?!”

“I’m really nervous.” “Me too.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

“I had a really good time tonight.”

“You look gorgeous. As always.”

“Look, kid, this isn’t personal. It’s just business.” “You stole my grandfather’s ashes!” “Again, nothing personal.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen such a terrible bowler in my entire life.” “Shut up!”

“But just so you know, I intend on being as confusing and annoying as possible the entire time.”

“In terms of sense, there is none detected.”

“I can fix this, I can fix this!” “How?!” “I don’t know, but I can!!”

“Whatever you decide, whether I agree with your decision or not, I’ll support you.”

“Have you seen my bee-jar?” “Your what-now?” “My jar full of bees. Thought that’d be pretty self-explanatory.” “Yeah, I got that part,”

“Being a rational person, I’d strongly advise you against doing this. But I’m also a curious person, so by all means, go ahead.”

“Down, boy.”

“I feel conflicted.” “Why?”

“You obviously aren’t able to take care of yourself right now, so, just for now, I’m going to do it for you. But just know I’m not happy about it.”

“Maybe, just maybe, this was a bad idea.” “You think?!”

“I’ve done a lot of stupid things, but that was by far the stupidest.”

“This is not an insult, just an observation,”

“Oh no! … Anyway.”

“Just seems like everyone’s coming after me these days.” “Wonder why.”

“Room’s a mess, just the way you like it.”

"Don't be fooled, what you're witnessing is a crime."

"Just you wait."

"Deep breaths, come on. Deep breaths."

"This stuff is intoxicating." "Thanks!" "As in poisonous." "Oh."

"What do you mean 'why am I laughing'?!"

"Don't ever say I never do anything for you."

"You thought I wouldn't notice, huh?" "Shut up."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What's so funny?"

"Is that a fact or are you just guessing?" "Do you even have to ask?"

"Look what I found!" "Oh, wonderful honey, wonderful, let me see. What is that...? IS THAT A SNAKE?!"

"Why are you doing that?" "I'm a little forgetful these days, so I need these notes to remind me of things." "You won't forget me, right?" "Oh, never! And if it ever seems like I have, I'm just playing a game, so you just play along, ok?" "Ok!"

"Look at my dress!" "Spectacular. Stunning. Slay."

"Have you seen my glasses?" "You mean the ones on the top of your head?"

"I picked you these flowers." "Daisies! My favorite!"

"I'll tell you, the world's a lot different now from when I was your age." "How?"

"Tell me a story!" "I think you've heard all of my stories, honey... Well, except one."

"I'm not interested in that stuff anymore, grandma/grandpa." "Pity me, I guess I missed the newsletter in which that announcement was made!"

"Did you really make these?" "Yes, I did." "Can you show me how?"

"Why are you walking like that?" "I put my leg on the wrong way this morning, I think!"

"I will not accept defeat. You either win, or you die." "All right, calm down, dude."

"Over my dead body."

"Why are you doing that?" "I'll give you a hint: Revenge."

"You have to leave. Now!"

"This is without a doubt going to have international implications." "It's just pie, honey-" "Just pie?!"

"Don't you think they're a little young for this?"

"Why did you do this to me?"

"You shouldn't be here!" "Neither should you!"

"Let's have a glass of milk and calmly discuss this like adults."

"Together?" "Together."

"Watch this." "Do I have to?"

"Like braids in short hair, I too am barely holding it together."

"I'm burnt out." "We just started!"

"I actually hold a world record." "Oh, cool! In what?" "Dumbassery."

"What's that smell?"

"How's that fair?"

"When I wake up I'm afraid of the idea of facing the day." "I'm sorry to ask this, but, are you... are you quoting Adele?"

"Take no pity, take no prisoners."

"If I'd known I'd have brought some flowers!"

"Meet me at the hotel room." "Ok, Mr. Pitbull."

"He's an evil prick." "Isn't he-" "My husband? Yes."

"I've come to steal and plunder, fellas."

"Smile!"

"As they say, sharing is caring." "I don't think it applies in this situation."

"Play me something." "I haven't played in so long, I don't know..." "Please."

"If I'm going down-" "I'm going with you. I know, I know."

"I'll do whatever's necessary." "I hope so. For your sake. And for the sake of your loved ones."

"How's that even possible??" "We don't know."

"It's always excuses with you!"

"Out of all the people I hate, I hate you the most." "Aw, you really mean that?"

"I haven't been this stressed since I led the conga-line at Uncle Larry's wedding."

"You know... maybe I'm the problem." "You think?!"

"Now what in the fresh-" "My mother's here!" "-homemade bread is going on here? Roberta! Good to see you."

"It is as I suspected, he's a moron."

"Uh oh." "What do you mean 'uh oh'?!"

"Why are you shaking?"

"You're making it really hard for me to play nice right now."

"Tomorrow, he dies."

"Look at this plant!!"

"I'm hearing a lot of accusations and not seeing a whole lot of evidence!" "The dishes are right there!" "... Touché."

"It's time to get the old noggin' joggin', fellas."

"You're coming home with me."

"Please go buy some furniture, I'm begging, this is so sad."

"I suggest you get my name out of your mouth with quickness and haste, honey."

"He just told me I'm Corbin Bleu-ing it, what does that mean?" "I'm so sorry, he means to say that you're pushing it." "... To the limit?" "...Yeah."

"Does he always talk using movie references, or...?" "For my own sanity's sake, I'd prefer not to answer that."

"It's crime time, boys!"

"We're on the same page here." "Yeah, in different books!"

"It's time for you to step up."

"I'll take it from here."

"I'm trying my hardest not to be creepy here." "Yeah, well, try harder."

"Poor baby."

"How you like me now?"

"For once I'm going to need you to work with me instead of against me." "What's in it for me?"

"Come again?"

"You heard what I said."

"Can I ask you for some advice?" "Sure, but there's no quality guarantee." "Obviously."

"Why is she doing that?"

"I fear this is a real threat to my mental stability." "What mental stability?"

"Given the choice of failing on the cautious side and failing on the risky side, I've found the best place to land is in the middle."

"Be forewarned: I'm about to become ten times more insufferable."

"Since when do you knit?" "Since when did I give you permission to be all up in my business? Exactly. So shut up."

"Get in here, right now!"

"And I've been clear on that since the beginning."

"Give me the keys!"

"There's no way, there's just no way."

"Since when?"

"Is this what love is supposed to feel like?"

"I'm not going to let how I look, dictate the way I live my life."

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up." "It's cuz you're always on that phone!"

"I hate you." "Marry me."

"Life is a highway, and I'm always stuck in traffic."

"Bestie I will tear you to shreds."

"Your mother didn't carry you for nine months for you to behave like this." "You don't know my mom at all, do you?"

"Great, so out of two hundred-and-sixteen passengers there's not a single pilot/captain/doctor on board, but we've got five marine biologists, two graphic designers, ten chefs, one Banksy impersonator, and four composers. Fantastic. We're all gonna die." "Anyone here a funeral directory by any chance?"

"Why would you lie about something like that?"

"Stop being so dramatic." "There's a bone sticking out of my arm!" "And?"

"¿Como es?" "I don't speak french, sorry." "*visible confusion*"

"Boo, you psychopath."

"Make no mistake, vengeance will be ours." "Grandma-"

"I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you come across as very villainous."

"Do I regret it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Without a doubt."

"You've got a real attitude problem, kid." "That's just his personality, sir."

"This isn't a competition, dude." "You're right, it's not even close!" "That's not what I meant."

"I want to go home..." "I know, I know. We will, soon, okay?"

"I've decided to be nice." "... Why?"

"Could you please shut up and stop being so annoying?" "Sorry, you're gonna have to pick one, I can't do both."

"Do you recognize this?" "Where did you find that?"

"Here, you're gonna need this." "Is that a machine gun? Who brings a machine gun to lunch??"

"And when I rule the world,-" "Don't you mean 'if'?" "... As I was saying, when I rule the world,"

"Why is no one dead?"

"Riveting."

"Fascinating."

"I hate that I can't tell whether you're joking or not."

"Why are you doing that? This is not a thumbs-up situation."

"You better watch your back!"

"This is feminism, baby." "It's really not..."

"Who still asks for permission?"

"Lighten up, it's tradition!"

"You hungry?" "Famished."

"That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve been listening to myself speak for twenty years."

"Let’s just say we have unfinished business."

"You're in my way. Move."

"Don't worry, it'll all make sense later." "I sincerely doubt that."

"Do you have to wear that?"

"You drugged them?!" "Yeah, what's the problem?"

"Are you always this jittery?"

"What are you doing?" "Tidying." "...Why?"

"Listen here, ugly."

"Let me throw up real quick-"

"Since when are you part of the group?" "Since I can beat up all your asses, that's when." "...I'll give you that."

"Any questions?" "Several. First of,"

"Pay attention, this is important."

"I get the feeling that you don't like me very much." "I don't."

"This feels illegal." "It's not, I checked." "That doesn't make me feel better."

"Are you two fighting again?!"

"On the bright side, it can't get any worse." "I strongly doubt that."

"You can keep telling yourself that, but it won't change what happened."

"And who's going to pay for this?"

"Coming from you, that doesn't really mean much."

Smut prompts II

" Do it slowly..."

" I know what you like .

"You know exactly what I want ."

"Ready for me ?/ it ? "

"I feel so sensitive ...ah - !"

" Faster... please ..."

" Bedroom . Now ."

" How can I resist you when you look like that ?

" I wore it just for you ~"

" No...let's continue. "

"I'm not letting you sleep tonight. "

" You deserve to be loved. Every inch of your body deserves to be loved."

" I'd rather explore you "

"mmh..it's so tempting..."

"You like it don't you ? "

" Bring what you wore last time "

" Damnit! Now I'm excited again ."

" Stop . You're turning me on."

" Does that turn you on ?"

" I want you so bad . I can't hold back anymore"

" You're not allowed to make a sound."

" Time for your punishment , kitty "

"You can do all sort of things to me. "

" Don't stop . Did I tell you to stop ?"

" I - I ...don't think I can hold back anymore..."

" I'll be gentle . I promise. "

" Haha, You're so cute when you're nervous ."

" I want to hear you, baby".

" I bought this just for you ~"

" Should I take off your shirt ?"

" I'm literally holding back from ripping that dress off your body "

" You're so hot , baby "

" Are you trying to seduce me ?"

" I miss the feel of your body against mine. "

" Don't tempt me . I'm already finding it hard to hold back. "

---

50 INTERESTING WAYS TO BEGIN A STORY.

I am well aware of the turmoil of finding a gripping story beginning. God the pain! So I present to you prompts to help y'all hook the readers !

The arrival of a letter or email or package. ( Whether the contents is good / bad depends on you )

The text of a letter / email/ diary. ( You might wanna dive right into what it says and let the reader learn about the character reading )

An invitation to join a club / attend a party / to do something shocking.

A death of a character.

The main character is in a frustrating situation. ( This can quickly help readers to empathize right away )

A main character is in an awkward situation.

An escape from a boring meeting or prison or someplace unwanted .

Someone discovers a dead body.

A funeral is held for someone in the family / the community.

The beginning or the middle of a disaster. ( a bombing , a plane crash, an Apocalypse.? Anything really)

A birth.

The aftermath of a disaster.

A character does something which will be discovered later. Eg; sneaks a love note into someone's possession, poisons the wine, plants a bomb in a car, etc.

A game or contest.

A kiss.

A performance or the conclusion of one.

One character rescues another.

A main character declares he is in big trouble.

A main character is clearly in big trouble.

A main character is in the hospital.

A main character sees a house or city for the first time.

A plane/ ship/ train arrives. ( Your OC might be on board or watching it. If they're on board, you can take the readers on a journey)

Someone gets amazing news.

Someone gets devastating news.

Someone goes on a date.

A scene at a party/bar / nightclub.

A fight scene. ( OC may be participating or watching the fight )

An all-out battle scene.

A character moves to a new place

A dramatic moment in the middle of the end of the story. ( You can decide to start like this and backtrack to show how they got there )

Someone is arrested.

A courtroom trail.

A job interview. ( This helps the story start with the main character being vulnerable and the readers can empathize with them while getting to know them through their inner monologue )

The main character gets fired from their job. ( A nice method for instant empathy)

A chase scene. ( Nothing better to pull the reader than a little action. Hehe ~)

Character or characters wait for another. Maybe an ambush or a surprise party.

A busy street scene.

A character/characters getting ready for an event. Eg; getting dressed, put on makeup, shaved, do their hair .etc

A visitor shows up at the door. ( a stray cat? A future love interest? Someone your character dislikes? Etc )

A character commits a crime.

A character witnesses a crime.

Characters or a character do a job.

One character teaches another how to do something.

Character or characters preparing to dit down at a meal

A character comes across a significant object. ( probably a magical object? A dangerous object like a gun? It could be anything. )

Someone teaches or attends a class.

Your main character discovers something shocking in the possession of their loved one. For example, imagine them discovering a gun / a suicide note, a bloody knife, or clothing, a large amount of hidden money, very disturbing photos, etc )

Your character running away from something or someone dangerous / deadly.

Your main character waking up in an unfamiliar place. ( A nice method to start with a little mystery. Spicy Bonus points: they don't remember how they got there in the first place. Or better yet AMNESIA!! There are many ways to get around it.)

50. Your character being followed. Or they're the one following someone)

---

healthy conversation dialogue starters

feel free to use :)

“do you want a hug or do you want to be alone?”

“do you want to be comforted or do you want to be distracted?”

“what can i do for you right now?”

“that’s okay.”

“i’m not okay with that, though.”

“are you okay with that?”

“it’s okay if you’re mad. it’s okay to be angry and it’s okay to cry and be sad. its okay to not be okay at all.”

“do what you need to do, i’m here when and if you’re ready to speak.”

“i’m okay with waiting— i’ll be here no matter how long you need.”

“yeah, but i don’t want you to be that for me. i don’t want you to be that person, that’s not who you are.”

“i’m okay with you caring for me and defending me. what i’m not okay with is you thinking that caring for me makes you entitled to being my partner or #1 in my life.”

“im not afraid to cut you out of my life if it’s what i need to be sane, okay? i need you to understand that i can and will survive without you.”

“no. you don’t have that power over me.”

“you’re not entitled to my love, especially not after how you treated me.”

“i love that i’m strong as hell without you but i’m stronger with you. i love that i know that, now. i don’t want to live without you, but i know i’ll survive even if i’m forced to. i love us.”

“i love our growth so much.”

“i love that i’m a person i can be proud of. i love that you’re with me on this journey.”

“i’ve been talking to a therapist lately.” “marry me now.”

“my love isn’t conditional.”

“your love was conditional. that was the issue.”

“i need you to take initiative.”

“let me know now if this isn’t something you want to work through.”

“i felt like we were at the end and i’m sorry i avoided talking to you instead of confronting that.”

“i’m sorry i made you feel like there was something here.”

“im sorry i assumed something was here. that’s not fair to you.”

“i shouldn’t have believed that. not without talking to you.”

“let me take responsibility for my faults. going through this doesn’t mean i get to hurt other people and get away with it.”

“i’m sorry i hurt you.” “i know, but that’s fine.”

“just because getting hurt is inevitable doesn’t mean you should let yourself be.”

“i don’t need you to tell me i’m worth something. Goddammit i was worth something without you and i will be even if you don’t want me.”

“i don’t think you made me someone of worth. you helped me realize that i had worth all along.”

“stop saying thank you. you being cared for isn’t something that i’m rewarding you with it is your right as someone who cares about you.”

“you aren’t entitled to everyone’s love but damn if you shouldn’t settle for people who use that to their advantage.”

“you have no right to my secrets. if i wanted to tell them to you i would and you have no business hurting me over jealousy.”

“this jealousy thing isn’t working.”

“this isn’t working. how can we make this work?”

“i want to work through this.” “me too.”

“i need you to listen to me right now.”

“i need you to look at me right now.”

“understand that i’m my own person. i need you to understand that. please.”

i feel like we as humans are problem solvers! we always want to fix issues but sometimes people just want to know you’re there :) hope u have fun letting your characters experience healthy relationships bc they deserve it!!!!